Moving on

A lovely friend of mine has lived in france for 20 years, on the border between the Loire Atlantique and la Vendee. Her son married a french girl and her brother moved out as well and they all live only a few miles from her - but she was still torn as to whether she should return here as she still has family she misses and she is finding the journey over harder each year. She is a good bit older than me, in her mid 70s. She put her house up for sale five years ago - nothing. One viewer in all that time, and her house is lovely. We went to stay with her a year later and my husband did odd jobs while my son and I tackled her garden to make it a bit smarter. My OH suggested that she should divide the house and garden in half. She had plans drawn up and worked out that it was afordable, and the estate agent confirmed that it would be far more sense financially, in fact she would make far more money per house if she were to sell it as two separate dwellings. She went ahead with the work and the new house she created sold straight away - in fact there was a waiting list as soon as the plan was announced. We went to stay with her again last summer and she still has enough bedrooms to put us all up, her kitchen is vast, she has an enormous sitting-room and atelier, although she had to halve her beloved conservatory. Still plenty of parking and garden, but at least she now knows that if she should choose to move, next time her house will sell far more easily. It was simply too big for any locals to want it before. She also has the added bonus of a lovely french family living next door, so company if she wants it.

Hi Mamie have you had any interest in your house from buyers yet?Have you thought about advertising your house in the UK, as lots of people here do buy houses in France, and may prefer to deal with British people who are selling?

Ahaha he is a wild mushroom fan like me (I learnt all about wild mushrooms with dad as a small kid).

Arthritis and all that- and distance from daughter- which is why I mentioned Stansted/Cambridge/Wellingborough area for quick access to M11 and Kent (off peak) and good trains to London and Ashford and good airport links.

We actually have a flat a bit further north in Market Harborough, and we just love this little market town- with very fast and frequent trains to St Pancras and then the EuroStar (and Ashford Kent). Property is very reasonable there compared to Kent- lovely villages and rolling hills + plenty of mushrooms (parasols, bluelegs, bluewitts, ink caps, horse and St Georges mushrooms and many more - sorry no morels or ceps).

Well if I gave OH half a chance he would be off back up to his native Yorkshire, but our compromise solution would more likely be the New Forest, near where we used to live and where he can go back to spending days finding mushrooms!
I keep telling him that northerly winds would be worse for the arthritis.

JessM, sorry had not seen your post about daughter 'wanting or not wanting' things. She does want them- not daft things like coats or nick nacks but heirlooms, some of which are quite valuable (like Limoges dinner set, and antique furniture and books, clocks, etc) but also very old family photos, documents and letters, etc. Problem is she does not have the space in their current home (and hope they can move to larger home one day..)- or even take over our very old house here and keep everything there. We have a very large property, but in a very cheap area compared to UK, especially Surrey where she lives! In the meantime, keeping all the stuff is not a problem as we ahve the space.

Just wondering if you woud not get so much more for your money going a bit further North up the M11- still about 1 hour from daughter providing you avoid peak times- and not too far from Stansted if you want to fly for holidays?

Thank you rosesarered. We sold £100 worth of books and gave a lot more to charity on our visit to the UK, so that felt good! Sadly the housing market just seems to get worse and worse here. We can tell from the website stats that hardly anyone is even looking.

Good luck mamie hope that you sell soon, it's hard to rest easy once the house is on the market, wherever you are. You are right, houses in UK are not viewed in same way as France and it's all so expensive here in UK as well. We made the move from Devon to near Oxford [MUCH dearer here] so once we had sold the house had to heap some savings in to buy the house here.We can downsize slightly in the future should we need to, but hope we can stay here for good now. We did a big cull of both books and objects not needed and felt much better for it.The children were asked if they wanted anything [and if they did they had to take it] not hanging onto things in case they want them in the future.They all had their own houses, so it was up to them, we are not a furniture and goods depository!Hope you find some thing nice here near your daughter.

Mamie your planned next phase sounds very attractive. Spain and in winter? What's not to like.

You are in the heart of WW2 country there, that's for sure. I would have thought if the local library don't want them, some institution in Caen might.

Thanks Tricia. We are donating our WW2 Normandy campaign books to the local library. The thing is that there are about 8000 books in all. Some have some value so we will definitely sell those. I offload quite a few onto the book club too. I think we might sell what we can and then offer them to the English department at the university; the big sections are history, biography and travel. The trouble is that people take what they want and then you get left with the rest. We have put some in the recycling, but it hurts!

Hoping you find a buyer sooner than you expect, Mamie. As someone said, near to the ferry is a good position.
As you know we're in France too, but in the SW. At one time we were thinking of trying to sell and return, but latest is that we're staying here until one of us pops their clogs. But could change. Most of the family is scattered world-wide - if they were in the UK it would be different.
Our house is small and the garden still manageable.
About your books - the library in our nearest market town has an english section and welcomes donations of books.

