Messy House; Messy Life Thread ??

I play a game called the hire the cleaner be the cleaner, where basically I hire myself “the cleaner” to clean up at a silly rate per hour -which of course the thrifty side of my nature is horrified at - that way the payer part of me demands a job well done in as short a time as possible. To date I owe myself a fortune ?

Aww at the lamp body in the back of the car

Yes, things are precious. I am like you Jen53. Photographs really make me cry and I can only cope with so much at a time. My Mum recently gave me a huge box of old photographs from my childhood and I had to ask her to stop showing them me as it was upsetting. She didn't understand this at all, so it's nice to know I am not that unusual

Thank you. The lamp has a funny story attached. We bought it abroad and to get it home wrapped it in a duvet cover sitting on the back seat of the car with a seat belt round it. Funny looks from customs. My friend painted the matching canvases. That's why things in our houses become precious to us all, its the association and memories. Any other good stories people have to share?

I will take a bit of what everyone says here. Like JaneJudge I do the 3 piles of stuff too when I am feeling "ruthless". It doesn't happen often enough. I wouldn't have the patience to list them on Ebay. I do believe the best way is sorting out one room or a large cupboard at a time. When I get overwhelmed or see nice old family photos or letters, I lose the ruthlessness, call it a day and have a nice warm bath and save it all for another day! all of which will take time. I don't do minimalism. I love a cosy nest.

Very timely thread, my husband usually a hoarder has started cleaning out the kitchen drawers and cupboards. All the outdated stuff has been binned all the sweets given to local children. He was told by his Dr that he was pre diabetic and needed to make changes to his diet. She has succeeded where I failed.
I don't mind the house being a bit untidy but I do like it to be clean. I knew someone who proudly announced she didn't have any books or magazines in her house to make it untidy.

I like a tidy house and tidy workplace, because it frees me up to be spontaneous! I can do whatever takes my fancy without having to trawl through a load of stuff first to find what I need.

Funny how we all see things so differently, isnt it!

Josieann I don’t know if you’re aware but anybody using reverse image search can see your full address on Zoopla.

Unless it isn’t really your house and you’re just having a laugh.

My rooms are a bit a dusty but not untidy. However, we won’t talk about what is in the wall to ceiling cupboards in each room plus the garage and two cellars.

That lamp is really unusual Josianne, lovely

Josieann

The fireplace photo taken at Fanny's wasn't at all messy. The wallpaper was the star, the rest just slotted round!

Here's my ultra devoid of clutter dining room in London, but probably not to anyone else's taste.

Seriously, your place? Not a pic pinched from a magazine? Wow, impressively clean-lined. I like a minimalist look (don’t always achieve it!), , but I doubt I could achieve your level of minimalism. Gorgeous lamp!

The fireplace photo taken at Fanny's wasn't at all messy. The wallpaper was the star, the rest just slotted round!

Here's my ultra devoid of clutter dining room in London, but probably not to anyone else's taste.

I didn’t think your fireplace picture you posted a while ago was messy Fanny?
Our house is clean lines, pockets of clutter from Christmas will soon disappear.
Neither of us likes mess, even the loft is almost empty.
But I do like impromptu events in my life, only pleasant ones of course!

I’m fairly tidy, don’t like clutter and I find having too many things is a burden. I do however have a suitcase and briefcase full of family history notes and old photos which I intend to put in order over the winter. Lots of bits of paper and part-filled notebooks can and will be reduced to a neat tree and a brief narrative.

Hi Fanny, I think you have to be brutal. I think people who had loss and trauma in their early adult life do have a tendency to hoard, I am one of them. My house is STILL messy (as you know ) but I try to regularly be brutal.

3 piles

Keep
Charity Shop/Freecycle
Dump

Lets face it, if you house is in a mess you aren't going to find the time to list them on ebay so either offer on facebook marketplace (which is easier) or take to the charity shop.

Just do one room at a time, even just one cupboard at a time.

Clean as you go but the main thing is to start sorting through things.

I set a time in the afternoon, say 2-3pm where i put everything in the car and go to the charity shop/dump and then if I feel that is enough for the day, have a bath/shower and then start again the next day

That’s sounds like me Lucca. I don’t have a lot of stuff at all but I still don’t keep what I’ve got in order.

