Retirement apartment

My mum was thinking of doing this 2 years ago, downsizing!! and moving into sheltered housing [but she could not take here beloved dog with her, i just could not let that happen]

I promised her husband my dad that i would look after her, after 2 years of hard work we have just finished a lovely granny annex, cost a few bob mind you!

Have you thought of doing this at all?

Just an idea!

That was great reading all your comments !
We too have given thought to down sizing !
But having looked at two different sites of apartments and portable style , also two caravan style homes, I decided that these would be impossible for me to live in...for all the above reasons !! Some appeared very nice to look at , and fairly comfortable ! But site was hopelessly beyond the ability of anyone past 70 yrs, also the appoarch road was extremely narrow in countryside, but with heavy / large traffic.
Quite fancy Italy or Spain, buttttt don't think it will happen!

annsixty don't ask me, I just live there, I'm a Manchester girl!
Footballers seem to like it 'cos they think it's posh! What the hell do they know?

My parents retired to a very roomy 2 bedroomed bungalow but always regretted not holding on for a 3 bedroomed one. In their mid-80s they seriously considered selling up and moving to a larger property. It would have happened if DM hadn't died unexpectedly.

Anyway 'older people' covers a huge age range and one type of property may be ideal in ones 60s and 70s but another when one gets older.

I get really irritated the way all people over 60 get stick into one group. My 70 year old friend has a mother still alive and active in her 90s. Their lives, attitudes and needs are a generation apart.

Must say I'd just hate the idea of a retired community - and like many others, would much prefer a flat with a lift or groundfloor, near facilities, and buy any services in. I truly enjoy having people of all ages and children around, if if they can be a bit noisy.

About size, we've discussed this many a time- but really would prefer 3 bedrooms- if there a HUGE difference in price between 2 bed and 3 bed? I wonder. Also if we did downsize, we said we would also rent a storage unit somewhere near to keep things like suitcases, spare duvets, winter coats and boots and vice-versa- to maximise space available.

Wasn't there a RAF camp at Wilmslow - one of the basic training unit?

Emily please don't let anyone in Wilmslow know you refer to it as being in Manchester. It is in a posh part of Cheshire and they are very proud of that. Right Lona?

I have two friends who are widows. One has moved into a two bedroom retirement flat over looking a canal. She arranged to refit the kitchen and the bathroom before she moved in. She nearly moved out again when the warden asked her opinion on things in the communal areas, then repeated this to other residents, who then they took umbrage. There is parking sapcae for visitors, the green grocer delivers. I do not know about the garden. The other has just bought a more up market flat and is about to move in.

However the website that has all the up to date stuff on about retirement hosing, including a post code search option is:

www.housinglin.org.uk/useraccount/

They have regional meetings which you can attend free of charge. They are held in older age housing. Often the architect gives a talk on why they designed it as they did. There is a chance at lunch time to go on a guided tour round the place. Once we found ourselves locked into the garden with no bell on the door. We did not know the code. A member of the party rang the office on his mobile phone!!

Whilst we are a couple we will not be moving. When there is just one of us that one will decide what is best at the time. As we are in the country and later driving may be a problem it is likely that the person left would sell up and move. At present we love having family members to stay, my husband is a keen gardener, we buy a bit extra help as needed, large supermorkets do deliver if necessary..

A couple we know have moved to Wilmslow in Manchester to be by their son. They area really enjoying a more urban environment, where there are plenty of classes and clubs with easy access to the theatre and concerts and an excellent bus route. They have a smaller garden and are happy with this.

When mum looked round some of these retirement apartments I too noticed that the, often very nice, communal areas were deserted. I wonder why? I can understand people liking their own homes and some privacy - but not all the time.

I would never voluntarily move into a retirement complex - the very idea fills me with dread. From what I know, the communal areas/facilities are rarely used and people keep to themselves.

Unless you live in the middle of nowhere or are incapacitated you can always make a social life for yourself by joining in local activities and as others have said, if you need assistance you can pay as and when.

My neighbours are a mixed bunch age wise - there are any number of 80/90-somethings that I see out and about shopping, walking, off to church, concerts, swimming, etc.

