Black Dogs 29

Hi all

I feel better today but still tired. Went to see my friend and she is feeeling a bit better- and been able do a bit more .
EllieAnne - so pleased your cat has come home. I know how worried you must have been. He,s lovely.
SweetPeaSue- yes we used to love walking but I,m afraid they are more like strolls but still enjoyable. It’s the most beautiful place and don’t think we would ever tire of it. How wonderful to see the baby lambs- especially when they Boing about!!
Enjoy every minute.
HVDY- my Sister is slowly getting better but has been hampered with a sore leg from hospital stay and also a reactive rash from meds. All of which are improving now. Thank you for asking.
Doodle - glad you had a nice Sunday and enjoyed a lovely family lunch.
HVDY- more lovely times with LG. You’re all so right to play it cool with her potty training - she,ll do it when she’s ready.
Her hair is beautiful - what a gift she is.
Such a shame she suffers with asthma- my DGD2 who is the nurse was left with Asthma after bouts of Covid.
PurplePixie- gardening is so therapeutic and I,m glad you felt like getting outside. Planting is a hope for the future so hope that as your plants grow you will feel brighter.
As for Anti depressants I was like you for a long time and thought as you do. But eventually I decided to try them and I feel like HVDY . I will stay on them forever rather than feel as I did again. My children said they had got their Mum back.
It’s only a low dose but has changed my life.
Wyllow- Glad the meeting went more smoothly than you feared- I think people have his number more than you realise. Please don’t let the anger spoil the good times to come.
Glad you and your Sis are all good again- she is such a good friend to you as well as a lovely sister.
You’re right you need a day out - get in those hills again they are calling to you.
Love to all and wishing you a peaceful nightxx

EllieAnne Thank you. She's always such a happy little girl - although she was at A&E all day last Thurs til 11pm, with Asthma. She's now got 2 different inhalers. The potty-training will be easier to do in the warmer weather. At the moment, she goes hysterical when they try to put her on a potty or toilet. I'm so glad your cat is back. I've always kept mine in (Jaffa wakes me any time between 4 and 6am), but I let him use a litter tray.

Wyllow3 Spot on regarding the medication. I was told, years ago, that I had endogenous depression - a depletion of certain chemicals, although I believe the term for that now is clinical depression. No need to get dressed if you don't feel like it. Hope you and your sister are on friendly terms again.

Full day - playgroup for 2 hours, then lunch here, then softplay for 2 hours, and came home and watched Tom & Jerry, which she found interesting. Time for a rest now that LG has gone. Hope everyone has been ok x

Seed planting means being able to look forward, which is good.

But I do wonder where this fear of "being hooked" comes from" ...I mean people can and do take long term medication for a huge range of physical reasons and completely accept is as does society, including sometimes inevitable side effects.

You see, mental health meds used to be heavy handed and clumsy. Some have weathered well like lithium for bi polar disorders and it's a drug sometimes combined with anti depressants (ie, mood stabilisers).

Things have changed massively, PurplePixie.

I do think a lot of the fears come from the group of drugs called benzodiazepines. These came on board late 70's ish.

They were called "Mothers little helper" by some and handed out like sweeties. The most well known one of these is of course Diazepam. It's still a very useful drug for very short term use only, but many got hooked on these and it is very very hard to get off them.

The newer range of anti-depressants are very different. when you cease to need them you can come off slowly and the addiction effect of say diazepam is simply not there.

You can of course be psychologically addicted, ie fear of what would happen if you came off, but that's different, from a chemical addiction

So some people use the newer anti depressant to tide over a bad patch where you can feel better and get your life in order:

or stay on them because basically the brain chemicals in their own bodies are not functioning well and the anti depressants put the balance back. Especially if the depression has been very very long term. and remember, they don't work straight away, and at first its getting the dose right, tends to be a very low dose to see how it goes then put them up

Just like you need to take thyroid medication if your thyroid is not in balance.

Today I just havent got dressed. I slept better, very heavily: sunny in the garden - I went to a nice Quaker national Zoom meeting (there is one every day) and had thinks. I need a day out I think, we'll see. I had an aggressive angry exchange with my docsis late last night but we have put that right this morning. MrA - well, ideas, no urgency as it's another month now before he can turn up, needs pondering.

Yes Hvdy he’s neutered. But he insists on going out at night. I d love to know what he does.
Lg is lovely. My dgs was very late with potty training but he got there in the end.

