Black Dogs 28

Wyllow3 I have a sense of duty/loyalty, although I doubt my brother feels the same. How's your day been? It's been really windy here, but dry.

ScaredyCat My husband hadn't seen my brother for a few years, but they chatted about cars, tools, welding - blokey things. DH is very easy-going. He made a delicious roast chicken dinner. I'm glad your hand is feeling a bit better. What a strange thing to happen. Have you been out today?

Doodle Glad you had a good church service. Were there many people there?

SweetpeaSue It's understandable that you feel that anger about the way in which your husband was neglected/overlooked/not treated. I hope the appointments he's got coming up will give you some hope that he'll get better.

DH and I went for our eye tests at SpecSavers - the bloke couldn't find the appointments on the computer.... it turned out it's next Friday! I'd made the appointments, so had myself to blame for not paying attention. Brother has just gone (stayed 3 hours) and enjoyed his dinner and cream cake.

Doodle Just seen your post. It appears youve had the closeness in church I was hoping for you. God bless you in this special time.x

HVDY Sounds like lovely family Easter Day coming up for you all. Crossed fingers the weather's OK. Glad your DBs come round a little and being more sociable. Hope your evening is OK!
Scardycat You always write such lovely posts to us all. I just dont know how you stay so positive about things - youve been through so much too. What a lovely friend you must be to others. Really hope that hand is a bit better. Yes, glad funeral is over with ,though its left me v insecure and sad.
Doodle Hope youve been OK today and can have some comforting words from your friends. It must help knowing others in the same boat, so to speak-- and not feel so alone with those feelings of grief. You each have something special to share and support each other. Hope church service went well and brought closeness with God and others.
Wyllow Those feeli gs of anger that suddey come to you in the night and other times- I understand because I feel them too, though obviously for different reasons. My own anger is that the whole time I was crying out for help for DH the Drs let us down. Now my DH has awful pain every day in his shoulder, arm and hand and cant use it properly and efficiently. Is read what may happen if the Subclavian Steal wasnt dealt with and left too long and what I feared has happened. Your own anger is I think , that a man abused yku , a man that had the title and figure head of a Godly person ,which left others to most likely side with him and you not being believed. I hope that now , with time, you can feel better , also knowing that now Quakers realise what happened.
Oh the times Ive regretted a post, though our friends here understand its when we own our feelings and share because we have a need.
EllieAnne I dont know what youll be doing at Easter but hope your church and friends there will help lessen your loneliness , if only a little.
NadateturbeAllsorts**Candy**Whiff
Hope you are all OK.

Not a good day today. Woke not wanting to face the day but have got through. I miss my healthy DH and wish the stents had given him more help. Must wait for the Cardio appt ( its only with Cardiac nurse, not consultant ) and Vascular appt.

Wishing all a peaceful night. X

Evening all
I’ve been to the most lovely Easter service today. A wonderful experience of deep thinking. Quiet prayers. Emotional hymns and ultimately deep sadness for all that happened at this time. I feel very emotional tonight so just a quick visit.
Scaredycat hope your hand improves soon.
HVDY you are so good to your brother. I hope the venting is a peaceful one with no antagonism.
Wyllow good that D seems to be supporting you now and that others understand what’s gone on.
Sweetpeasue hope you’ve had another pleasant day.
Ellie Anne Easter must be difficult for you are you involved in any church activities.?

Hi all
HVDY- lovely family times for you all this week.Hope the Clumber Park day goes well - it sounds great.
Fancy your brother asking to come round- maybe he’s realising what he’s been missing all this time. Difficult for your DH but he doesn’t seem like someone who would show his feelings and spoil your evening. You are so big hearted and hope your brother appreciates your kindness.
SweetPeaSue- you must be glad the funeral is over. I,m glad it went off OK.
Your day out together sounds absolutely perfect and it,must have done you both good.Fluffball was a good girl too.
Doodle- it was my hand that hurt the most around my thumb and the pad underneath. It was soo painful but getting better each day.
Ah Spring time is sad for you and your friend but how comforting that you have each other and such close understanding.
I expect you have been at Church today. When I was at school we went to Church for stations of the Cross-I found it a very sad day.
Wyllow- so glad you got out to the High Peak. My sister said it snowed the other day. You had another of those lovely unexpected encounters. The pleasure of them lasts long after you,ve parted doesn’t it.
I think HVDY is right about letting go of Mr A and his bad vibes.Look forward to some family times and whatever the Summer will bring.

