Black Dogs 28

Wyllow3 DH had 2 bikes when we met - a 650cc Triumph Bonneville and a 500cc Yamaha. He's got a 750cc Kawasaki in the shed. Hope your appointment went well. Good idea about defrosting the freezer like that. Hope you had a good chat with your cleaning lady.

We didn't go to the museum - in Jan, Feb and March, it's only open at weekends (which is disappointing), so we went to a garden centre with a large swan sanctuary - ducks and geese, too. They were all happy to get some food. Most of the ponds were frozen. Had Chicken Tikka Masala, then sherry trifle, in the restaurant there.

Sounds like a nice (indoor) outing, HVDY. Is DH a motorbike fan? Despite all, I'm so glad you have kelp up either your brother, for no doing so probably would feel worse, given us BD's with consciences, are so often in overdrive.

I can do a sort of hop/hobble on a heel so I'm taking a taxi to my appointment for 10.30am.

Happily my cleaner just pops in for a hour, so she can put the place to rights. I've dragged the freezer contents to outside - they wont melt there - for a defrost.

Best days for all BD's

ScaredyCat What did you have done with your hair? Nice to see your daughter at the same time.
Doodle My brother isn't Autistic, just self-centred and always has been. So long as he and his wife are ok, nobody else matters. He rings me only when he's got a problem. His wife went into hospital last night, with a chest infection, so he contacted me. Could your hip pain be related to the Osteoporosis? I hope you've got some decent painkillers until you see the GP. Aqua aerobics might help.
EllieAnne I hope the weather stays fine for your walk. You might find a new friend at the end of it, or at least people you feel comfortable with.
SweetpeaSue Has the bowel pain eased at all? What do you take for it? Hope today is better for you.
Wyllow3 I did boring cleaning, ironing and faffing about. Your poor foot - I'm sure you know about PRICE - Protect, Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation. Take it easy.

I don't feel like going to the day centre, so DH and I are going to visit a motorbike museum later. We'll have lunch out, for a change. Hope everyone has a decent day x

Just good to see you in, Sweetpeasue.

I'm really hoping you feel comfy with the people on the walk, Ellie Anne the good thing about walking as opposed to say an indoors group is that you are not stuck with someone. Smile slightly and get known as a "quiet person" whilst assessing your comfort levels. and remember...most people are in their own worlds and are unlikely to judge you xx

Yes, please do try and find out what the knee problem is, Doodle it may be....that if walking hurts, you may be able to use a cycling machine to keep best movement...every little helps and all. Consider more chair exercises as they are not weight bearing...
I have a vivid picture of your videos. They really, really were a great idea. food for thought there..I'm not with anyone but making some phone videos of the good bits of my everyday life..hmm.

It must be a disappointment to have to wear glasses after all, Scaredycat. spiffing hairdo there...yes, I cant understand your niece not making more fuss.

How was your pottering day, HVDY?

I'm feeling strange atm as high on tramadol. when I was at the gym, I got worked up as I'd lost a hearing aid (it reappeared much later after a search everywhere ...tangled up with my hair! it could have dropped out any time!!

then my lap top slipped off my lap at the gym and the corner fit the middle of my foot very hard. But I went on to do a little shop and leave a small at the GP's. But after a lie down at home, the pain was horrific, and I couldn't put any weight on. I slid and hopped until a shed load of painkillers made me move around and my foot is swollen. I rung 111 and they were nice and said go to minor injuries. said no one to talk me and a taxi driver would have to lift me into the car and its £15 just to get there..

Atm I think it will be Ok but wont make it to the much wanted Psychiatrist tomorrow (will have to be the phone or a taxi if mobile)

But the big things today was a +. I woke up yet again in despair but phoned F the quaker who is so understanding.

She understood how wrong D had been suggesting that since a MrA hug hadn't bothered her then I should feel the same.. and that her attitude has made things worse. I think she will have a word at the right time with her.

