De-cluttering, the never-ending process

Sara1954

Calendargirl
Haha, point taken
But in my heart, I don’t feel like a hoarder, I love getting rid of stuff, so that I can go out and replace it with more stuff, nicer stuff.
Thinking if my children having to sort it out isn’t too daunting, and from wherever I am, I won’t take offence if most of it goes in the skip.

Too right re replacing with nicer stuff. That is sometimes me, better quality and modular or fewer, always now with an eye to the future, so I don`t go overboard. It helps not needing the shopping endorphins, being on a buying fast since december has helped and I have weaned myself away

Ploughing through today, no fixed objective, just using some of my wholefoods, dried stuff, was neatly stored, just too much of it. Upside is having my old cranks recipe book out and by my side, doesn`t half bring back memories

No Marie Kondo these days, my underwear drawers were done 4 years ago and are easy to keep pristine. Same for other clothing in drawers. MK is a good start when you don`t know where to start

I agree Maw that our childrens’ generation are more pragmatic about getting rid of stuff, not so emotionally attached.

Is that because a) they are just younger, not so sentimental as some of us are as we get older, or b) they really don’t see the need to hang onto things that ‘might come in useful’, and don’t mind buying new items if needed.

I was looking through an old file that my DD left behind, she has lived overseas for more than 20 years, it contained job references, her old medical card, stuff like that. She has no need of them, neither have I, but it gives me a pang to out them.

🥺

Deciding what to keep and what to get rid of?
That is the ‘big deal’ ‘

But it need not be psychologically draining
If you can afford it, why is there any guilt attached ?
It has to be an age thing.
My daughters’ generation seem much more pragmatic about getting rid of things they no longer want or need (free cycle, eBay, baby banks, charity shops) without emotional hang ups.
And if your possessions because they are what makes a home - be they books, pictures, China, glass, photographs, garden plants or whatever bring you pleasure - there is nothing wrong with that.

Karmalady,

Decluttering ,even the word strikes a chord . We have moved twice in 2 years ( caused by house floods which required refurbishment -so 2 enforced moves of 9. months each ) this gave us opportunity to sort through our amassed boxes . We rented a storage unit on both occasions & downgraded to a smaller one once we moved back the first time. I had a friend totally unbiased to help with the organising of throw ,keep Charity Shop. it was both therapeutic & enjoyable .
Once we moved back we decided to sell the house & continued the declutter with the shed /sheds my DH has filled the garden with a whole host of them . I on the other hand took the one that had been here the longest & emptied it of all those paint cans & bits of rubbish that accumulate . Although we sold the house we decided not to proceed with the sale . So we are still here though I have not filled up the shed or the cupboard under the stairs again ,I still have a Summer House which is like home form home with any number of items that could go to another place lol-Happy declutterimg x

It wont be minimalist though MawtheMerrier!

I am not a person of extremes in anything. I am a middle of the road type person in most things.

I am actually enjoying the process.
It has taken far longer than I thought. I would rather it had taken less time to do.

But now I can see light at the end of the process.

It also means, now when people come, there is not so much stuff about. Which I and they like.

MawtheMerrier

At the risk of sounding cynical this looks set to be
Decluttering -the never-ending thread

We want stuff, buy stuff, inherit stuff, get given stuff, give stuff away, get rid of stuff.
What is the big deal?

Deciding what to keep and what to get rid of?

That is the ‘big deal’.

MawtheMerrier

At the risk of sounding cynical this looks set to be
Decluttering -the never-ending thread

We want stuff, buy stuff, inherit stuff, get given stuff, give stuff away, get rid of stuff.
What is the big deal?

Well for me, and I cant speak about others, I am at the stage of having an increasing number of grandchildren. Who come and stay.
They are moving from cots[nice and small and can be in parents' rooms] into a number of single beds.

I need the bedrooms especially, to be more clutter free.

Plus, as others have hinted at, it feels better for some of us to live with less clutter.

