What to do when you are not needed for childcare as they get older

Sorry posted in the wrong forum

Beanstalk supports children with reading. Basically it is you, 3 children (one at at time) a box of books, twice a week. It is absorbing and rewarding, no previous teaching experience needed.

We WhatsApp them and do things like taking them to the theatre, out for a meal etc.

We have 9 so it can be hard work keeping up with them but, inevitably, contact gets less as they leave home etc.

Yes, it is inevitable, that, as they get older with busy lives, new friends and careers, we see less of them. It is normal and natural.

I agree it's inevitable and natural. I also think just as we can't build our lives entirely around our children, so it's the case, more so for grandchildren. Both are an integral part of our lives of course, but who wants to be so one dimensional that they can't define themselves beyond the role of being a professional mother or worse still a professional grandmother. What's App is great for contact imo.

Outside interests beyond the family surely , those are not just for men you know! On the subject of men, I don't think they fret so much if they don't see them constantly, although I have to say mine frets on both counts, it can be too often we do have a life you know other than being here as a hotel or So and so is very difficult to pin down for a meet up

Just do what you and they want.

Maybe a tea after school or a shopping trip at a weekend.

Perhaps keep in touch via WhatsApp.

Maybe ask parents what they think?

Just stay in touch

WhatsApp is a great way to keep in touch, share info, send photos.

Surely, your life should be much wider than just caring for Grandchildren? Great that you could provide help and support to them when they were younger, but you really do need to live your own life.
So many ways, Obviously, if you have the energy and health then there are very many charities who need people like that.
Then there are interest organisations, such u3a - where you can enjoy company of your own generations, learn some things and generally socialise.
Have a great time

I think stay well, active, interesting/interested.

Well here's a conundrum - I happily accept that the children and GC have moved on and I am no longer needed in the same way. There are a thousand and one things I would love to do now I have the freedom to do them, but am not well/fit enough.

That's what I call frustration.

Larman50 - build your own new life now and do it before you are not fit enough to! It benefits children and GC to see a grandmother who is getting on with life and for whose happiness they do not have to feel responsible - so contact is relaxed and happy.

I currently help out at Easter and Summer holidays. I live in Scotland and the grandchildren are in S E England. It won’t last forever as they grow up so quickly. I’m making the most of the time I’m with them 24/7 at these times. I must admit as they get older it gets easier however as I get older I am more tired. I really enjoy their company.

Your GC will always ga6ve happy memories of being with you and that us so important. Time now for you to you to expand your life and enjoy your time.
Your GC are now expanding their horizons- time for you to do the same !

Yes, the grandchildren growing up and moving on hurts a little in that they don't need us so much.
I was very much a surrogate Mum to my lovely granddaughter - did the bedtime routine from when she was a babe in arms. I felt incredibly privileged to give her a bath before bed, her nightime bottle of milk and sing her to sleep while her parents worked shifts.
That was frequently my role.
I'll treasure those memories.
Now, she is a teenager and has a busy life. She's lovely though and we see her for family gatherings.
Our special bond now she is 13 is the "shopping spree" and we hit the shops and get lunch together somewhere. Yes, my purse tends to be her purse but not to any silly degree and buying her the odd treat brings me pleasure.
She's still young enough to make me a silly thank you card and post it and to want to stay with me on the odd occasion work means Mum isn't around much at the weekend.
Our times together are much less frequent than they used to be and I appreciate she'll soon have a life of her own which rarely includes me, but my consolation is that the bond is strong and without knowing it, she's brought me so much joy.

My life has expanded since retirement and not having Granny duties very often.
I suppose memories have to keep us warm as we age, and they grow up.
Things can't be the same and we have to accept they move on.
I feel so much gratitude that I played a part in her young life. I feel very lucky.

If not needed for DGC care….you enjoy living your life.You were a person before you were a mother or grandmother, so get back to being that person.Indulge whatever hobbies you please, read a book or watch tv til 1 a.m if you want to, see friends, travel to visit relatives.The list is endless.
You weren’t put on this earth merely to wipe bottoms or cook for the family.