Looking for impartial advice

That’s great ‘@Pearl63’ I am so glad that you have opened your mind to the many options that exist.. one of these options will help you realise your dream. You don't need to let go of the family home to achieve your dream, just rent it on the basis that in the future you will have the choice to go home or stay longer in town or maybe sell but that’s way down the road. Right now you have options so be strong and follow your heart, if you are not happy you can always go home but at the same time this could be the awakening you have been waiting for so take that step; feel the fear and do it anyway, everything will be just fine

Thank you both, I agree Bussy I do feel obliged to put what my family want first (think I over compensate for my own childhood) but that has been my choice and my children are lovely adults who we are both very close to and they would never stand in the way of what I wanted, I think I am just a real worrier ( my husband developed a potentially serious illness a couple of years ago which is hopefully under control and he is doing well but I think it has brought home to me never to assume we always have a tomorrow) ,
Just having others to bounce this off has really helped so thank you all so much, as 2 bedrooms in the city are a premium it has just occurred to me we could buy a one bedroom which we could rent out till we retired move into and rent out our home, if we didn’t like the city we could move back and rent out the flat to give us some nice retirement income , I am going to bounce this off my husband tonight when he is home from work, just talking this through seems to have sharpened my thoughts ( means the family security blanket is still in place ?)

I would be with Septimia ‘@Pearl63’ I’m thinking could you rent out your own home for say a period of two years this will give you the income to rent somewhere in town. This temporary solution means you have a way back to your family home if you want it in the future. I think that life is short and many of us have wishes, dreams, aspirations that we never fulfill because of responsibilities, fear, lack of money, lack of support etc to do so. It sounds like you have lived for a long time fulfilling your families needs and this is now time for you to pursue a dream that you have. You have the support of your DH and realistically you are moving only a small way away. If this has been a dream of yours go for it, you deserve to experience life in many different ways this is your time. You will still see GD. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to follow your own desires do it before health worries or other worries set in. Life is too short to be afraid of change and in my own experience if it is in our hearts desire then it is never as awful as we think or imagine it is going to be.

It was an option we had talked about but I could not travel to work from the city so would need to retire earlier than planned (we are lucky that we are looking to retire in 15 months) and although our remaining mortgage is very small I worry that even with a good price for our house if we want a city property with that wow factor we may need to either use some of our savings or take out a small mortgage which to get the best rates we would need to take out whilst employed.
The style type of property we want to buy would be very expensive to rent and I don’t know if I would get a true impression of city living if not in the area/property type I really want.
You can tell I am tying myself in knots here thinking is every side ?

Can you afford to rent something small - perhaps a studio flat - for a short while to try out living in the city? You could treat it like a holiday home and it would give you a chance to see if it works.