De-cluttering, the never-ending process

I have found a baby dress that belonged to my daughter (I am only keeping one item from each of my children’s babyhood), and it has milk stains on it. It was washed before being put away, but the stains have worked through.

Doodledog I would try a mix of hydrogen peroxide, a biological washing liquid and bicarb. Wet stain with cold water first. Mix approx 1 tbsp washing liquid, 1 tbsp HP then enough bicarb to create a paste. Rub paste into back of wet stain gently (I use a baby toothbrush). Leave for about an hour-ish then rinse and check if it's made any difference.

The biological washing liquid is to break down the milk proteins, but it may be too set now. Worth a try though. The bicarb and HP whiten.

I’d try a Vanish type rub on stain remover doodle. It can’t do any harm if as you say it’s grotty with the milk stain. Even a soak in the non biological type to preserve the colours.

Our god daughter approaches the world as you do, she also gets overwhelmed but always comes out the other side as I’m sure you will.

My decluttering mojo disappeared when the summer and Mr C’s surgery came. I’m beginning to feel I want to begin again. My mother in laws mantra of ‘one day when I feel like it’ works for me with clearing things, if I don’t feel like it I get grumpy and nothing is achieved.

We’re all different. The trick I think is to understand what works for the individual that we all are.

Good luck with clearing everyone. Just don’t be too hard on yourselves if you need a break from it.

I wonder if Vanish will work? I don't want to ruin it, but then it looks a bit grotty with the milk stain anyway.

In better news, at least half a dozen bags have gone to charity, and maybe three to the tip - some rubbish and some for rags. Also, my work deadline has been moved forward (for reasons nothing to do with me), so I can concentrate on getting the decluttering done without that cloud hanging over me. The Cluttergods are smiling on me today.

I am packing in for the night now, as I have a Zoom meeting after dinner, and instead of working afterwards as planned, I shall put the TV on and knit - I know how to live

I kept a beautiful romper suit that was my son's and he is now 47. I gave it to him along with other things that belonged to his granny and his great granny. He did want these items including a very battered home management book dated 1947.
He lives on the other side of the world and little things matter.

It is definitely worth a try, thanks. I think I need something biological too to break down the milk. My daughter is 30 now, so it’s had a long time to take hold.

Would Glowhite work Doodledog might be worth a try.

Oh, that’s a shame. It’s a lovely little dress, and I saved it to remember how little she was and in case she has a daughter of her own one day. I have a tiny babygro-style thing that my son wore, too.

If it were all white I would use peroxide but that might spoil the embroidery.

I am no good with stains myself.
When my kids got to teenage, things that ended up with stains, I turned into rags. I gave up trying to destain anything.

Having now reread RMs post, I dont think she meant it quite how it could be read.
She didnt mean it as a berate at all.

A quick question in my coffee break.

I have found a baby dress that belonged to my daughter (I am only keeping one item from each of my children’s babyhood), and it has milk stains on it. It was washed before being put away, but the stains have worked through. It is white cotton with coloured embroidery, so I can’t bleach it. Does anyone know how I can get the yellow stains out, please?

RosiesMaw

^Peole on this thread are doing what we can in the here and now to declutter and create space. Not everyone finds it easy so we are encouraging one another, not berating ourselves for having ‘acquired stuff’ in the first place^

I had no intention of berating anybody, merely pointing out that what might be described as”clutter” by some brings pleasure to others, memories of happy times or gifts from those dear to us.
Nor do I feel any conscious or unconscious guilt as might have been suggested by those who do not know me.

That’s not what you said though. You said that the best way to avoid the need to declutter is not to acquire’stuff’ in the first place, which is very different.

It is because some items have memories attached that many of us struggle to let them go, but we are trying to overcome that and hang onto the memories but not the clutter. It’s not as easy for some as for others.

Tell me about brewing stuff!! I managed to pass all my wine making gear to my dd and her husband, lots of it and that happened in 2019 before I moved. I saw it in a heap in their utility, several times and then it vanished

I have always told anyone that I pass stuff to, that they were not to tell me what has happened to it as it was always passed over by me, unconditionally. Two of the buckets were large enough for fermenting 25 litres of wine

I still wish someone would drop into my lap wanting to buy all my wood carving gear, there is a lot and all far too good to sell at whatever price

The decorator does indeed cause a lot of disruption. I went into automaton mode when my whole house interior was done over six months, however I did what you are doing doodledog and I cleared some good spaces

FT you are being utterly sensible

Peole on this thread are doing what we can in the here and now to declutter and create space. Not everyone finds it easy so we are encouraging one another, not berating ourselves for having ‘acquired stuff’ in the first place

I had no intention of berating anybody, merely pointing out that what might be described as”clutter” by some brings pleasure to others, memories of happy times or gifts from those dear to us.
Nor do I feel any conscious or unconscious guilt as might have been suggested by those who do not know me.

I have been decluttering for a few weeks now and found it very satisfying. I have been ruthless and keep going into our garage to admire my handy work.

Next job to tackle are my clothes and shoes!!

