Help calm me. House buying and selling stress *Part 10*

A year ago to the day was my last payment to my decorator after living in a mess for over six months. I was just pondering over the last year when I put my house and garden into final future-proofed order, even the garden now has sedums on the soil, so no mowing will be needed and everywhere is drought-proofed and pretty

All tweakes and current maintenance are finished and I have re-homed a fair few things, mostly to people who may be of need. I have changed tap and sink and am delighted with my new one, the stainless steel is so much better. The plumbers are now quite a big firm that we used for the past 14 years. Fantastic work

My neighbour got themselves pv panels, I did ponder but no way would I be here long enough to break even. I am expecting 1.25 cu m of logs soon and relish the thought of lifting and moving them. I miss the heavy lifting from the garden, I must have moved tonnes of rocks and rubble

My garage is much clearer and neater and I can easily have space to maintain my 3 bikes, in case you wonder, one is an ebike, one is a hybrid (good all year around), one is a very fast twitchy road bike with very highly pumped tyres. I went out yesterday on my hybrid and the lanes all look clear of thorns now so road bike it is for now and the forseeable

My lagging and pipe-mending in the loft has worked very well. Loft hatch is now closed and I will hardly be up there now. Its an awful loft to work in, criss crosses of timbers and deep fluffy lagging

All in all I am very glad that I bought a brand new house within walking distance of all facilities. If I ever bought a new property again then I would most definitely get a pre-occupation full snagging survey, including loft fixtures. In the meantime, I am saving, just in case dd moves when I would go live failrly close, could well be wales. I hope so, that is where I spent over 40 years and really and truly where my roots belong

It is so good when people are really happy and content with the places they have purchased and moved to.

It is, after all, the most expensive purchase in our lives, and is horrible when people go through all the heartache and problems of moving - and they are not happy.

Like karmalady my move 150 miles from London to my flat in WsM was one of the best decisions of my life. I am so very happy here.

Have been unwell over past week (bronchitus), had expected it to start improving by now (GP puts me onto anti-biotics for this in case it is bacterial), but actually feeling worse now that earlier on. Feel as if it developing into flu. I am not good at asking for help, but did this morning have to ask my daughter to come over to change my bedding, as I knew I did not have the energy to do this. This is now all in washing machine. She will also return later today with an evening meal for me. Yesterday she came over and helped me sort out the patio/ balcony and get it 'dressed' for summer. Any movement by me causes coughing fits. Glorious warm sunny day yesterday, and it was wonderful being able to unwind the awning that I'd had put up late last summer, and be able to protect my large patio door/windows from the sun, whilst leaving that and the vertical blinds wide open.

Easter Sunday each year makes me remember that it was on that day (on avery hot one), that I first viewed this flat, back in 2019/ I was then in a lot of pain, (had fractured my spine six weeks earlier), and saw this as the sixth viewing on that day, when I was realyl not in a good place and felt it was not for me, although my daughter was very keen on it. Thanks goodness, things worked out in the end, When I viewed it again August that year, it had been reduced by ten grand, and I had received an extra five grand offer on my house. Must say, when I first moved in I did have a few times when I almost panicked as to how near I came in NOT getting it.

Nothing to add to the thread but like to read it…🤗

It's lovely those of us who moved around about a similar time are all happy in our new homes. Hard to believe it will be 4 years in August since I moved here . Time has flown by. I am a completely different person who I was. I live my life to the full and not the old me who only existed.

If I hadn't moved here I still wouldn't have my diagnosis of 2 things I was born with. People here are so different and the health care brilliant. Transport links are very good. Even the weather is so different. I have more friends than I have ever had. And never slept better since my first night here.

I never want to go back to where I came from . It holds no interest for me. I feel like I have always lived here.

Franbern hope you feel a lot better soon. Well remember your adventure until you finally found your lovely apartment. Soon be time to put out your balcony furniture.

Karmalady under your old name helped me so much as when I first found this thread I was at the end of my tether. Didn't know which way to turn. But this thread and everyone's stories helped me and I didn't feel alone anymore in my moving.

My garden is bathed in sunlight and full of colour . My greenhouse yielded kale,chard,potatoes and rocket over the winter. Will harvest more kale ,chard and rocket this week. The potatoes I had at Christmas.. This week will be sowing veg seeds for the garden and greenhouse . Giving my bench a cost of varnish ready to put it out.

