De-cluttering, the never-ending process

I know someone who never moved in her life. When she married she lived in with her mother in her childhood home, then stayed on after her mother died and lived there until she died herself. Nearly 90 years in the same place.

Ali08

Fancythat
You've only ever moved house once? Was that when you got married and moved from your parents to your married life?
Wow! I'm truly gobsmacked, I don't think I know anyone, at all, that has only moved once!!

Yes, that is correct.

We decluttered the house during lockdown but are still working on the garage, loft and shed😫We have boxes in the garage for donate, sell, bin or free cycle.I usually send photos to the children of anything we think they may want and this week DD2 has requested several items.Like others we are very aware of sending stuff to landfill so really try to find new homes for things.

It was a moment of joy this week when putting the cushions from the patio furniture away I was able to put them immediately in their winter home in a space created just for them during our lockdown de clutter!

The book fair held in our Borders town each year for charity, raised over £8000 this time. Unfortunately I hadn't got my act together and missed the donation days and the fair itself.

Fancythat
You've only ever moved house once? Was that when you got married and moved from your parents to your married life?
Wow! I'm truly gobsmacked, I don't think I know anyone, at all, that has only moved once!!

Too late - the bags go out tomorrow .

Doodledog We had a huge collection of DVDs too, as we both enjoy films. I learned how to rip them to a hard drive so we could watch them still but not have the physical DVDs. We've given over 500 so far to various charity shops (a lot of charity shops 😁). It was the only way I could get Mr A to get rid of them. It's actually really good because we can just cast it from a PC without getting up. Still got about 500 to go, but I'm getting there.

They are exasperating aren’t they . I have got the collection people coming tomorrow and have at least 6 bags of DVDs to go out. All of them mine. I have finally decided that anything we really want to see can be found on TV somewhere even if we have to pay to rent it. We both enjoy film and had an extensive collection. I say had - Mr D still does. He point blank refuses to let his go, so now all the DVDs in the house are his, they still clutter the place up, and if I want to see something that isn’t available, tough😡.

Mr A is my problem too when it comes to decluttering - I have culled many of my books and collections but just cannot get him to do the same. Partly I think because many are first editions that at one time would have been worth a lot of money, and he's finding it hard t get to grips with them being almost worthless now. We also have piles of his old games and toys, none in good condition. I keep suggesting chucking it all in an auction even if it makes nothing, at least it will be gone. In general I do what Doodledog does - start making noises about getting rid of something, ignore the sulks, give him time to think about it and adjust, then come back to it with a time. Works aout 50% of the time.

I actually acquired something through Freecycle which had been decluttered by a professional company.

She, the declutterer, said it was partly counselling. She charged a fee and discussed the situation with her client and then sold or gave away items. She had an unmarked van so snoopy neighbours couldn't see what was going on.
This would have been 20 years ago, long before the TV programmes.
Little did I know then that I might want her services myself. 😊

Like you Cabbie most of mine belonged to my late DH. Books in his case and records.

Doodledog,Idon't know anyone who has used a decluttering service but heard plenty say they need help, as it's too overwhelming.
I can recommend watching The Minimal Mom and/or Clutter bug on you tube. They have a go easy approach and can do methods . Fantastic tips for getting and staying on top.
Often watch an episode to get me in the 'sorting' mood

In the main it is not my stuff I want to get rid of! Yes, I could do with sorting some drawers, books and paperwork, but the main work is to disperse my late husband’s possessions. He was a collector, a DIY “expert”, into anything electrical and electronic, and a hoarder. I reckon he could not bear to have any empty space. House, loft, garage.

At least I have been able to get rid of enough furniture to get the bedroom redecorated, so that is a clear space, apart from a few bits of mine that need sorting. Sadly I think latterly he himself became overwhelmed with the enormity of the task, and finally too unwell to deal with it, so I have to. His son has been no help at all, even though he is a beneficiary and co- executor.
It is a long journey. I will miss my first targets of the end of October for some areas, but there is no rush, just for my peace of mind. I try to balance getting money for what is valuable with disposing of other things to anyone who will take them. Everything is of value to someone! ( Not so easy to pair up. ). Some will go to specialist auctions, a lot will go to a general auction where anything sells, even if it makes very little. As little as possible must go to landfill.

Has anyone used a decluttering company?

I can understand how they clear out Hoarder Next Door piles of newspapers and manky takeaway cartons, but in less horrific situations where there are just too many possessions in cupboards and on surfaces, rather than piles of things all over the floor or anything unsanitary how do they know what is a treasured item and what is junk?

There is a company near me who work with you to help you sort. They charge £220 a day (outside of London) but you have to get rid of the items yourself after they have been sorted. I can't see the point, really, as all the decisions about what to keep and what to chuck are ultimately yours - it seems to be basically paying for someone to sit with you and cheer you on. I may have got that wrong though, so would be interested to hear from anyone who has used a decluttering service.

