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Help calm me. House buying and selling stress

(996 Posts)
Spice101 Fri 24-Sep-21 13:39:33

Link to first 8 threads

tinyurl.com/4883ywjs

Thread #9

karmalady Mon 17-Jan-22 09:02:36

yoginmeisje. I bought a cheap laser measure, did a house visit and made diagrams with rough measurements. Then I made scaled drawings on each room on squared paper. The furniture that I absolutely wanted to keep was first, made the scaled cutouts and put them on, shifted them around, bearing in mind doors fireplace windows etc. Doing this certainly helped me with downsizing, for the initial clearout of the big stuff. Re your big table, measure that recess, allowing for chair depth when sitting. Very much easier to make changes now

Yoginimeisje Mon 17-Jan-22 10:05:15

You are clever Karmalady I did do all the measuring up at the first property I was buying which fell through. The floor plan was so detailed with all the recess measurements etc., I did still go round, just before what I thought was going to be exchange day and measured up everything to fit. But this new one has just the normal measurements plan. It has a video of the property and that was better at seeing where everything would fit. I'll just have to squash it all in shock

I'm one of those buyers that views, says 'yes this is the one' and the next time I see it I'm moving in. But then the other properties were big so no problems with furniture fitting.

Franbern Mon 17-Jan-22 11:13:37

Yogi, I also very much downsized when I moved. Mind you I had spent the previous four years getting ready for that, and getting rid of large furniture, etc.

I was in a four bedroom house, very long galley kitchen with loads of cupboards and drawers as well as a separate Utility room, large through lounge/dining room,

I made a rough plan as to where I wanted most furniture put as I knew I would most likely arrive there on moving day AFTER my daughter would be arranging with the removal company to get everything off their lorry,

However, a lot of what seemed perfect on paper did not really look right when I was living with it, and there were several changes around during those first few weeks/months, including buying new furniture. Do think that knowing where the electrical points are situated is important and I found my bag of extensions for electrical items very useful on removal day.

I was in a panic about the rightness of this move (particularly as I was going 150 miles away from London), right up to when the removal firm came in to start packing.

Almost immediately upon actually arriving at my flat, I felt relaxed and knew that I had done exactly the right thing. Indeed, (stupid as it may sound), I almost had a small panic attack a few days later, as I realised how nearly I had come to missing out on this flat. Over the two years, the correctness of this move had been proven so right.

Just to say, that, yesterday I did paint and cover top of second bedroom cabinet. Checked that carpet area in my bedroom when sunlight poured through the window yesterday morning and delighted to report that there is absolutely no evidence of my stupidity. Had a feeling that my daughter might pop in during the afternoon whilst out for walk with her youngest, so I timed getting that cabinet finished in case she did - I was correct and so she moved it back into position in my bedroom for me. They are well-made and pretty heavy. I am delighted with the result, those old cabinets now match my new bedroom furniture exactly (I had previously, changed door handles to match).

BlueBalou Mon 17-Jan-22 11:42:47

We’ve decided that the planned house move is off, probably permanently because of dh’s multiple health issues. He’s getting excellent NHS care here and the thought of trying to sort it out if we moved to Wales just makes me shudder. It would involve 6 different specialists/services.
So, I’m resigned to the fact we’re staying here and planning to get the house sorted to exactly what I’d like (DH isn’t fussed), probably much cheaper than moving I guess!
Lots of clearing out still to do, I’m actually quite enjoying it so long as I pace myself.

Shandy57 Mon 17-Jan-22 14:37:56

Afternoon all, I had a youthful night being up until dawn but I wasn't out dancing - the wind was blowing things around on the roof! Started around 1.30 am.

I was in and out with my torch like a yo yo but couldn't see where the noise was coming from. I contacted my surveyor by email at 3 am and he very kindly came round to check it this morning, seems it was the roof tiles that have been used to keep the plastic down. And good news - looks like I might have a roofer within the next three weeks! Woo hoo, let's hope this odd warm weather continues.

