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House and home

Is it possible for a house to be too tidy?

(100 Posts)
varian Mon 21-Jun-21 19:08:11

We recently visited an aquaintance who had moved house some months ago. He is an elderly widower with children and grand children. He is very well off.

His new house was lovely, very tasteful like a house from a magazine but it was incredibly tidy.

There were no plants, very few books, virtually no ornaments except for a few carefully chosen antiques, hardly any pictures, no family photos or momentoes.

It was pristine and elegant which was obviously how he wanted it to be, but it did not seem at all homely.

tictacnana Tue 22-Jun-21 10:45:20

If there are children, then yes, a house can be too tidy. I know of people who only allow one toy or book at a time to be played with at any time. I’ve seen how the children struggle with the frustration of this. When mine were at home our house was always untidy and that’s how it was when I was at home with my parents. I think all these programmes and expert advice on decluttering and tidiness are quite damaging in that they stunt children’s creativity and can cause behaviour problems.

Arty2 Tue 22-Jun-21 10:47:45

Maybe the gent makes more time for his humans than items!

Growing0ldDisgracefully Tue 22-Jun-21 10:53:54

My house resembles the town tip, not for want of trying on my part for years but I admitted defeat some while back against the tide of stuff the household has, collects and uses. My sister-in-law is the opposite, extremely OCD about tidiness to the extent that if you got up from your seat, eg to go to the loo, she'd be patting the cushions into shape behind you. She apparently was known to exit her bedroom, which had a deep shag pile carpet, on her hands and knees, raking the rug behind her. She visited our house on one occasion, looked down her nose at me, and said (in best Hyacinth Bucket mode) "I don't know how you can live like this". Just rude.

harrigran Tue 22-Jun-21 11:08:10

That is my idea of a dream home.

icanhandthemback Tue 22-Jun-21 11:23:11

I wish I could achieve that!!!

pen50 Tue 22-Jun-21 11:33:58

"Is it possible for a house to be too tidy?"

Never, chez nous. It's a permanent tip. Too much stuff, too little space. We're hoping to move soon which will give us a little more room, but I really need to do some very heavy duty de-cluttering.☹️.

Alis52 Tue 22-Jun-21 11:35:22

I knew an elderly widower like that. He seemed happy and I think the lack of clutter he has made cleaning easier for him. If he’s happy then there’s no problem. Tbh I dream of a house like that at the moment - I’m living with 3 students and all their clutter plus a very untidy DH and it’s driving me mad!

Petalpop Tue 22-Jun-21 11:38:14

I love my house to look lived in and it is my house and that is how I like. It gets cleaned when I get the urge or visitors are coming but I would not consider it dirty. The hoover does earn its keep as we have a dog and two cats otherwise we would be up to our knees in fur. We have a lovely big kitchen extension but it does not look sterile like so many you see on the TV or in the magazines, Yes it is lovely but as I look round I can see kitchen essentials are on the worktops, half read books on the island plus a dogs cone of shame (as she has just been speyed) DH football chart for the Euros, glasses cases, tray, the list goes on. I must admit if I get a call from a friend in a few minutes who wants to pop round I would be stuffing a lot of it in the drawers. I did scoot round the front room this morning having a tidy which is insane because I only did it because the builders are here laying a new driveway and they might look in the window - how stupid is that.

Tiggersuki Tue 22-Jun-21 11:42:04

If only!
Maybe he'd like to move in with me for a few days and tidy up after my husband who reckons he can't see the mess he leaves.
Though I don't actually crave super tidy just having the place properly clean and tidy would be nice for a change.

Lupin Tue 22-Jun-21 11:57:52

Each to his/her own I suppose. It's not my style to be so tidy and elegant like that. I feel uncomfortable in a very neat space.
If it's what he likes and his guests are not afraid to move about then fine.

