Grandaughter scared of my 2 dogs

As a small child I was bitten in the face and had a lifelong fear of dogs. People would blame me for their dogs being aggressive (he can smell your fear). Years later I got less fearful but only with dogs I got to know and trusted. Being scared of dogs did really impact badly on me. When my husband got his first guide dog (several decades after he lost his sight completely) I knew I had to sort out my relationship with this dog (who was a cheeky one...first thing he did on first meeting was to goose me, which didn't bode well). I did, and he was a great dog. I still wouldn't take him for walks (not because of him, but because of other dogs that might approach). If kids visited, even though the dog was very calm and reliable I really understood that fear and would shut him in the kitchen. Put your grandchild first. Fear is an overwhelming emotion, especially for kids.

I never thought of that, Sodapop.

Can the little girl be persuaded at least not to scream? The method is not to reward a child's counter productive behaviour, and ignore it, but to praise every little advance towards sensible behaviour. Everybody would prefer their child to be safe around animals, and hysterical behaviour makes animals nervous.

A very revealing post Lucky

Let's just hope the grandchildren don't stay too long then Alexa or the dogs will be incarcerated for days.

Dogs are definitely not your thing Lucky...do cats float your boat maybe?

I wasn't kept away from dogs - my parents did exactly what some posters have suggested and got me a "nice little puppy" - god, how I hated the beastly thing! I used to go round to my friend's place to get away from it. It used to bite my ankles and get in the way of any game I might have wanted to play by fussing and jumping all over me. It grew to be a ten ton monstrosity.

I remember the relief when it died - and that I heard that naughty word beginning with F for the first time when the council men came to take the body away - it was jolly (f*******) heavy, according to them!

During my professional life, which involved home visiting, I have been slobbered on, bitten, had one sit on my lap (darn great thing), had one piss in my handbag etc. etc. I came to the conclusion that the more problematical the family, the bigger and more numerous were the dogs. I used to ring up families and tell them that if they wanted my help they must lock up their dog while I was there.

I agree children before dogs.
It's always better for a child to be able to deal with life events such as dogs (or spiders ) and even better for the child when she learns to enjoy.

I'd keep the dogs and child entirely separate for everyone's sake, dogs included, until such time as the child learns to deal with or even enjoy your dogs' company. Put dogs in a cage in another room or shut them up where the child cannot see or hear them.

Phew! Feel out of breath now....

I agree newnanny...i think that keeping the dogs completely away from the little girl is counter productive as it will likely feed into her anxiety as it reinforces that there is a reason to be afraid. Many of the gransnetters on this threat talk about their life long fear of dogs and im sure that some (not all I'm sure) were themselves kept away from dogs, meaning that they were not given the opportunity to change their mindset, hence the lifelong fear! Unfortunately fears can escalate into phobias which without attention can get bigger and becomes a very unpleasant, confidence sapping, anxiety producing state of being that just isnt cool. I have personally overcome a phobia of flying (almost) which is not the worst as it just stops me having lovely holidays but it does give me a glimpse into the crippling fear that can literally send me into awful blind panic. As a wise gn posted dogs are EVERYWHERE so I do think that rather than risking fear at every street corner a gentle, systematic introduction to the dogs might be a good thing. I wonder whether walking the dogs together would be sensible first step. Your gd seems to be screaming when there is a chance of being confronted face to face with the dogs so keeping them initially at a distance and on a lead whilst on a walk might be a good starting point gradually getting closer to her and just walking naturally at her side without particularly drawing her attention to the fact that shes close to them and its all ok. Once she's happy to go for a walk with them then you could possibly pass the lead to her (maybe a long retractable lead would be best as you can shortern it over time. Ultimately, the aim is for your gd to be in control and more importantly to FEEL in control. Anyway Moo moo you understand how desensitization works and know your dogs and gd so can decide what will work best for you. What I would suggest though is that you enlist the support of your daughter so that you are singing from the same songsheet.

Incidentally, as a child i was bitten by a boxer (not the human sort) while on holiday in Austria and did for a time feel afraid of dogs, but as a farming kid surrounded by dogs and ever changing animals of all sorts i just had to get on with it. It does perhaps explain my fear of flying to 'dangerous' foreign countries though (wink).

