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Help calm me. House buying and selling stress

(996 Posts)
Spice101 Fri 24-Sept-21 13:39:33

Link to first 8 threads

tinyurl.com/4883ywjs

Thread #9

Josianne Sat 20-Nov-21 14:44:36

Oh Franbern I hope you are feeling better soon. You never cease to amaze me with your travels back to our neck of the woods. I count my blessings every day that our daughter and family took the plunge to move down here after the first lockdown. We have all family members within a few minutes now, so no more 4 1/2 hour car journeys.
Good luck Yogi, the closest we ever moved before Christmas was December 17th. We put a stop on unpacking any boxes after 22nd.
Hope you are enjoying your trip Shandy.

Franbern Sat 20-Nov-21 10:13:43

Yogi so hope you will be able to put up your tree in your new home. A whole year - a long time. Just be good when it is all successfully achieved.
In my post I said external doors, should have read Internal doors (one to kitchen being made a sliding glazed one and one to Living room being changed for oak colour glazed one).
I have been unwell for the last couple of days, pretty sure it is just my body telling me to calm down and rest. Has been pretty intensive for past couple of weeks. Unfortunately, whenever I am overtired or run down I develop a deep throated cough. Have had to cancel joining my daughter and her family for a family meal tonight. I will not feel like it, and do not think restaurant will want someone coughing in there. She popped over to pick up her card, etc. this morning. Yesterday, all I wanted to do was sleep. Feeling a little better today but still not wanting to do anything but relax. Am taking a LFT, although almost definite this is nothing to do with Covid.

Shandy57 Sat 20-Nov-21 09:15:01

Good luck Yogi, thinking of you and sending positive thoughts.

Yoginimeisje Sat 20-Nov-21 08:58:32

My goodness what a journey you had Fran I wouldn't undertake that. I am just 30mins by train to London or 45mins by car, but I really dislike going up there now, have prev. in-laws there so do visit 2 or 3 times a year.

What a shame you will miss your daughter Shandy by one day! Enjoy your friends.

My neighbour finally moved yesterday, They were parallel with me, re buyers pulling out, problems with purchase property etc. But opposite in that they eventually sold at top price hike, but still had their property at the lower price. She threatens to pull out when there were problems along the chain, was phoned back same day with moving date for the next week!

It's looking like my move could be before Xmas! On one hand I want to stay here and put up my tree on the other I just want this over with. 1st Dec 2020 I sold, 2nd Dec 2020 I purchased [stc] and I'm still here confused

M0nica Fri 19-Nov-21 14:35:46

marymary Why doesn't your DD, complete on her sale, I presume she has exchanged on her purchase, and rent a property.

In a similar situation this is what we did. Temporarily without a house, there will be no mortgage to pay, so renting is not an additional expense.

DS and DDiL did something similar when they had a buyer, but the move to a new job and area became uncertain, they wanted to upsize anyway, so they let the sale go ahead and rented for a short period until their situation became clearer.

Shandy57 Fri 19-Nov-21 13:38:18

Hello Franbern,

I'm so glad you had a nice time on your trip. I've just realised I'm going in ten days and must start thinking of what to take. Unfortunately I'm missing my daughter, she returns to Belfast the day before I arrive sad I think I'll feel the same as you and be glad to be back. It does feel such an effort with the pet care too, but I must do it. I've known both of these friends since 1973 and I do treasure them both, it's been a long five years since we last met. I am also going to see my friend's 86 year old Mum for a very short front door flower delivery too.

I'm not sure how long I'll have to wait for the floor to be inspected and then fixed, or the PIV to be installed, but am glad I had the curtains made and the problem was found before it got any worse. My surveyor said he has £2M of work on his desk and is unable to action many of the projects due to a lack of materials and trades, so I'm just going to be patient.

I hope your door and floor work pleases you. I've realised the vendor might have bought this very very thin carpet because of the doors. I won't be replacing until my dog goes over the rainbow bridge - he's had an accident on my new rug!

Have a great weekend.

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 19-Nov-21 13:30:15

Surveyors can lift carpets if the owners agree but they never bother and their reports always make it clear they haven’t done so. However what they can and should do is jump up and down on the floor to test it and I suspect this would have lead to your problem being suspected and further investigations undertaken Shandy.

Franbern Fri 19-Nov-21 12:13:05

Oh Shandy what a shock re the Dry Rot. Hope it will not be too pricey to get fixed. Does seem strange that we can pay a lot of money to a surveyor, but then they seem to have no respponsibility, when they miss something like this. That wonderful clause about not being able to lift floor coverings etc.

