The Cadaver Under the Settee.

What a laugh this thread is. I think I may have mentioned this before, but here goes. I'm in bed with a chest infection, Mr iam is away for the week, all children now left home. I stagger downstairs, let the 3 dogs into the back garden, apologising for the lack of walk that day. The two huge labradoodles find a rat, dying from poison put down by the rat man (I had hens at the time..) The dogs gleefully chase around, throwing the rat to each other, throwing it in the air, and generally having a ball. The old dog looks at them with disdain, and comes in. I put on wellies, a coat and hat, and go into the garden, my voice is very weak due to sore throat. I shout, drop it, several times. The foster dog gets spooked (I don't shout a lot) and gallops into the house, rat in her mouth. I managed to stop her in the utility, and told her 'drop it', which she did. The rat lay on the floor, twitching. I am completely hopeless on the rat front. I locked the dogs in the kitchen, and peered over the door, the rat is still twitching. My imagination went wild, I imagined it recovering, and sneaking under the door into the house. I'd then be trapped, with a rat in the house. I ran across the road to our new neighbour, a retired policeman who was in his garden. I asked him if he'd help me, as I couldn't possibly pick up a not quite dead rat. He looked crestfallen, and said he was terrified of rats. However, his training must have kicked in, he donned my thick gardening gloves, and put the (now dead) rat in to 2 thick black bin liners. I put them in the greenhouse, and the lovely rat man came and took the rat away the next morning.

- my neighbour is very generous when feeding the wild birds, and lots of seed is left on the ground which she sweeps up now and again. However, the inevitable happened and a rather fat rat was seen last summer. The rat-man was called in and lectured 'A' on the amount of bird food that was left lying, saying that she must stop feeding them - at least for a while until the rat was caught. The rat-trap was laid....and we all waited with baited (pun!) breath for the creature to be caught. It avoided the trap and was last seen LEAPING down the garden pursued by A's son-in-law who was wielding a spade slamming the ground with it and swearing at each slam, as the rat leapt along, disappearing into the field at the bottom of the garden! What made it so funny to watch was that A's son-in-law is a very quiet, studious young chap, who hardly utters a word.....!

Fabulous Merelli. I had been fanatical about rat prevention strategies, due to having hens and feeding the birds. Our problem followed a period of very heavy rain, flooding drains and rats coming over land. Yuk. Since the, I bring in bird feeders at dusk, and the hens were re-homed recently so a Man Shed could be put in their place.

I had one living in an incinerator next to my bird table. I tried throwing water in the incinerator and then hitting the rat with a spade when it ran out but it didn't work [they can move VERY fast even when wet].

Not a rat story although my father did kill a rat with a direct hit with a Wellington boot. The children had a budgie and it was supposed to teach them responsibility etc. one day I noticed it was quiet. It wasn't quiet it was desiccated. Still feel bad.

I noticed Tara my cat struggling to get in the cat flap a couple of years ago. Thankfully she did not manage because she had a rat in her mouth, thankfully dead. It was so kind of her to obey orders for the first time in her life. I told her to "drop it" and she did. There is waste land near by so I am afraid I put the rat in a bucket and then threw it out of the bucket as far as I could. Hopefully a fox would eat it.

I'm finding it quite hard to read this thread as I have a complete phobia when it comes to rodents
When DD1 was a baby and we lived in a cottage out in the sticks, I opened the washing machine powder drawer to find a mouse curled up in a nest. I shut it quickly, then screamed, then panicked, then phoned DH at his office in London. Surprisingly, he didn't rush home to help - you can imagine his reaction! I avoided the kitchen all day and when DH returned, the mouse of course had disappeared into the machine through the pipes. He had the whole thing apart - the nest had been made from the instructions which were stuck to the inside of the lid. We put it on a couple of empty washes but the mouse never materialised. Just before we moved from this house, there was a horrible smell in the sitting room. I put it down to baby vomit on the carpet, but when the furniture was moved the carcasses of 3 large mice were found under the bookcase and another under the sofa in a state of not quite decomposition . I have actually sold a house because we had rats in the garden! So silly, as I know we are never more than 6' away from them - I just prefer not to see them.

Gally - I share that ridiculous rat phobia with you.

Did you rat phobics ever read the end of 1984 by any chance?

Nellie, must you?

It was a bit naughty! #hangsheadinshame.

Nellie - just don't even say the word. My grandsons had pet rats years ago. They were allowed to play out on the floor, and were (alleged) to be very tame. I always knocked loudly on the door, and the boys would shout 'lock up the rats, it's grannie" - horrible things.

I've had lots of rats over the years and they've all been darlings. My son had three that lived in his bedroom. Sadly his girlfriend will only let him have a hamster now, which is rather boring in comparison.

I've wanted a pet rat since I saw one sat next to it's owner at the vets years ago. But I don't think anyone I know would look after it when I was away.

Ok Deedaa - as someone who has too many dogs at any one time, I accept I shouldn't impose my rat phobia on others. Tegan, I still couldn't look after yours though, should you get a pet *.

We had cats for years, and where you have cats you get ..... MICE! Lots of them.We have chased so many around the house, some we caught some we didn't. A dead and just decomposing mouse smells like a gas leak, quite horrible.We used to have a bed years ago that had space underneath [like all beds used to have] and being at work all day I didn't often bother to hoover under it. One day I did, no mice thankfully BUT a whole lot of little clawed feet and beaks! They went rattling into the hoover and stopped it working.The cat had been bringing birds into the house and scoffing them under our bed.Nice.

A friend wondered what the awful smell was in her house. She only found the source when she put her foot into a wellington boot on top of a decomposing mouse. One day, just as we returned from a holiday in my son's family caravan, a neighbour came round in a great tizz. She had managed to vacuum up a mouse which was still running around inside her Dyson. DS obligingly took it down the bottom of the garden and released it in the chicken run. Chickens have been known to eat mice though I don't know if this mouse had that fate!

I Love that Marelli. Not least because it is gratifying to know that I am not the only one who doesn't regularly move heavy furniture to clean beneath it!

Marelli, would that be the settee that I sat on?

I once rescued a shrew from our cats anno and let it go in our field - where it was immediately gobbled up by one of the chickens!
It may not concern a cadaver but my daughter's boss stepped in something soggy on Boxing Day morning only to realise that it was the rind from the joint of gammon. The rest of the gammon had been eaten by the siamese.

Typical Johnny Foreigner! Coming over here and helping themselves to our rations!

Number, it was.......! There's every chance that the corpse was hardly cold while you were sipping your tea.......!!!

Katy - I don't even move light furniture to hoover underneath it!!

If there was a bit of a niff, I do hope that you didn't think it was DH or me, number....!