Messy House; Messy Life Thread ??

I'm not a minimalist but neither do I like clutter everywhere. I've never understood why people think a house has to be full of 'stuff' to look homey. I am always happier when it's tidy and things are put away where I know where to find them when I want them. Yes there are always books out. Our PCs are always beside the sofa. I don't really care where the cushions and throws have moved to. Sometimes there is craft stuff out, or cameras, or hiking paraphernalia or something else. When we've finished what we're doing it all goes away again.

When I first got interested in slow cooking a friend told me not to buy one as she had one she had never used and would look it out for me. She finally found it in the garage five years later - just as well I didn't wait for her to find it.

We live in an average sized house (Victorian semi), with 3 bedrooms (one DH’s office for WFH) - but there’s never enough storage! The kitchen is ok - just enough cupboards there. But the bedrooms and the sitting room just have ‘stuff’ piled up on chairs or in baskets.

Blossoming that was a creepy thing to do.

Josieann. When I'm away from my home I get "joy joy" feelings from knowing that my house is all nice and clean, waiting for my return.

Those who are decluttering and find the dump, donate or keep too cut and dried might find a "Not Sure" box helpful. I'm finding once things are put in there and not in their usual place I look at them more objectively. Until I did that I found pondering what to do with them slowed me down and making the decisions put me off working my way through other stuff. I just go back the Not Sure box from time to time.

Sympathise with Hetty 58 .
I lived in a house with my neat freak mother .
She worked full time and had a glamorous social life .
When at home she'd be screaming at my poor grandma for not keeping the house clean enough and would push me away when cleaning .
I hated it .
I see the same traits in one of my children, who can't relax and enjoy one programme .
I like things to be hygienic, but I'm fairly relaxed about
mess unless I have guests .
I'll admit to having a post Xmas declutter.

Mrs Hinch must be incredibly boring .

Life really is too short !

It’s a sort of conjugation though isn’t it
1 I like my house to reflect my personality
2 You are relaxed about your home looking lived in
3 He/she is very messy
Plural
1 We don’t get over obsessed with minimalism
2 You (plural) could do with a good sort out
3 They live in a pigsty ???

I couldn’t live with stuff piled up like that Kathy. It would drive me mad. Presumably you have wardrobes and chests of drawers, maybe blanket boxes? Have you considered that you might just have too much stuff?

I was just planning my Spring planting schedule and it occurred to me that I enjoy having a sort of minimalist garden too. Everything is clean lines, only 2 colours part from green, carefully chosen heights and a couple of striking main features.

MayBee70

JaneJudge

Aww at the lamp body in the back of the car

Yes, things are precious. I am like you Jen53. Photographs really make me cry and I can only cope with so much at a time. My Mum recently gave me a huge box of old photographs from my childhood and I had to ask her to stop showing them me as it was upsetting. She didn't understand this at all, so it's nice to know I am not that unusual

I made a point of doing photo albums when my children were young that were also full of other things: pictures they’d drawn, hand prints etc. I thought they would make me happy but I can’t bear to look at them now. This has been made worse by the fact that there are photos of many holidays that we shared with my friends family and she has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

OhMaybe that is tough x

Reading through I realise that my home does reflect my personality.
Tidy, confident and organised on the outside . However, one should be careful. when opening a drawer or cupboard for therein lies my real self.

Ha ha, that's funny ginny! Beautifully serene on the exterior and a right mess inside!
Actually you've just reminded me that immaculately and elegantly dressed French women apparently fall behind when it comes to wearing clean underwear!

ginny

I am fairly tidy and so is the house because we both like it that way.I have a very untidy friend ( and she likes her house that way) both ways are fine if it’s what is wanted.
If you are messy and unhappy about it, make small changes at first to see what you are happy with ( you are unlikely to want a minimal look.) Do it in stages.

It’s strange that so many people have tidy houses but untidy drawers and cupboards, My house always looks as though it’s been ransacked but, open any drawer, cupboard and wardrobe, and they’re immaculate.

I am fairly tidy, cupboards are our problem and of course the garage and the loft both if which houses not only our stuff but also other people's.
Today I mentioned to DH that if either one if us became incapacitated in anyway, not only would the 'well" person have caring responsibilities but they would also be faced with sorting out alot of stuff.
I don't want our daughter to have the extra burden in her already busy life.
It didn't go down very well, but I hope I have sown a seed.

On mumsnet there is a thread that started on January 1st.

January first, throw one thing away (no matter how small) via bin, tip, charity shop or gift etc
January 2nd two items as above
January 3rd three items and so on throughout the month.

I am going to start February as have some decorating to do.