Have a lovely Easter everyone.

I have no business being on this thread, but I do like to read it, with all the goings on.
We are not going to move, now, our home is future proofed as far as we can make it, and is very comfortable.
Franbern sorry to hear that you are unwell, but hope that you soon feel better. I would love to live in an apartment like yours.
Is it Urmstongran, who live in a flat over a supermarket? That sounds a good choice.
I have followed several posters with their trials and tribulations, most with happy outcomes, and have learned a lot.
I hope this thread keeps going, so that I can keep reading.

Franbern, whiff, I hope you both remain well and happy. Thread stalwarts from the beginning. Franbern, sorry that you are going through a period of ill health.

I must say that I have been doing such a lot of thinking after my lovely kind healthy neighbour had a stroke, yes he is 80 but it was so out of the blue. His independence in his own home is now in jeopardy and his daughter? who is she? I have seen her twice in two years. Son says that I need to take a step back, I know that, his health is now a family matter

No one younger in my family seems to appreciate how that can affect me, just another neighbour but they will get the picture when they reach 75. I don`t tell them how I feel, being at the far end of life, I just get on with life, including cycling

This is what really made me think about living nearer to dd2 and if it is wales then it will also be much closer to dd1, son who cares very much, lives in glasgow, an almost impossible journey to where I live

Final home destination is very important, particularly access to transport and perhaps being able to get a taxi is equally important. No taxis here

my son told me to take a step back, neighbour only has a daughter

I do feel sadness at the sudden change in his life, he was always doing things and put my oak mantlepiece up, mens club, volunteering etc. Only two weeks ago he was at the top of a high ladder

Karmalady sorry to hear about your neighbour. You mention the absence of his daughter - but no=one knows what the background to this has been. I do know that there have been times when ignorant of the facts hospital staff have made comments about the lack of our children visiting their father very much during one of frequent hospital stays. I know that it is amazingly forgiving for them to visit him at all!!!! People meeting him for the first or second time say how great he is, they have to get to know him better before his real character comes out. I can well remember back a few years when, although divorced, I was visiting him and taking things backwards and forwards from his flat, when one time he was so dreadfully nasty to me that I arrived back at his flat in tears. The Warden there saw me and cuddled me saying 'Well, at least you do not have to worry about him having to live with you any more!!!'

A friend of mine (younger) had a stroke a few months back. Shock to all, she was a very active lady, involved as a coach and a judge in elite sport. Could have been her very active life, flying all over the world to meets, etc. they may have contributed to this. She has carefully obeyed all information and advice she was given for her recovery and is well on her way back to nearly how she was prior to that stroke, although no more rushing off to planes, etc. So, your neighbour could be able to live back in his own home with support.

It is the loss of independence that many older people, like myself, fear most of all.

I did enjoy the shepherds pie that my daughter brought round last night. Did me a lot of good, as I felt that I was starting to improve - and can confirm that this morning. Still a long ay to go, but at least it is in the right direction. Will have a further day just relaxing in my recliner chair, watching the cherry blossom come out on the trees in the local main road. Just having a shower and eating my porridge this morning has totally exhausted me. But I am no longer wheezing and coughing so much. I am looking forward to the weekly phone call (although she did phone during the week when she learned I was unwell), from my daughter in London later today, particularly as my eldest g.daughter is home from Uni and I will be able to speak to her also. Have not told my other children, no point in worrying them and there is nothing any of them can do. Saw that the Pope was taken into hospital for the same condition. Must say I was desperate to avoid that, the worst night I did consider ringing 111 but was worried that they would just send an ambulance. They hear words like 'asthma', 'bronchitus', 'COPD', nearly 82 years old and (for me) overreact!!!

If I am going to be unwell, could not be more comfortable than in a lovely flat, with everything so close to hand (kitchen, en-suite facilities)), marvellous 4-motor riser/recliner chair in gorgeous airy, sunny living room.

Sorry to meander on. Hope everyone is enjoying the long bank holiday weekend. I sit and remember back in the sixties, when Easter for me always meant the Aldermarston March.

yes a nice day today, bit of this and that and sat in the sun listening to the archers. Then an old dvd I must have found in a cs called "from time to time", truly excellent film. Maggie Smith etc. Much better than being in noisy crowds or on busy roads today.