It’s an odd feeling when you realise you never need to buy another glass, mug, tea towel, etc, because you have enough to last if you live to be 100
You spend years accumulating, then start to get rid of it all

A good point, but when did “need” rule our choices?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying something because you like it is there?
If what you are replacing is still in good nick giving it away via a charity shop does two lots of favours- the charity benefiting and the purchaser who is getting a bargain. Or give it away for free.
Or, as I have done to the tune of over £1000 in the last year with good quality clothes , some unworn or hardly worn, - sell it on eBay.
I think we have been brainwashed by the likes of Marie Kondo and the death-cleaners to see virtue only in shedding our possessions. What is the virtue of “It’ll see me out”?
Will it end in us sitting in a minimalist or bare room waiting to die?

Humbertbear, oh how I can empathise with this ,I too have thousands of Photos both in books & loose ( that is not including the amassed thousands sitting in the cloud ! )
I have been 'sorting "them also , into collections to give to my siblings (8 siblings make a lot of photos lol ) then like you binning the pretty photos of scenery ,gates & doors or whatever took my fancy on all those holidays . oh & let's not forget My years of working in a nightclub & single years ! Lots of random photos ,people I've met ,relationships i've had -all of which would have no meaning to anyone other than me .
So, yes I have started this process & it has been ongoing for a few years now but is no way near finished as I get side tracked into the abyss & then start an online album or one of those photo books that I seem to love getting printed ..

Calendargirl
Haha, point taken
But in my heart, I don’t feel like a hoarder, I love getting rid of stuff, so that I can go out and replace it with more stuff, nicer stuff.
Thinking if my children having to sort it out isn’t too daunting, and from wherever I am, I won’t take offence if most of it goes in the skip.

At the risk of sounding cynical this looks set to be
Decluttering -the never-ending thread

We want stuff, buy stuff, inherit stuff, get given stuff, give stuff away, get rid of stuff.
What is the big deal?

Pce612, I am sorry no one has answered your questions, perhaps like me they don’t know. I wonder if it might be advisable talking to someone from Age Concern or similar. A good solicitor specialising in wills and probate would be my first port of call. I feel for you being estranged from your only daughter, like me, luckily I have family, realise the older I get how alone I am:though really, no matter whom we have it’s down to us as they have their own lives.
Trying to pluck up confidence to move from my demanding house myself.

Karmalady

Thanks for this thread, I was getting bogged down and it’s got me going again. Now I must stop reading this thread and do some clearing!

I don’t really hoard stuff

But you have ‘trunks full of photos, thousands of books, and tons of stuff left behind from when the GC were living here’.

To me, that isn’t ‘hoarding’, but like most of us- just with ‘stuff’ from the past that we feel need sorting and deciding what to do with.

I think so many of us are in a similar situation.

I don’t really hoard stuff, and I always feel good after a good clear out.
But I do have trunks full of photos, thousands of books, although I have taken quite a lot to the charity shop recently, I also have tons of stuff left behind from when my grandchildren were living here.
It’s an odd feeling when you realise you never need to buy another glass, mug, tea towel, etc, because you have enough to last if you live to be 100
You spend years accumulating, then start to get rid of it all.

I made buns yesterday, I only made them because I had delved into my baking cupboard and it is a yummy way of de-cluttering that area, albeit slowly

There is a hard backed book that I unearthed, bought it three years ago. Some of my books will be read first, would never read again and they will go. So far so good. Slowly slowly

I am liking that someone mentioned spring cleaning, at my stage of de-cluttering it is how I am treating the small areas that I am tackling now. Two birds with one stone and not going in to de-clutter but fully aware of de-cluttering as I go and I am find items that way

My big kmix sounded very iffy when I was kneading bun dough yesterday, my heart was in my mouth. If it does expire than I am going to have to be very strong to avoid buying another, or similar but what a waste that would be at my age and alone. That decision would mean another big change for me and yet another psychological adaptation to circumstance change

Like Kumberbear I went through old photos and I removed the ones of places that we had visited and saved just the ones of people. I still need to organize the ones of people by timeframe and label them. I sort of regret throwing out all of the photos of places. I am a member of a couple of vintage photo groups on Facebook and it is amazing to look at old photos of famous places in a city and see how they have changed over the years. Oh well! I can't keep everything!

