House on the Market

Like many others I have to face the fact that I should downsize and not leave it too late. I'm 68 and fit but already the decorating and garden are beginning to be too much and on my own I don't need the space. I have no family near, my son lives abroad and my daughter lives the other end of the country.

Recently I visited a friend in Spain and was surprised how reasonable apartments were on her complex.Her maintenance charge was less than my council tax and that included the upkeep of beautiful gardens and pool. Id never thought about moving there myself but I;m certainly thinking about it now.

yes bikergran, aspect is very important, was on my list when house hunting and definitely not s facing for me. Ok I have a s facing home right now, with massive triple glazed windows and solar shading, so I can control how much heat I let in. I see EAs list houses as s facing as though it is an asset, well it isn`t in a raging hot summer in the uk. I wanted E/W and I found it, windows at both ends and very light. Morning sun at one end and afternoon sun at the other

I have open plan here and love it but I wanted a living room with a stove and a door, separate from the kitchen. I will have basic 2 rooms downstairs, sitting room, kitchen/diner, tiny utility and downstairs loo

I am sorry that you aren`t happy bikergran. If we had better and secure renting conditions here, as in much of the continent, then people would sell and move into no-maintenance rented. Buying can trap us and these big builders, well they fill their show homes with glitz so it becomes hard to see past that, to examine the development plan and house layout

We moved 10 years ago to a new build, one of two only, in an established road of mixed housing. To reiterate what others have said draw up a check list of what you consider essential, ie area, and type of house. Then desirables, ie large kitchen and so on. Every time we saw a house we referred to list so that we would not be swayed by "falling in love" with something unsuitable. You will have to compromise of course but it's better not to compromise on essentials otherwise it won't work. I hope you find something that suits you, but be prepared for a sometimes stressful time, in the end it's worth it. I agree Framilode that the English system is not fit for purpose. I am another "meditator" craftyone. It keeps me sane (ish). So sorry for your situation Whiff and hope it resolves soon. Also bikergran.

We lived in a 3 bed ex council house, over looking fields and hills (you could sit in bed and look out as the windowsills were lower)

You needed a car really to get to town if you were bringing shopping back as not good bus route.

It was 1950s house Nori Brick inside and out we loved it,
But when dh became too ill to do much maintenance (I am a great DIYer lol) he badgered n badgered to move.

He said "when Im no longer here you need something
easy" (he was 20 yrs older than me)

So I eventually gave in and we sold the house to first buyer.

Bought new build 2 bed mews.

The other houses hadn't been built and of course we didn't take much notice of the plans (wrong)!

I am now here on my own I hate every minute of being in this house.I have screaming kids at 2 sides constantly booting football over etc etc etc . 3/4 bedroom houses so lots of kids,

Please do do your home work as others have suggested I wish we had done!!

Also it is a small, but open plan house it is freeeeeezing all the time. So think also about where the sun shines etc.Something else we didn't do and are NE facing.

I would love to move out now stuck here.

Although I am on good bus route, have tesco express nearby and Oswaldtwistle Mills across the road.

Thank you very much for your replies. They are much appreciated. I will keep you posted.

P.S turned out we picked a bad time to sell too. Took ages and we had to drastically lower the price. So stressful, I don't know how I kept my sanity. But at last, it's happening!

We've just bought a 2/3 bedroom (depending on how you use them, one can be a dining room) cottage. All on one level. Manageable garden.
Leaving the 5 bedroom two storey family home on an acre (I had a lot of kids!)
It needs some work doing (new kitchen and updated bathroom with walk in shower, and carpets) but because of the way the system works in Oz, I am able to get that done now before we move in two months.
OH will find it hard. He HATES change. But he'll have a change of heart after a couple of months and love it. It's what always happens with him after a move.
I can't wait. We'll be in a little, quiet, leafy, side street right in the middle of our small country town. All the neighbours are retired couples. We don't fall into that category yet, but of course it won't be that long!
I'm looking at this cottage as my forever home. It would be maintainable by one person (gulp) and is in the heart of the community we've lived in for 13 years, we'll just be closer to everything.
Doctor and shops 5 minutes away. Cottage hospital with emergency department 10 minutes away.
I feel very lucky. It's the first time in my life I've chosen the home I want, rather than what is suitable for everyone else

whiff, look after your health, this constant stress is terrible for you. There are ways and means of dealing with the effects, personally it was meditation, being out and grounded by hands and knees weeding on my allotment and chocolate

It seems to be going on and on for you. A good estate agent is worth their weight in gold. This is a brutal time to sell, I have reduced my price by 11% from 6 months ago, it was already a good price. I have a buyer now but still have fingers crossed. Several people wanted to buy early on but they never had a buyer. I hate the system in this country

Whiff As an ex estate agent I agree that the english system of house selling is awful and extremely stressful for both seller and buyer.