Routine maintenance/tidying bores me?

seems the world's divided into messy and tidy freaks

Not really. I’m half and half. Naturally very untidy but now don’t like my beautiful flat to be cluttered with unnecessary “stuff”.
I struggle to stay tidy but I do it as it makes me feel calmer.

Oh yes, and thinking about it I'm a very move on to the next thing, new places, type person - house, job, project etc - in other words constantly changing, whereas others are content to dwell with things as they are and add a few more. We're all different.

FannyCornforth, the same here with me. I wasn't a particularly tidy person but always liked to see everything in its place. However, in the last few years my life and mental state have deteriorated through divorce, loss of house, loss of job, chronic pain & other medical issues plus lockdown and feeling isolated leading to mental issues so my place now which has been my "happy nest" from the outside world, has become cluttered with stuff I don't need. I am basically becoming a hoarder, clothes falling out of cupboards, piles of books, magazines every where, furniture, photos etc. Hanging on to these for dear life as they bring back happy memories. Close friends who have stood by me through thick and thin have been round to help me de-clutter, loaded black bin bags for charity shops, etc. etc. but still the chaos continues. I am so hoping to get out of this messy cycle and sort myself out but it is proving difficult. I feel better now knowing I am not the only one going through this and with all your practical ideas and encouragement I can get back to some sort of normality in 2022.

I was never a messy person until I became unwell with Graves disease. Although my thyroid is now stable, having hyperthydoidism has done so much damage to my body and I haven't fully recovered.

So my house got very messy, probably not as messy as I think it is.

It's really hard to not feel "lazy".

The best advice I've been given is, "you aren't lazy, you are overwhelmed".

So what to do about that? Well get one room back up to a standard I am happy with and then maintain it. Then bare in mind that the next room will take longer to bring upto standard due to maintaining the first and the same with subsequent rooms.

Also make the first room the one you relax in so that you aren't looking at the source of frustration too often.

I'm nearly there

I'm wondering how many here move frequently? That is part of my trick to streamline stuff, so I clear out the unnecessary junk each time!
Make as many horizontal spaces with just one central piece as you can to give the illusion of space and tidiness. I like the eye to be drawn to one big bold object rather than lots of smaller bits, but others like a more eclectic look. Make use of drawers to chuck things in, but then go through them every so often to dispose of things you haven't used.

Well, some of us quite like a messy life?

I find routines and sameness quite oppressive. I like not knowing what tomorrow or next week will bring.

I do enjoy tidying - but only if it’s got in a bit of a mess first. So you can see the difference!

Then there's my back kitchen, well it is a " working one " koff .

Seems the world's divided into messy and tidy freaks. My daughers anounced before Christmas they won't come to my home as it's too messy. which was hurtful. I look at what they see as 'mess' and see 'character'. I wouldn't dream of going into their homes and declaring them too pristine (which they are to me) each to their own...

I've pondered this for years and am aware my mother was what would now be considered OCD and spent her life cleaning the house, forcing me, as a smaall child, to do the same. She came from a family of 9 children and two adults squeezed into a three bedroom house, so her childhood was messy. My guess is that the messy/tidy thing might be kind of handed down from generation to generation.

But back to the 'now' and 'yes' I'm messy, well no...I like to have beautiful (to me) belongings surrounding me - it's more interesting than staring at a white wall

Oh goody, you can all come and visit me and you won't turn a hair . You'd actually be interested in me, as a person and not the surrounding chaos.
As I'd said on the Good Morning thread my living room looks like Steptoe's yard.

I'm really content in tidy. If I do ever have the urge to clean (and that's seldom) I would never get around to it if I had to tidy first. No sirree. My lovely Mum despaired of my lack in the domestic airts scene but pleaded with me to keep my p!ace tidy as 'it gives the impression of being clean'. Bless her. I give a smile and a wink heavenwards regularly over this. Being tidy also helps me keeps tabs on where things are. I need that help nowadays after mislaying important items such as keys. Don't mind one bit going into houses that are untidy. Find them quite homely and it's the people I'm there for, not the trappings. It's just another to each his own, isn't it? I'm really happy with my uncluttered (boring?) lifestyle. That's surely what it's all about isn't it? Do your own thing and enjoy life.