I think being in an even temperature indoors will help your healing process Franbern, the air is still cold out at times.

I have stopped worrying about my neighbour, he has a female OH who is 83 and can drive but is herself frail and I could hear her adult children at his house. I believe that they will help as much as they can. They are au fait with getting a care package put into place, one of them used to be a social worker. However nationally care funding was cut by half last weekend and that in itself is very scary

To Wales tomorrow, family day

Good morning, I’ve enjoyed the posts on this thread for a long time and now find myself embarking on a similar journey.
At the moment we are on a break on the South Coast where we had hoped to find our ideal home, j til recent events have caused us to have a rethink.
Sadly after some bad news regarding our youngest daughters health a few of weeks ago, we have realised that we will need to pool our resources with our other daughter who wants to move out of Cornwall, this will then provide cover for help for our youngest, it was our eldest daughter who (more or less) told us that we will all need to be closer together as we age and as MissOops health worsens, we also have The Nephew in the mix who has quite severe mental health problems!
Anyway it is what it is and we will make a serious start decluttering when we get home.
The bathroom redesign will have to be scrapped and just a new replacement fitted and Woden floorings throughout will be new carpets instead, then valuations and the house hunting will start in earnest.
We will be looking for a smallholding with 2 houses on it and then we will look for something within a 5 mile radius for ourselves, I think finding something with 3 properties already built on site might be hard to find.
Let’s hope we can find somewhere we all want to live at a price we can afford!

Sorry for typos , too numerous to correct now!

Oh dear, Oops, sounds as if you have a lot to think about at present. It is good that, as a family, you are all working together. Hopefully, your youngest daughter may get some better news regarding her health problems.

Looking for three properties on one site - sounds difficult, but some of rhe very large properties often lend themselves to be able to worked in this way, think the more difficult part will be co-ordinating the sale of three properties

Do let us know how you go on. Perhaps 'Escape to the Country'. might be for you.

Franbern, lovely to seey ou posting. I have been worried about you, I do know you haven`t been well lately

Oh dear oops, so sorry about the change in circumstances. I also think that three properties on a smallholding will be very difficult to find. Your best bet, for 3, would be a large property which can be divided or second best would be a property with an annexe and a barn for conversion or a property next door

Many small holdings have agricultural restrictions on them, dd has one, it refers to property ownership. At the same time, I do understand the gathering together of family but also you need to think about future accessibility to services etc, I am sure you are doing that. Several people moved to my dd area and cannot cope with country isolation. A smallholding near to services will be nigh on impossible to find, unless there is over a million £ available

karmalady yes a lot of thought will have to go into it, we are looking for 5 acres or so, that way there should be no Agricultural restrictions. Only 2 properties to be sold as youngest daughter is on benefits, she is unable to work any more. We will need to adapt a property for her to cope with her disability.
The problem is we might all have different ideas on what we want and need , however we will all need to make adjustments to our wants to get anywhere. Lots of discussions still to be had, 2 retirees, 2 disabled adults and 2 still able to work, with visiting adult children.
What could go wrong??

We live in a rural area anyway so looking for similar will probably be the only way we can afford it.
At the moment there are quite a few properties with holiday cottages for sale, presumably because of the new charges for ‘empty’ homes. Anyway we will go on a recce in May to see what’s around. I just need to be near a beach, that’s my only ‘want’ half an hour will be fine…..
Meanwhile decluttering with a vengeance and valuations to be done.

Franbern me on the Telly box with repeats being played ad infinitum,?

what a terrible thought!!

However never say never.

oops I was thinking about a set of holiday properties while I was out this morning.

My dd smallholding is 3.5 acres and there are thousands of properties with agri restrictions. At least a holiday property would be up and running, ready to use

Oh gosh, this is really going to stretch your thinking oops. Very good luck with all the de-cluttering and all the legal stuff

Oops wish you well on your epic hunt. Hope you have got a lot of money stashed away as what you want won't be cheap. But if you all pool what money you can afford you should be able to get what you want.
Karma is fully of good advice as always.

Just had a thought you would like Lincolnshire. It's flat plenty of rural areas and affordable at the moment.

Whiff we are looking around, but if you look as the projected water levels in the U.K. you will see that by 2050 most of Lincolnshire is predicted to be under water.

