Help calm me. House buying and selling stress

The advice given to me by 2 different Estate Agents was to tidy but not refurbish the cottage prior to sale. They reckoned that potential buyers would want a 'do it upper' and that a newly installed kitchen, etc, would increase the price while probably not being to their taste. This turned out to be the case.

Not so the sellers of my flat, who have installed a brand new cooker, fridge freezer, washer/dryer and shower and carpeted, painted throughout in neutral shades. This suits me fine because after all the stresses of decluttering and moving I am perfectly content to leave well alone for the present. Once my furniture, nick knacks and pictures were in place, the flat looks very much my own.

Yogi have you got an actual completion date yet?

Shandy do keep us up to date as to how you are getting on with insurance claim, roofers, etc. I know you said you did not want to talk about it any more, but we are thinking of you at this troubled time.

Re your question about missing having a car. The answer is Not Really. For my normal day to day activities not at all. Couple of times, I thought to 'pop' over to local kitchen companies to mooch around showrooms, and realised I could not. In the better weather I can get to these on my mobility scooter, but even with warm clothing, do not really like trips more that about ten minutes sitting still on this. I have arranged a short trip to London between Xmas and New Year. Go one day, stay one day, home next day. BUT....this will mean I will see my g.daughter as she will be home from Uni, and another daughter and g.daughter will stop off on their way back home from their visit to Mum-in-law in Yorkshire. So, two daughters and two g.children to see will make that trip very worth while.

Over last weekend, we (the committee), put up the faux tree in the entrance lobby to our flats. We have a large and unusual shaped lobby, and a lovely lady who does the most amazing faux flower arrangements there season by season. The main one of these is situated in front of a large mirror and is always so wonderful, that whenever any of the flats are on sale, the Estate Agents include photos of our entrance lobby.

I will spend Christmas and Boxing day - exactly as I usually do - at the home of my local daughter, and her family (hubbie and four children). when I was living in London, I used to drive down to WsM early on Christmas morning - now, of course, I have a five minutes trundle round to her house. I have been asked to make a cheesecake and some chola bread to add to the far too much food that will be there.

Do not suppose anyone on here is likely to be moving between now and New year, but hope all those in the process are making progress.

Thanks for thinking of me Franbern.

I told my surveyor I had been offered a cash settlement last Friday, and he helped me write a response saying I cannot accept as I still haven't managed to find someone to give me a quote.

I also asked for a breakdown of the cash settlement to see what it included, as well as a schedule of works. When the ceiling is repaired the wet rotten plasterboard which measure 8 x 4 will have to be replaced, so it's more involved than I'd imagined.

I also said that the waterproofing had failed, and I wanted them to send someone urgently.

I got a response saying they would send me the scope of works, and would pay me to find someone to make the place watertight. There isn't anyone, I'm just going to have to live with this for months It's like camping. My surveyor said he'll come round when I receive it, and he'll have another go at sourcing the water coming in - it was as though I was running a bath into the recycling bin.

The insurer's waste contractor turned up yesterday to take the roof/sofa/carpet/roof tiles etc - a young man and a very tiny girl. The young man couldn't lift the roof at all. I'm now waiting for a 4 person team to come.

I'm trying to be more relaxed about it, but when it rains during the night, I just feel scared and of course it's all by candelight which makes it seem worse.

Booster at 3 pm today, I hope I feel OK afterwards, I need to be on the ball.

Have a nice evening

PS I met a lady in the village last night - two trees came down on top of her bungalow, two ceilings in. She's living in an Airbnb in the village, her kids are sorting everything out for her, she can't use a computer. She's here until 11 January then moving into a rental until at least June.

No waste people today and I've just phoned, their offices are now closed I've had to park up the road so they could get the van into the drive, it's so rude not to let me know.

Shandy you poor lady. I really cannot imagine how awful you must be feeling as you try to carry on living in your devastated home. I'm so very sorry for you. What a
miserable situation to be in during the winter months.
I can only say that I hope when, the repairs etc are eventually completed, you will have a beautiful, warm and comfortable home. In the meantime I'm sending you strength to help you get through this.

Thank you Aldom, how nice of you, I'll remember your words when it is fixed and make sure I do make a comfortable home.

Just letting everyone know we completed. Furniture not in as removals can only do this saturday. It's much smaller than our previous home and we quickly realised we will need to freecycle a lot of stuff. Problem with CH boiler looks like we will have to buy electric fire urgently. Boiler not new around 20+years old so will need replacing and it's in kitchen so not ideal. Bit deflated at the moment.

Congratulations kissngate! Fantastic news! I'm toasting you with my cup of tea, wishing you much happiness in your new home.

Shandy - thank you for your kind words. Im sorry to read about all your storm problems, a leaking CH boiler and pipework is a minor issue compared to yours. I should be looking forward to furniture arriving but we are not. Each room seems to have shrunk so our local charity shops and freecycle are going to do well out of us in the New Year.

Kissngate Congratulations of finally making your move. Think your feeling of deflation at present is due to 'anti-'climax'. After so much gearing up for moving, all the trials ad tribulations that this involved, you are 'coming down' now you have finally achieved it. Once your own furniture actually arrives, and you start to put up photos, pictures, etc and making your new home YOUR home, it will start to get you feeling better.

Pity about the boiler, but you must have known the age of it, so were surely expecting this to need replacing. Just think that the new one, once fitted, will be smaller, neater and provide your water and heating at much more economic rate than this old one!!

A new compact home, encourages you to do some re-furnishing, which will be fun once you have picked yourselves up from the stress of the actual move.

