Mum really did know best

When we went on our summer holiday you used to hear the clack clack of my mum's knitting needles the whole fortnight going ninety to the dozen knitting our school jumpers and cardigans for the new school year ahead. She sat on her deckchair in the sun as we happily played around her with our homemade kites and water pistols.
I remember her cake baking and we used to stand round her waiting on the spoon or even better the bowl to lick clean.
The bowl haircuts, the teeth wobbling so the tooth fairy would come, patching the knees of our trousers, all wonderful memories of my mum ♥️

So lovely. There’s a book somewhere here. Anybody with literary skills, editing mind and publishing nouse out there? What a volume it would make; a guaranteed bestseller. AND enthusiastic contributors. To be released in time for Christmas gift buying market. I am serious!

biglouis

I never had a close emotional bond with my parents and in many ways my grandmother took a mothers' role in my life. It was she who encouraged me to aspire for better things in life and to qualify in a profession.

One of the things she taught me was make lists of things I wanted to accomplish for that day, and I still follow her advice. Another was to finish one task before you move onto the next. If Im working on one task I actually push anything relating to the next item on the list out of sight. I call it "file the pile".

If its an ongoing job, always leave it in a state where you (or someone else) can conveniently pick it up next time.

My grandmother had never heard of the term "multi tasking" and would have given it short shrift if she had. She was a very wise woman and her advice on this topic still holds good for me. I hate having to break off one thing in order to attend to another.

Crikey, that’s me through and through! I hate breaking off jobs. I can’t even bear to have more than one book on the go or more than one crochet or knitting project.

I never had a close emotional bond with my parents and in many ways my grandmother took a mothers' role in my life. It was she who encouraged me to aspire for better things in life and to qualify in a profession.

One of the things she taught me was make lists of things I wanted to accomplish for that day, and I still follow her advice. Another was to finish one task before you move onto the next. If Im working on one task I actually push anything relating to the next item on the list out of sight. I call it "file the pile".

If its an ongoing job, always leave it in a state where you (or someone else) can conveniently pick it up next time.

My grandmother had never heard of the term "multi tasking" and would have given it short shrift if she had. She was a very wise woman and her advice on this topic still holds good for me. I hate having to break off one thing in order to attend to another.

Thank you Primrose for your kind words x

Lilyflower

My mum’s last years were characterised by her disappearance into alcoholism and Alzheimer’s, sadly, and she didn’t have much time for her children before that. However, I knew she loved me and that’s what counts.

Quite right and it does count! If you are loved you know it! Unlike today when everybody hugs and kisses, my parents were never like that but we knew we were greatly loved. I think most parents back then were the same, at least that’s what my friends tell me.

Tears all round I think Primrose53; lovely memories. Your last comment about your aunt cleaning reminded me of my mum telling me ‘the dust will be there when you’re gone’ to encourage me to enjoy things and not worry about the house.

DanniRae

This is a wonderful thread but it made me cry yesterday and I'm crying again today. I've been feeling a bit blue lately ... I know I have no reason so haven't spoken to anyone about it ... but at the age of 74 I am embarrassed to say that I really wish I could spend a little time with my lovely mum

I think it’s perfectly normal DanniRae. ❤️ My Mum was nearly 97 when she died but was still asking for HER Mum days before she passed. Prior to Covid I started writing down little memories Mum had of her home, her siblings, her parents, her school friends etc.

Even though she had Alzheimers and couldn’t tell you what she had for breakfast, she could name everybody, including all the neighbours and pets. I typed it up for her and we used to read through it most days. In her final days a member of staff told me that folder was worth it’s weight in gold because when Mum was upset or anxious they would read it to her and she would smile and calm down.

Memories are very powerful things and for many of us our childhoods were the best so it’s only natural to return to them.