We will need to head for the hills!!

Karma exactly, we need houses to be on the land, we can’t afford to put in for planning then have it refused.

I don’t think anything will happen quickly.

Oops my brother and sister in law moved to Digby in Lincolnshire 2 years ago and love it . They have never been flooded no matter how much water. No where near a river. It's a flat county but doesn't mean they will flood.

Where I live in North West it's flat and my garden used to flood but my bungalow was safe. No where near a river but the sea is 10 mins drive away in a car. I solved the problem of my garden flooding but having it flatten and soak ways fitted down the length of my bungalow at the back soak aways from the bungalow along the garage to the fence and the paving cambered to the soak ways . I have and artificial lawn which has plenty of hard core and granular plus a foam padding which is water rot proof and has drainage holes in it . It's 1" thick. I fall a lot so it safer for me. The front garden the paving was cambered to run into the soak way on the drive.

If the properties you look at have already been flooded then steer clear but if only a maybe they are steps you can take to prevent flooding. Don't let fear of something that may happen put you off a place . The only way to never get flooded is live on the top of a hill or in a high rise apartment.

Live for now my husband dieing aged 47 taught me that . He died 19 years ago. No one now's what will happen next week or next year so why worry about something that may happen in 2050.

What your requirements are will be difficult to achieve if you limit yourself to what it's. And lot of counties will be to expensive for you even to consider. I moved here in 2019 my bungalow is worth £100,000 more than I paid for it as property prices have risen that much in the short time here.

I hope you have already set a budget of what you can afford and made lists of what you want ,what you don't want and what you are willing to have done.

Enjoy your new home journey and develop a thick skin and be prepared for stress off the chart and do not believe someone who says they are a cash buyer unless your solicitor sees a bank statement with the full amount in it. And nothing is safe until exchange has taken place.

I’m afraid as we will be living in a ‘multi generational’ home as they call it, we have to worry about flooding in 20/30 years time.
Climate change is happening whether we like it or not.

Yes I think a thick skin will be needed, although we have bought and sold 10 times (mostly fixer uppers) we haven’t moved for over 20 yrs and judging by this thread, things have certainly changed.

Decluttering and valuations to be done first though, with hopefully a move by the middle of 2024, with possibly a rental for us in the meantime.

Do think we all need to be much more aware of future flooding. I do not mean the occasional ones in very bad weather, but areas in which we currently live being under water due to climate change. To say not to worry about what is going to happen in 25/30 years time is blinkered. In housing terms, these are very short periods, many of us downsizing are leaving homes we have lived in for tht period or more.

My daughter and SiL in WsM are looking at moving over the next year, and he will not even look at any properties not well up the hillside as he has seen so many projections of the coastal areas being under water within the next few decades.

For me thinking of 25 years time is way beyond my time, but for any multi-generational occupation it is not very far into the future.

Oops - you have quite an adventure ahead of you. An exciting one. Think Karma's idea of looking for somewhere with holiday lets as part of the property a good idea, you can always then develop these further once living there. Whereabouts are you going to be looking?

Franbern not to sure yet, we have to get valuations and see how much we have to spend!
Most of it will be our money so it will have to stretch.

Maybe Welsh borders or South Wales ?as one of us still has to go out of the home to work, and 3 work from home.
As I would rather go South, but now can’t afford to ( having to trail the rest of the family behind me) mid Wales is my limit on how far ‘up’ to go, as we still have family on the South Coast.

s wales was my home for very many years and I love everything about it. It is possible to get reasonably priced property there and there is/was an excellent transport system. I could easily get the little train, or the bus, to cardiff station and the bus station is directly opposite that.

Obviously to get value for money, you would have to look outside of the vale of glamorgan but there are many areas near the valleys that are very beautiful, although valley towns may look run down. The people are so warm hearted and friendly. I would suggest also to base any decision on access to the local station

I used to live in the vale of glamorgan and we downsized to rhondda cynon taff area, first was a village outside of cowbridge, now an expensive area. Then to pontyclun with its train station. Really good shopping facilities close by but traffic, like almost everywhere, has greatly increased, together with proliferation of new housing estates

I knew many people from the valleys, they really did tend to have been to the same schools and therefore it was understandable that they seemed a bit cliquey. Vale of glamorgan was not at all cliquey