Your workmen sound pretty perfect and glad they have done such a good job. Bring on the afternoon naps!!

Nadateturbe,EllieAnne,Allsorts,Candy and others we miss wishing you an Easter that is kind and gentle . Love to all

Oh, HVDY - families....of course you have to say "yes". Sigh.

Wyllow3 I don't eat lamb (or pork), but we don't invite the family for roast dinners - too many of them. We'll see everyone on Sunday at Clumber Park, for a picnic and Easter events happening there. I think, for your own mental health, you really need to let the Mr A business go. You've done everything possible to see that people know about him and that he's punished. I'm glad the men have done a good job. It's always nice to get these jobs done properly.

My brother must be desperate - he rang (he usually only does so when something is bothering him), asked if DH and I will be on our own later (we will), and asked if he can come for dinner. Obviously, I said yes. He hasn't been here for 6 years, having previously said " I f**king hate coming to your house". My husband dislikes my brother, for many reasons. What a jolly evening ahead....

Huh. Rain has stopped play..tomorrow, or Tuesday..they were so nice about it: actually I'm a bit relieved, can have an afternoon sleep if I want...

I'm guessing its not a sunny day elsewhere too, bests to all BD's.

I like quizzes, in good company, HVDY they are fun, and I don't mind not winning at all! Stretches the brain a bit. I hope you have some nice family events lined up this weekend - do you do the full lamb roast thing or stick to personal tastes?

I regretted last nights post. I know so well I have to leave it behind, and continuing to allude to it doesn't help, well not in that depth - hit me in the night, uninvited pangs of sheer anger. I'll leave it in as a last salvo.

Well it's not raining yay - currently waiting for workmen to arrive, but all being well it will be the last day. I've coped pretty well with it but yes am relieved - except the scaffolding men won't come to take it down of course straightaway, it may need some hassle to keep myself near the top of their to do list.

But they have been doing a superb, really professional job - it's clear to see. Sad the wall is at the back of the house - it will look so spiffing but not from out the front.

We have a different theme for the quizzes each week. This week was Easter, and things related to it.

Mr A and his actions have had a big effect on you. I hope you'll soon be able to look to the future (visits to family, etc) without it hanging over you.

Nice Day Centre Day there, HVDY What sort of quizzes do they have?

Nearly 6, well it will be on April 12th.
And all he had to do was be honest from the start. Or even when he actually signed as guilty to Sexual Assault one month after the event and then Safeguarding to decide what to do.

One male ego - an ex Methodist Minister too - at stake.

cost: a mere one vulnerable person (I am actually legally Safeguarded and he knew) suffers for months: other Quakers dragged in, confused, having to meet on this and that - and some believe him: police shell out goodness know how much for Restorative Justice...well, I've made you all live through it.

SweetpeaSue That sounds like a very nice day. Ducks, Fluffball, coffee and a sea view. Lovely.

Doodle Your friend understands how you feel, and it's good that you can talk to each other about your husbands. That's important. I wish my brother was a sociable type of person. He wouldn't join U3a. His only friend has just died- she was 95. I've given all the family children an Easter egg and £5 in a card - 5 of them. Both sons have got After Eights, and the DILs some chocolates. Enjoy your evening at church. You'll be ready for bed after that, I should think.

Wyllow3 You chat to random people, which is great. Nice that you seem to find ones who either share your views or like to engage in discussions. The MrA situation will be known by all Quakers now, then. Is it about 6 months since it happened?

nadateturbe and EllieAnne How are you?

Day centre was nice - quizzes, raffle (I didn't win), Chicken Chasseur, potatoes and veg, then Easter cakes. Hope everyone has a relaxing evening x

How is your arm, *Scaredycat?

Aw, what a great day, Sweetpeasue.
May you have increasing numbers of days like today. Sigh, the sea, the sea, but I do live so close to lovely countryside.

She is a very special friend, Doodle..maybe the one who understands the most. It's so important to have people who really do relate to what you are going through. I hope you do stay awake...Easter is both sombre and joyful, with personal echoes, an emotional time.