What an interesting thread. having lived in sheltered housing flats trying 3 different ones I would not recommend them although to be fair they were rented. 2 of them were lovely flats quite large and roomy with a veranda free heating and communal gardens in nice areas near shops, doctors bank ect but it was the people some were lovely but there seemed to be a click of a few who thought they could run everything and seemed to control everything. The wardens were very hit and miss , some were lovely and were a joy to have around but none seemed to stay very long in the job and others were just going through the motions. The people were a very mixed bunch. I would think very carefully before i went into one again. I now live in a privately owned rented flat with mixed ages and it took me a while to get used to it but on the whole it's been a better atmosphere. Private sheltered flats may of course be different. By the way I'm 70 years old.

In general it is certainly warmer and drier in Berkshire, although last Tuesday DGS2 and I got drenched and had to repair to Granny's favourite cafe to warm up.

Berkshire is very nice though and it's quite a bit warmer and drier down here - but I can understand your reservations about moving into very small accommodation.

This has been an interesting thread to come home from work to. We are nearing retirement in a small market town in the northwest and DD and DS both live in Berkshire. DD has been talking about us moving down to be near her ever since she moved there - for easy and cheap childcare, she says, but also because I think she really wants her Mum nearby. This is particularly because she's been diagnosed with a serious illness which may or may not render her disabled in the future - she's almost symptom-free at the moment. Apart from the thought of moving to a much busier area and not being within sight of the Pennines, what we could get for our three-bed semi here would barely buy the tiniest retirement flat in her town. They have the smallest bedrooms and one sitting/dining room with incorporated kitchen. It would mean a drastic change in life-style and I really don't want to be trapped in only two tiny rooms with DH!

My mum lived in a retirement flat when she became a bit frail and had lost her confidence. It gave her a new lease of life for a few years and she was near to us.
However, for me the idea of a living in such an old people's ghetto fills me with horror and the communal areas are like hotels - pastels, dado rails and patterned carpets!
We have just bought a smaller house and had a downstairs bedroom and en suite built so that we could stay there if we can't manage stairs. The garden is also smaller.
But isn't the thought of decrepitude so depressing? Nothing about old age is appealing. That is why I think so many baby boomers are burying their heads in the sand and staying put in large houses.

I bought a one bedroom flat four years ago. It's in a McCarthy & Stone development, otherwise known as Peveral, FirstPoint, etc. I got a good deal by being a cash buyer but they are very expensive. I'm also paying £2600 a year in charges. There are 14 parking spaces for 40 flats but fortunately we can park on the road. I'm OK with it but most of the residents are quite a lot older than I am. I am quite active so my social life is mainly in the city and I don't mix much with the others.

Having read through some of the posts, my mum made friends easily, unlike my taciturn father, I'm not sure this set up would have suited him. I think it's fair to say that there were a couple of particularly curmudgeonly so and sos at the block where she lived. One man arrived there affable and friendly but over a period of time became engaged to a fairly cantankerous woman who changed his personality, not for the better. My mum was of the opinion his "fiancee" wound him up.

As others have pointed out some retirement apartments would allow animals, my mother had a close friend on the ground floor who had a cat and a small dog.

On the whole I would say that the set up worked well for her at that particular time of her life.

When my mother became a widow, she was adamant she wanted to downsize to a retirement apartment, by then she was 82 and I helped her do this. She had five very happy years in a very nicely kept block directly overlooking the beach with just a road between. It was well run, with an exceptionally lovely manageress who hailed from Liverpool, she and her husband lived in the block in one of the apartments. They took the job seriously and arranged quite a few events for the residents. They had a coffee morning once a week in the communal lounge and in addition there were regular activities arranged such as trips out to lovely gardens, usually with a lunch and the occasional theatre outing. She already had social events through her church, so she found herself quite busy. This made me very happy as I lived 70 miles away but tried to get down once a week to take mum out to lunch, I was nevertheless glad that she had people around her at other times. She made several close friends at the flats, but to be expected, from time to time residents would die at a faster rate than living in a mixed community and that could leave her depressed if she had a close relationship with that person.

The downside of living in such a place was the management charges, which were hefty. Mum having downsized was awash with funds, probably for the first time in her life, with nothing much to spend her money on, could well afford them, in fact she personally found it worth it because of what was provided. To be fair I can see where the money was spent, washing machine and dryers would be replaced at once in the communal laundry should they be faulty. Maintenance men would come out immediately if the lift wasn't working. The common areas were decorated whilst she was there and the carpet replaced with new furniture for the communal lounge. In fact everywhere was immaculate, gardeners regularly maintained the gardens. The problem of course is selling the flat on because the high level of charges do put off prospective purchasers.

