De-cluttering, the never-ending process

Karmalady

Thanks for this thread, I was getting bogged down and it’s got me going again. Now I must stop reading this thread and do some clearing!

Pce612, I am sorry no one has answered your questions, perhaps like me they don’t know. I wonder if it might be advisable talking to someone from Age Concern or similar. A good solicitor specialising in wills and probate would be my first port of call. I feel for you being estranged from your only daughter, like me, luckily I have family, realise the older I get how alone I am:though really, no matter whom we have it’s down to us as they have their own lives.
Trying to pluck up confidence to move from my demanding house myself.

At the risk of sounding cynical this looks set to be
Decluttering -the never-ending thread

We want stuff, buy stuff, inherit stuff, get given stuff, give stuff away, get rid of stuff.
What is the big deal?

Calendargirl
Haha, point taken
But in my heart, I don’t feel like a hoarder, I love getting rid of stuff, so that I can go out and replace it with more stuff, nicer stuff.
Thinking if my children having to sort it out isn’t too daunting, and from wherever I am, I won’t take offence if most of it goes in the skip.

Humbertbear, oh how I can empathise with this ,I too have thousands of Photos both in books & loose ( that is not including the amassed thousands sitting in the cloud ! )
I have been 'sorting "them also , into collections to give to my siblings (8 siblings make a lot of photos lol ) then like you binning the pretty photos of scenery ,gates & doors or whatever took my fancy on all those holidays . oh & let's not forget My years of working in a nightclub & single years ! Lots of random photos ,people I've met ,relationships i've had -all of which would have no meaning to anyone other than me .
So, yes I have started this process & it has been ongoing for a few years now but is no way near finished as I get side tracked into the abyss & then start an online album or one of those photo books that I seem to love getting printed ..

It’s an odd feeling when you realise you never need to buy another glass, mug, tea towel, etc, because you have enough to last if you live to be 100
You spend years accumulating, then start to get rid of it all

A good point, but when did “need” rule our choices?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying something because you like it is there?
If what you are replacing is still in good nick giving it away via a charity shop does two lots of favours- the charity benefiting and the purchaser who is getting a bargain. Or give it away for free.
Or, as I have done to the tune of over £1000 in the last year with good quality clothes , some unworn or hardly worn, - sell it on eBay.
I think we have been brainwashed by the likes of Marie Kondo and the death-cleaners to see virtue only in shedding our possessions. What is the virtue of “It’ll see me out”?
Will it end in us sitting in a minimalist or bare room waiting to die?

MawtheMerrier

At the risk of sounding cynical this looks set to be
Decluttering -the never-ending thread

We want stuff, buy stuff, inherit stuff, get given stuff, give stuff away, get rid of stuff.
What is the big deal?

Well for me, and I cant speak about others, I am at the stage of having an increasing number of grandchildren. Who come and stay.
They are moving from cots[nice and small and can be in parents' rooms] into a number of single beds.

I need the bedrooms especially, to be more clutter free.

Plus, as others have hinted at, it feels better for some of us to live with less clutter.

MawtheMerrier

At the risk of sounding cynical this looks set to be
Decluttering -the never-ending thread

We want stuff, buy stuff, inherit stuff, get given stuff, give stuff away, get rid of stuff.
What is the big deal?

Deciding what to keep and what to get rid of?

That is the ‘big deal’.

I am actually enjoying the process.
It has taken far longer than I thought. I would rather it had taken less time to do.

But now I can see light at the end of the process.

It also means, now when people come, there is not so much stuff about. Which I and they like.

It wont be minimalist though MawtheMerrier!

I am not a person of extremes in anything. I am a middle of the road type person in most things.

Karmalady,

Decluttering ,even the word strikes a chord . We have moved twice in 2 years ( caused by house floods which required refurbishment -so 2 enforced moves of 9. months each ) this gave us opportunity to sort through our amassed boxes . We rented a storage unit on both occasions & downgraded to a smaller one once we moved back the first time. I had a friend totally unbiased to help with the organising of throw ,keep Charity Shop. it was both therapeutic & enjoyable .
Once we moved back we decided to sell the house & continued the declutter with the shed /sheds my DH has filled the garden with a whole host of them . I on the other hand took the one that had been here the longest & emptied it of all those paint cans & bits of rubbish that accumulate . Although we sold the house we decided not to proceed with the sale . So we are still here though I have not filled up the shed or the cupboard under the stairs again ,I still have a Summer House which is like home form home with any number of items that could go to another place lol-Happy declutterimg x

Deciding what to keep and what to get rid of?
That is the ‘big deal’ ‘

But it need not be psychologically draining
If you can afford it, why is there any guilt attached ?
It has to be an age thing.
My daughters’ generation seem much more pragmatic about getting rid of things they no longer want or need (free cycle, eBay, baby banks, charity shops) without emotional hang ups.
And if your possessions because they are what makes a home - be they books, pictures, China, glass, photographs, garden plants or whatever bring you pleasure - there is nothing wrong with that.

I agree Maw that our childrens’ generation are more pragmatic about getting rid of stuff, not so emotionally attached.

Is that because a) they are just younger, not so sentimental as some of us are as we get older, or b) they really don’t see the need to hang onto things that ‘might come in useful’, and don’t mind buying new items if needed.

I was looking through an old file that my DD left behind, she has lived overseas for more than 20 years, it contained job references, her old medical card, stuff like that. She has no need of them, neither have I, but it gives me a pang to out them.

🥺

Sara1954

Calendargirl
Haha, point taken
But in my heart, I don’t feel like a hoarder, I love getting rid of stuff, so that I can go out and replace it with more stuff, nicer stuff.
Thinking if my children having to sort it out isn’t too daunting, and from wherever I am, I won’t take offence if most of it goes in the skip.

