De-cluttering, the never-ending process

Warm winter coats are welcome at the Care4Calais charity in the Reading, Henley area

When we moved in 2013 we carried out the promise we made each other when we had had to clear my parents¨ house after my father's death in 2009.

It was brutally straightforward: only to keep things that were in use, or had great sentimental value, or that we realistically foresaw a need for in the IMMEDIATE future.

The few years that passed after burning 25 years of Inland revenue forms, receipts, old Christmas cards received from friends and equally old ones that had never been used, plus a dress suit from before the second World War, a St Andrew's University undergraduate's gown etc. etc. etc. made us relatively hard-hearted when it came to our own stuff.

Since we moved, I destroy the four year old receipts and tax papers at new year, when the financial year ends here, and I put the new lot away.

We have stopped buying "stuff" because it would be nice to have, limit ourselves to one new Christmas bauble or Easter decoration a year and only keep books we know we will re-read.

I have also gone through old photograph albums, passed those from my father's side of the family on to my cousins on that side who have children who are interested in old photos of relations they never knew. Photos from my mother's family have been culled, as no-one will want them after I am gone.

I regularly estimate how many old jam jars I need, as it took three or four trips to the nearest bottle bank to dispose of those my mother had kept for years after she stopped jam-making, and heresy of all heresies in my family THROW THE REST OUT (recycle them).

Like everything else, starting is hard, especially if you do it immediately after a bereavement, but the process does become easier once you get used to seriously considering what you need or really want to keep.

Sar53 l know how you feel, same either my DH l begged him to sort out the garage before we moved to a bungalow, l said you sit on a chair and I'll sort stuff out, but to no avail, it all moved with us, now he's gone l have it all to sort out, I'm waiting for a lovely sunny weekend so it doesn't feel so much of a chore

When my mum had to start sorting her home out after my stepfather's mostly unexpected death, I used to tell her just to see sorting out his office as a series of small steps, and not to look at the office as one huge project.
It worked - she tackled one shelf at a time and it didn't overwhelm her doing it like thst.

Being obsessed with history I find it difficult to throw away things like eg old pay slips that show how little we lived on in our youth. I know I should go through things like that and make a little folder of one of each thing but even that seems like a mammoth task.

We have a plethera of unopened DVD's. just been saying to hubby,we ought to get rid of them.
This weekend my intention is to declutter kitchen items. Things such as rolling pins,why have i got 3 when i always use the same one.

If I seriously have to declutter, the first thing out would be chief clutterer, DH, who has piles of magazines her thinks he will have time to read, piles of papers mostly on the floors. If I put a letter down, he will decide that is a good place for another pile, so the letter disappears (nothing to do with him)!

We are going through a huge declutter, gradually condensing our belongs and those of my late parents. I am probably about 85% of the way through. It has taken two years. The thing I have noticed in the last three months or so is the extent to which it has changed my spending habits. I only buy things we actually really need and tend to work on, ‘one thing in, one thing out’. It has been transformational

There is such a lot of psychology involved on most posts and some posts are very sad. What I am admiring is the sheer willingness to get out of that stuck position, I know it is very hard. mentally and physically but the determination to move forward is very heart warming and personally, I feel a lot of support from kindred spirits

Re ebay, I used to be an ebay trader ie buying and selling, just prior to the millenium. It was good and I made enough money but my dining room was filled with packaging and there was the sheer hassle of getting everything packed and posted. I am not going that route, not ever again.

I did some clearing this morning, I always stop by lunchtime. Today I combined it with that spring cleaning of just one shelf in a kitchen cupboard and consequently with a bit in the garage. Some more is binned, rolser trolley number two is in the hall waiting to be filled for the cs, that one has a bit of fraying but is perfectly good. I decided to keep rolser trolley number 1 as it is so sturdy, the old rare cow print. Rolser 3 is folded quite small on a shelf and is good for the car

I have thrown stuff out, saved stuff for cs and ended up with more empty space and two more empty really useful boxes

At lunchtime, I had that lightbulb moment, sitting in my living room which is 20 x 11 feet with a chimney breast. Imagining me in a 12 x 11 and working out what I could take and what I would re-home with AC. It was a re-assuring moment, very do-able in the future, if needed.