Morning all

No completion date yet Fran I'm so very pleased to be here for Xmas, it would have cancelled out Xmas for us if we had moved this week and made it very difficult to take time off work, even a day, aside from the actual moving day, which I would have to have made sure it was a free day. So my lovely tree up, presents wrapped

Enjoy your Xmas days with your DDs & GC Fran in London. I went for a family meal at Cannery Wharf on Sunday. My DD drove, but we parked on the wrong side and had such a walk to the restaurant that my feet, in my little evening shoes, were cut to ribbons! My feet are still recovering today, but it was so very pretty, with all the Xmas lights and fountains.

Shandy I was going to say 'try and stay positive' but it must be so awful for you especially right on Xmas time, but as said; look forward to when it's all done.

Congratulations on your move Kissngate I too am downsizing and no doubt will have to get rid of some of the stuff I've moved with, even though I have already got rid of lots. Enjoy your new home x

Morning Yogi, I am glad you are happy, I hope the New Year brings you a date to work towards. My buyer owned in Canary Wharf and I know it and the walk you had to do, ouch! Aloe vera will help.

I've had a few dry days so it's not been as bad, but when it rains the drumming noise of the water is so loud, I can hear it in the front bedroom even with the door shut. I can't relax in case I've missed a leak and keep getting up to check, it's a nightmare many here are having to endure.

No sign of the waste company yet today, I am going to ring them. The roof is just outside the patio doors and as it's resin side up because of the nails, it's really slippery.

I was thinking about craftyone last night. If you are looking in craftyone, thank you so much for starting this thread. I hope you are well and imagine you sailing down the country lanes on your bike to buy something delicious at the farm shop. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

many many miles away and shandy, something made me look in on here. Guess who I am? new name. I heard you call my name. Strange but I know I am sensitive to intuition

So I have read back and am so very very sorry shandy, such heartache for you after being so very brave, the stress for you is absolutely terrible, try and look forward, one day you will feel cosy and safe and on the way will have learnt so much

I have one question for you shandy, what type of survey did you ask from your surveyor?

About my life since moving, 2 years and 8 months on. I have moved many many heavy piles of rock and stones and rubbish. Very heavy digging, constant over 2 years but it has kept me strong, in spite of my short height. Garden is now complete, 7 small trees, several fruit bushes, veg patch and dozens of roses

Interior, I am 2/3 of the way through getting complete redecoration. painting in soft white eco mineral paint. Had that one previously and love that I can easily touch up and roller vertically. Ceilings and walls all the same paint. I have had to empty every room, managed all of it by myself, roll, slide, felt pads etc

Did a lot of sewing during lockdown and concentrated on losing weight, so much so that I have removed padding from my dressform. Love that I can walk to shops and buses are available. Like childbirth, I have forgotten about the agony of selling, buying and moving

Doing my best to stay away from computer, reading, knitting and still downsizing.I have revisited cupboards, furniture etc for decorating and again quite a bit has been given away. I think this was the third downsizing exercise since moving

Yes I still cycle but now not worried about wearing lycra in spite of age, my body is trimmer

Welcome back Karmalady.
I’m going to need your gardening expertise after Christmas!

So pleased to hear from you karmalady, I've often thought about you and hoped all has been well with you. Lovely to have a post move update from you.

Karmalady!

I am so pleased to hear from you and read your updates. I have also thought of you often and hoped you were keeping well during lockdown.

I am struggling being squeezed into this box but your post has encouraged me.

I know you have parted with precious possessions, so I will bless the charity shop with my three boxes of dismantled antique crystal chandelier. The ceilings are so low here even if I did reconstruct it I'd have to duck. Goodbye chandelier!

Karmalady welcome back . Your clues told me who you are . Will PM to confirm. You have been greatly missed by me for one . Glad to hear you are doing so well. I don't post here very much since you left but Spice kept the thread going.

Karmalady tried to PM you but you aren't accepting messages . It's been 2 years and 4 months since I moved. You kept me sane when everything was going wrong. Thank you for that.

Thanks everyone for good wishes.
Fran - you are right about being deflated we've been under so much stress for months and it's taken its toll. We did know about boiler and was told it worked fine. However we didn't ask a service engineer to check it out and found out today the owners knew it needed replacing a long time ago as it was constantly breaking down. It's a big cumbersome thing in a cupboard in kitchen so will get it replaced ASAP. However it's oil fired so not straight forward as no gas main nearby (semi rural). If we can have hot water over Xmas and buy electric fire for lounge it will keep us going. Also got an electric throw to snuggle under so will keep warm somehow.
Recommendations for oil boilers anyone?

karmalady so nice to hear from you and read that you are continuing with your many hobbies. Little did we know in 2019 what was round the corner! Look at how your thread has grown!

I did have a full L3 RCIS survey

I've just been told I have wet rot in the whole of the front bedroom floorboards, and some kind of water problem that is affecting the other front bedroom, and back bedroom. Not good!

kissngate you can go LPG, but it is more expensive. I had oil and there is normally an oil club the village use, ask your new neighbours if they know of one. I had a 2000 Boulter Cambray oil boiler, was still going strong when I left the station, but I did have to buy a new oil pump. The baffles had also started to deteriorate but the trades here do keep older boilers, they think they are far superior to the newer ones. Good luck

ok shandy,the surveyor is not at fault then as he would not have been able to lift carpets etc. In that case he is going above and beyond and is being very kind and supportive. I was hoping that you had had a full structural survey which would have picked up those dreadful hidden defects but the clock cannot be turned back so the meantra has to be `how to fix it`. You have a good postive attitude and will come out the other side

Can I suggest that you have some damp experts out to do a damp assessment. Obviously there is water below the property, could be a blocked drain or lack of damp proof membrane. Perhaps you have a drain underneath the property and maybe a blockage in that is the cause, whatever the causation it needs to be addressed before repairs

The potential for mould this winter also concerns me shandy and I would consider putting precious things into storage