Aepgirl Tue 22-Jun-21 12:22:47

I could never be accused of having a house that’s ‘too tidy’, but I know what you mean Varian as I have a friend with a ‘show’ house. I just wonder where she keeps things that aren’t on show, but can’t be thrown away.

4allweknow Tue 22-Jun-21 12:28:21

Whatever keeps you happy. I had quite a young work colleague once and on being invited to her house one day discovered just how neat and tidy she was. On going into the kitchen with her to make a snack there was absolutely nothing on any work surface. Kettle, toaster both in a cupboard. No washing up bowl, detergent, soap, - all hidden in cupboards. Tea and hand towel inside of cupboard door. I thought her sitting room was 'bare' but the kitchen was unbelievable.

Peasblossom Tue 22-Jun-21 12:32:19

There’s “living clutter” like the newspaper and the knitting and then there’s just clutter. The living clutter gets tidied up if someone is coming.

But I hate what people call “homely clutter”. Layers of stuff. I don’t understand the sofa layered with throws and cushions or the shelf so full that you can’t actually see the things that are on it.

Like the gentleman in the original post I would rather have a few car3fully chosen ornaments and be or two pictures that I love and can really see and appreciate.

I’m afraid stuff just makes me feel overwhelmed and depressed.

Shelagh6 Tue 22-Jun-21 12:34:11

No - I wish mine was!

Buttonjugs Tue 22-Jun-21 12:35:03

My late father used to be really tidy and everything had a place. But he rarely actually cleaned anything. I hated staying there because it was mucky.

Lin52 Tue 22-Jun-21 12:35:28

Each to their own way of living, at least he’ll be able to find things easily. I like to be tidy, but don’t worry if a mess is made either, soon clears up.

Notright Tue 22-Jun-21 12:49:05

A house is not a home until it looks as thought it's being lived in.

Purplepixie Tue 22-Jun-21 12:53:40

That is up to him and not up to you. We are all different and why does it bother you so much? If his place was a dirty tip then you would moan about that as well. Each to their own.

hollysteers Tue 22-Jun-21 12:59:35

‘Elegant’ you say? That sounds ok, but a room without books has no soul. I like my wall of books and always wonder about people who look as if they never read…
I’m surrounded by clutter, some things I love, but I inherited many Victorian items from my late husband’s family and should really get on with getting rid of some of them.
I remember hearing about a family who were refused an adoption as their house was too tidy and therefore seen as not child friendly. Unbelievable.

Mistyfluff8 Tue 22-Jun-21 13:04:03

I knew a Health Visitor who had serious concerns about 2 young children who lived in a house like that NO Toys insight

Peasblossom Tue 22-Jun-21 13:12:10

Well, yes, you’d be worried about a house with children and no toys. But why would you be concerned about an elderly gentleman with a few books, some treasured antiques, a couple of pictures and no knickknacks?

Sounds like he’s got all he needs. Most of my books are on the Kindle. They’re for reading, not for show ?

Alioop Tue 22-Jun-21 13:17:01

I'm very like him, my worktop in the kitchen only has a kettle on it, that's it. My friend's say I'm OCD, but I just like no mess, with very few things sitting about, it's far easier to dust and keep clean. I've floor to ceiling larder cupboards in my kitchen and built in sliderobes in my bedrooms and they hide everything out of the way. I like living this way, but understand some may think it's too much.

Tanjamaltija Tue 22-Jun-21 13:23:00

Minimalist. If he likes it, who's to complain? Less housework.

fuseta Tue 22-Jun-21 13:36:55

I have a wall in my dining room that is full of framed family phots and there are 2 guitars propped up against the wall, as my husband plays. My DD and SIL have a very tidy house with nothing out of place and my GS loves coming to mine where he can relax and do messy play. I once brought some cales round to GS's house and as we were eating them SIL was hoovering around us even before we had finished!

Kartush Tue 22-Jun-21 13:39:36

I know what you mean, but some people find the simplicity and order comforting. I have to admit no one will ever say that about my house though ?