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::POA's - do we really need them?

(122 Posts)
Franbern Tue 03-Feb-26 10:04:32

My two eldest daughters are very helpful and caring to me. I am in my mid-80's, with several medical conditions. Fortunately, my mental health, in all aspects is pretty good. Both my parents were totally compus mentus up until the day they died.

Both these AC know full details on my monies, etc. Know where I keep all my passwords and all matters dealing with my bank account, etc. My paperwork with regard to my flat is in good order in a file. And they know where I keep that and all other papers including my will (of which they each have a copy) I do trust both of them implicetly

On several occasions I have suggested that I should have POA's both financial and social made out in their names, and each time they tell me NOT to do this. Not because they are unwilling to take on the responsibilities involved, but because they say it is a totally unnecessary expense.

They know my wishes if I became seriously ill, etc. and as my next of kin would be the ones consulted by Doctors, etc. They could and would be able to continue with my financial arrangements. Virtually all my regular payments are on Direct Debit, so there would be no change there.

Both are professional people, with a good knowledge of these things. Yet, I keep being told that I SHOULD take out these POA's.

Would be interested to hear from other people on this

crazyH Wed 04-Feb-26 21:49:20

Sorry Delene100 - only just saw your message.
I’m sure you have read all the informative posts.
Someone has posted the link, so I won’t repeat everything.
If not, just ring the Office of the Public Guardian and they will give you all the information.
Yes, get that done - it’s important

win Wed 04-Feb-26 21:45:37

sue421

I really understand this. My husband and I have always looked after each other, made decisions, financially and health wise. BUT now we have to have these so I can make decisions about his care.... I have been caring 24/7 for 6 years and no one has once asked for the poa...... at mo he can still say he agrees. Tis a sign of the times that no one trusts us to care for our family etc. My parents did not do a POA, and I made decisions, very tough, but knew their wishes. I worked in their best interests. But for those that do not have good relationships with their family it must be essential. I have already payed for my funeral and stated what I want. My husband is leaving it to me! However you can do it online for a lot less than solicitors charge. If you get it done then it is done and just carry on...... x

If there are several sibling they can each have different ideas of care and often fall out about it. You may say that will never happen but it does all the time, I constantly see it, I support 80 carers so hear every different tale there is to listen to regarding health and welfare even more so about finances.

crazyH Wed 04-Feb-26 21:45:00

Yes ☝️

win Wed 04-Feb-26 21:43:21

butterandjam

@Dreadwitch

" *It's best to have a lasting power of attorney that covers before an after death.*"

They don't cover "before and after death"

A Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA)
automatically and immediately ends upon the death of the donor.

100% this, the executor takes over at death

win Wed 04-Feb-26 21:42:31

There would be a huge change because legally they cannot use your bank account if you lose capacity, unless you have set it up in advance. The account is simply frozen.

win Wed 04-Feb-26 21:40:22

Franbern

My two eldest daughters are very helpful and caring to me. I am in my mid-80's, with several medical conditions. Fortunately, my mental health, in all aspects is pretty good. Both my parents were totally compus mentus up until the day they died.

Both these AC know full details on my monies, etc. Know where I keep all my passwords and all matters dealing with my bank account, etc. My paperwork with regard to my flat is in good order in a file. And they know where I keep that and all other papers including my will (of which they each have a copy) I do trust both of them implicetly

On several occasions I have suggested that I should have POA's both financial and social made out in their names, and each time they tell me NOT to do this. Not because they are unwilling to take on the responsibilities involved, but because they say it is a totally unnecessary expense.

They know my wishes if I became seriously ill, etc. and as my next of kin would be the ones consulted by Doctors, etc. They could and would be able to continue with my financial arrangements. Virtually all my regular payments are on Direct Debit, so there would be no change there.

Both are professional people, with a good knowledge of these things. Yet, I keep being told that I SHOULD take out these POA's.

