De-cluttering, the never-ending process

MayBee70 😢 I’d feel the same 💐

I have booked a decorator to do all four bedrooms before Christmas, so need to get rid of as much as possible before then. I am away next week but plan to get back on the case when I get back, and aim for a bin bag a week for donation and as much as possible for disposal. I hate doing it but will be happy when all the bedrooms are finished. I did downstairs last year, so when I get this out of the way there will just be the kitchen and bathroom to go.

That is a big job doodledog. 2021/22 I had my whole interior decorated in stages, moved all my furniture by myself, helped by having quickstep flooring. I used a pry tool from amazon and felt pads for the heavy stuff but eventually every item of furniture got sticky -back big felt pads underneath, now I can just push without risk of scratching the floor.

The whole process was very disrupting and unsettling to me by myself, it started in june and only finished in january and the whole time was spent in muddle. I only really de-cluttered after that

Thinking about it, there have been stages of de-cluttering and obviously some when moving family homes, easy (ish) then, as I had a husband. The biggie was 2006 from large family home and garden to town house, skip was needed. 2010 an easy move to village with husband.

2019 a most difficult move as a widow. In between 2015 and 2019 I de-cluttered like crazy but did not do enough and brought things here that I have since removed, not furniture fortunately. The man at recycling said it was very common to see people there after moving in, hardly anyone estimates correctly

Satisfying yesterday, the four bags have gone and another heavy bag resides in the big bin, I am on a `use it up `mission now particularly sewing but I have slowed my pace of work and am still de-cluttering eg yesterday, another top and two patterns out.

I just sat and looked at all the mess yesterday in a comatose sort of way. There are cracks around the two windows that have been replaced. The window company are coming out today to fill them, but it means that those two rooms are out of bounds for now as there will no doubt be more dust created. The quote to remove the asbestos from the porch and garage came through yesterday. Along with having to replace the garage door because of the asbestos removal it will use up a huge chunk of my savings including money put aside to replace my car and boiler when necessary. I’m a bit overwhelmed by it all. Plus the fact that I seem to work better when the weather is good: the current weather has put me into hibernation mode!

After an unproductive day yesterday I have really got stuck in this morning. Good use of a very wet day. My grandson is coming to help tomorrow, which has spurred me on. He is going to help with electrical and electronic devices, of which there are so many, plus all the cables, instruction booklets etc .we are going to take the most modern ones to cash converters. GS is worried that his ancient Granny might get short-changed, so he has looked up values and will do the talking!

Maybee, that is very overwhelming and a bummer to deal with, well done for grabbing the bull by the horns and once done, that will be for your future. One day it will all become easier

Oh Cabbie, thankgoodness for helpful and kind grandchildren. Your husband would be so proud of him, looking after his grandma

It is time for me to have a break, this weather turns me into a project machine. Not de-cluttering this time but eyes open for anything I will never need

My ex has now decided that the asbestos doesn’t need removing: he’s worked out a way of reconfiguring the garage without disturbing the asbestos! But that means that there’s no urgency now to clear the garage out. The window people have caulked the window but I much prefer using Polyfilla!

Nearly 1 bookcase shelving sorted 6 carrier bags of books to take somewhere.
2 bookcases still to sort, once I find somewhere to take the books, if all else fails it will be off to the recycling centre.

Maybee I hope your ex knows that the asbestos is safe, can you get an expert in to check for you?

It’s been checked and it is a dangerous form of asbestos.My ex is a train engineer and is pretty knowledgeable. My opinion has always been that it’s best to leave asbestos alone if you’re not coming into contact with it. Removal is going to take three days. It’s close to gas pipes that can’t be isolated and there’s a lot of wiring in there too. It’s like opening up a Pandora’s box of problems! It never even crossed my mind to remove it until he said it needed doing! It might need removing if anyone moves into the house in the future and want to reconfigure the house, but it will also need rewiring as well at some point. I just want to make the house livable in and warm. I’ve reached a point of thinking that, as no one in my family has the time to help me declutter now I might as well leave it to them to sort out in the future and spend the time reading books and watching box sets!