I am recovering from my trip to London. Yes, it allwent well and did manage to eet up with several of my old friends, but it really is much too much for me now. Railway Assistane is very good, but I do get stressed out at each stage of the journey as to whether they will actually be there and if I will be able to make mjy connections.

My journey there was as follows
1. Community Bus (Dial a Ride), to local station
2. Train to Bristol
3. Put in wheelchair at Bristol to go across to get my train to London
4. At Paddington, met with electric buggy (rather late), to take me to Underground entrance/
5 Two different uderground train
6. FInally met up with friend at restaurant, her daughter put my case in her car for safety and then met us when we had finished and drove me to my daughters house.

I do get myself vdery stressed worrying at so many arrangements and how easily it can all go wrong. Met up with three of my friends (different days). and had a lovely trip to Ikea with daughter looking at Kitchens =-which were far better than I expected.

It is taking me several days to recover from that trip (think the best part was when I walked back into my flat!!!!! Have decided that I will be doing such a trip in future my once a year. Will be going up there after Christmas but have now amdended it to one day to go, one day there and third day home again, and not meeitng up with with anyone.

Am now having carpenter sortingout to external doors replacing them with glazed ones (and one sliding). On Monday my flooring people will come to do their final job in my spare bedroom.

I intend to have the whole of next year with NOTHING being carried out in the flat. A whole year off!!! All that will be left will be a new kitchen which I need to save up for and will not be before 2023.

Shandy57 Thu 18-Nov-21 21:03:50

Evening all, I hope those of you waiting for news don't have to wait much longer.

I had the surveyor back today. It is dry rot in the bay window area in the front bedroom, but he doesn't think it extends to the full room. Culprit seems to be a supporting joist that touches the outside wall, it's nothing to do with the gutters or damp proof course.

The black mould on the chipboard flooring in the back bedroom is condensation. He recommended I have a gadget installed in my loft to control the humidity here, which is 86 every time I put the Aldi dehumidifier on.

I feel so relieved. I do think surveyors should have the power to lift carpets when doing a survey, I'm glad the curtain fitter didn't go through the floor!

Place is a tip now because I had to move everything to pull the carpets back, but no-one is coming, so I'll replace it all at the weekend!

Bakingmad0203 Sun 14-Nov-21 17:24:57

We too are waiting for our apartment to be built. It won’t be ready for a year so we are going into rented accommodation until then. I think that is only fair to our buyers, and that it was one reason why our buyers offered over the asking price. The cost of renting accommodation is covered by the extra we got for the house.

Spice101 Sat 13-Nov-21 11:25:09

marymary said ^My poor DD has waited months and months to move as the retired couple she is buying from are having a bungalow built and it’s been delayed again and again
- was meant to be September ! Still no date . She and her partner are being really kind and patient as the couple are not in good health but they have lost money on missing out on the stamp duty reduction and their buyers are very cross and upset.^

I'm so glad we cannot have this situation happen here. When an offer is accepted and contracts signed on acceptance of that offer the settlement date is set in stone so to speak. On the settlement date the house becomes the new owners and they have total access. In your case it would be the vendor of your daughters new home that would have to move out and find somewhere to live instead of stopping the chain until they were ready to go.
Your system certainly makes the already stressful process much more so.

Yoginimeisje Sat 13-Nov-21 08:56:52

Good luck Mary and to your 2 daughters.

I'm still waiting for news of the extended lease being returned from land reg. It's so near to Xmas now that I'm not sure if I should stop pushing and wait till after Xmas, the people buying mine have said they don't want to move a week before Xmas, nor do I. Not sure if they are saying get a move on

My neighbour has been having the same delays as me. She messaged me last night to say they are moving next Friday, but their moving co. can't do that date. She said her husband will have to do it on his own then! I replied to get another removal co. as when I did that, with then husband, it took us 24hrs, no kidding! Hell!

My house has gone up by at lest 10K, but I had to give 10K above the asking price to get the garden flat I wanted shock

Shandy57 Fri 12-Nov-21 16:03:24

Kissngate, I'm sorry to read your news, but at least you are still at least £10K up, I've noticed prices here are still rising. Good luck, I hope you have some positive news on exchange/completion soon.

I'm feeling a lot better about my damp floorboards today, I have invited my surveyor to come round to analyse the problem. I checked the airbrick and it is completely clear - and I must have had 10L of water in the dehumidifer this morning. I don't go in this room much so it's not me breathing!