Actually after collecting my own computer after months of problems with he screen and doing a big shop, I took off and drove out to the High Peak for a very slow but lovely ridge walk,

and what a great chat at the top with a young women - I asked her to take a photo of me for the family, and we got talking about blokes, life, how things have or haven't changed for women.....then shook hands and said goodbye. Not your usual "bump into someone", but she had studied psychology and has the same natural curiosity as me what makes people tick. Sun, views, clears the mind for awhile, difficult things retreat, and so on.

the forecast is much better for the Easter Weekend than expected.

and get this - QuakerD has contacted the one man in my meeting as in a "significant peron" who didnt know who MRA is and who his victim was (she had offered)

she said "he wasn't surprised" about MrA..tho it could have got round a bit or by process of elimination, but still, he was "glad to be told"

Wondering how Ellie Anne is and if you are able to do anything these days nadateturbe

Scaredycat sorry the blood test is causing you pain. Hope it eases soon. What a lovely time with your DGD . Good news about your sister too. Church was lovely last night and very peaceful.
My friend is lovely. We’ve both had teary moments today. April and May bring back strong memories for us both. Nice we can tell each other though.
HVDY shame about men in sheds, Yes maybe a photography group would suit him. Have you looked at his local U3A? I’ve been out buying chocolates for the family today, I don’t buy Easter eggs now they’re grown up. Chocolate is so expensive. Are you getting eggs for your grandchildren?
Wyllow glad you got somewhere with D. Hope that makes things better at Quakers. The swim sounds very calming.
Sweetpeasue sounds like you and your Dh had a pleasant day with nice walks and views. I hope you relaxed a bit.
Ellie Anne and Nadateturbe thinking of you both. Hope life is a little easier,
I’m off to church again tonight. Long session from 8 to 11. Hope I can stay awake.

Quite a full day today( for us).
DH took Fluffball for a little walk first thing then we went to a nice local village with stream, ducks ( and Costa). Fluffball v interested in the ducks but kept on lead.
Then afternoon walk on stray by sea and got a nice coffee from good coffee mobile van further up and drank it looking out over the sea.

Glad you had better night Wyllow.
Sorry, must have missed about Pebbledash job and thought they were finished.
Hope everyone's day has been as well as it can.

Had a bit better sleep, disturbed, no despair ...cross fingers..
Its sunny, and the workman are Ok to be around.

Better sleep not self (duh) guess a better self for a bit too.

I'm glad the pebbledash crew like to come at 9, I don't like very early starts!

Scaredycat your arm must feel very strange, I hope it feels like your own arm again very soon. Thank goodness you have an explanation for it not working properly.

I was very moved by your friend and her DH face-timing. I wondered how and if they were able to communicate. I do hope the immunology side effects are not too strong. I read up about them when you first mentioned it....but it's one of these different people affected differently.
Yes, how on earth did that baby you held be 40? Impossible!

I'm glad that a sad and difficult time went well, Sweetpeasue. Everyone must be exhausted. I'm so glad you have your bundle of fur with you. I like to be with my sister's dog, but not to be responsible for a cat or dog atm.

I'm so glad you had an LG day, HVDY. It seems a long time since there has been one. And s super one too, the animals, the walk, a nice curry and a bit of time with Son2.

I had a better self this afternoon, we'll see how the night goes. I dont think about eye a lot, but of course its underneath.

Doodle Hope you enjoy the night service.
HVDY You've had such a full day again and great to see all your family.
Wyllow Hope you have a better night. Perhaps now things are cleared up with D. Glad the building work finished.
Scaredycat Oh you poor thing. Hope your arm feels a little better tomorrow though sounds like it may take a few dys.
Hope when you see your friend tomorrow she isnt too bad.

Been an emotional day . Everything went well. V tired now. Have Fluffball fot the night.
Hope everyone has a peaceful one.x

SweetpeaSue My brother tried that Men in Sheds, but said a 30-mile round trip for 3 or 4 hours wasn't worth it. How did today go?

Wyllow3 Glad the men did the pebbledash work ok. I hope D now has a clearer understanding of how you have been feeling, and that things will be more settled between you. Nice to have a quiet and relaxing swim. Hope you have a better night tonight.

Doodle Busy day for you. Take care.

ScaredyCat That's very good news about your sister. Onwards and upwards for her. I hope your poor friend's treatment won't cause too many ill-effects. Nice that you saw your GD. I forget you have grown-up GC. You don't seem old enough. I hope the pain in your arm goes away soon and
doesn't affect your sleep.

