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Anyone have partner with Prostate cancer

(65 Posts)
valeriej43 Sat 24-Feb-18 21:53:07

My partner has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer
Just wondered if anyone had experience of treatments etc, and after effects,

OldMeg Sat 24-Feb-18 22:26:18

Valerie so sorry. I’m sure if you post again in the morning you will get many more replies. My DH doesn’t have prostate problems but the husband of my best and longest standing friend did.

He has treatment which involved inserting some tiny gold beads into the affected area of the protrate which they acted as a guide for targeting the cancer using radiotherapy. I didn’t get all the ins and outs (you don’t like to pry) but I do know it was cured and all subsequent scans have been clear.

Hope that helps a little to reassure you

Crafting Sat 24-Feb-18 22:35:22

Yes. My DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer over 13 years ago. He was offered chemo or radiotherapy or watch and wait or surgery. He decided he did not want to just live with it and see what happened so made the decision to have his prostate removed. Thankfully after his op they said the cancer was contained within the prostate and had not spread. He is fine. I think treatment has improved considerably in the last few years and the surgery is less invasive.
I am so sorry valerie that you and your partner have this worry but there is a lot they can do these days. I hope your partner has a good outcome whatever he decides to do flowers

Thebeeb Sat 24-Feb-18 22:41:31

My husband also just diagnosed and been offered watch and wait hours, radiotherapy or removal. Has opted for watch and wait at the moment. Will just have to see how it goes,

Thebeeb Sat 24-Feb-18 22:43:29

Don’t know where the rogue word ‘hours’ appeared from. Please ignore it.

valeriej43 Sat 24-Feb-18 23:59:21

Thank you all who have replied, he has gone through months of tests, from about last July onwards, admitted to hospital as an emergency with an infection, and then got sepsis,at the end of May
They discovered then he had an enlarged prostate, so has had numerous tests and MRIs. bone scans, 2 biopsies, the last being through the perineum which they said showed a shadow, but he wont find out the details until the 5th , so at the moment doesnt know what treatment he will be offered
I have read about the radioactive seeds they implant, but has been told he will go for treatment to Castle Hill Hospital in Hull, so the urologist must have an idea of what might be needed.which i blieve is the main one for radiotherapy and chemo, although our local one does chemo and is almost across from where he lives, ]we dont live together] around the corner from each other

rubysong Sun 25-Feb-18 03:27:18

My DH had his prostate removed in October and at the follow up meeting we were told it was quite an aggressive cancer and had reached the border of the tissue which was removed. His next appointment is in March when we should know if he needs and further treatment. You will probably be given some leaflets which will tell you in detail what to expect regarding recovery from any treatment. Castle Hill is a good place to go. Sister in law was treated there for breast cancer some years ago (and is fine). We are also impressed with the care DH is getting here in the South West.

valeriej43 Sun 25-Feb-18 09:17:14

rubysong thank you. we will just have to wait and see what is suggested i expect, ita a puzzle why its taken so long to find did your DH have to go through so many tests etc for so long, this seems to be in a place which was hard to find, dont know if its maybe in his lymph nodes because they were mentioned, which might make it more difficult to treat, and did he in general feels well, you wouldnt think there was anything wrong with him really,or maybe it just doesnt affect anyone like that
I suppose people can have cancer without knowing

GrannieBabi Sun 25-Feb-18 09:31:23

Yes - you can have pc without knowing it - my husband was diagnosed 5 years ago with an aggressive form but he wasn't really having symptoms. The most difficult thing we found was deciding on which treatment to go for, especially as some have difficult to deal with side effects. His instinct was for surgery but on advice he opted for radiotherapy and hormone treatment and has now been off any type of treatment for 2 years. Pretty sure we made the right decision. He is still having PSA tests every 6 months and every time they come round it is a worry but so far he is doing OK. Treatments are advancing all the time. Wishing you all the best.

chelseababy Sun 25-Feb-18 10:17:54

My OH has recently been diagnosed. He couldn't have surgery without losing 20k which wasn't going to happen so opted for radiotherapy. He has just started on hormone injections and will be going to Addenbrookes in May for radiotherapy. Prostate cancer uk has a good website and specialist nurses you can ring. There is a Facebook group for partners of those affected and also local support groups in some areas.

