Contemplating a big move - advice and experiences please

We are in the throes of moving from South London to Petersfield, Hants - it seems lovely - I’m hoping it will be!

Should have added that my rural Midlands area is near a town with with a wonderful provincial theatre (in normal times they often partner with major London ones) and 2 independent cinemas; out in the sticks we have a number of excellent music festivals, and some very high quality 'amateur' theatre. We have one high quality Literary Festival, and one up-and-coming. Loads of independent shops with great food, drink and art & craft.

I'm not sure how familiar you are with getting around in the South. I think that the whole area around London /M25 presents a big traffic barrier.
You don't say which Northern city - but I would always try to think heading to the west of the M25 for journeys as anything to the east locks you into traffic.
However, this may be irrelevant if you are intending to journey by train.

I'm not completely sure what you mean by 'gay friendly'. If you mean places and clubs / societies with a definite gay focus, I can't really help. But if you mean simple acceptance, I think there are few places you wouldn't be. I live in a quiet rural area where there have always been a few gay couples (even before we used the term 'gay') and no-one thinks anything of it. There seems a 'city perception' that rural areas aren't very welcoming of people who are 'different'. My experience is exactly the opposite, especially of people who take an active roles, as you describe. In a small community you get to know people as individuals.

Could you re-consider being by the sea? Depending on the money you have available, I think you may find anywhere around the South Coast unaffordable (if not, ignore the next bit!) However, there are lost of lovely places by rivers or lakes where you can swim and enjoy an 'outdoor' life.
I don't like to post on a public forum too much detail about where I live but if you can let go of the sea, I would suggest looking around some parts of the rural Midlands: cheaper houses, some decent train connections, some lovely countryside, including rivers and lakes.

Life isnt a rehearsal. Cancer smacked me in the face last July completely out of the blue. Get your house sold and get down to within 30 minutes of Brighton. It’s a fantastic city. Dont wait and wonder.

When you are looking, think well ahead - how will it be for you in 10 or 20 years time, when you may no longer be able to drive for all sorts of reasons.
So, close to good public transport links, both locally (buses) and to large cities (trains). You need to be within easy reach of Doctors, Pharmacies, Supermarkets, local hospital, etc.

Would you be able to get about with ease if either of you develop any sort of mobility problem (might even need to use mobility scooter).

So, nowhere with too many steps up to front door. Then obviously, to think if you can afford the area. Somewhere like Brighton or Hove is so very expensive. Lots of other places on South Coast can provide better facilities in which to settle and grow older, than Brighton - which is very much a student and young peoples city.

South West can provide a lot of desirable places, with good road, rail and air links, close to sea, warmer and better weather, etc. etc.

Having lived all my life in London suburbs, I moved here to Weston super Mare just before my 79th birthday. Yes, I do have one of my adult children living here, so had visited the town on many occasions. Good to have a look at anywhere you are thinking of going at different times of the year, particularly those that are tourist hot-spots. Ensure it still has a good atmosphere and life during other seasons. I am just so pleased I settled here just prior to this last Pandemic year occured. Love living on one level in a flat, so close to theatre, library, museum, cinemas, (when they are open), as well as High Street shops, Beach and Park. Can get to hospital either on my scooter, in my car or on bus when necessary, lovely pharmacy less than five minutes away and GP surgery within easy reach. Bus stop outside the flats, train station (with trains running to Bristol and Paddington) less than half a mile away. What could be better -and my London house sold for more than double what I paid for my roomy 2-bedroom, 2 bathroom flat.

I am more practical and think you should be looking for somewhere near food shops, GP and dentist. Compared with other areas, Hastings is a lot cheaper- I am not sure why. My sister in law lives close to there but where she lives is incredibly hilly.

Lovely as Brighton is, car parking is a nightmare and the prices I think are fairly expensive.

Good luck.

Of course Brighton and the surrounding environs are the obvious choice - Worthing is cheaper and up and coming apparently!

