Where to move to

If you want to be with him then you really should stay put for now. If you start chasing across country to be near someone ( family or not) that you don’t actually live with you may live to regret it. Just stay where you are for the time being would be my advice.

I agree with nonogran.

Does your daughter want you to be nearer to her? Just saying because my DD loves me for a day or two and then gets heartily sick of me or needs her own space and I feel spare.

Nor not not.

One of things you need to ask yourself is how much do you love your partner? When my husband died I felt and still feel half of me is missing. He died 16.5 years ago. Never wanted not needed another man in my life. He was my one any only. I was 45 and he was 47 when he died.

Would you feel this way if you parted ? If the answer is no then move if you want to . But move because you feel it is right for you not just to be nearer family.
Weigh up all the pros and cons.

I also like the list idea.

Nonogran, I like the sound of your solution. I like my own space.... but there is a limit. Sounds good, I might drop it in our discussions.

In your shoes I would move. Your partner has his own place so you could split your time between both homes? My chap lives over 2 hours away so we have lovely times together at mine, he goes back to his place and I follow by car or train (as our diaries & family concerns dictate) a few days or couple weeks later. I love the change of scene at his place but also like being on my own for short periods too. No cooking or cleaning up after a bloke & when I go to his, he cooks & takes care of me. This routine works for us, being together but living apart. Could you manage something similar? You don't have to be joined at the hip. Do what your head tells you, we only have one life.

I would begin by doing exactly what you are doing: canvassing opinions from strangers and from people who know you well.
List, as oopsadaisy says
Flip a coin, and see how you feel about the result.
Ask your partner how you could make things work.

And another thought:
If you can, rent your dwelling out, and rent a place near your daughter - a good idea anyway so you can look around. See how a long-distance relationship might (or might not) work; see if you like the area as much as you think; see how your partner feels about visiting you there. You will have burned no bridges - unless your partner is annoyed at the idea, and that might give you pause for thought.

A distant aunt of mine kept her own house when she entered into a long term relationship in her 60s. Her partner kept his house as well, and they shuttled between their 'town' and 'country' houses for about 20 years until old age caught up with them, and by which time their children and grandchildren were at different life stages.

If you move it will be your decision about your life. He's been honest about the decision he would make about his life.

So I don't see why the OP should resent him not doing what she wants. The decision is hers alone.

Sometimes we can't have it all. ?

Tricky then.

Who makes you happier , your family or him?
Don’t forget you will need to make your own friends if you move and not rely on family, however it could be a new and exciting time, with extra money thrown in!

Write a list of all pros and cons of staying or going.

If he still refuses though I think that you will end up resenting him for it

I love lists......

thank you oopsadaisy, he doesn't have a claim in my property at all. He has his own place but stays with me most of the time. Yes my daughter could move again but I like the area she is going to,alot friendlier than here, but I get your point. What I really want is my partner to change his mind.... but alas he is a hard rock to move.

One of the problems with hitching your wagon to your daughters family is that in a couple of years they might move again.

Could you downsize and remove that stress anyway? Maybe 3 hours from both families?

You say that it’s your house, but without a chat to a Solicitor I wouldn’t be sure that your partner won’t have a claim on it too.