nigglynellie Sun 25-Feb-18 10:30:56

My DH had Prostate Cancer seven years ago and had his prostate out, but had one positive margin. For five years he was fine, but since then his PSA has started to rise and we are expecting to have to go for further treatment at some stage. The three monthly PSA tests are a worry, but we always say, we are so lucky to have our free health service and the wonderful treatments available. Try not to worry too much, you're in good hands!! flowers

Maggymay Sun 25-Feb-18 10:35:57

DH was diagnosed 8 years ago and went on active surveillance and was monitored with biopsies and MRI scans eventually after 5 years his PSA level rose and he was given HDR Brachytherapy worked well PSA level is now normal just has 6 monthly checkups.

NonnaW Sun 25-Feb-18 10:39:49

DH was diagnosed 2-3 years ago, had all the tests ( MRI, bone scan) and had the aforementioned gold seeds, radiotherapy (at Addenbrookes, brilliant staff) and hormone treatment. His PSA is now 0.01 and we are on 6 monthly appointments. Fingers crossed, all is going well.

Anannymous Sun 25-Feb-18 10:40:36

My husband was diagnosed 6 years ago following routine PSA test which was very slightly raised. He was initially offered the choice of surgery or to just monitor but his Gleeson score showed one of the areas was a slightly higher grade so it was recommended he have surgery. After the surgery, which was done by robotic surgery, he was uncomfortable for a couple of weeks but since then has been fine. He was discharged from hospital after 3 years and just has 6 monthly psa tests at the gp, which have been fine so far.

Esspee Sun 25-Feb-18 10:57:45

Sorry to hear that Valerie. flowers
My late husband had prostate cancer so I'll quickly cover the most important things I learned as a result.
Roughly speaking there are two variants. Apparently most previously assumed healthy elderly men autopsied have prostate cancer to some degree. This type is very slow growing and death usually has other unrelated causes e.g. Heart attack. Mostly these men are put on watchful waiting where the PSA is monitored to ensure that it doesn't change into the aggressive form. Normally you have to wait three months between PSA tests so that the rate of change can be worked out before they decide on treatment. If the PSA is extremely high or the change over 3 months is significant then it is probably the aggressive type and aggressive treatment will be required.
My husband believed that illness and going to the doctor is a sign of weakness so by the time he was diagnosed it had spread out of the prostate which is why the treatments offered to him were palliative. I have since spoken to many men (friends and family) urging them to have a PSA test done and two were diagnosed with PC. Both involved me in their treatment decisions and I " hand held" them through the process. Medicine changes rapidly so I want it to be clear that I am now talking about 10 years ago and both men had PC in their prostate only. After much research R and I decided on Brachytherapy. Small radioactive pellets are injected into the prostate. The radiation kills off the cancer in a limited area over the next three months or so. Involves an overnight stay in hospital, bruising and some discomfort. R is alive and well with no further problems ten years later. With D I didn't need to research. Recommended Brachytherapy and he is alive and well 8 years later. Both have no side effects whatsoever, neither bladder or sexual function.
There will have been advances over the last 10 years and new treatments so do discuss it with the cancer specialist who is the very best person to advise you. You are wise to ask others of their experiences so that you can go to appointments with a list of questions.
Please feel free to PM me if you wish. Always happy to help. I like to feel that though my husband died, his death has resulted in other men being spared the same fate.

valeriej43 Sun 25-Feb-18 11:38:02

Thanks all, after the inyitial infection,he had a prostate shave then all other tests followed
I have looked on the Prostate UK site whicj is very informative, and lots of personal stories too
Typically men are loathe to go to the Drs and will suffer instead,
Typically men are loathe to go to the Drs, and would rather suffer in denil
He should have learned by now,as he had bowel cancer 10 years ago [before i knew him] and it had got to stage 4, before he admitted something was wrong,he is very lucky to be still here. his prostte was huge, when he was examined
Our local hospital has been brilliant though and kept on with tests,and kept him informed

valeriej43 Sun 25-Feb-18 11:42:02

Espee thank you for the offer to pm you, i might need to at some point
Waiting for 5th now, to see what stage its at and exactly where
The seed option sounds good, to me but at the moment i dont think he realises he might have a choice of treatments