Good luck to your kids marymary62 and hope you don't have a reaction to the booster. My daughter will be 26 in January and buying her first house next year, she has sent me a photo of one she liked - EPC is E. She has a healthy deposit so could buy new, I've advised to only look at C gradings or higher. Hopefully her boyfriend's parents will be advising too as NI is new to her.

Having decluttered ruthlessly to move here, I still couldn't resist a 1930's Falcon ware cup and biscuit plate in Oxfam. I did resist the lovely butter dish, I won't be hosting big dinner parties in the future smile

Good luck to everyone on here smile

marymary62 Fri 12-Nov-21 14:45:45

Oh dear - Shandy57 - that sounds really awful and a deliberate masking of a problem. Surveyors should be wise to that - the one who came to our house moved a chair off a rug and checked underneath ...! Hopefully easily sorted but understandably upsetting .
Everyone seems to be having mixed fortunes in the moving game - how stressful it all is. My poor DD has waited months and months to move as the retired couple she is buying from are having a bungalow built and it’s been delayed again and again
- was meant to be September ! Still no date . She and her partner are being really kind and patient as the couple are not in good health but they have lost money on missing out on the stamp duty reduction and their buyers are very cross and upset. Not easy with for DD and partner with jobs in adolescent mental health and an 18 month old. Meanwhile my other DD is divorcing and also trying to move with a toddler and a full time job, and ongoing health problems . Both DD’s will hopefully be within 10 doors of each other ! We are also moving from being 3 hours away from them to 30 mins - just had a structural engineer confirm house is sound but the garage needs to be re built so are waiting to hear about what we think is a reasonable reduction in asking price - it’s an empty inherited property. Everything is taking an age as professionals are so busy !
Meanwhile I’ve sold loads of unwanted things on EBay - made nearly 500.00 ! Still a way to go with things we don’t want but my DH is now ‘on board ‘ with downsizing . We are moving from a rambling 4 bed to a tiny 3 bed so stuff must go ! I’m looking forward to a downsized house but a max sized life near my children and grandchildren !
Keep strong everyone and try to stay positive - it’s an incredibly hard time and outcomes are uncertain but it will pass and sooner or later we will be where we want to be or have reconciled to staying put .... off for booster jab now so wish me luck !

Whiff Fri 12-Nov-21 09:36:44

kissngate sorry you are being messed about. Are you still going to wait or pull out and look elsewhere. How long has it been since all this started? Personally I don't think the vendors are going through with the sale. When where you supposed to exchange contracts?

?

kissngate Fri 12-Nov-21 09:12:53

And the saga goes on ..... EA just informed us vendors not selling this month due to problems with paperwork ! Well that's what they've told her. Solicitors have no idea what's going on. Give up.

Shandy57 Thu 11-Nov-21 09:34:04

Seeing double! Problem posting smile

Shandy57 Thu 11-Nov-21 09:24:34

Thanks Josianne and Franbern, I've recovered this morning! It was silly of me to be so upset about it, the bungalow is 90 years old and there was something in the survey about the damp proof course being breached by the solid brick path to the back garden. I've had two wisdom teeth out over the last two weeks and it's left me a bit wobbly, luckily only the hygienist tomorrow.

I hope you have a good weekend away Franbern, wishing you dry weather. I'm glad you aren't missing your car - or the expense. My handbrake has gone again so I can't park on my drive until the garage can fix it, he hopes to squeeze me in next week.

I also wish everyone good luck with their sales and purchases.

Shandy57 Thu 11-Nov-21 09:22:47

Thanks Josianne and Franbern, I've recovered this morning! It was silly of me to be so upset about it, the bungalow is 90 years old and there was something in the survey about the damp proof course being breached by the solid brick path to the back garden. I've had two wisdom teeth out over the last two weeks and it's left me a bit wobbly, luckily only the hygienist tomorrow.

I hope you have a good weekend away Franbern, wishing you dry weather. I'm glad you aren't missing your car - or the expense. My handbrake has gone again so I can't park on my drive until the garage can fix it, he hopes to squeeze me in next week.

I also wish everyone good luck with their sales and purchases.

Franbern Thu 11-Nov-21 08:58:41

Shandy some sort of worries are part of the role of home ownership. On of my AC who works in Mental Health, insists that whereas too much stress is likely to be damaging to mental and physical health, a small amount occasionally can actually be good for you and keep you mentally aware.

