Overstaying lodger!

Oh my goodness thank you all so very much for your comments, suggestions and excellent advice. Everyone has said just exactly what I have been feeling and thinking. I certainly won’t suggest raising the rent, she has a very well paid job so money isn’t an issue. Only last night she tipped a glass of water on the lounge carpet and made no attempt to blot it dry. Ok- it’s water- doesn’t stain and will dry but that’s not the point is it? My one concern in all this that I know just how my DH will react when I tell- not suggest, stronger already!- that its time she was on her way. He won’t see any problems with all my reasons for it and will probably sulk- but I have experienced that many times and lived to tell the tale!!
I will keep you all posted and thank you all again! Sometimes you need to have an outside opinion to confirm what you know already! ❤️? xx

WHAT!?!!!#!!#!! MARCHING ORDERS PRONTO!!!!

I absolutely agree with everyone here who says she must go!
And the sooner the better. And if your husband does not agree then there are some serious questions to be answered.
You must be some sort of saint! I would never have allowed this situation in the first place.

I agree with everyone else ..get rid of get out yourself
I would certainly be having a serious chat with the husband though.
Can you be certain something deeper is not going on , are they ever alone??
Does your husband ever think it's unfair that you are in another room each night while they "watch sport"
Something is amiss here and you need to find out what is really going on ..I'd seriously think about rigging up a camera in the room they are alone in .

Tell your husband you really need some quality time, just with him, but feel inhibited by his friend being in the house..

Your husband is the problem here; he seems to regard this woman as a surrogate daughter/mate. He knows you want her to go, but uses the extra money as an excuse for her to stay. So you need to go on the attack.
Ask her bluntly and repeatedly when she is going to find somewhere permanent to live; she was only offered a few weeks. Have a list of available rooms to hand.
You are not a landlady. (Is this income registered and declared?)
Treat her as you would treat an untidy daughter, by immediately gathering all her discarded possessions, particularly the wet and drying washing, and dump them on her bed.
Unwashed dishes go back in (her) cupboard until you ask her to clear it because you need the space.
Invade the cosy sport watching sessions with a loud crackly newspaper and talk all through them. Insist on watching your programmes. Don't go off to bed or sit in the dining room; it is your house.
She is underpaying you, but don't raise the rent; it will only give your husband more reason to claim the excuse of extra income.
You are going to have to be extremely firm here, not only with this woman but with your husband.
I think you have been amazingly tolerant for the past year, and you need to reclaim your house, and marriage.

I agree with all that's been said. I would not have agreed to having her stay in the first place, you're a much nicer person than I am!

On yer bike young lady

You need to sit down with your husband and have a Very Serious Talk.

Totally agree with janeainsworth. Remind her this was only meant as an interim arrangement. Set the timescale and stick to it. I suspect Bluebelle may be right in that you will meet more opposition from your husband.
You have been very tolerant, stick to your guns. Good luck.

I'd be telling my husband that I'd complied with his wishes for a year and that it was time for my wishes for a lodger-free home to be taken into account. I'd try to remain on my best behaviour with her (no games with the TV remote, etc) to preclude any accusations of bullying. I wouldn't try to nudge her out by suggesting a higher rent, either (she might agree to it!).

I think your mistake was charging her rent because that changed the arrangement from a very short-term, friendly one into an open-ended, business one.

This means you have the right to be business-like about getting rid of this woman, just like her previous landlord was.

But be honest, as far as you can, and stick to practicalities. Don’t refer to your DH’s friendliness towards her, as that will just be denied and they will become defensive. Leave out any references to her slovenly ways.

Your reasons are:
You need the space in your fridge and cupboard.
You need the space in the wardrobe.
You need somewhere for your DGCs to sleep.
You want your house to yourself and only welcome visitors for short visits.

All these are perfectly reasonable and can’t be argued with.
It will be hard but if you start thinking of yourself as a professional landlord it will be easier.
Most importantly, set a timescale.
Good luck.

I agree with everyone that has answered already.

I would simply say "It's not working for me anymore" when asked why, say "I never viewed it as a long-term arrangement" and that you want your house back.

Actually you have plenty of reasons. It's not necessary to focus on lodger's rights, it is perfectly reasonable to focus on your wishes and needs.

I wouldn't hasten to CAB or anything like that, why would you when all you have to do is assert yourself.

Good luck!

Definitely overstaying her welcome. Alarm bells would be ringing for me too. This cosy relationship with the OH is not one to encourage. Doesn’t she have friends her own age who like sport? How would he like it if a young male colleague of yours moved in and you were up all hours watching movies or chatting about books? You need to have a frank discussion with the OH, it’s time she packed her bags. It’s not just about getting your house back, important as that is, you need to get your relationship back.

Your husband seems way too fond of her and her company for me I’m afraid I would never have agreed in the first place (wicked woman that I am ) maybe I m thinking back to the young lady my ex husband befriended, he didn’t ask for her to live with us but he did use to tag her on to any trips out we made, to the cinema, parties etc as ‘ she was having such a bad time at home and he felt sorry for her’ she was a lovely girl and I liked her, well that is until I found out he was helping her in more ways than one and having an affair
This is not a situation that should go on a minute longer even if there’s nothing in it your husband is prioritising her friendship over you, disgraceful

I think you will have a problem getting her out and your husband will be the problem not the law

I would be reminding my DH of the (few weeks till she found somewhere) appeal at the start.

Oh dear what a dreadful situation. I totally agree with Bathsheba. The longer this goes on the more difficult it will become to get rid of her.

There's a cuckoo in the nest!!

So long,
Farewell,
Au revoir
Aufwiedersehn
Adieu
Good Bye!

She needs to go!

Good grief, I think you're a saint to have put up with this for nearly a year! I would be seriously pissed off if my husband moved a young woman in and spent every evening chatting to her about sport, leaving me in another room on my own.
You really need to have a conversation with your husband about this, and be very clear about how you feel, detailing all the reasons - not least that you feel totally pushed out by the two of them having cosy evenings together watching and discussing sport while you sit alone elsewhere. Tell him that you want this arrangement to come to an end by (insert date here), then both sit down with her one evening and tell her. You can offer to help her find somewhere else, but please do not back down.
Good luck!

If you google 'what rights do lodgers have' you will see they do not have many rights. I'd formally give her notice in writing after speaking, to her to get the ball rolling. If your husband objects on money grounds, tell him you can make a lot more money renting her room through AirBnB. If she has a wide circle of friends, she should have no difficulty sofa surfing until she finds a place of her own.

Anniechip you have the patience of a Saint!!
Agree with Springchicken give her notice.

If need be check your rights with citizens advice.

Mean while Remove her clothes from the wardrobe and food from kitchen cupboards.
Keep TV remote in your possession.
No sport.
Ask her to use the launderette.
In other words no more cosy nights and taking liberties.

Could you ask your daughter to remind her father that he has a family and grandchildren to consider.
I would also be reminding him (DH) that he has a wife to consider.
I feel angry on your behalf

Good luck!

You want one thing, your husband seems to want another. In your position I would be having a straight talk with my husband and wanting him to understand that family needs come first and tell her together it’s times to move on. Good luck, wishing you well.

Time for her to move on, why? Because you want your house back for one thing, and your DGD to sleepover, and also tbh it’s a bit too cosy with her and your DH spending their evenings together.Be firm.