Good luck Moo..dogs are not for everyone, and that's fine too, but a companeable relationship with a dog can be wonderfully enriching so i think its right to persevere, albeit at a gentle pace that doesnt cause her additional distress.

My dgs was 4 when we got dog. We got Llassa Apso too and very sweet and good natured breed. My dgs was afraid. It turned out a dog had jumped up, knocked him over and stood over him at the park. It was over a year before and my dd thought he would not have remembered the incident. I told him we would teach our dogvto do a trick and he could help me to train her. He was happy to throw a ball for dogvto chase and i got dog to bring it back to me and dgs threw dog a small treat. Once dog fetching ball well i told my dd in front of dgs how well he had trained my dog and how kuch my dog liked him. My dog gave dgs a Xmas gift too. Bit by bit dgs became less afraid. I only ever allowed dog to be near dgs when on lead and with me. I would put dog in crate or in another room when dgs came to visit. Now dgs comes in asking to nake dog do his trick. He is no longer afraid of dog but I still keep dog on lead. He also shakes dogs paw now. Small steps and let child feel in control.

Cussed dog?

So you are not afraid of dogs then Luckygirl you just have an intense dislike then? And anyway I said your ‘fear’ in my post.

Crossed posts Luckygirl

I think if you walked past a house and a hidden dog barked very loudly and suddenly, you would jump out of your skin regardless of whether you were afraid of dogs or not!

I jumped out of my skin not because of my dislike of dogs, but because of the sudden unexpected loud noise, which happened to have come from a dog. If the cussed dog had not been there, then neither would the noise.

Luckygirl has just proven my first point. Her fear of dogs could have cost her dear.

Fear of dogs needs to be treated as she will meet these in everyday life. Unless her parents are content for her to carry this fear throughout her life.

Fear of dogs ought not to be confused with dislike of dogs. That is a separate issue.

One of my keyboard pupils was very wary of my dogs at first. She would squeal and run away. Even when they were in another room she was always asking where they were.

That was a year ago. Gradually she has accepted that they mean her no harm and she will now be in the same room as them.

I'm afraid of dogs after one or two incidents with them. I don't want to be near one ever. My granddaughter had a fear of dogs when she was small but loves them now. Maybe your granddaughter will bet better with them when she's older.

Jan16 I didn't notice a 'dog hater' in any of the replies just people who don't want a dog, or who have fears of dogs, some particularly understandable if you read all the thread. You obviously like dogs, it doesn't mean people who don't are 'dog haters'. I personally think it's irresponsible owners who should take the blame for the fears people have. How can a dog attack a small child leaving that child with a lifetime phobia as we have read here? That is the fault of the owner! The OP says her dogs are fussy and jump up at her GC. If she is serious about helping her GD, she should stop them doing that immediately and train them properly. Some dog owners just can't be bothered. Having said that, my friend trained his dog properly and treated it like a dog (not a spoilt child!). It was well loved by all the family but in old age, and no doubt getting a bit cantankerous, it once snapped at him. With regret, it was put down as he wouldn't take the chance of it biting any of his GC.

Do not ask the parent why the child is frightened of dogs. It is unlikely they will know, anymore than the child may, if it is a phobia.

Just accept that she doesn't like dogs and leave it at that. She is far more likely to overcome her fear, if everyone just accepts it and protects hewr rom them.

Out on my walk down the lane just now, and as I passed one house a hidden dog very suddenly barked extremely loudly - I nearly jumped out of my skin! - I am glad there were no cars coming down the lane or I would have been marmalade. Another reason why I do not like them!!!

My DD was scared by a friend's Border Terrier and then by a family friend's Alsatian when small. it was only when her friend got a dog and she went with them to the RSPCA to help chose it that she began to lose her fear! She has a Jack Russell now! Go gently and don't expect her to change immediately.

Moo moo keep at it I am sure u will resolve this u sound a lovely Caring lady google it spk to Yr vet there r people out there that cud advise

Iam64 at last someone who talks sense!

Iam64, agreed that our pets are part of the family and I can't imagine giving one away. They are perfectly happy (once they are used to it) on the other side of a gate if there's small kids or unfamiliar adults in the house. I say that all dogs do pose a small danger anyway, especially to those who are unaware of how to behave near them.

I have one friend who's just not relaxed with a dog in the room. She's OK, though, if the dog is tied on a lead so can't actually reach her. She's also fine when we're all out walking.