When I started decluttering last year I had a lovely surprise. I started by doing one drawer at a time, and I was a bit shocked at the number of things that went straight in the bin. Stuff I hadn't used in years and didn't even know I had. One drawer had some old Christmas cards in, although I don't know why as I normally throw them out, and with them was an envelope containing £100 - a present from my mother about three years earlier. At the time I thought I must have thrown it out by mistake with other envelopes because I couldn't find it. I never told my mother, she would have been even more upset than I was. So I had an extra pressie last year ?

I like to think I am tidy and organised, but the fact is, we have too much stuff. Everything has its place and gets put away, but then there’s the “ overflow”. A friend called it cultural clutter. Books, newspapers, cds, music scores, magazines, waiting to be read, but there is a quick turnover.
I do intend to go through drawers very soon, but I already have a box of stuff for the charity shop. They won’t want my unwanted Christmassy gifts just now.
I could probably get rid of several pairs of shoes as I can’t see needing many smart ones in future.
One thing I must do is some filing of essential financial documents which have built up over the past month.

or the throw just slung on a chair - are deliberately done.

Oh, I didn't realise a throw or a knitting bag were untidy to some ?
I'm looking round anxiously now!

I must have a radical rethink about whether or not my house is untidy (don't inspect the cupboards please)

Lucca

*seems the world's divided into messy and tidy freaks*

Not really. I’m half and half. Naturally very untidy but now don’t like my beautiful flat to be cluttered with unnecessary “stuff”.
I struggle to stay tidy but I do it as it makes me feel calmer.

Me too.

I am particularly messy but have found I am happier when it is tidier. I want to not feel stressed if someone knocks on the door.

I’m a hoarder. There. Said it… wow! Feels good to get that one off my shoulders! ?

The only time it bothers me is if someone is visiting unannounced. Which isn’t often, so I’m good. It’s organised chaos but I know where most things are (until I need them! ?)

But I’ve started my own scheme to #dosomethingdifferent for 2022. It’s not rigid, it’s a do when/what I like. But I’m taking note of it all, because I know when I start slacking off, I can look back at it and hopefully be re-inspired.

I’m doing at least one thing a day that I wouldn’t normally do. My chores are done in bits and pieces. Half an hour in the kitchen, doing laundry, dishwasher or tidying. Or little bits I always ‘leave til next time..’ I’m doing them! I’m even saving perfectly good food which would normally be thrown out. I blanched sprouts and froze them to have when they’re out of season! That’s mega for me!

And when I get tired, I sit and have a drink and a rest. Then get up and do something else if I still feel like it. Changes are small so far but I’m proud of myself for doing it.

Todays #dosomethingdifferent was to get up and eat before taking my morning drugs. It might even make a difference as to how they work. I must stress it’s all ‘little by little’ and one day I’ll be happy with it all… maybe. ?

I am an ordered capricorn, typical of my birth sign. ordered mind and an ordered enough home, except when I get busy and engrossed, when everything gets messy. At the very least, I do try and leave the kitchen tidy when I go to bed. My bedroom is always nice, oops I haven`t made my bed yet as I like to let it air, we release a lot of water when we sleep, that needs to air out daily

Drawers and cupboards are pretty good but I am still in process of downsizing, 2 1/2 years after I moved here. Maybe I can get back to being tidy after the decorator is finished, maybe in a month. Being tidy and de-cluttering really is on-going, my home is evolving

Having worked in mental health support, here's what I learn about mess, both ultra tidy or chaotic mess can be a reflection of mental health. If you feel overwhelmed by the mess or compelled to keep cleaning, you probably need some help. If you don't already have help start by telling someone you trust how it makes you feel, there are no quick fixes. In my personal life as long as how you live is not detrimental to you health, ie your not over run with vermin, or others are saying they don't like to visit you because of how you live, if your happy live your own life.

Yes, please! I seem to have piles of things that must arrive when I am asleep! Really want to make this a "clear" year.

sodapop

Very timely thread, my husband usually a hoarder has started cleaning out the kitchen drawers and cupboards. All the outdated stuff has been binned all the sweets given to local children. He was told by his Dr that he was pre diabetic and needed to make changes to his diet. She has succeeded where I failed.
I don't mind the house being a bit untidy but I do like it to be clean. I knew someone who proudly announced she didn't have any books or magazines in her house to make it untidy.

Your last line chilled me. My books are my friends, constant throughout the years. When kids came into my life I made a promise never to make them feel like a stranger in their own home by clinically cleaning. To encourage imagination and creativity and make their own soothing nests. The results to me have paid off well - my mantra being, if they feel well, they do well.