To move or not to move

Thank you NotTooOld - glad to be of help! I am a Granny not a Grandad and we live on the SE Hampshire coast - not lovely Devon!!

Dear Gagagran, what a sensible lady (or gentleman?) you sound to be. I like your point about having had some enjoyable years with the DGC, even if they do have to move elsewhere eventually. That's a point of view I had not considered, so thanks for that. I'm so glad you are enjoying your time in glorious Devon.

How good are you at making friends in a new area. Have you moved before or have you spent all your life/married life in one place.

DF was in the army for over 20 years so he and DM were well used to digging up their roots, moving on and starting again. When they retired they researched the area they were moving to in great detail and pulled out of one purchase because they couldn't find enough to interest them in the locality.

When they did settle they were very sure about what they were doing and for 25 years had a busy and active retirement with a large group of friends.

If you can, rent for at least six months, preferably a year and make sure you can be really happy in the area on your own, even if your children move on.

GrannyAIt's one of those ancient problems that the Powers That Be say they'll change, but then don't! Sounds as though your DD & I were lucky to have solicitors who were on the ball - a lot of people have been caught out and have had to sell their homes in order to raise the money to pay for church repairs! Seems unbelievable , but I remember reading about them only a few years ago.

MiniMouse the house my daughter eventually bought is liable for chancel repair and she was advised to take out insurance on purchase.

As well as flood maps, it's a good idea to have a Chancel search done before you commit to buying - you can get an indemnity to cover yourself, I had to do that a few years ago.

Same here, grannyactivist.
When we were going to buy a guest house in York, we told my parents where it was, and my dad said the car park behind it regularly flooded.
We bought one between the two rivers, but not with a view of them.
The one we were thinking of buying flooded in 2000.
We were very lucky there, and have looked at flood maps ever since.

Google street view is a good tool. You can not only see the rest of the street, but also go round the block and see what a house backs on to. Saves time by not going to see unsuitable houses.

We've just been to see one where the garage on the picture was not the one for the house. The real garage was round the corner, in another street! x

durhamjen - good point. We did that for a house our daughter was ready to put an offer in for and sure enough it was in an area liable to flood under certain conditions. The house she eventually bought is on a hill.

Check the Environment Agency flood maps as well.
You do not want to move to an area that regularly floods.

That's a good point NotTooOld and one which we discussed with DD and although she thinks they are settled here for the long term, if circumstances change and they do move, well we shan't upsticks again.

We shall have had these lovely years watching the DGC growing up and seeing a lot of them and we love being by the sea and living in this present house. It is worth making a pluses and minuses list and to try and think of all the "must haves" and "would be nice to haves" too before taking the plunge.

Hello Emelle and welcome to gransnet.
Buying the local newspaper (often found online for free) is a good way of getting a feel for a place before you buy. When I returned to Manchester many years ago, having been brought up there and moved away, I found some amazingly large houses that were fantastic prices and reasonably close to one of my brothers - happily my brother was able to tell me that the area was a noted haunt of prostitutes and probably not the best place to move to with my three young daughters.
Before moving to my present home in Devon we bought the local newspaper for months beforehand and so when we arrived I already knew quite a lot about the various schools, community groups, activities and yes, the people.

I agree. The research is all important. One word of warning - don't assume your daughter/son will not move one day from the area you have recently moved to. It would be unfair to expect them to stay around just because you moved to be near them. I think you should choose to move somewhere that YOU want to be, as moving to be near children puts unfair pressure on them in times to come. My parents moved from London to Kent to be near us and then, due to redundancy, my then husband and myself had to move to the Midlands, thus abandoning my poor parents in Kent. They never complained but I felt terribly guilty about the whole thing - and still do even after 30 odd years.

I's great to hear success stories, which has inspired me enough to start sprucing the house ready for a valuation. We are fairly sure one daughter is settled permanently. Our other daughter is currently on an ex pat assignment overseas but our proposed move would get us nearer to Manchester airport. As we commute weekly including an overnight stay to look after the GDs, we can go the opposite way when required to look after GS and visit other relatives. So much to think about but I really appreciate all the comments!