But just as importantly, she knows MrA well

We worked out that an "endgame' option would be for him to agree to 10 sessions with a therapist working with him to understand why what he did was so wrong as a bloke and what he sees as a 'momentary lapse" dent justify a physical attack as not all mew would do that at all, its a deep seated assumption/attitude to comprehend, and that he can come back to our little meeting when he has completed that.

I talked to my son at length. He is getting more and more mature: he will talk about emotional things now and genuinely caring, I feel very blessed, and caught up on family news.

Well, we'll see. I am high on Tramadol atm for the foot and likely t have to carry on with it for a bit, so better mood for now about it. (Tramadol and paracetamol together have an enhanced effect, but as its an opioid caution on cross drug reactions to my meds means one to work out carefully) I know Tramadol makes some people feel weird, I just feel a bit high.

Sorry, not been well today. Just extreme tiredness and bowel pain.
Will come back tomorrow hopefully.
Hope everyone has a peaceful night. X

I prefer to be in my bedroom because he never comes in there. I will post a picture of the jigsaw later.
I’ve signed up for a walk with a group tomorrow. Hope I can manage it ok.
And cope with new people.

Evening all. What a scary day weather wise. So slippery out,
Ellie Anne those models take steady hands and lots of patience. I’m not sur Eid do if if it wasn’t a gift. How are you doing? Do you do jigsaws too. I do as well but I’m not very good. Could you not get a small table to put the jigsaw on. Or could you do it on the dining table. Perhaps put headphones on so you can’t hear the Tv.
HVDY 72 is not that old these days. Is your brother autistic by any chance? It sounds as though he doesn’t have much understanding of empathy. Glad Jaffa is eating better hopefully he’s on the mend.
Sweetoeasue because of my memory problems from an early age , I knew I wouldn’t be able to remember things hence constant videoing of family and holidays and DH. I am so pleased now that I did. I can hear DH’s voice, see us laughing together and sharing jokes. It brings the good times back to me and I treasure them all.
Yes it does make you wonder if medical issues are related. Or knock on effects of one another the body is so complex and amazing it’s hard to know really.
Wyllow k I’ve had my X-ray results and my hip is fine. My knees show wear and tear and I’ve been referred for physio. As my hip itself is fine I’m ordering what’s causing pain when I walk and have looked into bursitis. I’m seeing the GP on Monday for my osteoporosis injection so I’ll ask her.
I love ice cream too but I’m afraid when it comes to crumble I’m a custard person every time.
Scaredycat how funny you and your DD both going to the hairdresser. Do you go to the same one?
Yes thank you my videos are my life line. I have hundreds of photos too. DH was a keen photographer. All out grandchildren have a photographic record form birth to 16 courtesy of their grandad. Mobile pics are good but a printed picture is worth a lot I think.

Morning all
HVDY- LG looks so warm and cosy - she is so gorgeous.
Isn’t it sad how joyless your Brother is. I can’t imagine not loving our animals and not caring about friends or family. Even though he is the way he is you still care for him - he is lucky to have you.
I think you fill your days with lots of lovely things. It’s just when it’s cold it’s so unrelaxing getting about. It’s another sunny but freezing day here . DD and I are going to the hairdressers later - we both made appts for today without knowing!!
Hope Jaffa continues to eat well- he’s a strong boy despite his problems.
SweetPeaSue- you have a personal hairdresser!! What a talented husband you have. He did well to do the outside work with his painful arm. He just has to be careful not to overdo it doesn’t he.
The weather looks dire in Scotland. What a long difficult journey your DS has for work.
Hope you’re both OK today.
Wyllow- turns out I will still have to wear glasses!! I was shocked how the sight test revealed my right eye is so much weaker than the left. I thought my distance vision was wonderful after the Op- so an expensive afternoon!!
Sounds like a plan to manage your energy levels. You have used up a lot of emotional energy re MrA. I hope your key worker can help you keep it in perspective.
Yes the past is what makes us who we are both good times and bad. As you say all part of life’s rich tapestry.
Doodle- I love your walking hand in hand with DH still- he is with you always.
My neice is a coper but I just wish she,d be more assertive- as you know unfortunately sometimes we have to make our voices heard.
I wish I had videos like you have- photos yes but it must be so lovely to watch the memories.what a tribute to your lovely partnership- we had such fun together.
Hope your hip calms down when the weather gets warmer.
Keep drinking the wine- one of life’s greatest pleasures.
EllieAnne- I,m not a Jigsaw person- what is the picture on yours. My DD loves them so a couple of year ago I got one mad e of a photo I,d taken overlooking the Grand Canal in Venice. It was quite difficult.
Love to all - still miss our old friends we haven’t seen for ages.
Keep warm.

