We had always lived in cities until recently when we moved to a 'village' of around 6,000 people. Is great, big enough to have all the facilities you could wish for and small enough to join in things with like minded people.
It could be claustrophobic in a very small village with few facilities. We also downsized, but were careful not to go too small. When you are both at home together you do need space to 'escape'!
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Finding a house where community may exist
(34 Posts)Thank you for those replies. I've never heard of a senior move manager Br0adwater! I hadn't really thought about the issue of mobility but I am having knee trouble so probably I should. There is a bus where we are at the moment. I suppose I'm trying to second guess the chances of anywhere in particular having friendly people and although the town in general is surprisingly friendly, I'm a little unnerved by the silent streets around us at the moment (and a bit lonely!).
grannypiper I would happily move to a smaller house. Sigh. DH is the one who wants more room, ideally I think we need a shed in the garden he can retire to!
I've always lived in towns (I come from London originally) and I'm tantalised by the idea of a peaceful village. We did live in a village for 18 months many years ago. It was quite linear and not that friendly so I know nothing is on the cards.
I used to belong to the WI and am going to an exercise class. I know these things take time but I also want to feel settled and I am a bit bothered because the estate I described is labelled as the cheaper end of town though our little 1980s arm is a cul de sac full of better quality houses. I like where we're renting, I just think it doesn't have much character. The reason we're feeling pushed is the landlord has got wind of us thinking about buying and now he's saying he's going to put the house on the market anyway so buy it or leave in February!! We have an oldish cat which makes moving to another rental a bit tricky and my energy levels are not entirely invigorated by the thought either!
Villages are not always friendly. If people have been there some time they could have quite tight friendship groups and it can be hard to join in. And lots of villages are commuter dormitories, with nobody about during the week, so choose carefully. Village life is not always like the Archers. I moved a few years ago from a village to a small town because I felt I needed easy access to things like a library, shops, transport and doctors surgery.
I was going to suggest renting as I started to read your post :-)
We looked at over 30 properties in a 10 mile radius before finding the right one. I knew every property for sale on sites like Rightmove. Keep hunting and don't rely on the Estate Agents to find the right one.
We are currently in rented about 20 minutes from our new home as completion is a while off and we had sold.
I too sometimes wondered where everyone was during the daytime, but having got myself a part-time job near the new place, I've met people of all ages.
I plan to investigate groups/clubs etc as I too am the more social one of us.
Keep looking :-)
How about using a local (senior) move manager? They can help you and DH examine your options and act as a sounding board.
Also, try joining a local group such as WI or NWR to meet like-minded people and find out where they recommend.
Definitely avoid living at the top of a hill. Find somewhere you can carry on living even when you're older, widowed, less mobile etc. Sorry to raise these possibilities but you're in an ideal position to set yourselves up for later life.
Lastly, try your local branch of Gransnet. It's accessible via this site although I took ages to crack how to find it.
I think it is important to have the option of alternative transport as you get older, and do explore local clubs and organisations, be certain before you settle for second best. Personally I love our old cottage all on one level and would not contemplate stairs as I get older. SIL lives on a road of bungalows on edge of tourist town and it's full of retired people who all help each other so such places do exist.
I think the only choice you have to make is the type of house and the location you want from live in. Personally, I would be looking at proximity to a reasonably sized shopping centre with facilities such as bank, post office etc. I don't think there is too much you can do regarding the type of people you live near. People in villages tend to be more friendlier than those in larger towns but wherever you live, you have no control over the neighbours. Wouldn't it be better to choose the house that you both like first and then to consider joining in some local activity which interests you, in order for make friends?
Azie dont be pushed into making a rushed purchase, one big question has to be how would you cope living at the top of a hill when you can no longer drive ? it's a long way up with shopping ! you both have to like it and feel at home. Do you really need huge rooms and so many of them, i cant tell you from experience that in our case moving from a 4 bed 2 reception 2 bathroom into a 2 bed 2 reception 1 bath was a fantastic move
Hello, I wonder if anyone might have anything to offer on the question of moving to somewhere congenial!
We moved, this summer, after 30 years from a small city to a small town (pop. 13,000) with a lot of satellite villages in the south west. We've been renting for six months and my goodness, has that been useful in finding out about different areas, types of house etc.
At the moment we are renting a 4 bed detached on a small 1980s estate that is at the top of a hill (on the edge of town), the lower part of which is occupied by a 1960s estate which is perfectly smart but the houses are clearly much cheaper and you simply never see anyone out apart from school closing time (when they all seem to drive anyway!). The little estate where we live has more upmarket houses but again, you never see anyone and the guy next door is nice enough but also a bit of a fusspot. DH likes this house and, not being a great socialiser, wants to buy it - we have an option to do that and it is £70-80,000 cheaper than similar houses elsewhere.
The housing stock in the area is very varied and mostly sells like hot cakes. We've also looked at cottages in the villages which are often very attractive but tend to have small rooms, small gardens and to be tucked in tight against neighbours. Today we looked at another one of these, I liked it and especially liked the fact that people around were out and about, in their gardens, and several said friendly hellos.
Feeling slightly awkward saying it, I suppose the villages feel full of middle class types and where we are living (judging by the Co-op at the bottom of the hill) is full of very nice people, when you see them, but who I would guess we wouldn't have a lot in common with.
We can't go on renting our present house so are feeling pushed. DH who tends to always want the easy option, thinks we should just stay where we are. He is not the most sociable character, he's always had just a few friends and he is content to assume that he'll make friends through joining a choir, etc. I've always had quite a social circle (though I struggle to make friends and am not a Queen Bee, but I get there)and here I feel rather fed up of the endless twosome-ness and feel that a village-type house is likely to throw up more friendship and neighbourly relationships. There are houses in the villages too but DH doesn't like those because they are too regimented and have no character!!
Possibly this sounds a bit of a tangle but any insights and advice re moving into a new area and getting to know people would be gratefully received. I am getting a bit end of tether and can feel myself slumping towards the present house too but I suspect I would always feel a niggle about it. Thank you for reading.
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