Sold a caravan last year that was kitted out with everything for the kitchen, sewing stuff, first aid, cleaning materials, mops bucket brushes etc etc. So now have house full of double of everything. Recently donated some things including the kettle. Guss what, mine broke a week later.
It's difficult to declutter large dishes dozens of plates etc as there are only 2 of us here. But family come to stay en mass usually 5 or 6 at a time including DGC as we live on the coast.

pinkcosmos. I scanned photos and was also able to write in books that I created via blurb. They are lovely, I have 4, including one that my husband made from his photos when he was winning prizes. I also have his family, my family, our family. I bought all of them for my three AC and they now have family history at a glance. My siblings each bought the book appropriate to my family, our parents from their childhood and courting days, grandparents, us siblings as children etc

www.blurb.co.uk/

I have three large plastic boxes of family photos including my grandmother's and mother's old photos. If I went through them I could probably get rid of half of them especially the ones of views. There are some really interesting photos of people from the early 20th century in the boxes. I don't know who they are. Some distant relative no doubt. I am loathe to throw these in the bin but don't know what else I can do with them.

I am considering doing photo books, where you scan your old photos and you can have them made into proper books. Need to do more research on how to do this though.

I also struggle with books. I have four full bookshelves of books. It is very rare that I re-read a book unless it is non-fiction so I don't know why I keep them all. I just like looking at them on the shelves. I am trying to get rid of some of the older ones but do like to keep books by the same authors so that I have the full set of their work.

I generally give clothes and small stuff to our local hospice, though they did get quite picky during Covid when everyone seemed to be decluttering.

Our local BHF will collect items of furniture, including sofas etc if they have a fire label

I have also sold or given stuff away on Facebook Marketplace.

I am never sure how long I need to keep official paperwork though.

Calendargirl

^I lie awake worrying about the clutter I will be leaving for my children to deal with^

This is something we all seem to realise nowadays. I’m sure it wasn’t an issue years ago. Probably our GP’s had less ‘stuff’, and family/friends were keener to accept furniture, clothing, bric a brac etc.

‘Keepsakes’.

But we all have much more definite ideas about what we want in our homes now.

Indeed.

We know our daughters don't want our clutter, brown furniture, bric a brac, stuff forced on us by parents and grandparents.

They know what they want, stand firm. Clear out will happen, here.

Some things are easier than others to rehome aren't they? The thought of who has given them to us or even the money that we wasted on 'things meant to improve our lives'. One lesson learned though, I now use my nicest items instead of keeping for best!

Buffy

I lie awake worrying about the clutter I will be leaving for my children to deal with. I have de-cluttered for two family members and know how exhausting it can be and yet a lot of my excess possessions seem to give me security and discarding them is hard. Maybe not having much as a child has made me a hoarder.

Oh I wouldnt do that Buffy.

Over the years I have come to realise that different people see things differently.
We cant second guess how someone else will see things and deal with things.

Thank you cornergran, so very reassuring and I am glad you had that talk

I never wate my mornings so have done a bit more `spring` cleaning`. My new build had a fitted fridge freezer, the cheapest frosted type with 3 tiny freezer drawers. I have never switched it on but I use it for a lot of small stuff as I can reach to the back of each shelf. Spices, herbs, baking ingredients etc In fact it is incredibly useful. Nothing to be disposed of in there but it is now wiped and tidied and I have taken a couple of items out, to have in plain sight and to use

Me too cornergran, I have to admit that I am enjoying the process too. It is not that initial frenzy, there is no pressure on me as there was for moving.