Mamma same here re spending habits. I have completely changed my ways and no longer need the endorphins

Nan231

We have a plethera of unopened DVD's. just been saying to hubby,we ought to get rid of them.
This weekend my intention is to declutter kitchen items. Things such as rolling pins,why have i got 3 when i always use the same one.

Ever since I had the facility to record things on videos or then buy dvd’s I’ve had this problem that I then feel that they are then some sort of extension of my brain or memory and I don’t get round to watching them. Then, if a film I have on dvd is on tv I make a point of watching it on tv. I do have some amazing things that I’ve video’d over the years that don’t seem to be on utube that I’d like to put on the internet myself but I’m not sure about copyright.

re cds and dvds. I did buy a small dvd.cd player, still in its box. It will link to my laptop via usb, future proofing

MayBee70

Being obsessed with history I find it difficult to throw away things like eg old pay slips that show how little we lived on in our youth. I know I should go through things like that and make a little folder of one of each thing but even that seems like a mammoth task.

I have 3 sections left after 4 years decluttering at my own pace.
Paperwork, sentimentals, and loft.

I dont have that much sentimental stuff. So hopefully that wont take very long.

I have had a few goes at the loft over the years.

It is paperwork that is the biggest job left.

What could I do with old videos still got old video recorder/player don't know how it works?

If selling on EBay or any other site, how definite is it that you receive payment? Have seen comments where either no money is received, or, in some cases, the buyer diesn't get the goods.

I've had over twenty different addresses in my life, including UK, Germany, Philippines, Egypt and China.... Where I am now, Caversham, Reading I love, and I have no desire to move again...

Since my DH passed away last year I've started thinking about decluttering especially in case I decide to move as the house is large and the garden huge and will soon be too much for me to manage. Can't bear the thought of losing any personal items, clothes etc yet but have been looking at all the stuff in the garage. I just don't know what a lot of it is and whether it might prove useful or not, bits of plumbing and electrical equipment and all sorts. Don't want to leave it all for family to have to sort at a later stage but no idea where to start.

My husband has been diagnosed with Myeloma which, although non curable, is treatable. It has made us start to de-clutter but one of the hardest things to go is crystal glasses and a Wedgewood dinner and tea service which were wedding presents over 50 years ago. I often see dinner and tea sets in charity shop windows and think they were 'best' like ours and although we could probably use them I don't think they would survive long in the dishwasher. Family, like most, don't want them but they don't mind still storing some of their clutter in our house which they haven't 'got room' for in their own!

It's a never ending job. I'm 13 years in and still can barely move. Trouble is, I lost mum 18 months ago and there were some of her things that I just couldn't get rid of straight away. Also as an on-off hobbyist, I have so much 'stuff' that's perfectly OK and I promise I will get to use it just as soon as I can move into a larger house, or at least one with proper storage areas. On the odd occasion I have a fit of temper and throw something out, I immediately regret it.

This thread could have been started with me in mind. I have done so much decluttering over the years as my husband is a hoarder. I generally manage to control the hoard by confining it to a couple of rooms out of sight of visitors plus the loft and shed are full to bursting. In the lockdowns of 2020, he was working at the test centres. I took advantage of this by hiring skips and get rid of masses of things. I was shredding papers and sorting out clothes he had not worn for years for the charity shops when they reopened. I was teaching music lessons on zoom too. Exhausting.

Fast forward to now and we are moving house soon. I am in a state of burnout because of working too hard and being a member of the sandwich generation. I am going to semi retire in July. My husband retired last year. There is so much to sort out and get rid of but I cannot physically do it at the moment. My husband is more interested in buying things for the new house than sorting out what he needs to sort out. He will have to do it, though. He is a lovely man in most other ways but I don’t like the hoarding. He seems to not see the problem in the same way.