Too right re replacing with nicer stuff. That is sometimes me, better quality and modular or fewer, always now with an eye to the future, so I don`t go overboard. It helps not needing the shopping endorphins, being on a buying fast since december has helped and I have weaned myself away

Ploughing through today, no fixed objective, just using some of my wholefoods, dried stuff, was neatly stored, just too much of it. Upside is having my old cranks recipe book out and by my side, doesn`t half bring back memories

No Marie Kondo these days, my underwear drawers were done 4 years ago and are easy to keep pristine. Same for other clothing in drawers. MK is a good start when you don`t know where to start

I've been decluttering since January 1st and I'm truly appalled at the accumulation of stuff .

I thought that I could whizz through it in maybe a week .

Yesterday , I sorted through mountains of dress patterns .

Everytime I open another bag or box I get a wave of despair .
I also feel guilty -how could I let things slide ?

Today , I plan another couple of hours sorting .

I'll get there eventually !

I promise myself some chocolate and a film if I get through it !

We scanned all our photos and put them on a USB stick so we can display them in a digital photo frame. We had boxes and boxes of them stored in a spare bedroom, which have bow all gone. Now we have the photo frame on all the time - it changes photo every minute and although we ignore it most of the time every now and again we notice a photo and it sparks off a discussion, especially with visitors. It also means all our photos are safe and labelled.

Good luck, folks…. I am quite good at decluttering, but my weak spot is newspaper/magazine articles (strangely)… ones with tips on health, travel, you name it… ridiculous really!
If anyone has any tips on how to be more ruthless with bits of paper, please feel free to tell me…

The things I know I have a ridiculous quantity of are
Scarves, I really don’t know how many I have, but it’s a very large amount
Tea towels, I can’t resist them, and it’s not like I do a lot of drying up.
Mugs, now only two of us, so we could probably have a different one every day for a month.
Candles, power cuts hold no fear for me, I’ve got them in every shape, colour, scent imaginable.
Books, I do take a bag to the charity shop sometimes, but I soon replace them.
That’s about it I think, everything else in moderation.

Woollywoman

Good luck, folks…. I am quite good at decluttering, but my weak spot is newspaper/magazine articles (strangely)… ones with tips on health, travel, you name it… ridiculous really!
If anyone has any tips on how to be more ruthless with bits of paper, please feel free to tell me…

I will let you know if I manage to work it out myself!

I did decide that most articles pre 2018 are not worth keeping.
Like everything else, things age.

Woollywoman

Good luck, folks…. I am quite good at decluttering, but my weak spot is newspaper/magazine articles (strangely)… ones with tips on health, travel, you name it… ridiculous really!
If anyone has any tips on how to be more ruthless with bits of paper, please feel free to tell me…

One of the best things we ever did was switching to reading the news online because during the pandemic we didn’t want to risk going to the newsagents. It took a while to get used to it but it has stopped me hoarding loads more newspaper articles. I just had to always cut out and save anything I found interesting. I do still love finding old newspaper articles, though. I had a local paper that I’d saved for some reason and, reading through it ( I love all the old adverts etc) there was an article about my partners father who I didn’t know back then.

One newspaper used to do a 24 hours in various holiday destinations. I always used to keep them because I always hoped I’d travel to them one day. Very little chance if that now though. Still can’t bring myself to put them in recycling, though.

Have you thought about photographing the articles you want to keep and storing them in a folder on your laptop? I do it for articles about places I want to go, and gardening stuff - it’s easier to find than articles, which I tend to forget that I’ve kept.

My problem isn't with clearing anything out but persuading DH that we don't need "stuff" - "we'll keep those JUST IN CASE!"

I have a box full of pages and pages from magazines about wood carving, at least the magazine bulk went a year ago when I dd that major job of tearing out. Oh dear, I have such a dilemma about my wood carving tools and equipment. I took it on after my husband died, started going to the wood carving group, loved it and that pesky lockdown finished the group off. It shut down in that big place and eventually retreated locally to some and that is too far to travel

I bought loads of tools and equipment and now it is languishing, most in the garage and all the gauges are safe neatly in big pizza carriers, under a bed. These are items I would definitely not give away but I would sell them, the alternative is that I leave them to AC to sell when I pass

I know I said I would not go back to selling on ebay but one of these days, in the right frame of mind, I may list just one gauge. They are top quality, swiss, all of them. Then I can slowly gather a following before I list my most valuable carving items.

camlyn

My problem isn't with clearing anything out but persuading DH that we don't need "stuff" - "we'll keep those JUST IN CASE!"

I understand dh dilemma, sometimes you need just one old item to repair another old item and you cannot get these things today. Everything now is metric, spanners etc. Plumbing is now push fit. I have been there done that and breathed a sigh of relief finding the right size, it was only a spanner but wow.

Sanding has changed, abrinet is the modern way so old sanding stuff could go. For me, that reduced my storage a bit. Best way might be to go category by category eg old paints, sanding, sharpening, tape measures, spirit levels, drills I have one large hammer drill and one small makita for easy stuff, more drills are not needed

I bought a few tool storage boxes, for allen keys, screws, chisels etc. I think I have six, all labelled on a storage unit. They are neat and I can grab one quickly. I keep mastic tubes in one just because they are still full. I still have opportunity to further clear but not yet

www.diy.com/departments/12-5-plastic-3-compartment-toolbox/1518915_BQ.prd

My power tools ie sander, jigsaw etc are all based on the makita battery system, apart from the hammer drill. It might be possible to ask dh if he would like to change to one system, if he has a lot of different power tools. That would neaten things