Tips on downsizing to a more expensive area, please!

Good luck!
We still keep hoping, and know that something will turn up as soon as we have finished refurbishing our present house just as we want it!

Sorry for the delay in acknowledging further comments since my last posting - all of which are really useful. I have printed this whole thing out twice now, highlighted all the main suggestions - and warnings! and filed it in my own 'house and home' ring binder for future detailed discussion with significant other in the near future.

I am so very grateful to you all x

We looked at a bungalow which had what must have been a 1970s kitchen - it was so retro and so well looked after that I would have kept it!
However, it was a case of location, location, location not being right.
I think the people who bought it have ripped it out

Thanks NfkDumpling, I've been researching for ages, scouring Rightmove, had our house valued for sale, etc, think the catalyst is here, in the form of daughter's imminent move to an area where they plan to stay long term, and we could realistically move to as well. We actually managed to discuss the subject today, helped by points made on this thread (and other Gransnet forums), so thanks to everyone!

I'd been looking at possible areas to move to and scanning Rightmove for a couple of years before the penny dropped for my DH and he realised we needed to move, so the homework was done and the momentum there when he did accept the need. It took getting on for another two years though to downsize the contents of our house and all his sheds - and actually sell. It takes a lot longer than envisaged!

The catalyst for my DH to move was opening the back door one autumn and the leaf drift from the woodland behind our house cascading into the kitchen. The novely of another year of leaf raking and bonfires - so nice when when we moved there thirty odd years previously - suddenly palled. You never know what the trigger will be, you just need to be ready!

Looked at a detached home for rent - it was quite nice on the outside and stunning views. DH was taken aback to see the original kitchen fittings, including a Belling which must have dated from about 1955.

Mine has a 'retro' kitchen, older than yours cbeebie

As I said on another thread, we are re-decorating, but are obviously way behind the times with colour choice too.
We would like to downsize but there is nothing around at all that is suitable.

I'd love to downsize but can't sell my 4 bedroomed, 'retro-decorated' house! Don't just assume that yours will sell immediately - test the market.

(I have had two offers but both prospective purchasers pulled out for different reasons, very frustrating..)

A friend downsized from a largish four bedroomed house to a two bedroomed bungalow when her DH was ill; they worried that they would not be able to cope with the house and garden.

She warned us that 'you can never get away from each other in a small bungalow'
Her husband has recovered and seems fit and well, but as I think they are both now 80 they probably made a wise move all those years ago.

My neighbour put her 3 bed detached on the market on Wed and has already had 2offers which is incredible really. My concern for her is that the semi detached bungalow she wants is so tiny and I know her well enough to know she will not like it after a time. She is a very on the ball 74 year old and I think she is bored. However my lips are firmly zipped.

A friend of mine and DH have a lovely 4 bedroom house and want to downsize to a 2 bedroom flat in London but whenever she has seen anywhere has said, "my furniture will not fit in here". It has not penetrated yet that she will have to get rid of half of the furniture and work out if the remainder will fit into a much smaller residence. Not rocket science. They will end up never moving and they live on the top of a hill.

I'm new to Gransnet, and have found this forum very helpful, some really good points for consideration re downsizing, and my mantra is 'We need to move BEFORE we need to move', BUT, while I've been ready to do this for some years, DH will only ever say 'Yes, one day...'. We've been in our house for 32 years, and while it's sound and comfortable, it would suit retro enthusiasts, with its 23 year old kitchen, 1976 boiler (working perfectly!), anaglypta wallpaper... Our daughter, son in law, and grandson, are in the process of moving from their London flat to a house outside London, which will bring them nearer to us, though they will still commute to London for work. (1.5 hours away from us, as opposed to 3 hours at present) and I feel this is the ideal time to move ourselves, to be much closer to them. We get on very well, and none of us have family any nearer. I know they will soon make friends (daughter is pregnant, and will join NCT). I can see lots of positives in making the move now, buying a more modern house, being around to give practical help to daughter and family, doing it while we have the energy to make a new social life, (we're keen U3A members, and the area in question has a thriving U3A) and freeing up our 4 bedroom house for a family to modernise and enjoy. BUT, how to persuade DH to uproot?! Does anyone have ideas, suggestions, advice?

I'm new to Gransnet, and have found this forum very helpful, some really good points for consideration re downsizing, and my mantra is 'We need to move BEFORE we need to move', BUT, while I've been ready to do this for some years, DH will only ever say 'Yes, one day...'. We've been in our house for 32 years, and while it's sound and comfortable, it would suit retro enthusiasts, with its 23 year old kitchen, 1976 boiler (working perfectly!), anaglypta wallpaper... Our daughter, son in law, and grandson, are in the process of moving from their London flat to a house outside London, which will bring them nearer to us, though they will still commute to London for work. (1.5 hours away from us, as opposed to 3 hours at present) and I feel this is the ideal time to move ourselves, to be much closer to them. We get on very well, and none of us have family any nearer. I know they will soon make friends (daughter is pregnant, and will join NCT). I can see lots of positives in making the move now, buying a more modern house, being around to give practical help to daughter and family, doing it while we have the energy to make a new social life, (we're keen U3A members, and the area in question has a thriving U3A) and freeing up our 4 bedroom house for a family to modernise and enjoy. BUT, how to persuade DH to uproot?! Does anyone have ideas, suggestions, advice?