PurplePixie I understand your reluctance to try antidepressants, but wouldn't you even consider them for the short-term? I know I'd rather take them for the rest of my days (I'm 67) than ever feel as terrible as I did without them.

EllieAnne - so pleased to hear that your cat has returned. Mine did that years ago and she smelt of leather so I think she was locked in somewhere. Such a beautiful cat.

I’ve always tried to stay away from medication just in case I get hooked on it and can’t get off it. My friend takes them and she is having her’s reduced rather than come off them straight away. Not sure if they are for me.

Feel a little brighter today and spent some time in the garden this morning and planted some seeds.

EllieAnne So pleased the cat is home. He must be hungry and tired. Has he been neutered?

Wyllow3 LG will be 3 at the end of June - not potty-trained, but that's not my problem. She was a bit late with everything, but she now talks nonstop. Glad the meeting well alright. It sounds as though it wasn't as bad as you'd feared.

LG here today. We watched Tom & Jerry whilst she ate her breakfast. She found it fascinating! Her hair is so long. Playgroup soon, then either a softplay place or park after lunch. Hope everyone manages to have a good day.

Yay!

Came in to see if there was news.

Oh EllieAnne Im so pleased for you. What a relief. X

Cat was waiting to get in this morning. He’s very hungry so I think he’s been shut in somewhere z

I mean said to the organiser about it being good for all.

Oh, Ellie Anne, yes that where I go so I will watch again on I player, Thank you! will hold you in my thoughts for a return of your furry one. I was a bit relieved to hear she has done it before, but still...do tell as soon as.

Scaredycat I think those 2 jabs together might have had a delayed reaction, they are both heavy duty. Frustrating for you, and I hope you pick up tomorrow.

Bladders can be very demanding creatures as we get older, HVDY. LG is a little shining happy light in your life. Now let me guess - is she nearly 3? I was trying to look back at BD 1 to find when it started. I'd love to be closer distance wise to rellies, I think it counts more as we get older.

How magical to see the lambs born, Sweetpeasue: priceless. May your time refresh you both - goodness knows you both needed it. I love it when the lambs do those vertical jumps.

I'm glad you had the family lunch, Doodle. Yes, it's lovely to be treated in loving company.

Quakers - strange - better than feared. It was a small meeting, maybe 10 of us? I was pretty much beside myself coming in, but the plan of us not saying anything to each other made matters easier. I cold shouldered him and got it back, but goodness me, far better than the dreaded Quaker D plan for him to speak up in worship!

Not only that, but he had plonked himself down late to Elderly QuakerP who is fond of me, and she kept him talking (she told me after) successfully. And in the meeting were 2 key women I really wanted to know. and told them, and got top feedback and warmth. One a psychologist, only comes now and then but we know each other of old, wrinkled her nose as in yuk and clearly had the view that it is never OK...
At the end MrA was making arrangements to meet one of the organisers, and afterwards I said to him, look, this isn't a good situation, is it? I want to try and repair matters by talking to MrA in safe situation.

It would be tolerable in a big meeting, just avoiding someone, but not a small one. I went away and found an email from Safeguarding lady who said yes we will arrange it "I can see you need it.

Well frankly, I thing the whole meeting needs it. but my anger wont go until time has passed and I get better nights and it is properly left behind, because the months have taken a toll on my physical health and stopped me going out and seeing topple, meeting new people building friendships, and seeing my family above all. Not easy to move on from and I want to put it right in his face.

He’s done it once before years ago for a few days. He’s microchipped.
I will put something on the local fb page tomorrow if he’s not back.

Ellie Anne I’m so sorry you must be so worried, hope he turns up soon. Lovely photo. Glad you had a visit from family.
Jonah I think you’re posting on the wrong thread. Try one of the weight loss ones.
Scaredycat sorry you’ve been so affected by the jabs. Hope you feel better after a rest.
HVDY LG must love her time with you. You always do something fun with her.
Sweetpeasue yes I had a lovely lunch with our son. I love little lambs. Sounds a nice relaxing place. Hope you enjoy it.
Busy morning at church today so nice to have someone else get my meal for me.
Wyllow I’m hoping all went well at Quakers and you’re ok

EllieAnne has your cat gone missing before? One of ours went for 5 days. I was so worried, rang every vet within 10 miles, also PDSA, council, printed flyers with his photo and details on and posted them through doors and on lampposts. I even took out an advert in the local paper. She turned up wet, cold and hungry, early one morning. I hope your cat comes home soon.