My mum adopted an "out with the old" and asked me to help her choose a new look when she moved in. With her approval we ordered new furniture on line from John Lewis. We had neutral carpets and walls and the estate agent told me that helped with the sale in the end. I would add that the management company took a very hefty transfer fee charge when I sold the flat after my mother's death, my solicitor thought this was daylight robbery. I understand some residents are now forming their own committees to run their properties thus cutting their charges and challenging some of the more extortionate levies. Good for them!

Of course if we are all right and no one wants one of these for all the above reasons, why are there so many and why are so many being built? Some must like them.

I've just read all these posts and it is noticeable that there are hardly any positive comments about retirement flats. My DH would hate such a move but I have been thinking that, should I be the last to go, a retirement village would suit me as I like a bit of a social life and hate to be on my own too much. I will have to think again. This has been a very useful thread.

Silverleaf you sound amazing! I like a mix of ages round me, keeps me younger in spirit. My father and mother moved into sheltered accommodation, they had the show flat, a sort of bungalow attached to the main building, the living room was a good size and two bedrooms okay. Communal grounds they were not allowed to tend, but amazingly they were allowed to keep their dog (most won't accept pets). Wardens changed on a regular basis, some better than others. There were no organised activities other than anything the residents provided for themselves in the common room.

As others have mentioned, the management fees were a bone of contention, and a community of over 70s doesn't provide mutual support, more a mutual moaning ground! Grumpy old men and women seem to fall out more easily, and when you are living on top of each other, it is worse, though when my mother died, I think my father was glad not to feel alone, even if some of them were a bit touchy.

When he died it was a nightmare, two and a half years of having to go back and keep the place maintained, estate agents were absolutely useless, and in the end it was bought by another resident who wanted the bigger accommodation, otherwise I think it still might be a millstone round my neck!

I agree with all those who don't want to live in a single age group community.

I don't want to put all the hard earned savings into someone else's pocket either! I have a property alert with Primelocation and every time something comes up which looks like a lot of flat for the money it is an over 60s one.

When we were discussing that at some point the house and garden will be too much for us a good friend suggested that paying people to help would probably cost less than the costs of moving to somewhere smaller. I think he had a point. We could turn the dining room into a bedroom and just live on one floor with a bit of work to enlarge the loo to a wet room. Then we would still have the rest of the house for family to come and stay.

I have found this post and the replies very interesting and helpful. My parents, in their nineties live in the same area as Val (Lincoln) in a 4 bedroom bungalow with a large garden. They are both reasonably active but Dad is blind and Mum falls a lot so we felt their present circumstances are not really suitable. I have been suggesting a retirement flat with warden supervision and they have been fiercely resisting it. Seems they were right to do so!
We downsized from a large 3 bedroom house with large garden to a 3 bedroom flat with communal garden when we were in our late 60s early 70s respectively and are so glad we didn't wait any longer. Our neighbours range from the elderly to students and young families and it's so sociable. Yes we have to pay a community charge for the garden and communal area maintenance, but it's less than we spent on maintaining our own garden and house. When and if we need help we will pay for it but at the moment my husband at almost 76 is still climbing the Asturian mountains once a fortnight!

One thing I don't want to do now I am really old is live with a lot of other old people, So boring !! Mixed community is what one needs and everyone helps everyone else in different ways and more stimulating . I agree pay for help as and when needed. All this of course provided one can get about and don't need too much physical help. Join every society and group one possibly can. Carry on as regardless as one possibly can for as long as one can. I am in my 10th decade.

We have a plethora of elderly purpose flats in my seaside town. We also have some council run warden assisted flats. My brother-in-law lives in a in a council run flat. It is tiny, I mean tiny . He has sitting room with a niche for his kitchen. A tiny bedroom and bathroom. I can nearly touch opposite walls with out stretched arms. There is a communal room with activities run by some of the lady residents whose word is law. It is close to the centre of town. I went with a friend who was looking to move to a privately run complex. Lovely two bedroom flat and communal area but so expensive to run with all the extras. I'm staying put in my gff with decent garden. Also, I don't want to live in an elderly ghetto. I like a mix of ages.