Good luck with your furniture fitting Yogi. I only bought two beds, a chest of drawers, a desk and my sofa and chair, (which have gone to my son). I had 12 rooms and 264 sq m at my old house, and am now in 5 rooms and 96 sq m. I've decided that anything I buy must be dual purpose for storage, and I'm looking forward to getting the loft boarded when the floors have been done. Well nearly everything is to be dual purpose - I couldnt' resist an art deco sideboard recently, the owner is very kindly storing it for me until April. I will be getting rid of the tv unit I bought back in the summer, so one in, one out!

BlueBalou, all the best to you, I hope you can get the house how you want.

Why is it I always get a splinter in my right hand! Wish I could use both hands as well, I've finally got it. Quite pleased I knew where the needles were in this chaos.

Off to watch David A's programme about plants, I do miss going to Kew Gardens, it was one of our favourite places.

karmalady Tue 18-Jan-22 05:56:47

Would you spice, or anyone else, please take on renewing the thread in future, as you have been doing. Its our thread, not my thread. I just wanted to say that, no-one will be stepping on my toes

I think a new home area compared to a last home area is a very helpful figure, it gives an outline idea of how much we may need to adjust wrt furniture. I had 2 fitted cupboards made after I moved in, mostly shelves and some hanging space. Those cupboards in 2 bedrooms immediately changed the technicality of the rooms. Both have become large singles instead of small doubles. Really my 1200 sq feet is much less than that now, storage for bits is brilliant but I since got rid of a bed and a large cheval mirror and a chest of drawers and a large wall mirror

Square footage is important but so are the restricted areas eg radiators, doors. My smallest bedroom is fine as a study but I did get a single 2`6 bed in there with a few inches to spare. I lately put in a very comfy easy chair suitable for knitting or spinning or reading and a tall reading lamp. My storage area in there is just this laundry basket, which holds lots of things and has a nice surface for a bedside lamp and a radio.
www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-partners-water-hyacinth-double-laundry-hamper

/p1467234?sku=233646685&s_ppc=2dx92700064270145471&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=CjwKCAiAxJSPBhAoEiwAeO_fP8_90biGcbXRXEsFTiCPnfa0xxpy9ZC4p3xHWjwpozoMdgZAFStEARoCRJkQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

The window is low and has a very calming view of wonky ancient red roofs and higgeldy old gardens. This room was only finished a few weeks ago, I cannot use it yet as it is storing things until my painting is finished

Shandy you mentioned boarding your loft. My ds had his done 2 weeks ago, says it is one of the best things he has done. Make sure to get some decent stairs, mine are good and safe, they ease downwards slowly and lock back into place.

karmalady Tue 18-Jan-22 06:17:07

I check my bank accounts every single morning, This not spending much malarky is working and I have been able to transfer some halifax money to my halifax savings safety -net account. I use this account to help with the ebb and flow of the current account and bills.

I have car insurance to pay next week and then maybe I will be able to transfer a bit into my more inaccessible savings account, perhaps the gradual re-building of savings will be about to start. A huge hole developed after moving, money drained out over 2 1/2 years. I still haven`t made a page for expected bills, any old excuse not to settle into that, it is paperwork and I hate doing paperwork

Franbern Tue 18-Jan-22 08:55:15

My eldest daughter had the loft boarded out in her 1930's house a few years back. Had the loft entry moved from the rather silly place in the bathroom (?) to the landing. The ladder she had put in had steps that were nearly as wide as normal stair treads for safety and an easy system to get that down and back again. This makes it so simple for her to be able to use the loft for all sorts of storage. Good lighting put hin there also. She also says that it was one of the best improvements she has had done there.