Grammaretto, in your shoes, I would get a company in, a proper de-cluttering company, they are about. It is a huge task with 43 years worth in it. Count it in your essential moving costs

Grammaretto there are organisations that maybe be able to help. This one is based in Bristol, it will give you an idea of what might be available to you locally. Help the Aged or similar charities may have volunteers who could give you a hand. Anyone who has serious hoarding issues though should try and find specialist help because the volunteers will be experienced, non judgemental and supportive.


wecr.org.uk/help_advice/making-space-help-with-hoarding/

www.nugenwaste.co.uk/edinburgh-house-clearance?gclid=CjwKCAjw1t2pBhAFEiwA_-A-NLzkLJEWHhBiMY3AZdAO-h2r3zNb9t-Qz9E-w3z39kzp0dQh4mftohoCJuYQAvD_BwE

I had an estate agent to do a house valuation as I'm determined to downsize in the next year or so.

She was very polite about my house but ofcourse she mentioned decluttering along with some simple decorating. where the paint is peeling
It made me laugh after reading all the posts and glancing around my extremely overstuffed house of 43years.
I do know that there are companies who will declutter for you - at a price- and also house clearance companies who claim to be green

not A3, it is a large A4 book in a ring file

Back to my own progress. That 3 a day is going to be my aim now and this morning I have found 12, which includes yesterday. It means that I don`t need to go on another clutter-hunt until friday. Best of all I have found an A3 size sewing book that I forgot I had, I am going to enjoy reading it, learn some new things and then send it to a dil in Scotland

Nottoold, how about letting him know that there are hardly any new houses with double garages these days. I assume you would either like a new, easy care, house or an apartment. You need to be devious, ask him about what he would realistically like to downside to, bearing in mind that it costs 20k just to move and another 30k to make it into a really nice home

So suggest he puts masking tape on the garage floor, the size of a single garage, ie 8 x3m (mine is 9 x 3). He would need shelving plus room for any bikes etc. Give him that one job for now, some men get overwhelmed so easily and end up doing nothing. Then he could put his garage stuff into that space. When you go and see what he has done, ask him how he is going to move around in it, where his workbench will be etc

I had to do the garage myself as well as a large store room. Had to get rid of so much stuff. I think it took me from 2015 to 2019 and even then I was back and forth to recycling afterwards, thankfully the men there wanted a lot of what I took

I also suggest you do the rightmove, look at areas and at a very realistic budget ie minus that 50k

Do you want him to do it, or do you mind doing it for him?

It depends what he’s like, but with mine, if I start making noises about something needing to be done (he doesn’t like things being sprung on him, so I give him time to get used to the idea), then find some sort of deadline and say that I’ll have to make a start soon, he’d probably do it himself rather than risk me throwing away something important. He’s not great with ‘some time in the future’, so I gradually introduce a more fixed timescale. Whether that would work with yours depends on his personality though.

All this talk of decluttering I find extremely worrying because DH has always been a hoarder and finds it impossible to get rid of stuff, be it magazines, clothes, electrical bits and pieces, old papers, DVDs - you name it, he keeps it and on top of that he has a double garage full of more stuff not forgetting two sheds. What do I do? I've mostly decluttered my own stuff, although still more to do, but what can I do about his? We're supposed to be downsizing next year and at this rate we'll just never fit into a smaller place. Anyone got the same problem? Anyone got a solution?

karmalady

The people at recycling said that almost everyone who has `downsized` comes in with more stuff after moving, hardly anyone removes enough before the move

I do like the concept of 3 things a day, that is perfectly do-able for me. 200 items gone by 2024 would be good. I shall find 3 things today and start now. I can carry on with small chunks of de-cluttering, rather than giving up if I cannot find big amounts

I shall do the rounds of cupboards and drawers first, one by one

We have recently moved house. I have taken semi-retirement and was working until just before we moved. However, I managed to clear out a fair amount beforehand. My husband is a hoarder and sorted virtually nothing before we left, despite my exhortations. The result, of course, was that we brought far too much with us. In addition to this, we also had far too much of our adult children’s belongings even though they left home years ago. I exhausted myself in the first few weeks as I went through everything and made a nice home. I also got rid of piles of stuff, meaning that our local charity shops and the tip did very well. The house looks really nice now and I like a tidy home but I am aware that there are still boxes of stuff in the loft and storage area that will need to be sorted at some stage. I just can’t face it at the moment. They are out of view, thankfully, so I am going on the principle of out of sight, out of mind for the time being.

I’m continuing to declutter, but slowly. Just one drawer or a cupboard at a time. I’m getting there, and finding it very therapeutic. Still much to do, but as the Winter months approach 😞 there will be more time, as less gardening to do.

I know the feeling. . .