I recently visited Hastings and that's worth a look.

Hi mwdebbie I live exactly where you want to be, apparently, walking distance from the sea on the south coast. It's noticeably much warmer than elsewhere, (I've lived all over England) so no snow for us. I think winters are lovely, and I walk the dogs on the beach every morning. Most towns are quite geared up for the retired, and Brighton and Chichester are full of life (but more expensive). Brighton is a nightmare if you're a car owner, absolutely nowhere to park. Excellent public transport along the coast, both bus and train.
As I said I've lived all over, but returned to S Coast a few years before I retired, because I love it here.

How about East Anglia? Property may be cheaper than the south coast and Stanstead is not too far away.

I should add that my friend is also house hunting and went for a look around Brighton - she was very saddened by the huge amount of homeless people on almost every available bench. She has settled on Lymington and hopes to find somewhere in the spring, she will have to drive back to London to see her grandchildren and enjoyed the drive through the New Forest.

I live in Northumberland wanted to go coastal south, but unfortunately my £250K budget was too low for a bungalow. I visited both Kent and East Devon last August/September. I would recommend having a look at Exmouth in Devon. Quite hilly, nice atmosphere there, I did feel safe on my own. Has a railway station which goes to Exeter with connections to London etc, a main road into Exeter, good bus service, Exeter airport about ten miles away. The beach front is very built up, but the estuary is full of beautiful wildlife. Just along the coast is Budleigh Salterton, then Sidmouth. I'd have liked to have moved there, but couldn't afford the areas I wanted to live in near The Avenues.

My parents retired to live by the sea. It was so lovely to be near the beach in the summer - but in winter the damp, cold, wind etc. is made far worse by the lack of shelter. That sea mist is depressing.

The influx of summer visitors made parking difficult, local shops busy, the beach noisy and crowded, yet, in winter, it was eerily like a ghost town, as the (mainly elderly) locals stayed indoors and many shops shut out of season.

You seem to have your criteria well thought out, though, so just make sure that the local facilities aren't just seasonal. All the best!

Oh Hove is wonderful, if price isn't an issue. All the benefits of Brighton without the noise and bother. And nice and close to a major airport.

I would move to Hove in a heartbeat if I could.

Chichester is Arty and the area interesting- though I do know it's expensive.

Have you looked at (say) train journeys from London that take around an hour? You may find some areas are easier than you think as on some "fast" lines you are quite a long way out in 60 mins.

Sussex is lovely but as others have implied more expensive than some other coastal areas. Chichester and surrounds is pretty and of course has/a fab theatre and art gallery. I can't say if it would be considered gay friendly. Brighton/Lewes is lively and certainly would be thought gay friendly. Horsham, not coastal, is a busy town and not too far to get to the coast or the airport (Gatwick)

I live in a little place called Thornton. We are close to the coast, between Blackpool and Fleetwood. I love the coast, I would not live anywhere else now. We can travel to Lancaster, Morecambe and the South Lakes in absolutely no time from here. We also have the Trough of Bowland on our doorstep. It is a great place to retire to. Incidentally, Blackpool has a sizeable gay population.

keepingquiet is right... look at the finances. You may get a nasty shock. I’m moving from a remote area of Cumbria with low property prices to a less remote area of Cumbria to be more accessible to my family in Surrey...among other reasons. I briefly looked at Surrey property. It seems I would be swapping a 4 bedroom bungalow with a large garden and great sea views for a 1 bed apartment plus an extra £50K outlay. Needless to say, it was very briefly considered!

Why not Scarborough? Lovely spot by the sea, complete with theatre and a fraction of the price of Sussex.

You live in a large northern city? If it's Yorkshire why go anywhere lol? I would do a financial appraisal first as Sussex will be more expensive.

Brighton is very easy access for London and Gatwick, has a hospital for work, loads going on and is very gay-friendly.
If Brighton is not for you, most Sussex coast towns should meet your criteria. I admit I don't live there, this is from visiting as I live south of London.