Could you build a (really solid - bricks?) base for it and use it as a garden table? Or incorporate it into a water feature, maybe propped up at 45 degrees with water cascading down over it into a pool? Or fix it standing upright, partly buried, as garden sculpture?
It sounds too good to waste. If you can't use it at all, you could advertise it on Gumtree (charging something) or Freecycle (free) emphasising that it is "buyer collects". Someone will have a good use for it.
Legal ban on smartphones, schools in England
A famous matador gored by bull!