Wyllow I am watching country file and it’s in the Peak District and the high peak. Is that where you go? It’s amazing.
Still no cat.

Has anyone tried the slimming patches?

Scaredycat Oh, sorry you're not well after the jab- resting up is best thing for you right now and hope tomorrow sees uou better. I wasnt sure if to have mine so I didnt but DH has had his.
HVDY LG has had another nice day with you. Understand about bladder wakes in the night - so blooming inconvenient. Yes, newborn lambs are so sweet and it takes them so much effort to stand up. Then it seems like no time at all that they are doing little skips.

EllieAnne What a handsome boy. Is he home yet? If not, could you ask around the neighbours, go and look if he's in anyone's shed/garage? Is he microchipped? It's so worrying when they go missing.
Wyllow3 How's your day been?
ScaredyCat Have a rest, see how you are tomorrow. How's your sister getting on?
SweetpeaSue How wonderful to see lambs being born! And little fawns, too. Beautiful. Jaffa woke me at 5, so I left him downstairs and went back to bed. I always get up between 7 and 7.45 anyway - my bladder wouldn't allow me to stay in bed any longer!

LG was here until 5. We played, went to a park (where she got nice and dirty! but enjoyed herself), and had an ice cream. We didn't see Son1 and the girls - he came to borrow some of DH's tools, to do brake pads on DIL's car (he rejected DH's offer to do it at 10am, so we left him to it.

EllieAnne Oh I do hope your vat has come back by now. He looks a beautiful little thing.
Unbeknown to you I joined you for a drink last night and thought of you.
Doodle Hope you had a nice time with your son for lunch and enjoyed church this morning. I understand a little the pattern of remembering whole scenes of the before and after of those sad times when one becomes ill ( in my case , my mum, though I know it must be so different with your own DH) Hoping tonight , after your company, you can remember some of the good times. X
HVDY You are an early riser - is it Jaffa again? Have a great time with LG this afternoon. Yes, lots of lambs!
Purplepixie Hope today has felt a little better. Its ok to pop in and out or whatever you feel. We often do the same. I do feel for you with the estrangement of your DD. Its not always easy to maintain relationships with our AC when they move away I find the same.
Wyllow Hope youve managed to show the vulnerable side at your Quaker meeting. You shouldn't feel the need to cover up the hurt that Mr A caused you and the aftermath- you have been hurt so much. Sorry for your bad night - hope tonight for you is better.
Scaredycat It is such a lovely place isnt it. Did you have walking holidays here? We used to be able to walk some of the fells but have to be content now with our gentle strolls .
Yes, the nurse will get back, Im sure - I know the consultants are so busy with so many patients these days. Hope your sister is feeling much better now.

Having arrived yesterday within first few hrs saw 2 lambs being born in the field next to garden plus 2 baby deers! The deers visited over the garden wall today too. Not sure if theres anything I could put out in the space they like to come.
Had a little walk out today down the lane from back of cottage that leads through a wooded area. So quiet here. Chilly wind but I think we might be lucky with the weather later this week.

Hi all
Little post as I am not feeling too good after the jabs. I was fine til midday and had a lovely chat wit( my sister. Then tiredness overwhelmed me so just having a feet up rest.
Ellie Anne so hope your dear little cat comes home soon - you must be devastated.
Wyllow hope the meeting wasn’t as bad as you feared and mr A
Behaved .
Love to all and see you teomorrowxxxxxx

Oh Ellie Anne I'm so very very sorry, and I hope he returns soon. What a lovely chap he is. You just be very anxious x

PurplePixie, understood. They can be an umbrella to shelter under until you feel your life has improved, but it's not everyone's choice on BD's either.

It sounds like a super day to have LG and see family and my you've got going promptly, HVDY

I had a terrible night, and didnt think I would: I had to take a good chunk extra meds to sleep: well it just shows how troubled I am about today. I shall be very careful for the cheerful hiding it all Wyllow not to step in: people need to see a true state.

Hvdy he’s still not back.

EllieAnne Did your cat come back?
SweetpeaSue Hope you're both having a nice time. Many lambs around?
PurplePixie Sorry, I think I was the one who assumed you were on them. Might it be something you'd consider?

Bright and sunny morning here. Hung bedding on the line, so it should get dry today. LG here at about 12, for a few hours - parents have got a voucher for a meal somewhere. Might see Son1 and the girls this afternoon. Hope everyone has a decent day. x

Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot. A bit of a misunderstanding though - I’m not on antidepressants.