Would be interested to hear from other people on this

You absolutely need both, if you have not got them in place other people who do not know anything about you will make decisions on your behalf. the authorities will override your daughters and not listen to anything they say. Saying we know what mum would have wanted does sadly not wash. I have experience my husband had a massive stroke and never spoke other word, we did not have POA in place I had to become a deputy instead, which helped a bit, but these days that can take a year or more to come through. You can do the POAs on line yourself then it is not costly. Please get your paperwork in order. Personally I think everyone should have one from the day they get married to protect each other, I think just as important as a life insurance. They will have no access to your money if you lose capacity in which case social services can take over your affairs, which is really costly. Do not listen to your daughters in this instance.

Fradders Wed 04-Feb-26 21:31:34

A POA is more important than a will I think.I did mine through a Solicitor,it costs more than doing it yourself,but for me it has given me peace of mind.
Always make sure you have more than one person with POA,if possible.also make sure you trust the people implicitly.

Fudgemonkey Wed 04-Feb-26 21:26:19

Yes, more important than a Will!

butterandjam Wed 04-Feb-26 19:10:54

@Dreadwitch

" *It's best to have a lasting power of attorney that covers before an after death.*"

They don't cover "before and after death"

A Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA)
automatically and immediately ends upon the death of the donor.

sue421 Wed 04-Feb-26 18:47:05

I really understand this. My husband and I have always looked after each other, made decisions, financially and health wise. BUT now we have to have these so I can make decisions about his care.... I have been caring 24/7 for 6 years and no one has once asked for the poa...... at mo he can still say he agrees. Tis a sign of the times that no one trusts us to care for our family etc. My parents did not do a POA, and I made decisions, very tough, but knew their wishes. I worked in their best interests. But for those that do not have good relationships with their family it must be essential. I have already payed for my funeral and stated what I want. My husband is leaving it to me! However you can do it online for a lot less than solicitors charge. If you get it done then it is done and just carry on...... x

GrannySomerset Wed 04-Feb-26 18:37:32

We did POAs when DH’s Parkinson’s was getting worse. It meant I could deal with all the medical stuff, manage the money and make decisions. It made a very difficult situation much easier. My POA has both children listed if/when I am no longer in charge of my life and I regularly check that they know where everything is.

As my sensible Yorkshire MiL noted, you don’t die a day earlier just because you have made a will, and the same is true of POAs. Can’t see any reason not to have them.

WithNobsOnIt Wed 04-Feb-26 18:24:51

Read through all this great information provided by other posters. Covers all the pitfalls.

Get POA to completely everything asap.

I have POA on my self with my Solicitor acting as the executor for me.

Peace of mind is priceless.

🙏👍😻

KathrynP Wed 04-Feb-26 17:58:39

My husband is in hospital at the moment with delirium and dementia. I was immediately asked for a POA at the hospital. Today I am told it is likely he has untreatable cancer. There are many decisions to be made on his behalf and I am so glad we set up a POA. I did mine when I was 25 after my aunt explained that if I was walking along under a scaffold and a brick dropped on my head and gave me a temporary brain injury my attorney would be able to act on my behalf re bills and setting up direct debits. Also if he has to go to a care home our monies will have to be halfed and a new account set up for him and I would need to look after his finances but would definitely need a POA.

Dizzyribs Wed 04-Feb-26 17:14:18

If you fall seriously ill and lose mental capacity for a while, have a stroke, have to go into hospital or a care home, or have carers at home even for a short while, the bank can prevent your daughters using your cards, passwords, pins etc. in fact they shouldn’t allow your daughters to use them now, even with your permission.
As has been said above, without a POA they have to apply for guardianship, which is costly and takes ages. It’s not guaranteed that it will be approved either (but it usually is). With a POA it’s relatively easy as your wishes are clear and “the authorities” can’t argue with it.
My mother had one and when I had to take over her affairs it was so quick and simple. My friends’s mother didn’t and, in identical circumstances, she had to wait over a year, pay hundreds of pounds and watch her mothers’s health and finances drain away. Simple things like setting up a direct debit for the care company, taking out another fixed deal with the energy company or cancelling an expensive mobile phone contract just couldn’t happen.

granbabies123 Wed 04-Feb-26 16:32:51

This year an uncle died and my husband had POA, thank goodness he had. It made life so much easier when he suddenly took a turn for the worse and entered hospital.

Nik1ta Wed 04-Feb-26 16:26:46

Dreadwitch

You really don't need to pay, you can do it yourself.

