De-cluttering, the never-ending process

Oh I do so understand. DH had so many tools, books, gadgets. So many hobbies, not all continued in recent years but he would never get rid of anything.
This week the family have been picking out the odd book, DVD, even old Beatles records. The occasional treasure, one book declared to be the absolute best source material for xxx, like gold dust. Well I would never have known. Nor would most people. A set of lino cutter tools, what on earth?, said one.

We have now agreed that apart from his one special collection, which is very valuable, and some silver etc which has intrinsic value and will be sold, everything else can go. Lots will be sent to auction, some might make £10, some £70 if we are lucky, a fraction of what was paid, but much will go to the recycling centre. Eventually I will have to do the same with more items, which are part of the household, not DH’s collectibles, but just too much stuff. I will never be a minimalist, but eventually it will be liberating.

I started a very emotional difficult phase this morning. I have been tossing about in bed while it was going through my mind last night. I know I must do it

I took up wood carving after my husband died and when money meant nothing, I joined his group and bought tool after expensive tool and very many book, went on courses and to exhibitions. You get the picture. Wood carving is not in my heart and I took it up, I think, to delay the inevitable clearing as he loved that hobby and was an excellent carver

The books are all the nice shiny softback A4 types and there are a lot. The gauges are all safely stashed in large pizza coolbags, under a bed. The bigger items are all in the garage

It is so hard as I have emptied full two ring folders this morning and come across some items that he printed but most was mine, torn from carving and scrollsaw magazines. All those are in a bag now, also more magazines and it will be a recycling run later

I am finding it impossible to `let go` of the tools but if someone came and asked to buy them, they would be released. I cannot face the facebook or ebay way

Thats good cabbie, I do like it when nice things stay in the family.

We had two office desks, solid heavy oak and the buyer for my house wanted one, I brought the other one and put it into my sewing room. Took out the middle tray, sawed the small legs down to the base, used shelf supports and added an extension at the back. It is now an excellent sewing space, certainly not floppy and can cope with some heavy machines

I am having a week off de-cluttering, don`t have the oomph for it right now, not even 3 a day

I can’t do any practical clearing because of an injury but my daughter has put things online and they have been collected - either for free or at very low prices but at least it clears a bit of space. Just heard that my son wants a desk so I am pleased it is staying in the family.

I got rid of a few more bits yesterday, but today's been slower. I have a work deadline, so I'm not likely to do much tomorrow either, and I'm out for lunch on Monday, which will use up most of the day, as it's in the city centre so I need to add on travelling times. The rest of the week will be full-on, though, as the decorators come the week after, and I need to be sorted by then.

I do similar doodledog, I did a photo on whatsapp yesterday and my things were snapped up. Thankfully I have 6 siblings so never got fobbed off with things from my mum. I did get some ornaments from a sister in law, hated them and whoops, the tray they were on fell onto hard ground

I tend to buy the best I can afford too, but so have my children, so they already have nice casserole dishes and plates - they don't want mine, and they definitely don't want my old clothes.

My mum was always palming her things onto me, and I didn't like to refuse, which is partly why I ended up with too much clutter . She would clear out a cupboard and turn up at my house with bags of 'stuff' that I was meant to be grateful for. I'll never forget the 20 or so chopsticks that came with three odd rolls of wallpaper. She would also follow up by asking if I still used x y or z, and look pained if I said I'd got rid of it.

I am not doing that to my children. I tell them if I am getting rid of something I think they might want - I post a photo on the family WhatsApp group so they and their partners can see it - and if they don't want it they know I won't be offended. It then goes on the local Freecycle equivalent, or goes to the charity shop if it's portable. No guilt. None. Zilch. B*gger all Well, except for mine, of course. I'm stuck with that, I'm afraid, but the cycle stops here.

I don`t feel guilty, not at all. I have always tried my best and never spent beyond my means, ok often it is a want and not a need but I am not needy and these wants help the endorphins to brighten my life

My mil always said to buy the best I could afford, I have been doing that for a few years, always knowing that my things will be wanted one day by my AC and my dgc. eg Le creuset never goes out of style

Personally, I would never have a helper to organise me, I know myself best and nothing has ever phased me, I get through things in nibbles. My best helper, after I was widowed, was my large shopping trolley which I loaded up with maybe stuff and from there I either moved that stuff to cs or back from whence it came. The actual recycling stuff was made a lot easier, being friendly with the men at the depot, I was almost always able to hand things on for re-use or for them to sell

It's such a mindbending process, isn't it? (#euphemism).

I completely understand the guilt and feelings of selfishness, yet at the same time I felt guilty and disorganised before I started.

Currently listening to the Clutterbug podcast while I’m decluttering. Not sure that it’s helping as I still feel guilty and selfish when I throw things away.

Absolutely.

Doodledog

I can do that myself free . Plus, I hate being jollied along - it brings out the grump in me.

