Leaving

We moved 250 miles 10years ago to be closer to DD s-i-l and grandchildren after living same house for 25 years. After couple of weeks we realised we had a whole new area of the country to explore, which meant new interests to discover.
You made the positive decision to move. Stay positive and enjoy new experiences x

I moved from my home of over 30 years to downsize. I had raised my children there and OH had lived with me there for around 10 years.
I read Marie Kondo’s book on decluttering and therefore only took with us the items/possessions we really loved and needed. What a relief! We love our new home and I hope you’ll be as happy in yours x

I wish you well. My DH and I moved ‘back home’ after 50 years. Many years were spent with RAF life, then 39 yrs in our own home. Our daughters were married, the house was too big, plus a garden and pond needing regular attention. The final straw was when ill health became a problem. The move was to a two bedroom Independent living flat. Gardeners, window cleaner and such are employed. Costs are covered by a Service Charge. Friends are kept in touch by ‘phone or FaceTime and visits. We have new friends and take part in Social events. We are content!

As you move onto different stages in life, there are times that you have to go through a sort of grieving process for what was.
With a home, it's more than bricks and mortar as there are so many memories that are wrapped within the walls and surroundings, but as with any other grieving, those memories are the ones you take with you as you move to a new home , new area to make new memories that will also be portable!
Give both of yourselves a bit of time, have a final walk around to say farewell .
It will be difficult for you both for a while, but you are moving for a reason , just keep reminding yourselves of that reason and may I wish you both all of the very best in your new home.

We did that five years ago. After thirty years in a small town, 45 miles from our home town, we moved back ‘ home ‘. We’d moved there for DH’s job. I had a teaching job there, and it was fine, but as we grew older, and, DH having various mental and physical difficulties, we opted to move as most of our family and friends were there, or at least an easier journey away. I wasn’t too upset, and was looking forward to the new house. I occasionally have flashbacks, and miss the nearby beach and some friends, though I’m still in contact with them. On the whole, no regrets.

Enjoy your new life and please dont get sad and look back. Move forward and embrace it as a new adventure. I wish you well.

We downsized 3 years ago from a large 5 bedroom house which we had been in for 35 years, into a small 2 bedroom bungalow.
Like you we were worried about all the memories with our children we would be leaving behind. 3 years on I can honestly say that it was the best thing we have ever done.
The children will have a lot less junk to clear through when we go, we have more disposable income, much easier to
clean, less money for fuel bills, the list of positives goes on. The one downside, not having enough room for the children and their families to stay over, fortunately, we have a Premier Inn within walking distance so we put them up there - much easier. I hope the move goes well.

I would find it extremely difficult to leave the house we have lived in for 30 years and raised our children in. I know my husband would like a bungalow for health reasons but as they are as rare as hen’s teeth we will be staying put. My mother half jokingly suggested last year that she sold her house and we sold ours and bought a large bungalow together. I think my husband and I dared not to look at one another as we were both mortified at the suggestion.

Yes we did last year after 35 years in the same house. It was a bit scary but personally I wasn't attached to the house but hubby was. It was him delaying the move for years. However once we moved he settled straight away, better than me actually. It was the best move we made, even he says we should have done it earlier.

We took photos of each room, walked around and talked about the memories, I cried, locked the door and stepped forward to our new beginnings. I’ve never looked at those photos! Good luck in your new life, it will invigorate you.

We downsized last year from the most perfect house imaginable and I was as worried as you are. However I'm very happy here, it's much smaller and we are about to start a major renovation which means that it will be perfect for us.
I do think about our old house and garden, but I can't honestly say that I feel sad now.
In some ways we were lucky because we had a couple of months in limbo staying somewhere else before completion, so I was so glad to finally arrive that everything else was pushed from my head.
Also I am close to two of my children which is nice, and have known the area where we are living for ten years.
My only worry now is how to get rid of the surplus furniture and "stuff" so that we can fit in our new place which is literally a quarter the size of our last home.
I'd say that you just need to think of the positives of your new home and also be grateful that you are moving before you are too old to manage a move yourselves - which happens to very many people who end up stuck in a large house which is unsuitable for your needs.

Gutenberg

Leaving a family home seems like a bereavement - not the bricks and mortar so much but of such an important time of life that is now, effectively, over. It's all tied up together. I think it's important to be able to talk about this. There is a danger of trying to jolly someone up when actually what they may need is to wallow in it, to grieve, to talk constantly about it with someone willing to listen, in order to get through it, to come to terms with it and to reach the other side. There is a danger of the party who is feeling most lost to feel that they cannot say what they are thinking because the other party will be fed up with them for persistently looking back. But talking is good even if it doesn't move things forward. Perhaps that conversation of 'was it the right thing to do' needs to be had over and over again, gently but firmly, and with the opportunity to mourn the loss of times past before grasping the future for all it has left to offer.

Really well put - this is exactly how we felt when moving from our first home after 24 years. I was the one with misgivings and it did help to talk about it - even in the knowledge that it was a done deal and nothing would change.