Selling in Spain is so much better. When an offer is accepted a non returnable deposit of 2000 euros is put down in exchange for the house being taken off the market. When exchange takes place the seller receives the 10% deposit that they keep in their own bank account.

If the buyer pulls out the seller keeps the money. If the seller pulls out he returns the deposit plus another 10%'

Because money is put down at the start very few transactions fall through.

Our system is archaic and needs an overhaul.

Good luck. Third time lucky.

I made the decision to put my house on the market in March last year. I accepted an offer in July and found a lovely two bedroomed bungalow. I am downsizing. As I live on my own after being widowed fifteen years ago at the age of forty five. Both the children moved out over ten years ago and now have homes and families of their own.
All was set to exchange and a week later to complete a week later. My buyer pulled out on the day of exchange and moved into rented accommodation. She knew for weeks she was going to do that. I got another buyer in October and was due to exchange and complete at the beginning of this month. This buyer pulled out four days before the exchange. I have another buyer and am terrified it's going to happen again. Luckily the people selling the bungalow have stuck with me and are willing to sell to me again. I can well understand why people sell to companies that will buy your house on the cheap.
Be aware that it is a very stressful thing selling and buying a house. People who view your house will say some nice things about it but you will also hear some horrible things so you need to have a thick skin.
If it wasn't for my family , friends and all the professional people I deal with I couldn't get through this.

I feel just like when my husband died. The stress is not doing my health any good.
People can pull out at any time without reason and there are no penalties. Once the survey, searches and priced agreed that should be it. Only death, redundancy or serious illness or injury should be a reason for pulling out. And you must prove your reason. If not you should have to pay a penalty to everyone in the chain if you break it.
I was the end of the chain. My buyers both got the money for the properties they sold.
Sorry for the rant but but all I want is to be nearer to my children and my three grandsons.

Make sure you get at least one bathroom with a walk in shower . Look carefully at transport and how you could get to the shops , dentist and doctor. Sit down in any lounge and look at the view and do this from more than one seat . We did not realise that the position of the seats we use daily give us a view of next door's drive.

None of us know what our future holds so important to live as fully as possible, doing things you enjoy, making others happy on the way and not harming people and places on the way.
As a pal says better to die owing a £1m than owning a £1m! ?

I agree GabriellaGabout having fun with your savings. Just have to convince my husband.
I do get the point about how unfair the welfare system is though.

artdecogran, I am sorry for your loss. Please don`t do anything yet, there really is such a thing as widows brain and it takes at least a year to act rationally. Once you are `tied in` to living with someone, then that is it. Is independence at all important to you?

I made some bad decisions in my first year of widowhood, had that new kitchen which hubbie and I had designed, the designer had been at the house on the morning he died suddenly, while out in the afternoon. My last kitchen, a dream kitchen with top of the range and once in a lifetime appliances. Only just 4 years ago and now being included with my house sale. It was a waste of my money. I gave large lump sums to the children, that was ok as it has helped all three but last year was when I drew the reins in, when reality hit, that I had to live on my pension and savings for the rest of my life. The savings will allow me to buy help, to remain independent as long as possible

Greciangirl, I am one of those who lived a frugal life, always doing and making. I now have savings and am another who has decided to buy a house before I sell mine. The very thought of moving via two completions in one day, I could not do it. Will now use my hard earned savings to make my life easier and will move at leisure with minimal stress

Unbelievable. That sane people think first about preserving their 'children's inheritance', money they have prudently saved or invested in bricks and mortar, instead of having fun, spending on some fripperies, travel, or care home fees.
That's right. Look after them when they're children and give them all you can then, when they become AC, give them house deposits or paid holidays. Continue being a bank throughout your working life and, upon retirement, figure out the best way to leave your savings to them, instead of spending it on yourself.
Weird.

Riverwalk we downsized two years ago to what seemed a select arm of a settled estate (25 years old). The houses were a reasonable distance from each other, well maintained with decent gardens. We've just moved again, NO ONE spoke if they could possibly help it! Neighbours would scurry by, heads down. If politely accosted, responses were civil but brief and never reciprocated. The last straw for me was when I took a misdirected letter around as a ploy to knock on doors - I had a nice, long conversation with a couple just across the road at the end of which, she said, 'well, how nice to meet you, I'll be able to wave now when I see you as we're going past in the car'!