My 1930 house which was less than a mile away also had that loft entry in the bathroom - no idea why the builders thought that was a good idea - can only think that, back then, the only thing in that loft space (beside spiders, mice, nesting birds etc.) was the large water tank. I had my loft space turned into one large bedroom (for g.children), with stairs going up from what had originally been the Airing Cupboard. Two large velux windows installed. I kept the original cupboard door so that area could be blocked off when not in use. The small door above the main one, I had replaced with glass. This meant that Grandma (me), magically always knew when any child staying overnight had not switched off their light when told!!! They were all well into their teens before they realised how I always knew!!!

karmalady Tue 18-Jan-22 09:22:48

I think I have similar loft stairs to your daughter franbern, they are very safe and there is a loft light up there. I am not having it boarded because I don`t want to have storage out of sight. Getting the family home stuff out of the loft and downsized was ridiculous, all that stuff that the adult children never wanted. It was almost two years here when I tested the loft door with the pole, I was too scared in case it came down fast. I waited for a son in law to do it and he showed me what to do. It comes down a bit and stays in that position, I can reach that and lower it down further. It moves to the first position slowly

Shandy57 Tue 18-Jan-22 11:28:29

Morning all, very frosty start here, I've got new boots with a better tread and felt safer walking the dog.

I've got a loft ladder but am too nervous to go up there. I bought a pole and attached a 'boat hook' - think that's what it's called, we used to have similar at school to open the windows. I will wait for it to be boarded before I go for a look. Made me giggle your secret spy hole Franbern, Grandmas do have magic powers!

My son and his girlfriend have Covid, I feel really bad I am too nervous to drive down to help them, I just can't do motorways anymore sad His girlfriend's Mum is in Spain. Neither of them feel too poorly luckily, they are going to get a food delivery.

I keep meaning to say all was OK at the doctors Franbern, thanks for asking, it was my lower lip again. I also managed to get into the dentists for a second opinion, neither think it is sinister, just stress related. I seem to be grinding my teeth in the day without realising. So very lucky to have had an appointment, as a heavy smoker until I was 57 I always worry. I have a dog walking friend and she is still smoking - she's had a sore throat for a long time and is having investigations tomorrow. I wish my son would stop.

I've completely emptied the lounge and kitchen now so I'm ready for the builder when he books in.

Have a good day everyone.

karmalady Tue 18-Jan-22 17:12:29

I am not surprised that you have physical signs of stress shandy, you are doing very well, you have a strong and tenacious side

My sister in law is in a care home, just early dementia so pretty well with it, still. Almost everyone in that home has tested positive, including the carers and none are very ill. All the residents have now been locked in their rooms and will be there for 10 days and to top that, their room tvs are not working and won`t be fixed for days. Personally I will do everything in my power never ever to go into a care home.

I watch ABC australia most days and it seems that their care homes are also suffering like ours, lockdowns, shortage of staff and very low wages

Shandy57 Tue 18-Jan-22 17:25:09

Evening all,

I've just had a visit from the builder - he's found a roofer and he is coming tomorrow to get the preparation started! Lounge ceiling is going to be done first. I can't believe it's really happening but apparently we have two weeks of good weather forecast!

karmalady Wed 19-Jan-22 08:02:17

now the car tax bill. too, by feb 1st

I had an e mail, if not sure google car tax, enter your car reg and it tells you when it is due. I don`t trust e mails re money payments. Mine is by DD

Such nice news to hear shandy

Shandy57 Wed 19-Jan-22 09:54:04

Morning all, sunny and lovely here.

I pay my tax by monthly direct debit karmalady, makes it less painful! I do get an MOT reminder email.

The builders workers arrived at 8.45 am and my elderly cat was looking for somewhere to hide before they arrived, so intuitive aren't they. I should have set up the dog crate for her last night, I'm going out to the shed to get it in a minute. She was under my bed and has now disappeared, she does have a secret hiding place I've never found. The kitchen door is shut but it's so small here, the banging and drilling can be heard everywhere.

Drying machine man is coming from Glasgow and arriving about 12 noon, it's going to be a funny old day hanging around.

Enjoy your day smile

karmalady Wed 19-Jan-22 10:37:46

I never find those hanging around days easy shandy, needing to stay out of the way and no chatting is not in my nature but time is important, hence I sit in a separate room, knitting, killing time, going on the net, watching tv, doing crosswords. It does seem to drag when tradesmen are in the house. Tea and coffee, I only need to do 3 times when here and a plate of biscuits, that is my whole participation. Tbh, they are glad that I keep my head down.

