Whatever will a toddler say next.

She'll get her own back one day !

When DGD was about 3 and a bit she went to the loo and when DH asked, from the other side of the door, what was taking so long (he wanted to go) she said she was having a safety poo.

DH wasn't sure what she meant by a "safety poo" he asked her what made it different from any other time.

Big sigh "well mummy is talking to granny and she'll be ages so I thought I'd have a safety poo because if mummy is in a hurry I have to have an urgency poo"

OK said OH, still not sure what DGD was talking about but carried on trying to get some clarity.

Her reply was "it's like when we are going out, mummy tells me to have a safety wee even if I don't feel like having one. Because she doesn't want to have to find somewhere when we are out for me to have an emergency wee"

"So, more sighs, mummy will be talking for ages and won't be hurrying me up I thought I'd have a safety poo."

Simple really wasn't it :-)

How many of us can remember saying to out children about "go before you leave" :-) Funny the different way children make sense of what we tell them.

When my eldest son was in infant school, I used to collect him in the car. I had other younger children and it was always a bit noisy and loud. My son was full of the day but I had to concentrate on driving so usually asked what he had for lunch so I could listen ‘with half an ear’. He told me that he had eaten a lovely cake with pretty colour ‘worms’ on top. Oh, said I, hundreds and thousands? Oh no came the response. Just a few!!

My 4 year old grandson was told to put his hat and coat on as they had to go move the car. It was dark and cold and he protested long and loudly. In the end my daughter was very firm. Gson said "I want you to know I'm only doing this because you told me too. For no other reason". O-kay....

@allsorts. That’s brilliant. Makes perfect sense really. Made me giggle. I may start to use these expressions. X

I have two daughters, the elder is quite bossy and opinionated at times the younger is stubborn but quiet. (the elder is deaf but lip read so well that for a long time despite me saying I thought she had a problem - it wasn’t picked up on by health professionals or teachers, hence her being louder and direct/bossy in her tone)
I howled and choked at supper this evening when the elder turned to the younger during a conversation and accused her of being bossy!

Allsorts my GD has a 'make sure' before we go out.

We all use the same expression before we go out now!

Allsorts and Grannybags, we have a 'just in case'.
Which must have been passed down, as I can remember my Grandma saying it to me.

My 4yr old DGS was having a wee a couple of weeks ago and said, “ Nan I’m really worried about my kidneys!”Whwn ain’t asked why on earth that was so he replied “ you must know it’s a leap year Nan, that means they’ve got to WORK AN EXTRA DAY!! “ ?

Sorry, ‘ when I asked ‘ . Spellcheck!

My son once needed the toilet when we were out and said, 'Mummy, can we find a loo because my bottom's heavy.'

It was his standard expression from then on whenever he need to poo.

Now I'm in my seventies , I always have a just in case poo or wee before I go out. Second childhood.

Talking of poo - that is all my 4 year old GS talks about at the moment - I am told it is a phase - I hope so. I had girls and they did not do this.

Talking about heavy bottoms, my friend from Yorkshire used to say: "Must go to the loo - I've got a nasty taste in my bottom"!

Gdd1 when barely 3 (IIRC) came out with ‘Heil Hitler!’ at nursery - complete with raised arm!
Dd had to explain that she’d been enjoying The Sound Of Music lately.
Luckily nursery staff just found it hilarious.

When still only 2, and playing with the toy kitchen at nursery, one of the staff asked what she was doing.
‘I’m having a glass of wine.’ ?

My son, when asked what he had eaten for school dinner said "orange footprints" took us several weeks until we found out it was ravioli.
One of the dinner ladies later told me that he was asked why he didn't finish his scotch egg - his reply was that he didn't like the egg, but he loved the scotch!!!

Our almost 3 yr old DGS is resisting any attempts at toilet training, although is able to tell us how many pee pees are in his nappy at changing time. Suspicious noises and smells are also claimed as being "clean farts!" He's so sweet!!!

Love the things children say. My daughter and son in law were discussing getting an air fryer and my 11 yr old grandson pipes up 'why would anyone want to fry air' ??

When I have DGS2 who is 23 months I am up at 6 and by the time I have dropped DD2 at work and we have arrived at the shopping centre about 9, the first place I visit is the loo and as soon as we enter this little blonde charmer shouts "Wee wee! Wee wee!" all the way to the facilities! Then when I am finished it's " Gra Gra fee fee wipe!' Good job I am a nurse and these things don't embarrass me.

Thingmajig Speaking about things in nappies.

My toddler son used his nappy as a handy carry-all. When he needed changing there'd be a couple of toy cars, some Lego and a half-eaten (undigested of course) slice of apple.

I used to keep a bowl of Dettol beside the changing table and just dropped everything in.

I don't know how he coped with the discomfort. I wouldn't be able to walk about with that lot in my knickers.

When my daughter was about 5/6, and asked by the teacher what the children had done over the weekend, she said that her Nanna & Granddad had got married. The teacher replied (a bit cheekily, in my opinion ) "About time!"

My in-laws had just celebrated a wedding anniversary!

My mother-in-law was mortified!