Yes, the Public Guardian website is quite user friendly and most people should be able to manage to get their LPAs prepared and registered.

Dreadwitch Wed 04-Feb-26 16:04:16

You really don't need to pay, you can do it yourself.

Dreadwitch Wed 04-Feb-26 16:03:26

Yes it's necessary, banks will often block accounts if they have any reason to suspect the holder isn't fully with it, so knowing your passwords wouldn't help. Plus if you're not fully on the the ball anyone accessing your personal accounts could be done for fraud.

It's best to have a lasting power of attorney that covers before an after death. It doesn't have to be costly, you'll get it free if you receive certain benefits, pension credit is one of them or a reduced amount for other benefits or low income.

But you can do it yourself easily enough, I did my mums and her will for the cost of the paper and printer ink, both are legally binding. If you go here there is everything you need to do it yourself.

www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/make-lasting-power&ved=2ahUKEwiVg4yrmsCSAxWYbEEAHeuUGSgQy_kOegYIAQgKEAE&opi=89978449&cd&psig=AOvVaw0rxkb2FtTGY_Pg2aoATiIB&ust=1770307190479000

SueEH Wed 04-Feb-26 15:55:38

I couldn’t have managed my dad’s financial affairs, bought his retirement flat or managed our jointly owned rental property without the Finance and Property POA and have already done my own (online £92).
He didn’t have and wouldn’t do the Health and Welfare POA but I had permission to speak with his doctors (completed form at his surgery) and when he died in hospital from heart failure I asked his consultant whether having the POA would have made any difference and he replied not a scrap.
So, I haven’t done my own H & W POA yet; although I am telling the kids that I’m going to put in it that if they ever put me into a care home it must have a sea view 😁

Allsaints55 Wed 04-Feb-26 15:55:18

This was for my mother I should have said

Allsaints55 Wed 04-Feb-26 15:54:10

Me & my sister paid for POA for financial & Health & had them registered at great expense . She was 91 when she died in hospital with the doctors with great care making decisions. Before that her dear friend was doing all her finances, banking on line , knew her passwords ( she was trusted) but all this without POA . So in the end it wasn’t needed . I do wonder if it’s just to get us to pay for things as we are always told our much we will need these documents & we managed very well not ever using them

EmilyHarburn Wed 04-Feb-26 15:44:24

A friendo fmine fell in her yard and was found unconsious. the ambulance took her to hospital and a Deprivation of Liberty Safeguard was taken out by the local aurhority, so that the hospital could treat her. In tehory the
DoLS ensures people who cannot consent to their care arrangements in a care home or hospital are protected if those arrangements deprive them of their liberty. Arrangements are assessed to check they are necessary and in the person’s best interests. Representation and the right to challenge a deprivation are other safeguards that are part of DoLS. this went on far too long and the only people who could over ride the situation were the relative with Lasting Power of attorney Welfare.

Nik1ta Wed 04-Feb-26 15:38:27

AGAA4

Bank accounts are frozen when a person dies to prevent fraudulent access.
That means no direct debits would be paid.

This is irrelevant on a post about lasting powers of attorney, (LPAs) because they end on the death of the donor. It is advisable for all adults to have LPAs, as even young adults could have an accident leaving them incapacitated and incapable of managing their affairs.

Primrose53 Wed 04-Feb-26 15:34:40

Delene100

crazyH

I am right in the middle of doing my POA - (1) Property and Financial and (2) Health and Welfare.
It only costs £92 each , but much more if you use a Solicitor
I have 3 children.

Please can you tell me what method you are using as I don't want to involve a solicitor. I understand you need to register the POA?

Best way is using the gov.uk site. Very straightforward. Do it online, print off forms, carefully complete (very clear instructions walk you through it) send it off to be registered and wait for the papers to be returned. Took about a month for us.

icanhandthemback Wed 04-Feb-26 15:29:29

Personally, I feel it is essential. A friend of mine was in a position where her sister was left without capacity after her ex tried to strangle her. She was then unable to care for her children, control her finances or make her own health decisions. Sadly, her family without a POA were not allowed to make decisions for her and it is up to the Office of the Public Guardian to make those decisions for her. This is very time consuming and the family are not always happy for those decisions.