I have another problem with my decluttering. My partner and I don’t live together but, because of the pandemic we obviously had to be together 24/7. However, even though he now stays at his own home, which is just up the road, he still comes to my house each day and sits in the living room till @ 9 or 10 at night. He also walks our shared dog, something I can’t do as much because of my dodgy knees. Now, I know this is peculiar to me but, when my children were still at home I always did my housework after they’d gone to bed and major cleaning or decluttering was done when their father was away in business, which was a lot of the time. For some reason I can’t motivate myself when there is someone else in the house. It isn’t as if it’s because we sit and talk because I’m usually in a different room. I don’t know how to get back to how it was before when he didn’t come round every day. I’ve always made it clear that I’m someone that likes to have time to myself. I’ve asked him to have our dog at his house for a few days saying that I can’t get things done because of the dog, but she isn’t actually a problem ( she just sleeps all the time and doesn’t have the telly on!). I know at some point I need to spell it out in black and white but I’m someone that has to build myself up to something like that and then I just tend to explode! He will do jobs on the house for me that I can’t do if it involves a bit of brute force. He also does the shopping and visits his son. Apart from looking after my grandchildren or grand dog in the school holidays I don’t seem to get out and meet anyone. He’s just taken the dog back to his house as the grandchildren are coming here tomorrow and I have to totally blitz the house. I know I can do the work when he’s here but for some weird reason I don’t. (Just needed to get this off my chest: don’t expect any solutions other than saying something to him). I don’t understand why I can’t motivate myself when he’s here. Right from when I first knew him I found him to be very controlling but he is a genuinely nice kind person.I’ve just had a new door fitted and I quite like the fact that he doesn’t have a front door key and am putting off having one cut!

For some reason I can’t motivate myself when there is someone else in the house.

I would find that difficult too.

You couldnt shut the door on him and get on with things?
I appreciate the problem.

He wouldnt or couldnt help?
Again, if it was my situation, there is not an awful lot another person could help with. Just bits and pieces.

Yesterday my grandson spotted seven huge tubs in the loft and today my granddaughter helped get them down- all part of Mr Cabbie’s collection, so I need to sort them asap. I just want everything gone now, but there is so much sorting to do, including things the family have asked for but not yet taken.

Specialist auction for the collection, quality auction for other good stuff, general auction for general stuff, give away, charity shop, recycle, tip. It is overwhelming, and help is only very occasionally available.

fancythat

*For some reason I can’t motivate myself when there is someone else in the house. *

I would find that difficult too.

You couldnt shut the door on him and get on with things?
I appreciate the problem.

He wouldnt or couldnt help?
Again, if it was my situation, there is not an awful lot another person could help with. Just bits and pieces.

That’s right. It’s not his house. Not his memories. He does help with heavy jobs that I can’t do and says if there’s anything you want me to do just ask but there’s something irritating about someone sitting and watching tv when I’m trying to do things. He also retired years before I did and I used to have to go to work and leave him watching tv, too! My head feels all cluttered when there’s someone around all the time. And he doesn’t seem to notice the mess and says you could clear that in a day easily. His own house is a typical man’s pied a terre.Pre pandemic we used to go on days out or to the theatre and cinema a lot but now we just tend to be stuck at home. I have the grandchildren tomorrow and mentioned that I was going to take them for a cake at a local cafe and he said I’ll meet you there. But I wanted to take them on my own.

Cabbie21

Yesterday my grandson spotted seven huge tubs in the loft and today my granddaughter helped get them down- all part of Mr Cabbie’s collection, so I need to sort them asap. I just want everything gone now, but there is so much sorting to do, including things the family have asked for but not yet taken.

Specialist auction for the collection, quality auction for other good stuff, general auction for general stuff, give away, charity shop, recycle, tip. It is overwhelming, and help is only very occasionally available.

I’ve got my ex in-laws stuff in the loft along with my ex’s stuff in the loft and garage. My children’s art work from A levels. My daughter has room for hers but my son only has a tiny house. I sometimes wish I could move into a caravan in the garden but the garden isn’t big enough!

On YT, searching out decluttering, downsizing videos, found Shannon Torrens and her mum, embracing Death Cleaning with a vengeance, describing their ruthless decluttering, how not to hold on to ‘just in case’ clothes, how it can be a long process. They are a good team, honest, humorous, clearly spoken, recommended.

Ohhhhh I LOVE to de-clutter but I have a husband who says NO... everything I take outside and HIDE in the bin unbelievably finds its way back in the house, its like he has a radar that goes off at an alarming pitch if the bin lid is opened ..... infuriates me.