The moral of the story being, try as much as possible to tease out the nature of the neighbourhood. Perhaps it's modern Britain but I've never felt so lonely in my life. They all drove everywhere and went to bed at 10pm!

Yes, you could rent out but the rent would be treated as income. Your home would be valued, for example 200K and the income would be expected to go towards the care costs eg 1K a month. Any shortfall say care was 2K a month then 1K would be set against the value of the property. LA could pay the shortfall until the amount you owe makes the balance left on the property below the self funding threshold. Would also apply up until your death . It's what is known as deferred payment. Fairly complicated and I fear I haven't explained it clearly. For your choice of house, I'd go for one with an efficient modern boiler, good insulation, good transport links, not too big a garden. That will do me just fine.

No matter how nice the house is,living on an estate isn’t ideal for retired people.I think you should be looking for a bungalow with either a small or medium sized garden front and back.In a village setting ( large village) with bus routes and some amenities.All the advantages of an apartment, without actually being in one.Good luck.?

I have just accepted an offer on my mid terraced 3 bed. I am single now live on my own. Lived here with my parents. I had to have a firm offer on my property before I can apply for a shared ownership bungalow 5 miles away. I missed two for that reason. Daughter of present owner, who is now in a care home, has been holding it for me. I t is near the school I used to work in and I know a few local people. It is near a bus and train station. The village I live in has bad public transport. I drive but if I can't I am stuck.

It is shared ownership but that does not worry me as I only have distant relations. I just have to fill certain criteria only concern is savings as you must not have enough money yo buy a bungalow outright which I don't. Owners daughter had a valuation yesterday so I am waiting to hear. Part owner has to agree with this and approve me. Fingers crossed.

artdecogran, I am sorry for your lost, so recent and yet you are already being pressured into decisions.

When FiL died, my MiL was told by someone not to make any major decisions for a year, and I think that is very good advice. Give yourself time to recover from the shock of your DH's death, and it is a shock, even when expected. The housing market, is in the doldrums at the moment, so not a good time to be selling anyway.

Give yourself time to find out how you manage in familiar surroundings without your DH's support. This time next year, you may well decide to move but you will have had plenty of time to consider what you want to do, rather than what your DSs think you ought to do. Do not make a hasty decision that you later regret.

Artdecogran I am so sorry. How really, really awful for you. You’ve got so much to cope with bereavement, grief, loneliness, fear, disability and a well meaning family who are truly concerned for you. Although you are in a difficult place this is not the time to make decisions that you, your son and his wife and the other sons might later come to regret. It’s understandable that you feel scared. Stay as focused as possible and resist being influenced until you feel mentally ready to make the right decision. Listen and wait. Good luck. Xx

It’s so interesting to read and learn from others. Thanks for raising the LPA score. I have buried my head in the sand on that issue. We will not have a big choice when it comes to areas although it has to be almost flat. At the moment we have serious slopes in every direction. Also my OH was born just up the road and I have lived in the area my entire adult life . We love our routes and identity. We have chosen 2 villages that we could live in a max of five miles from here and on bus routes. We just have to be patient and wait until our property is sold. Here’s hoping it’s not too stressful. Oh, forgot to mention we have two dogs and two cats and they’ll be moving with us (they’re our babies!). Good luck to all of you , we all seem in a similar boat. It’s nice we can help each other. ?

So sorry to hear of your loss artdecogran. It’s early days, don’t do anything hasty, you must still be all over the place. From the outside looking in, I would think about using some of the money from your house sale and maybe have a granny flat type accommodation at your son’s house if this is viable. Then you will have your own space but will have assistance if you need it, and you’ll be able to help with your disabled grandchild if you are able.

I do hope all goes well for you, very best wishes.

I read the replies with great interest as my husband died 10 weeks ago and I am left in a 4 bed house on my own. He put a lot of effort into it during the last 13 years but my 3 sons want me to move. I am nearly 60 but have mobility problems and health issues that make me scared to be on my own sometimes. I am feeling under pressure to move to somewhere smaller or to buy another house and move in with my son who has a disabled child. The house has taken two huge skips so far to empty of all my husbands tools etc and it is starting to feel empty. What would you do?

Surely, it’s the norm to sell your house before putting in an offer on another one, Paddyann.

How will this work out for you, I’m wondering.