Improvement will come in leaps and bounds from now shandy, you will be doing the titivating finishing touches in time to enjoy spring and yes, cats do have intuition

kissngate Wed 19-Jan-22 10:38:47

Thought I would update as its four weeks since we completed. Its been hard work more so than moving out. My OH hasn't coped well, he was depressed by our long delay and I thought once we were in he would cheer up but no. He emptied a few boxes then said he'd had enough. We've had problems with water and ch despite visits by two plumbers and that hasn't helped. He hates it when household issues go pear-shaped as he can't fix it himself and feels inadequate when a man who can sorts it out. Plumbers supposed to be coming today to put in new pump and fix leak which has a bucket under. They've cancelled twice hoping it's third time lucky. Anyhow so far I've offloaded at charity shop twice with another pile ready to go and been to tip twice as well. We downsized similar to others just two double beds now and a single. At first lounge and dining kitchen felt cramped but getting use to it. DD thinks lounge would be better if tv was moved to wall opposite window and kitchen would look better if dining table was half the size (it only seats six). Unlikely to change either in the near future. Will be changing bedroom wall colour though - it's blue and purple. The blue will stay just need to paint over the purple which should me take a couple of days going slowly. That's it for now.
Shandy - hope all your jobs get sorted soon mine are minor by comparison.

Shandy57 Wed 19-Jan-22 12:16:37

Hello kissngate, congratulations, with all my roof stuff going on I hadn't realised the date! I hope the plumber comes to you today, it's horrible clock watching. Hope the purple paint covers easily, enjoy!

karmalady Wed 19-Jan-22 12:16:51

nice to hear that things are progressing kissngate. I wonder if your dh has winter SAD, which affects many people, depression, cannot be bothered etc. I see you are another who is having to clearout more, after moving. The man at the tip said that many people do that

karmalady Wed 19-Jan-22 18:17:17

shandy, how was today?

Shandy57 Wed 19-Jan-22 20:19:03

Today was great karmalady, and my cat has reappeared from under the bed. I took my dog off to the beach at around 12.30 when the young man had been to collect the drying machine, got back about 2.30 pm.

As they had bought their own flasks and snacks/lunch I didn't have to make any teas and coffees, but I left it all out for them if they wanted to refill their flasks, along with some soft drinks. I'd also bought sausages, bacon and rolls but they politely refused. They worked solidly and constantly talked and revised what they were doing, so competent.

They've stripped back all of the old roof, removed the guttering, as well as all the ceiling plaster in the lounge. As I'm having the roof insulated I've got rid of the 'lantern' and had the area filled in. It was cheap plastic, and was bouncing up and down in the storm, I was so worried it was going to blow off. Everything was cleaned and swept up and in the skip. All the supplies have arrived ready for tomorrow, boards and the insulation.

I went to say goodbye and it seems the original roof wasn't fitted properly. He explained that normally where the concrete roof comes down, the flat roof would extend under it to catch the water. This roof didn't have that, and water has been draining down and underneath the flat roof. Storm Arwen, awful as it was, has done me a favour. I am paying an additional £2.5K plus VAT for the insulation, but it's an investment. I've just had a huge electricity bill because of the drying machine - the young man came and didn't mention the refund of costs, I'll wait and see.

I think I might have mentioned I applied for and was accepted for a 'home makeover' programme earlier in the year, but when the young lady explained what was involved, I withdrew. I also had memories of the Changing Rooms programme and our local vicarage, I thought the owner was going to faint when she saw what they'd done. I've just watched the first one on Channel 5 and I'm not impressed. Another lucky escape!

karmalady Thu 20-Jan-22 06:59:25

Hugely positive progress shandy and very well worth the insulation investment. It was lovely to read this post, definitely onward and upward at last and today will be a good day

