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Dementia (again)

(20 Posts)
ExDancer Mon 16-Feb-26 11:53:44

Are we ever safe from developing this nightmare? I ask because a younger friend of mine told me, on my 80th birthday, that I was now immune from dementia.
I wish I believed her.

Lathyrus3 Mon 16-Feb-26 12:01:57

No, I’m f course not.

Lots of things can cause dementia.

A cluster of small bleeds in the brain (grandmother)

A blood clot in the brain (friend)

A brain tumour (mother)

A traumatic brain injury ( friend)

That’s just some Ive experience of. They can happen to anyone, any age, any time.

butterandjam Mon 16-Feb-26 12:04:25

ExDancer

Are we ever safe from developing this nightmare? I ask because a younger friend of mine told me, on my 80th birthday, that I was now immune from dementia.
I wish I believed her.

That;s bad news; her mind must be failing already.And so young.....

BlueBelle Mon 16-Feb-26 12:08:50

No one’s ever immune from dementia My Nan developed it at 83 died age 87 my mum probably around 82 and died at 90 after a horrible 8/10 years

Elusivebutterfly Mon 16-Feb-26 12:09:57

I'm not an expert, but my friend's mother developed dementia at around 90. This made me think the older you get, the more risk of developing dementia. I have seen figures suggesting 4% of under 75s, 20% at 85 and 40% at 95 suffer from dementia.

CariadAgain Mon 16-Feb-26 12:19:26

I would say it's a balance of things. Some people have a tendency (probably genetic) in the first place to it and I expect what she's talking about is the level of likelihood from genes and dementia from that probably comes on relatively earlier in life and genetic dementia will probably (I would think) come on by a particular agegroup and, if it hasnt turned up by then will probably never turn up.

On the other hand - dementia could come from an outside cause so to say and that could presumably turn up at any age.

My "Auntie Phyllis" (ie my mothers mother in actual fact) was someone I remember looking at even as a primary school age child and thinking "One of these days she's going to have that" and she did. I pretty much knew my mother was going to have it too. Both of them just got gradually more vague and it was Alzheimers.

On the other hand my father wasnt due for it - but he woke up from hours under general anaesthetic for a heart bypass and I could see the difference instantly within hours. I looked at him and thought "He's changed. He's gone from very intelligent to average. He's gone vague" and that was vascular dementia - caused by the general anaesthetic imo.

So I'd say personally it could come from either an internal source so to say or an external source. External sources can happen at any age.

pably15 Mon 16-Feb-26 12:19:37

My O.H.was diagnosed at 80, but there were signs before that, no one is immune to dementia.

Fallingstar Mon 16-Feb-26 12:25:08

My mum got early onset dementia in her early 70s, it was so unexpected that we all ignored the signs. I worry now in my mid seventies that I will be the same and constantly look for signs, have done so for years. My DH had a stroke over a year ago and I fear has got vascular dementia as well as being disabled by the stroke, I am now his full time carer and I worry a lot about what will happen if I do get dementia.

Tenko Mon 16-Feb-26 12:27:08

My mother and my late fil were both diagnosed at 90 . In both cases they’d had a hospital stay and a UTI , whether both things exasperated it . 🤷‍♀️

Usedtobeblonde Mon 16-Feb-26 12:31:07

I know two women both in their 80’s who have been diagnosed with Dementia in the last three months.
We are never safe, my H was just over 70 when I noticed the first signs.
He was in denial and remained that way until it no longer mattered, he was too far along the road to realise.
A dreadful illness.

Grantanow Tue 17-Feb-26 13:40:16

My mother demented at about 100. She died at 104.

pen50 Tue 17-Feb-26 14:51:51

We're probably more immune than previous generations, thanks to the shingles vaccination programme, but nevertheless the older you are, the more likely you are to get it, no one is guaranteed immunity, and that is simply an unfortunate fact of life. I just hope an assisted death is available for me if I do contract dementia since I don't want to put my family through that wringer.

Stillness Tue 17-Feb-26 14:54:08

Choose to believe her and aim for a balanced and happy life. You’re equally likely to become ill from other causes…

SunnySusie Tue 17-Feb-26 15:52:14

There are things you can do to lessen the risk of dementia and over 45% of cases can be prevented or delayed by taking action:

www.alzheimersresearchuk.org/dementia-information/reducing-your-risk/

Applegran Tue 17-Feb-26 16:18:54

Helpful link SunnySusie thank you. And I heard on the news that looking after your teeth is important as bacteria in your mouth can cause or contribute to many health problems including dementia and heart disease.

NanKate Wed 18-Feb-26 20:36:27

I agree pen50 if assisted death was made legal I know I would want that option. I think it is desperately cruel to keep those alive who are in the later stage of this dreadful disease. However knowing when this action could be taken is the conundrum.

crazyH Wed 18-Feb-26 20:42:20

What’s the difference between the forgetfulness of old age and dementia ? I’d love to know

Oldnproud Wed 18-Feb-26 21:00:44

My mum has started suffering from dementia at 92.

Oldnproud Wed 18-Feb-26 21:05:50

crazyH

What’s the difference between the forgetfulness of old age and dementia ? I’d love to know

Amongst other things, dementia can make a sufferer imagine and believe that dreadful things are happening around them or to them or their loved ones. It can be a living nightmare. Forgetfulness is often a relatively minor symptom of it.

pably15 Thu 05-Mar-26 14:00:38

Yes dementia is different altogether, when someone who once could cook meals, and now can't even put a pie in the oven to heat,who can't remember how to wash, who knows they need the toilet, but once they get there, they don't know what to do
so just pee the floor. At the beginning it might seem like forgetfulness, but there's a difference.