I too found it heart wrenching leaving my home where I’d raised my 3, however, my 2nd husband had turned it into a builders yard of half finished jobs ..... so it made it easier for me to leave it all behind and start anew. I then downsized as a single lady as all my 3 had flown the nest. I bought an attic flat in a huge Victorian house and turned it into my designer dream. Then all the GC started arriving so I upsized and bought a 3 bedroom town house overlooking a harbour, and that was filled with lovely memories of all 5 GC coming for sleepovers, beach weekends etc Then DD married and they bought a country house with a granny annexe, so I sold my house as they needed me, as they worked away etc and I moved in here. Son no: 1 lives in Kent, son no:2 lives in Jersey now ..... so I flit between the 3 and have a lovely time. My friends call me a nomad ? and I even leave clothes etc at my other “homes”. So how I feel is that all my memories are in both my head and my heart, with lots of photos as backup ! I often sing Paul Young’s song to myself .... “wherever I lay my hat, that’s my home” ? .... so just enjoy your next adventure and make some new memories ?

You made memories in your current home mainly of raising a family by the sound of it. The memories you both have are with you they will not be left in the bricks and mortar. Your move will be the opportunity to make new memories. Lived in a house for 33 years basically the era of family's childhood. The reason for leaving far outweighed any sadness associated with the unknown elements of moving. Keep DH busy and involved in decisions about the move. Try to have a break shortly after your move so that he physically and psychologically "comes home" to the new house. Hope all goes well.

Leaving a family home seems like a bereavement - not the bricks and mortar so much but of such an important time of life that is now, effectively, over. It's all tied up together. I think it's important to be able to talk about this. There is a danger of trying to jolly someone up when actually what they may need is to wallow in it, to grieve, to talk constantly about it with someone willing to listen, in order to get through it, to come to terms with it and to reach the other side. There is a danger of the party who is feeling most lost to feel that they cannot say what they are thinking because the other party will be fed up with them for persistently looking back. But talking is good even if it doesn't move things forward. Perhaps that conversation of 'was it the right thing to do' needs to be had over and over again, gently but firmly, and with the opportunity to mourn the loss of times past before grasping the future for all it has left to offer.

Think of the move as a process, not an event.

We did same . 27 years in a house full of happy memories but time to move on.
I couldn’t be happier a new area to explore, new house to get ship shape as we like and best of all a fantastic new community of neighbours which we didn’t have before. I’ve never regretted it once( I did have a little cry driving away tho!)
Be happy in your new home??

We moved from our home at a time when it was much wiser to buy larger than try to extend our small terrace, and we were desperate for space. I thought my heart would break as our children were born there, it was our first home, and I loved everything about it. To my surprise I didn't think about it at all in the following years - as other posters have said, you have a new home to put your own stamp on, and everything that matters comes with you! Good luck - I wish you every happiness, and feel sure it won't be as heart wrenching as you fear once it happens. xx

We moved from our home of 39 years 4 years ago, due to my husband's ill health , it has been the best thing we ever did . It was a very stressful time as we downsized but I can honesty say we don't regret it.

I may have said this before, but here goes:
My dear MiL left her home of 40 years gratefully - she said 'I always hated that house'. There were complex reasons that she & FiL were there in the first place, and then felt they had to stay. But it made me so sad to hear that. She loved the modern bungalow where they made their home for the last 15 years of her life.
So when we left our home (also 28 years) I cried, from the emotion of it all, knowing that I had lived in a wonderful home and had so many happy memories.
I took all of the good ideas that I could into our new home, to make it a happy place for the new phase in our lives.
This point in the change is the time to let yourself cry and be sad, and then make your new home a place to be comfortable and happy.

We left our house of over 30 years, 9 years ago. We felt it was too big and too isolated.
I cried buckets but knew, rationally, that we needed to. It has been a great success. We love the house, the small garden, and crucially, the access to buses, shops, trains etc., that this small town affords us.
Good luck!

Bluefox as soon as I put my house on the market I detached myself from my home . Once I found my new home couldn't wait to move. Unfortunately it wasn't straight forward as had 2 buyers pull out on me at the last minute. The house was to big for me and became a mill stone round my neck.

I was glad to leave my home of 34 years. I looked forward to a new life in my bungalow . Memories you take with you. Don't look back but to a new exciting future in your new home. A house is only bricks and mortar. It's people who make it a home.

Be glad you have exchanged as your buyer can't pull out .

You still have a lot of exciting things to look forward. Making your new home is fun. And new people to met .I now life my life to the full in my old house I existed not anymore.

Be happy in your new home. ?

We did this after 30 years and were in a house far too big for our need. We were happy to leave in the knowledge that our DCs had their own homes and we’re making memories with their families.
We had a family lunch before the packers came and the DCs said goodbye to their childhood home.
We weren’t moving far, and in fact hadn’t found our downsized house, we treated the in between time as a lovely holiday as all our stuff was in storage. Quite liberating really. It all worked out well in the end. Good luck, and I’m sure you’ll soon be making your new home cosy.

We lived in our first home for 24 years and it was a real wrench to move. Mum lived a few hours drive away from us and had had some serious health issues. We decided to pool our resources and buy a bigger house so we could all be together. I cried buckets the day we left and was homesick for weeks. It worked out OK though OP. It takes time to settle, but once you have your possessions round you in your new place, it won’t be long before it starts to feel like home. Good luck.

You have perhaps decided to move in order to downsize. We did that six years ago - the old house was just too big for us and I dread to think what the heating bills will be now! It meant getting rid of a lot of furniture and other things which had sentimental value. We moved to a completely different area and it felt like being on holiday. I dreaded leaving our old house but it was the right thing to do. This one is much easier to maintain and my husband no longer has three acres of grass to cut! You will always remember your old house fondly but this is a new and exciting chapter in your lives. Carpe diem!