Franbern Thu 20-Jan-22 08:44:46

Shandy so delighted that the rebuilding work is now underway. Once this is all complete, you will be able to look back at these last couple of months and actually be grateful - as the improvement results will be so great.
Definitely worth paying extra for insulation, particularly with the way fuel costs are going (ever northwards), as well as for your own comfort. Does appear as if the previous owner of your bungalow tended to use 'cowboy' tradesmen.
2022 will see this property totally becoming your own in every meaning of that term, and hope you do have much fun in sorting out all the redecorations.
Kissngate I do think that sometimes, after a long, drawn out and difficult time with moving - there can be the reaction like your OH has. He will need time to be able to pick himself up from that effect. It will happen, probably as the weather improves and he starts to feel 'at home' in your new place. You do need to point out to him, gently, that these jobs like plumbing and electrical should always only EVER be carried out by a professional - and, in many cases, Certification is required is completed. DIY on this sort of work is no longer really viable.
Having tv's opposite windows can be a problem when the sun comes in through that window. Might be worthwhile getting a long piece of aerial extension lead and trying it in the new place, even if only to prove it would not work!!! At my house I did move my tv from one alcove to the one the other side of the fireplace, purely to try to solve this problem of sunshine effecting the screen. Did it myself just using aerial extension lead and wood coloured covering for this.

Let him spend some time looking at new dining tables (and their costs), I purchased a lovely round one, for the flat, which seats four and easily extends (when required) to take six. When I had my large, and hugely expensive rectangle table which seated eight and extended to ten or more, the extending bit was a loose flap stored under the main table and very heavy. I began to find it so difficult for me use this extension (my eldest daughter now has this table but she is only in her early 50's so it does not cause her any problems), that I was really unable to use it unless someone was there do do it all for me. So, when I purchased this new one, the ease of using the extension with no lifting, etc. was paramount.
Yogi not long now - thinking of you. Do hope move is in good weather.

karmalady Thu 20-Jan-22 09:22:37

Your table Franbrn, it reminded me of our last table. Ercol, light oak and big when extended with the loose piece added to the centre, which pulled apart for insertion. My dd has it and it was indeed a good buy, as it will last but did become far too big for us when we downsized. We bought another ercol but square and can seat 4 but the top layer will flip up and it will extend to seating 6. I like this table very much, I use it extended for cutting out fabric. It is a keeper and compact

I made changes here four days ago, to energy consumption. I had a think because I feel warm in the evening while sitting knitting. My time for feeling coolest is when I come into my living room after sleeping and I warm up very quickly after breakfast, also the sun streams in from the east patio doors and windows, all downstairs apart from hall. Seeing as my body has adapted well from the hot months, I went around the digital thermostats and tweaked them all. Shorter times for being on the higher temperatures, when I want a kick of heat. For example lounge thermostat is 20 from 4 to 6am and then it goes down to 19 until the next morning. The underfloor heating retains its heat pretty well all day and the room does not dip below 19.6 at these temperatures. Same in the kitchen/diner. No heat in the hall and utility but the hall gets warm enough from the heating pipes in the cloaks/cupboard

Upstairs has similar adjustments but different times. I wear nice warm clothing eg camisole and wool jumper, tights with a skirt.

Yoginimeisje Fri 21-Jan-22 09:57:18

Well done on your cabinets Fran that's the way to go, DIY.
Blue If it wasn't for needing to pay off my mortgage I think I would have vitoed it as well, so expensive ad stressful!

Very busy at the moment with my move, took me an hour this morning to finalize buying a big garden shed! My poor little doggie is looking at me for his walkies, so I'll take him out now and read the rest of the post later, as there is quite a lot to read.....

Shandy57 Fri 21-Jan-22 17:28:30

Evening all, another successful day, all neatly covered up with black plastic. No workmen (they are all men) again until Monday when the roofer is also coming to measure up.

I'm on Facebook as some of you know, and yet again I've just seen something of mine for sale on Marketplace, a huge victorian overmantle I very reluctantly gave away. I know I must be more modern here - and I haven't got any mantles, but I wish I could have kept it!