I know what you mean, ft. I am putting a lot of pressure on myself by doing it now, but it's the way my mind works, and to a large extent it's why I have managed to accumulate clutter. I probably have ADD, and tend to put things off until I get overwhelmed by them and it takes a real deadline to make me do them. At that point I am like a dervish, and usually manage to get it all done, but often at the expense of other things that build up in their turn. It's hard to explain, but it's not laziness (I never 'do nothing') but more a case of being 'frozen'. I'm only recently learning more about it, and it explains such a lot about my life - a bit late in the day, I know . I've always been really hard on myself, and grew up being constantly told how useless I was, but now that I'm starting to realise that I'm not alone in this, and am trying to develop strategies to deal with it, it's getting a bit easier to manage.

Anyway, I have a week before an immovable work deadline, the kitchen is being refitted in November, the decorator is coming next week to quote for doing the bedrooms I am decluttering, and this is the week I am doing all of it (and I am currently typing on here, of course!). I annoy myself, but it's really difficult to do things differently. I really hope that when it's all done it will be easier to keep on top of it all. We've lived here 25 years, and the 'clutter' has built up over that time, which, realistically we won't have time to let happen again . Also, when a cupboard or a room is already cluttered, it is much more tempting to add 'stuff' to it, as it makes less of a difference than messing up a tidy space would do. So, here's hoping that a more streamlined life will be easier to manage.

I personally will not be doing much more decluttering now until after Christmas.

Last year, mid November, I sorted out the bookcases.
Although the job needed doing, and it helped finish tidying up a spare bedroom, it nearly took my Christmas preparations off course.
So this year, I am going to bear that in mind.

The decluttering I have done over the last few months, has meant I have got a bit behind on a few other things, so I am largely going to put a halt on doing much more for the time being.
I do have some papers that I want keeping, that need to be filed. Hopefully doing that soon. Not sure yet what system I want to use for that.

Mr Dog has gone to the charity shop

With my tired morning eyes, I read that as my dog has gone to the charity shop.
Thought that was a bit extreme of you!

And even if people do, that is their choice.
Everyone is different. Everyone's life is different. Everyone's needs are different.

Isn’t it essential to not acquire “stuff” in the first place?

Dont you have stuff that was useful, and now is'nt?
I most certainly do.

Life changes. Times change. Technology changes. Who is in your household changes.

I most certainly did not buy or obtain stuff just for the fun of it. Well an occasional clothing item maybe.

Well. Work got in the way (I discovered I had things to do that I hadn't realised were there), so I didn't finish my cupboard today. Never mind, Mr Dog got rid of four large plastic barrels that he used to use for beer brewing with those home brew kits that were a 'thing' in the 80s. They took up a lot of space, so I'll let them count as progress.

It does seem to be taken out of your hands right now Cabbie. You have all that clearing to do plus you are grieving. The pace is too quick for you, taken out of your hands really. Your kind son and dgs, obviously well-meaning. They are good people and think it is for the best, hang onto that thought.

I have not managed to let go of my DH chest of drawers nor the bedside table, I think I have re-filled them with my stuff, so I have the reason not to let them go

Rachel, arewethereyet and doodledog, really good posts. Every small bit of clearing is an incentive to me, also to know that I am not the only one

Great work, AWTY. It's so good when you can see a use for the space you've created.

Mr Dog has gone to the charity shop with another three bags of clothes. I felt quite sad about some of the items, remembering when I was young and slim enough to wear them, and when I went to the sort of places where they wouldn't be out of place. Still, most of them are classic styles and someone will get a bargain.

I also filled three bags with stuff for the tip - mainly papers that I was 'keeping safe' for reasons unknown. There was a cheque book from a long-dead account, and a pile of essays from an MA I did back in the 90s. All gone. I also found some photos of my brother's wedding over 20 years ago, which was lovely, and I've kept those.

I'm still not finished, but I'm hoping that tomorrow I can get through the last wardrobe in that bedroom, which will mean I have loads of space to put the things that survive the clearout of the other ones .

Keep on keeping on, everyone - we'll get there.

I've just reorganised my wardrobe, putting away Summer stuff and getting warmer stuff out. Sent three jumpers to the charity shop after realising that although I like them I never wear them. In the process managed to clear one of the drawers in the chest of drawers beside the bed so stuffed it full of all the creams/make up/hair things that normally sit on top of it. For the first time ever I have space for my lamp, books, Kindle, glasses, phone and drink beside the bed and room to spare 😄. Now all I have to do is organise the drawer so I can actually find the creams/make up/hair things when I want them.

People on this thread are doing what we can in the here and now to declutter and create space. Not everyone finds it easy so we are encouraging one another, not berating ourselves for having ‘acquired stuff’ in the first place

Hear, hear! No guilt involved.

My son and grandson have been here to put stuff back into my newly redecorated bedroom, for which I am very grateful. What’s more, they refused to let me have everything back!
So now I am forced to do more sorting, as well as remaking up the bed and settling back in.
In particular, they have removed DH’s chest of drawers, which I had started to fill with my clothes, so they will have to go back into my chest of drawers now. One drawer had memorabilia relating who DH who died just five months ago, which will need to be properly stored somewhere. Another had two of his pure wool jumpers, which really need to go to a charity shop. Then his hankies! Really they were being cruel to be kind and I admit I needed a push. I even agreed to dump some things of mine which have survived many house moves.
My son also refused to put back a small filing cabinet which contains photo albums and other memorabilia, so I need to absorb those elsewhere.

So now I have plenty to keep me busy. I have been very lethargic this past week, and sat around doing not a lot, so I know I needed a push to get started again. It is not easy. Nobody else is going to help me. I know that my family have helped in the best way they can.