Mamie when we came back from Spain 5 yrs ago now we where very lucky to find a buyer for our villa very quickly compared to some properties that where on the market and during the time the sale was going through we spent many happy Sunday's at a local Rastero selling off things we had amassed over our 10yrs away and we found that the time passed quite quickly really you will be surprised what you find in those outhouses,we donated a lot of books to the local English school so I knew they went to a good home it was about the time e-books where becoming popular.Very best of luck with your sale and relocation.

Indeed Jess, or as OH said, have I enough years left to read this book again? I just hope the market for second-hand books hadn't collapsed completely.
I do think that a lot of my leisure activities are much more focussed on my Kindle and ipad now, replacing a lot of stuff that we used to have. Not sure if this makes me a saddoh or not?
We got rid of a lot of stuff when we moved here from England, but having cellar, barn and potting shed is very clutter inducing. I can feel lots of vide grenier days coming on (French version of car boot sales).

Good luck Mamie - life is one big adventure so grab each opportunity by the horns, give it a good rattle and see what happens !

Good luck mamie - lovely part of the world and envy inducing garden.
We decanted ourselves from a roomy 5 bedroomed house to a 2 bedroomed flat this year. See my decluttering triumph thread. It is worth doing. You learn to be firm with yourself and to "let go" some of those possessions. "Am I ever going to read that book again?" etc One of the unexpected side effects is that I have finally lost nearly all interest in shopping. There is a cute gift shop opposite my flat and I have yet to cross its threshold. Things? They are not what really matters. The emotional attachments we have to them are, ultimately, meaningless.
granjura if your daughter wants things then can't she have them - or is it the case that she doesn't really want them?
I have an older relative who has a flat in London and a cottage elsewhere. Cottage stuffed with things she is not allowed to throw away including an old coat that was demoted to a car blanket 45 years ago...
One of the things that struck me forcibly while struggling through the big declutter was just how difficult it would be to do it alone and/or in poor health or spirits.

Such a big decision, Mamie , wishing you all the very best.

It will be hard, Mamie but you are wise to think the way you do. Our move was not such a big one, but the decluttering was tough - we did it over about a year, I think. We only downsized a little, but one of the considerations was that this was a planned move at a time when we could easily cope with it, rather than a crisis move. DD is just across the river, and we are enjoying each other's nearness immensely. We feel safe, knowing that should we need it, help is nearby. And we are very happy.

I wish you well! GNetters were so supportive during my various rants and rages over the selling and moving process.

Whoops, thank you not than you. Such lovely supportive messages from everyone.

Than you. Yes ffinnochio, we are taking that long view too (at least trying to, I am by nature impatient). We won't do it this year, but if we are still here next year we shall also look at spending a good chunk of the winter in Spain. Come the spring, I look around me and think that there is nowhere I would rather be, but when I am slaving over the stacking of the log pile in summer or contemplating the dark winter days as I am now, I realise that something has to change in the next few years. My OH is very happy here, but is suffering more and more with arthritis pain, especially in winter. We are lucky to have a warm house, good friends in our local community and the freedom to travel when we want; there are so many here struggling without enough money and without the language too.
The housing market is worrying, but I am always amazed by how houses hang around and then suddenly sell after years. I think people just don't have the same view of property as a capital asset, which makes it so different from the English market.

La Suisse Normande is a lovely area Mamie and I think it may be to your advantage selling a property within easy reach of UK as this means you could have potential buyers from both countries..

After 10 years, we sold our house in The Var and as you mention, 2 years can be a normal wait until you find a buyer. We were very surprised though, when, after only 4 months, our house was sold. Sincerely hope you have the same experience. Bonne chance.

Mamie It's a tough decision isn't it. We're taking a very long view because of the dire housing market. It will be a wrench eventually, but I know I need to get back to my roots eventually. Who knows when that will be.
We've had the house on the market now for a year (we've taken a long 3 year look at selling) - but it is very unsettling at times.
I think we are asking a reasonable price for what we have to offer, but it's a buyers market as you're aware, and prices are becoming more and more depressed - jumping back into the uk market will be very difficult financially if we 'give it away'.
It's certainly been a clarifying time. It's beautifully peaceful here, so continue to enjoy it whilst we can. Day at a time stuff. The hardest part will be leaving some very good friendships ..... but not yet awhile...
I do wish you luck!

Merci Granjura. We will probably go to Tunbridge Wells where our daughter is. It is, of course, one of the most expensive parts of the UK, so our big property here will get us a two-bedroomed flat if we are very lucky! We will aim to spend the winters in Spain though.

Aghhh thinking of you. We are in the same position in many ways, house far too big, large garden and land, and far too much furniture and stuff, so much inherited from generations- and with strict orders from one daughter not to get rid of anything or else. For the time being, we intend to stay, and then get help in if necessary- although so far we are coping very well.

it is such a wrench- so I really feel for you. Where abouts in the UK will you be headed? La Suisse Normande is lovely- as you know we live in Suisse Romande, and it is quite different in the Jura mountains. Thinking of you and bonne chance.

What a difficult decision for you - but sometimes it is necessary to bite the bullet. Being near your children will be the pay-off for leaving somewhere you have become attached to. Good luck with it all.