Esspee Sun 25-Feb-18 11:46:27

Men seem to be more concerned about losing their masculinity than the prospect of losing their life Valerie.
With luck he has "old man's" prostate cancer at an early stage so do keep positive.

valeriej43 Sun 25-Feb-18 14:29:34

Yes Espee you are right, but hopefully any treatment will be something that can save their masculinity too,
Whatever treatment they have their life has got to be the priority hasnt it
We are both in 70s, and only been together a few months, as intimate partners, but known each other for almost 2 years, so it is something we have discussed
Just a shame it has happened at his time

POGS Sun 25-Feb-18 17:26:31


My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year and I understand , as do other GN'ers, where you and your partner are in the scheme of things but having gone through the MRI , scans and biopsies he underwent sessions of Radiotherapy and has now a PSA Level of 1.

He was unfortunate however as the radiotherapy gave him bowel and bladder spasms which caused him excrutiating pain but he has no long lasting problems and I guess accepted that everybody is different and some will fair better than others and some much worsewhen undergoing treatment. He was concerned some time after his sessions had finished to find blood in his urine but he was assured that this was quite normal and when you consider the amount of biopsies 'snips' he had taken sometimes this can cause a few issues but not a concern and it has stopped, maybe to return who knows?

I think you can only put your faith in the hands of your partners consultant and I have to speak as we find the care from the NHS he has recieved has been examplary and I wish you and your partner well for the future.

KatyK Sun 25-Feb-18 18:26:28

Valerie My DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2014. He underwent various scans and a biopsy. Fortunately it had not spread elsewhere and he was given hormone injections and then 37 consecutive days of radiotherapy. He is fine. He has to go back to have his PSA levels checked once a year and the last one his PSA was down to 0, which is fantastic. He was fortunate that he had no side effects whatsoever from any of the treatments. I wish they would test men for this as a matter of course. Wishing you well.

valeriej43 Sun 25-Feb-18 18:30:19

Thank you so much * POGS* i have read up a lot on the side effects and after effects more than he has, i think its usual for people to not want to know anymore than they think they need to
I am sorry your husband had those pains, its a good thing there is more more publicity now about PC
He will maybe have an idea of the side effects and after effects having gone through Chemo before, not sure if he had radiotherapy or not, will ask him
I have 3 sons of the age that should be tested, and i keep reminding them
I am pleased your husband has come through it ok
I am with you on the exemplary treatment of the NHS they have been brilliant
Such a shame its in the mess its in now , and might be even worse the way things are going
I have had several appointments cancelled and reappointed and cancelled again, luckily not that serious

harrigran Wed 28-Feb-18 23:55:32

Yes and spread beyond the gland, treatment of symptoms and hormone injection only. The side effects of the drugs are as you would expect but you live with it, better than the alternative.

NannyDee Thu 01-Mar-18 08:02:49

My OH was diagnosed with bowel cancer and prostate cancer in November. He had his colon removed 6 weeks ago and is having hormone treatment for the prostate. The bowel surgery went well and chemo for the prostate was ruled out as the negatives outweighed the positives and it was contained within the gland. He is having regular blood tests and check ups and we are hopeful that he will continue to make good progress.

silverlining48 Thu 01-Mar-18 08:59:20

My husband at age 70 was diagnosed with intermediate pc 8 months ago, on a only slightly raised psa and was given the choice of either surgery or radiotherapy. INitially we decided on radio but looking at it more closely surgery seemed to leave more treatment options if needed later so He chose surgery. He is still mildly incontinent but dealing with it. He has blood tests and attends hospital every 3 months.

All men should get checked. Mine only went because I made an appointment for him following the pc diagnosis of a good friend.
Hope all goes well Valerie. There is plenty of advice out there and many gnetters will respond I am sure.