It's a damp morning, but no snow or ice. Jaffa was sneezing and snotty all night, but is at least eating well now and having his medicine. No plans for today, so I might get some boring chores done. x

Oh, Doodle, I'd like some vanilla ice cream with said Rhubarb Crumble but have none in, I don't like custard.

I think they are related, Sweetpeasue - all aspects of our bodies response to stressors physical and emotional (tho some meds do affect tums. Yes, your area has suffered as in other equivalent areas in the north of England and hard to see how it can be turned around, they dont have alternative jobs as in other areas when there were big closures.

I'd keep on with those relaxing evening glasses of wine, Doodle, then! No you definitely don't want another fall. If your hip structurally damaged or is it severe bruising from the trauma of the last fall?

I think revisiting the past in the way you do is good. Remembering happy times, and why not? You are living your best life that you can now. I treasure many memories now even when they have complex associations - it's part of who we are and I understand more why older people talk about the past.

Its not, as sometimes assumed, because its "all we've got" (tho that may sometimes be the case). It's because they are part of a rich web of our lives.

I've never been a jigsaw person Ellie Anne so I'd be interested if you find you can concentrate.

Nice picture there, HVDY

Hvdy I have a board but the only place to do it is on the floor in my bedroom. I might do it or might not.
Our weather is ok. Had a bit of snow on Sunday but it’s gone now.
The worst of it is up north and I’m in the southwest by the coast. We hardly ever get snow.

* Wyllow* It was a tremendous blow to the area when the British Steel Industry was finished . The demise of I.C.I saw many jobs lost too.
The Quaker course should be interesting and it will be good for you to get your teeth into something you can learn more about. Oh, it seems a bit mean not to give you any idea of how your paper went down with Mr A. Hope you get some idea and a reply to your latest request. An afternoon nap is so needed when your body is so fatigued .
Doodle My DH has been used to doing models in the past of ships and such. I wouldnt have the patience. Hed never done a Rolife model before but hes good at putting bits together( hes the same with flat pack furniture- I'd not know where to start).
Glad youve been able to revisit your cruise hols taken with your DH. I remember how much you were looking forward to your last one and I know he wasnt able to do as much. So pleased you have those visual memories of the good times.
I seem to have a collection of med issues and I wonder if they're sort of related( IC, IBS and Fibro) Maybe one day Drs will know more about these things.
Do look after that hip- beware of ice.
HVDY What a gorgeous photo. LG looks very cosy in that outfit.
EllieAnne Good luck with that jigsaw- what is it of? Hope youve been OK with the cold weather. My so went back to work yesterday and had to travel to Shetland and he said weather conditions were dreadful at Aberdeen.

Hope all have a peaceful night. X

Wyllow3 I can't blame you for staying in and keeping cosy yesterday. It was absolutely bitter outside. Hope you get a satisfactory response from the Quakers. I could write a book on all the insensitive things my brother has said.... He atually says he doesn't care what people think of him (hence having nobody).
Doodle Glad you've got happy memories of your life with your husband, and photographic proof of the lovely times you shared. My brother is depressed, but he's always been cold and unfeeling. When our mum died (she had a stroke and was put on the Liverpool pathway), he said "she's had a good innings". She was 72. He's an idiot.
EllieAnne What's the weather like where you are? I hope it's not too bad. I've got a jigsaw (cats on it, obviously) that DIL bought for Christmas 2024. I ought to get a board to put it on. Would you have somewhere to put yours?