All my children used to laugh at me when I used to say (when on my old house), that I needed to keep money aside for expensive emergencies such as maybe having to have a new roof. They now quiz me as to what sort of 'emergency' I still insist on keeping money for in the flat!!! After all, a new roof would not be my responsibility now.

But even in flats I know unexpected occurs. A daughter of one of my friends, purchased a lovely 1-bed flat close to the school in which she works a couple of years ago. Raised the mortgage with help of parents and some extra loans, was intending to pay these extras off with her top=up earnings as a A level marker. Of course, that was unavailable last year as no A level exams were held. THEN....to make matters worse she and the other flat owners all had a letter asking them for three grand. The Maintenance Company to whom they had been making payments had gone into liquidation and a new company taking over said that no necessary repairs had been carried out for several years and now needed to be done urgently - hence the £3,000!!!

So, get someone in the check your floors, and you and hopefully, you could find it is not as bad as your imagination is letting you think it is.

I have had a new carpet laid in my very large bedroom earlier this week, and in a couple of weeks that company is coming back to lay new flooring in my spare room. Same local firm that laid the beautiful Karndean floor in my Living room and hallway. Carpenter booked to change a couple of internal doors (expensive job as these all have to be fire doors). Then, I can sit back next year (or so), as nothing else requires doing. So, I will be saving up to have my kitchen completely re-done. Do wonder if this will ever actually happen, think I enjoy the planning and may baulk at actually getting it done.

I must report that I am really enjoying not having a car. No problems at present. As I am away this weekend for a few days in London and only needed a small weekly shop on Monday went to Sainsburys on bus which stops right outside the flats, taking my large shopping trolley. Very easy and relaxed. The local Community bus (dial-a-ride) is booked to take me to the station tomorrow for my train journey up to London. I noticed that petrol has risen (again) in price and just thought how glad I was that I did not have a car to put any in. I have started to tidy up my garage - need to get some shelving put in there.

Do hope all those on here still in that stage of selling/buying/moving are managing to get things done.

Josianne Wed 10-Nov-21 20:58:13

Sorry to hear about the floorboards Shandy. Try not to let it spoil your happiness, hopefully it will get sorted easily enough.
Why do all dogs like to sit in window chairs to look out?

Shandy57 Wed 10-Nov-21 20:47:38

Germanshepherdsmum, this big chair was covering the area of the 'creak', it's the first time I've moved the chair since I moved in. I hadn't walked there because I had to do a very inelegant backward waddle to place it elsewhere.

Thank you for sharing Franbern, it is simply 'caveat emptor' isn't it, it's just having left the worries of the station I wasn't expecting them here.

However, I am counting my blessings tonight. I've just watched Children in Need and cried, some people's suffering is unbelievable and they still volunteer to cycle 30 miles! smile Bit low this week after having both wisdom teeth out, promise no more moaning.

Franbern Wed 10-Nov-21 17:50:32

Shandy, such a shame you found out a problem in this manner. You will be best to get a floor cmpany to come and check to find out exactly what is causing the problem. Could be just those few boards, which will be easy toi have repoalced. Or wet rot, and you will need to see how far it has spread. Obviously, worst of all is dry rot - but unlikely to be that.

When we first married and we purchased a victoria house, could not afford sukch things as our own survey. Day after our wedding, put up a lampshade in one room and allthe lights went out!! Turned out we had to have the whole house re-wired. Each room had appeared to have power points in the walls, turned out these were all (except two in front room) were rukn from lighting circuit!!!
Then second dayj there, we were going out, very narrow hall - and hubbie's foot and lower leg went through the floorboards - Yes, the whole of the ground floor had wet rot.

We were the first people in both our famiolies to purchase our own home, and it was a very steep learning curve.

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 10-Nov-21 16:00:08

If the curtain people heard the floor creaking without lifting the carpet Shandy your surveyor could have done likewise!

Shandy57 Wed 10-Nov-21 14:14:21

Hope everyone is enjoying this November sunshine today!

Just had a bit of a shock. The curtain lady came with her assistant to put up the curtain rails, and for the first time, I moved the huge and heavy wicker chair the vendor left me from the bay window area. My dog sits in it to see out of the window.

The assistant walked into the room and walked into the bay and the floorboards cracked ... he said he wasn't happy to continue without investigating as he didn't like the sound of it. I agreed he could lift the carpet - no underlay - and the boards are rotten.

So disappointed in the vendor, the chair wasn't in this position in the details so had been strategically placed. My surveyor wouldn't have known as they don't lift carpets or furniture.

Can only say let's hope the saying 'what goes around comes around' is true!