Just round the corner from our new bungalow is a small B&B where the charges are very reasonable. She does not need to advertise as 'word of mouth' tells everyone that it is a lovely place and (paying for?) your visitors staying there means no washing, no breakfasts and not such full on visits!

If you can afford it a two bedroomed bungalow with a loft conversion would be ideal, especially if it can be closed off and left unheated when not in use. Then for the occasional big get-together all your family could bring sleeping bags etc and use it as a dormitory.

Nfk My hubby's feeling exactly we can't have the whole family all to-gether and he is a person who feels every thing in moderation is not a bad thing.

We downsized nine years ago from a four bed suburban family home with an unruly garden to a small three bed detached with a manageable garden in a market town. Apparently, nationally market towns are 30% dearer than average!

We can now walk to everything we need (doctor, dentist, optician, etc as well as shops) and because we moved early, have been able to slot into clubs and local activities. We also no longer need to worry about heating bills, even the window cleaner is much cheaper with few windows.

The only drawback is that we now have grandchildren (and their dogs) and can no longer accommodate the whole family at one time. DH however, does not consider this to be a drawback!

Yes Pauline, that "someone will want these after I'm gone" syndrome.
After my mother died, I got her books, a small skip full, piled in the middle of my floor by my dear stepfather (not even in boxes). Thanks mum. My sister lives abroad and I don't think she ever took one of them.
And how many people are there that have their parents best silver dinner cutlery stashed away in the loft?
Yes it is hard work and draining going through stuff. But essential to do it before moving and not after.
The main positive is that when you've done it you feel lighter and also extremely virtuous.
Oxfam send you a nice email if you are registered for Giftaid and tell you how much your stuff was sold for. So that feels good.
And I gave a lot of photos of my cousin as a baby to her. She was delighted as she didn't have copies of any of them. "Is that really me?!" So passing things on while you can have the pleasure of giving gets the thumbs up as well.

Lots of home truths JessM in your post. Denial and procrastination is alive and well in the lives of us elderly! Accepting that our kids don't want our precious stuff that we have lovingly collected over the years is difficult to accept - and can easily derail the process of downsizing and bring a halt to activating the relocation plans.

The difference between "pipe dreaming" about moving to somewhere more suitable for our lifestyle - i.e. finding the perfect place and then actually coming to terms with the realities of how much work is really involved can stretch over a long period of time....and during this "thinking" period the ageing process relentlessly continues and after a time our ability to cope with big changes in lifestyle can slowly diminish.

In other words it is such an overwhelming task at the best of times and even harder to complete the older we get. You are so right when you say its painful, time consuming and vital. So very thankful we made our decisions on where to live/how to live as we age when we had the energy and drive to enjoy the process and be fully "present" in the decisions we made.

I can't help with downsizing to a more expensive area, although we did do that very many years ago, then 'upsized' when we left again.

However, we I would like to downsize, but not too much, probably to a bungalow with a small garden, but there is absolutely nothing that appeals to me near where we live out of the very few places on the market.

I would say don't leave it too late to change areas, as you will have to go through all the rigmarole of finding new doctors, dentists, finding your way through quite a maze.

Change can happen in a wink of an eye at any age. DD was seriously injured in a road accident and left with a disabled right arm. She had to make lots of changes and adaptions to how she lives and works without any notice.

When you are older you know things can change suddenly and can make plans accordingly, which is what we have done, while continuing to enjoy a home and lifestyle that suits us now. Younger people, like DD, have sudden change thrust upon them without ever having thought about it. She managed, we have thought it through and we will manage as well if and when it happens.

Trouble is we live in a bungalow which was jerry built in the post war years . It's in a perfect spot but as Rosesarered says it has every fault you couldn't wish for. The windows need replacing, the boiler is thirty years old ,the garden is large and expensive and when it snows we have three hills to negotiate to get out. I have replaced the roof but I have just noticed a leak in the roof. I think a flat would be perfect.

Over Xmas I was unwell and got a foretaste of how things could be later on, with diminished strength, aches all over reducing mobility, and lack of brainpower.

As another poster said, that can happen in the wink of an eye, which is a scary thought.

I'm finding the advice in this thread very useful for future planning.

We have downsized to a 1960's bungalow which needed totally gutting. We now have a lovely 'new' house with everything to our taste and specification. Fewer bedrooms and smaller garden and proximity to facilities.

We had previously moved 15 years ago when the children had left home. I though we had got rid of all our clutter, but no!

It is REALLY, REALLY hard work! We are both fit and well ,68 and 69, but I wouldn't recommend leaving it any later, or it will be too much hassle. Also, none of us immortal, so we need to face the prospect of being alone and a move then would be so much more difficult.

Most of our friends live in houses which are too big for them and most acknowledge that they will need to move at some point. Get on with it before it's too late and enjoy the new space!

All this talk of property and moving house is bringing on the urge to do a bit of 'Rightmove-ing' ..... I'm resisting!

Regarding flats - the flat two floors above me is having a new kitchen fitted and the noise of drilling, banging, whatever sounds like it's coming from the flat directly above! All quiet at present as the workers are no doubt having their lunch. But no complaints from me, as 12 years' ago when I moved here I did the same thing.

The noise from the builder melds with the sirens from the police/emergency services - seemed to be a lot of sirens earlier on.

However, this is the price I pay for living in town - every amenity, shops & restaurants, friendly bars, free public transport, GP & dentist, major hospital, all on the doorstep.