I had a look at those rolife models. I don’t think I could do them. I brought a jigsaw home from church today. Someone was giving them away. I’m no t sure if I will do it or not.
Little girl looks so cosy.

Scaredycat you’re right about treasuring every moment. Hope your cataract check up went well and all is ok. Yes I do feel my DH is with me all the time. I talk to him constantly when I’m on my own. When I’m out walking I imagine holding his hand as I always did.
I can’t believe your niece is still waiting for her op. That ridiculous. How on Earth is the poor girl coping?
HVDY why on Earth would your brother say such an awful thing? He is very depressed isn’t he.
Ooh LG looks lovely and cosy. Can’t believe she’s grown so much.

Sweetpeasue your Dh must have endless patience and delicate hands to do the Roliffe models. I’ve been working on mine for months and no where near finished
Sorry you’re not feeling great with you fibro. The constant aches and pains must drive you mad. I have a problem with my hip. Nothing nearly as bad as yours but I find it a constant irritation. I have been spending thr afternoon looking at old videos of our cruises and holidays. Lovely to see DH looking relaxed and happy. We had such fun together.
Wyllow you sound more positive today which is good.
I drink too much I know that. I think the biggest problem is weight gain not depression.. Dh and I drank wine with our meals for years, I am used to it and plan to continue. I find it relaxes me.
Hope you enjoyed your crumble. Did you have it with custard?
HvDY I decided not to go out today. As you say it was too cold and I didn’t want to fall over again. Obviously Jaffa needs specialist care, how lucky for him he came to live with someone who would take good care of him.

That was an early start, HVDY. And a very active day too. I’m glad you got out with LG for a spot of fresh air. Thank you for the explanation of Jaffa’s ongoing medical issues, I can see why it’s a constant concern and needing treatment. Honestly, your brother, what he says!!! No wonder you get cross with him.

Fully understood, nadateturbe not a wimp. You know you will be exhausted tomorrow after it as well as today’s efforts, the price to pay is high even when it’s something you enjoy How are you now, after the tests? Did you get any useful information back from it?

We miss you!

Oh Scaredycat - unbearably sad as you witness deterioration. I’ve never had to face it. Yet I have no doubt it counts, it matters, and you are so right about the lessons when faced with stark realities. I hope the post op visit went well.

I simply..well, could not believe your niece is still in the situation she is! I think I’d have contacted my MP by now and created such a fuss!!!

Sweetpeasue: yes, it’s not all posh homes and holiday land once you get north of the most well known bits of the Moors and coast. Small towns that used to have industry or used to be successful ports on the coast.

I’m glad you made it to costa and DH achieved something and your hair is done. Small achievements. Its hard not to wish one could do more as in the past and see others clearly leading a fuller life

I was so tired after yesterday I’ve spent the day at home in fleece. I did get some important stuff done tho like finding out how much POA costs via my nice solicitors

I’ve registered for a Quaker zoom course on Feminist Theology (not just for Quakers) - its an interest of mine and international participants.

I’ve arranged my calendar so activities are morning only as long as I’m having a PEM response everyday atm and intend to go to bed every afternoon.

Yes, the mediators did see MrA, but didn’t tell me whether he was reasonably amenable for a proper dialogue or totally hostile and blocking

I have written to ask her if she will give me an indication of which it might be as otherwise it’s 8 days to know. (Then the final meeting together the week after). In the meantime, I see my key worker and it’s really important to know to discuss it with her, next Tuesday. How to cope if its really negative.