Busy day - LG here at 8, then we fetched GD1 and went to a farm park. Lots of walking, lots of animals, lunch in the cafe there. Fed the ducks etc at a park near home. Son2 came, and we all had an Indian takeaway, before they went at 7.30. A long, tiring, but very nice day. Hope everyone is ok x

Hi all
HVDbY- my sisters arrhythmia was a temporary blip and the hospital are not worried about her heart now- phew!! She has taken a few steps too.
My friend so deserves a break From those awful chemo side effects but unfortunately immunotherapy is not without its own problems. Seeing her tomorrow.
That was a big Aqua class- you must have a good laugh though.
Those,pancakes with fruit are just the job I love that sort,of food.
Your garden is full of little critters - lovely. We have 4 of our dear moggies at rest in ours.
Perhaps,there is a local photography group your brother could join. Mine is a U3A one.
SweetPeaSue - so glad to hear that DH didn’t need his spray on your seaside walk. Perhaps he’s becoming a bit more relaxed and not worrying so much about,having an attack.
My Sister and I are like chalk and cheese too but when together can talk for England .
Oh I love those B and M storage boxes. It must have been fun sorting out all the sorts of wool and the colours. Your knitting will be so appreciated by those who receive it. I,remember that sweet little doll you,made. What a kind soul you are.
I hope the funeral went as well as it could and people were able to remember that lovely lady in a way to feel comfort. Your DiL will need you in the coming weeks - losing our Mums is so hard Isn’t it.
Doodle- yes my friend and DH do use FaceTime. He calls her many times a day .
You have worked so hard to build a new life for yourself - not easy when you had such a partnership as you had. But you have a lovely easy going nature that people gravitate to I think.you have a good mix too of people with many different interests.
Your lovely neighbour is special- I do hope you and she can have some days by the sea in the Summer.
This Easter week is a busy one at Church - hope you enjoyed tonight’s service.
Wyllow- what an achievement to have a book in the Artists collection in the Tate. I,d love to see more of your work - it’s so varied and natural. But you are right - it’s great to be financially,artistically or academically successful but family,friends,caring for those we love and those we don’t even know is what feeds our souls.
Those bad nights- what a trial they are. Having the worry about your eye must have felt like- whatever next. Your mind often works overtime- you need time out.
Your workmen sound pretty perfect as workmen go. They really got stuck in didn’t they.
You played a blinder with D. You uncovered her vulnerable side so you were both able to be honest with one another.
I do hope the tail is stingless.
That swim must have felt so good - just what you needed.
May you have a peaceful night.

Yesterday was busy I had Coffee with GD1 in the morning and a lovely chatty catch up. She will be 40 in the Summer. How did that happen!!
Then in the afternoon I had blood tests. The top of my arm hurt on the way home and then during the evening my left hand became so painful around the thumb area. It woke me up during the night and was still painful this morning. So I did the triage thing at the surgery and the Dr left me a message to say that sometimes they can touch a nerve during the test and it can cause pain for a few days afterwards. So I only have one working hand right now.
Nadateturbe,EllieAnne and all Bds hope you all have peaceful nights

Have a good evening church, in the lead up to Easter.

Evening all. Flying visit tonight. I’ve been at church and out and about a lot of the day. Home for quick dinner then back to church for 8 o clock service. Take care all and catch up tomorrow

I also think it's the way you are, Doodle, my guess is you are a good, kind and patient listener.

What a great cook-in, HVDY. You've quite a collection of once loved pets there.

V bad night again, took tablets. I was able to be up to it when the workmen came, and they are a nice lot. (Even better, when I got home after 3.30, they were gone, having removed all the pebbledash).

Well....I think it went very well with D. I did quiet and vulnerable not the anger and above all listening and made the points I needed to, but it was part pushing at a door that wasnt locked. She had been feeling guilty. Some difficult things were said by both but she ended up opening up, being vulnerable herself.
Usually there is a sting in the tail later, we'll see. If it has made a difference - great.

I got respect: hard work.

I was utterly done in at the end and confused but as it was going to be noisy at home, went to the gym mind all over the place but a sauna then surprised myself with a short swim as it was very quiet in the pool, and centred me.

Mood - vulnerable, but tonight will tell, or any stings in tale.

It's been chilly and uninviting outside here - were there any venturings out, BD's?

HVDY Oh what a shame the Men in Sheds closed when your DB had made friends and had connections. Thats so very sad. 15miles away for another one but I expect your DB might not think its worth the trouble for 4hrs. However it would be worth the effort if he got so.much out of it.
Doodle You have so many friends in various groups and its all down to your own efforts - it really cant have been easy.
Yes, I hate funerals . Its particularly difficult as I was same age as my DIL ( give or take 2 yrs) when my own mum died, and she died on 12 March 4 days earlier than her own mum , 16th March.
I really feel for her , shes not had an easy life either.