I have candles, lots of candles and am burning some now, instead of using my stove. Every little helps. It will help with the heat and will help me eventually clear two more really useful boxes

I will only forge ahead as long as I keep using what I already have. My mother used to save string and I was a post war child, I remember queuing for staples, rationing was still on. My sisters and I are similar, ingrained storage of essentials but I am fighting against that intinct now.

granma47

My husband has been diagnosed with Myeloma which, although non curable, is treatable. It has made us start to de-clutter but one of the hardest things to go is crystal glasses and a Wedgewood dinner and tea service which were wedding presents over 50 years ago. I often see dinner and tea sets in charity shop windows and think they were 'best' like ours and although we could probably use them I don't think they would survive long in the dishwasher. Family, like most, don't want them but they don't mind still storing some of their clutter in our house which they haven't 'got room' for in their own!

This sounds so like us we moved 12 years ago and had a real declutter or I DID. Now 12 years on we are at it again,I don't find it too hard but DH does. Things are looked at and then go back. I had my mother's house to clean out, and DH passed the job to BIL after doing all the paperwork.
Things started to appear from one DD our loft was big, wedding dress in a box like a coffin, out of season children's clothes, and books that we were asked to keep when we moved and have never been collected.
DD2 did take the sewing machine last time and today I found the material I had got for cushion covers no machine now to make them.
Do we use the silver dinner service and china dinner set or do we pass them on and buy modern which I really prefer?
One thing I am glad I kept is a set of plastic child cups etc and knives and forks we keep getting new additions.

I've been using my DM's wedding china dinner set as 'everyday' dishes for the last couple of years. I have only chipped and binned one item so far, others are in daily use. They are really lovely and brighten my mood at mealtimes.

When I was downsizing after DH's Death, almost all (I kept a small set for myself) of a big shed full of my DH's tools and wood off cuts (he was a carpenter/joiner) were collected and are now in use by the Local Men's Shed. They made me a wonderful Scotty Dog planter as a thank you.
DH's best clothes were donated to the Care Home except for his kilts and accessories -now proudly worn by DGS. and finally, a quantity of antique and period items of little individual market value went to the Prop Store in Glasgow, who were delighted with among other things, my old original Apple Computer, a 1920's typewriter and an early HMV record player. They paid a reasonable (think Car boot Sale) price for the items and I have the added benefit of watching Scottish based productions, in hopes of seeing some of the items appear as set dressing in period dramas, etc.

I've lived in this house 52 years, so lots of clutter. Remarried 25 years ago so more stuff arrived with new husband. Then a few years back we both lost our parents so inherited even more clutter! So every shelf/cupboard/wardrobe is full along with a double garage. I don't know where to start. We are both from the 'it may come in useful one day' generation. Wish I had a magic wand!

I have moved 19 times as an adult, including living abroad several times. However those moves were with a company so there was help and big organised removal people.Then there were other moves with just family or only my husband and I. My last move was very hard, to a flat as a widow, with no one able to help due to covid etc. Practically I knew it was the best thing, but emotionally it was very difficult. Added to leaving the home I had shared with my husband, I had to give up my precious garden, my piano and with a bad back was not able to do a great deal for some time when I got moved in. I tried to begin sorting out but found that just the everyday living was taking all my effort and just shut the door on quite a lot of things that do need sorting. However , while family or friends would help, most of it needs my decision as to what to get rid of and what to keep. So it has been quite hard to do, but I have just carried on with every day things and tried not to feel too bad about the unsorted things. Now I am feeling a bit more able to make decisions and so have sorted out a couple of boxes worth of stuff, recycled stuff, given to charity shop and taken a small amount to the tip. So hopefully am now into a better cycle as I can look back at some success with the last box. This morning I had planned to attack another box, but the forecast gave a sunny morning going on to rain in the afternoon and probably rain and cold for tomorrow. So ignored the box, went out to an rspb site and had the pleasure of seeing a little egret and avocets. Such a pleasure and I have no come home and yep it has just started raining!! So am now about to get a coffee and tackle that box!! More daylight and getting out a bit brightens my mood and then I can have a go at the next job. I dont need or want anyone else telling me to do it, it has got to come from me, but feel I just had to stay on a sort of plateau , having coped with the actual move, but wasnt up to doing anything more until now.I think it takes both mental and physical energy to do this kind of work so we need to work to our own timetable and just be glad when another bit is done. Good luck with whatever you feel ready to do Oh by the way in the past , I have deliberately kept several boxes before I gave them away to other movers etc. It is cheering to look and see 4 empty boxes rather than one at a time. You can actually see where you have been .