Warm seasonal greetings to other BD’s, stay warm, drink a lot of liquids, have treats..

Autocorrect! He has a cat with his 1st wife. He'd spontaneously combust if he knew Son1 spent £450 at the vet's, trying to get one of their rats OK (it had to be PTS)

SweetpeaSue My brother cannot understand the love for any pet. He had a cat with him 2st wife then his current wife had a cat when he met her. He's not a compassionate or empathic person. Glad you got your roots done. My husband has just gone out with Son1.

ScaredyCat LG was very cosy yesterday

Scaredycat It must be extremely hard to watch such a sad situation as your poorly friend and her DH who is in the nursing home. I think we all hope that we never have to go through such circumstances. Your poor neice too! She must be so uncomfortable , to say the least, that's truly terrible. Hope she hears about an appt soon.
Yes , we are lucky to live here ,even though there are many poorer areas. We do get a cruel NE wind blasting at times too!
HVDY What a dreadful thing for your brother to say about Jaffa. He can't realise how much he is loved or the reality that Jaffa's condition is nowhere near bad enough to do such a thing. He can put his foot in it can't he. Glad Jaffa is eating again. We've not done much today really. DH salted parhs and took snow off my car and we went to Costa then just been in rest of the day. DH dyed my roots too, even though his arm was hurting.

Hoping Nadateturbe is OK.

ScaredyCat Sad about your friend and her husband. You're right, we ought to try to make the most of our days (I don't, but it is cold). My brother visited his wife today - Norovirus is going around there, so they're asking visitors to wear masks.... although it isn't airborne, it's passed through contact with surfaces or people. Hope he doesn't get it (even though he is a miserable so-and-so. He said I should have Jaffa put to sleep! I'd rather have him put to sleep) It's unbelievable that your poor niece is still waiting!

Thinking of Nadateturbe x

Hi all
Just got back from taking my dear poorly friend to visit
her very ill DH in his care home. Unbearably sad. All I can say is we must treasure each day and be kind to each other. This afternoon I am going for the 6 week eye test after my cataract operations.

Doodle- you have come to a great understanding of how you feel in your ‘new’ life . I,m glad you can enjoy your times with friends old and new . In a way your DH is going with you everywhere.
Yes it’s so nice to have my DD live so close to us and being able to have those little surprise visits .
My sister is doing well thank you. Every Winter she gets a bad throat and cough but she feels OK. My niece,by the way, is still waiting for her Op- it beggars belief.
SweetPeaSue- Glad your DH is enjoying his modelling- so good for him to have an absorbing hobby that is not physically taxing.
What a lovely part of the country you live in - a combination of the wild Moors and the beautiful coast.
So sorry the Fibro makes life so uncomfortable for you. Such a debilitating condition.
HVDY- it must have been freezing in the park- don’t suppose LG even noticed it was cold.
Poor Jaffa- good job he’s eating again. Hope you had a good sleep after the Vino.
Your brother is probably nervous now the ground is so slippy..I know I,m wary and I have 2 legs. Hope you get to see him even though he is an old grumps.
Wyllow- Hopefully today MrA will take on board your paper and what is obviously a well written and much considered document. You have done all you can now .
You had a good busy day and got lots done. It might be worth it to give the Thai massage that is nearer a go.
Rhubarb crumble- we need some! How have we missed that in M and S.
Do give the Art Group a try if you can. All you can do is try it - you would be an asset to the group.
It’s so easy to find yourself drinking a bit more,than you should
After a difficult day or just to relax it’s a lovely treat and it tastes good too!! I don’t drink now because of the AF but Oh I did enjoy it when I did. As you say just get the balance right.
Nadateturbe- Will be thinking of you this afternoon- you,ll be exhausted after all that. Hope it all goes smoothly for you.
One thing you are NOT is a wimp.

Love to all. Mentioned or missedxxx

Thanks Sweetpeasue. I do hope I pick up soon. Miss posting. xx