I also found a video of Oprah interviewing Danish people
in Copenhagen, remarking on their small spartan streamlined (light bright airy chic) homes, Where is all your stuff?
husband replies, we do not have Stuff - less stuff more life

I’m trying to employ the tactics from Sort your life out ie grouping things together to see how many duplicates there are. A lot of the problem is BOGOF deals and buy one get one half price. Plus pandemic stockpiling. I’ve got bottles and bottles of shampoo because I was always searching for one that would stop my hair from falling out! For some reason I use far more conditioner than shampoo. I guess not much hair means not much shampoo needed!I can’t just throw them out of give them away though, because I’m on a small pension. I used to use far more when I went to the gym every day and used the sauna. And I’m always trying new cleaning products even though I do try to stick to environmentally friendly stuff. I always think a new product will turn me into a domestic goddess! Fat chance of that! It doesn’t help that I still have to make an appointment to go to the council tip so things tend to accumulate in the garage.

When my mother died, my sister opened a large. blanket box
tucked away on the landing. It was full of cards and letters sent to her over many years. Hundreds. She went through them all, over a few evenings. They were picked up by a charity.
Dad wasn’t at all sentimental and didn’t even know they were there.
It’s truly melancholy making to think of all the many photographs binned and burnt, of people we didn’t know,
not our memories, same as my daughters.
I asked them if they wanted the New Baby cards when they were born, so many, looked at me askance, saying, we have no idea who these people were they are yours not ours.
Anything they may have fought over they have now.
Occasionally when either displease me I threaten to cut her/them out of my will, eliciting shrieks of laughter, fooling no one.
There are a couple of items I regret disposing of, despite the financial rewarding, bound to happen.

Don’t forget to advise of pin numbers and passwords.
They know any hard cash is in the freezer (frozen assets) hoping it will still be a valid currency, otherwise I will just have to spend it.

I have moved 11 times since leaving home, and there will be one final move to downsize, I am in the middle of de cluttering at this very moment, give a lot of items to a lady that is helping the homeless. I will never have a minimalistic home 🤣 try as I might

My cousin who was a lot older than me, had lots of postcards sent by family members a long long time ago. I loved them so much. Unfortunately I ended up keeping everyone’s cards because if it. Apart from the cards when I had my first baby. My husband wouldn’t speak to me because I’d had a girl and I threw them all away I regret it now….

Progress is still quietly on-going. Three stashes from my fabrics are now made up into clothing and two are going to DDs, they were requested.

Last weekend I learnt that dgs 16 really wanted to learn accordion, he was showing me his progress on guitar at the time. He did not know that I have an excellent new hohner accordion in a fab rucksack case, tucked under my bed.

A trip to wiltshire by the weekend and I will be taking hand made dungarees and a beautiful accordion plus all the `progressive` teach yourself books. I am very happy to be properly re-homing that package and to `potentially` be giving dgs and dgd new hobbies

I like to do the travelling to them, my car does not do many miles per year as it is and a good run is always beneficial

After mum died. all the old black and white photos were dumped on me by the sibling who was in charge of clearing. My dh copied quite a few photos and I made a photo book for my six siblings. No-one wanted any of the originals so they went, apart from half a dozen that I wanted to keep for myself

Still de-cluttering slowly, in between having been ill for weeks.
I am determined, come rain or shine. Though have to be careful I dont miss the Summer altogether. Or make myself feel worse in the process.

My youngest DD was here for a few days. Went through the last of her things[apart from what is in the attic already].
I have kept bits and pieces of the kids'.
I decided that when she came this time, I wold pare down some more, see what she wanted of what was left, and put a bit in attic.
It has all freed up some more space in what was her childhood bedroom.

It's good to hear that you are all plodding on.

I am joining in as of tomorrow. I am getting the bedrooms decorated before Christmas, and will need to clear enough space for the decorators to get into them. I'm dreading it, but plan to use the BH weekend to crack on and get rid of as much as possible. We did downstairs this time last year, and I surprised myself at how much I got rid of, so I know it can be done. Unfortunately, quite a lot of the detritus found its way into spare bedrooms 'out of the way', so this isn't going to be a quick job, but needs must, and it will be worth it to have the bedrooms all done whilst downstairs is still looking fresh.

If I keep repeating 'This will be worth it. This will be worth it.' it will keep me going. Probably 🥺