We moved to the south coast in June 2012 to be near DD and her 2 DGC, after making lots of visits, and have never regretted it. We planned it carefully - made sure we knew the area best suited to our needs now and in the future and researched activities that we like to follow. We found a dormer bungalow 1 mile from DD and 1 mile from the sea and hope we never need to move again. It suits us down to the ground. We both joined things and have active lives following our interests.

Yesterday we met up for a family lunch at a lovely pub in the South Downs and looking round the table at my DD and SiL and DGC I thought how glad I was that I overcame my misgivings about moving to be near to them and did it.

Go for it pompa the pluses far outweigh the minuses but make sure you do the research first is my advice.

Sorry about DD pompa - hope you will be able to find a good place to move to in Leicestershire.

Sorry to hear about your daughter's break-up, pompa. She will be lucky to have you and Mrs P. I really loved Leicestershire where we lived for a few years when the boys were young. My mum was born there and a horde of my ancestors are buried there. I felt very much at home and hope you will too.

Indeed pompa be very glad to show you round my bit of Leicestershire. We are very happy here in a small market town with every amenity, lots of clubs and societies and not too far from major centres if we need them, close to major roads and it has a mainline railway station. We moved to the Yorkshire Dales on retiring as it was somewhere we went several times a year on holiday. It didn't work out it was too rural for us but we are back to visiting it a couple of times a year for the walking and to see friends.

Leicestershire will welcome you pompa. Sorry to hear about your daughter!

Looks like good advice here Emelle. Welcome to GN if you are new!

pompa sorry to hear your daughter and her partner are splitting up.

The time for us to move to Leicestershire is fast approaching. Our daughter looks like she will split up with her partner, if she does, we will surely move close to help support her (she has 2 young children). Had hoped to stay where we are for a good while yet, but needs must.

Falconbird I would love to live in a flat for practical reasons now, at 50 years old as I am disabled and find the stairs hard work these days but when moving a few months ago, my DS still wanted to live in a house so we came to this one. When he has left and found his feet, I will probably do the move to the flat although I will miss my garden then if I get one without. My dad is going into an extra care facility where you have your own flat but also have community rooms and food cooked for you etc. It sounds wonderful as he will have company. I think I will join him there when my son moves as I will go crazy on my own I'm sure.

The idea of renting for a while is a good idea Emelle if you don't know the area that well but it does sound like you do so do some good research into the type of things you enjoy. I looked at library, shops, cafes, parks, market, take aways, restaurants, closeness to motorway, countryside, family. We have a shop which sells most things 100 yards away. We have a lodge and two parks on the doorstep to walk the dog. Shops a street away and restaurants and a now favourite cafe a short car journey away. The library here has not been closed down and so will be frequented like the last one until cuts shut it down. Family came from this area so I know it well although I have no friends here yet but it will come in time, I am just enjoying the newness of a fresh place.

If you are going close to family and know the area, just put feelers out in the estate agents around the area. Put yourself on the mailing list or keep on at them for new property as it seems to go quick if it's a good buy. Take some tips off the property programmes or look up tips online. I hope you find the perfect home for you and your DH. Good luck.

As I've posted elsewhere I moved house 3 times last year when my DH died.

I now live in a ground floor flat - so no stairs to fall down.

My nearest shop is 5mins away where I can buy milk, bread, eggs etc., and I am within walking distance of the doctor dentist and a Morrison's.

I also live about 20 mins walk away from my batchelor son.

I did rent for 8 months to get my senses together and that is a good idea except that rent does eat alarmingly into your capital. My rent was £800 per month.

I think the flat is a bit old for me just yet - being 68 and in reasonable health but I think it will be perfect as the years go by.

A few years ago we bought a house in the place we wanted to retire to. The DCs were single, travelling the world.

Fast forward and we are ready to sell the family home. The DCs have families and live within 10 miles of the family home! We are still going to move, but are buying a holiday home to be near them if needed.

It goes to show that you can make plans, which don't always work out as you expect! x

Are your daughters likely to stay put where they are?