Oh, I'd dig my heels in and it would make me more determined to keep my treasures rubbish 😁

I can do that myself free . Plus, I hate being jollied along - it brings out the grump in me.

I agree Doodledog - I can't see a professional doing anything other than jollying you along and making the odd suggestion. I know someone who had a lady to help her sort her wardrobe. She basically helped her put everything in three piles - charity shop, rubbish, keep. My friend was killing herself laughing when she told me that she ended up with a huge 'keep' pile, a bit of rubbish and a few things for the charity shop. She did get some help with sorting her wardrobe out so she could find things but it was almost as full at the end as it was at the beginning.

It's a mindset really, isn't it? Mine has been to hang onto things 'just in case', but I'm hoping to shift it.

The collection people came, and I counted out 16 binbags . There have been more that have gone to the tip, too. It's amazing how many surplus items one house can hold. Oddly, things don't look much different though. Most of the things were in cupboards and drawers.

Doodledog

We've only had three houses since we got married - we've been in this one for 25 years. I think that has a lot to do with collecting clutter. Moving does make you go through your things, whether you are ruthless with them or not.

I would find the idea of moving very stressful, but maybe when I've got rid of a lot of things it will seem less so. I'm not looking to move for the foreseeable future, but a (rare) bungalow came up for sale near me recently, and it crossed my mind that in maybe ten years we might want to look at one like it. It would be good to get to the point where we could move relatively easily if we wanted to.

Although not a regular on here, I do have a look occasionally. I’m a regular chucker outer, if it’s not been used in a year it’s recycled.
But, I agree Doodledog about moving. We lived in France for four years, but only March to late October, meanwhile, our house was on a short term rental, fully furnished. That really focused our heads on sorting out any clutter and the habit has remained.
We’re in a three bed semi, with no garage, so few hiding places!

It's interesting, but I just don't see how it can work. As I said, if someone can't see the floor in their house for actual junk then someone can sweep in and clear up, but otherwise the householder will have to do it themselves really.

I would have loved to go away for a while and come back to an organised house with only things I love or need in it, but there would be a very high risk of the declutterer getting things wrong. If I have to be there whilst someone stands over me and asks about every item, then I have to get bags to the tip or charity shop myself, then what would I be paying for?

Never used a declutterer however did know someone who was inspired by the tv shows because of her own love of tidiness and organisation. Who was going to change careers to set up and do this. Not sure how it panned out as this was 10+ years ago.

Never say never, is how I see it. Not yet, but who knows how able we will be in ten years? (I'm talking about the Dogs here, not in general.)

I'm waiting for the collection people to arrive, then I'm heading upstairs to start where I left off yesterday. I also like the three items a day idea, but it's too slow for me just now. I need a minimum of three binbags to go every day until the decorators have been, then I will continue by trying the three items a day routine. It will be a New Year resolution, I think, as when I get the house to myself again it will be nearly Christmas, and I'll be busy with that. It will be nice to be able to just enjoy living in a non-cluttered space (apart from the tree and Nativity ornaments ) for a while, then I will get back on task.

I never used to dawdle going upstairs, karmalady.

I don't dawdle now either but cannot run.

personally I would not have a bungalow, running up stairs is probably the only exercise I get on bad -weather days. I puposely don`t dawdle going up stairs

Anyway it is a bad- weather day today and I have made good de-cluttering progress this morning. I have managed to re-home everything that is leaving my kitchen andI could have a week off next week, knowing that I am on target wrt 3 a day. Nice happy feeling tbh

We've only had three houses since we got married - we've been in this one for 25 years. I think that has a lot to do with collecting clutter. Moving does make you go through your things, whether you are ruthless with them or not.

I would find the idea of moving very stressful, but maybe when I've got rid of a lot of things it will seem less so. I'm not looking to move for the foreseeable future, but a (rare) bungalow came up for sale near me recently, and it crossed my mind that in maybe ten years we might want to look at one like it. It would be good to get to the point where we could move relatively easily if we wanted to.

fancythat

Ali08

Fancythat
You've only ever moved house once? Was that when you got married and moved from your parents to your married life?
Wow! I'm truly gobsmacked, I don't think I know anyone, at all, that has only moved once!!

Yes, that is correct.

I know someone who has only moved once, one of my relatives, from her childhood home to her married home a couple of streets away.

Three of my siblings have never moved since they got married. I could not have done that personally, I think I have moved 8 times and 3 since the family home, 2006

I learnt from the family home move I now never keep anything in my loft. When downsizing the family home, the loft was the last straw

I am happy to report that I am still bumbling along with the de-cluttering, have just offered 8 new clip top kilner jars to my dds, if they don`t want them then it will be cs. They are new but just sitting in a cupboard now

My DH has never moved.
He is a bit fed up of the place!
He is not 90 though.