This is a wonderful thread but it made me cry yesterday and I'm crying again today. I've been feeling a bit blue lately ... I know I have no reason so haven't spoken to anyone about it ... but at the age of 74 I am embarrassed to say that I really wish I could spend a little time with my lovely mum

Such a lovely thread , I had a difficult relationship with my mother during my teens and early twenties as she was controlling . I loved her and she loved me and I hold onto the lovely memories of childhood . Birthday parties with all the children on the street . Special packed lunches on school trips . Up before us with breakfast before school and always home on our return with a snack . Cake baking , shelling peas , tea in the garden . She was a good Mum who tried her best and I wish I hadnt been such a horrible teenager . She died when I was 39 , broke my heart ❤

My mum’s last years were characterised by her disappearance into alcoholism and Alzheimer’s, sadly, and she didn’t have much time for her children before that. However, I knew she loved me and that’s what counts.

Mum used to welcome all my friends round and on Friday evenings ,when we were about 14 ,she would make us chips in cones of grease proof paper,and we’d all sit around and chat.We loved it and so did she….plus the fact that she knew where we were!

I love the idea of draping clothes to dry over lavender bushes I'm going to give it a try

I was one of those mums who did every thing your Mums did.
I had my Sainsburys delivery today and spent a lot of time with knives and scissors and effort getting into plastic trays. When a young Mum everything was in paper bags. Even eggs and you didn’t have to buy six.

This is a lovely thread, and it's nice reading all these wonderful memories people have of their mums. I wish all mums were like that...

My Mum used to dry lavender and put little bunches of it in her chest of drawers and wardrobe, oh and the airing cupboard. When I had to clear her house all her knitting wool was bagged up into colours and weights and each bag had lavender in it. it smells wonderful as you open the bags.

I passed on some lovely fleece throws to my niece and she cried and cried and said “these just feel like Nanny is still with me.”

It took me such a long time to accept and come to terms with the fact my mother had died in 1999, even to the extent I couldn’t say she had died. She collapsed and died of a major stroke. For so long, I only referred to it as, her accident. She was my anchor and my inspiration.

I too remember draping washing over lavender shrubs when we lived in Provence. Always with pillowslips especially and the scent of lavender in the bedroom was divine.

I love this thread too. I had my mum to myself for 11 years then she provided me with a baby sister! Our mum was a woman of many sayings. One reminiscing session with my sister produced 50 plus sayings. Days seldom pass without one flits into my mind to cover the ongoing situation such as "This too will pass" and "Nothing lasts forever`'. These, in particular, came to me as medical colleagues rushed me into a surgical theatre for surgeery on an ectopic pregnancy. I have heard her sayings dismissed recently on a radio programme as 'trite' but they continue to help me on my way. I intend to use them as chapter headings in a memoir outlining an eventful life full of coincidences and challenges supported throughout by her words which have lived on for over 20 years since her death in 2000.

What a lovely thread, I’ve plucked up courage to write here as it has made me tearful too, thinking of all the loving things my mother did for me and how much more appreciative I could have been at the time. Her mother died the year before I was born and she told me how much she missed her, not having her help and advice. My mum died 17 years ago and I still miss her and think of her. I recently found a photo of her and my dad looking happy on holiday. I have put it in my bedroom so I see it daily. Thank you for starting this post. I’m fortunate to have happy memories of my mother.

My mum worked so hard. Her own mother died whe she was 1week old and she was brought up by her dad and her aunt. She was always knitting cooking sewing baking and entertaining. Everyone was welcome in our house and left well fed at least. She brought up 3 daughters while my dad worked all hours in the steel industry. She taught me so much and we lost her in 2008 aged 100. I still miss her.

Oh dear, I’m crying now 😢😢

Reading all the lovely posts about our Mums has brought it home to me that it’s the actions and the simple things that we all remember not foreign holidays, expensive toys etc. I hope younger parents than us know that.

Things like old sheets draped over the washing line for tents, Mums bringing us sandwiches so we could have a picnic out there, teaching us ball games against the back of the house, giving us the first tiny apple off a tree or the first strawberry in the garden or giving us a little piece of soil for our own garden.

We lived on the coast and Mum used to take us down after school with other Mums and they would sit knitting while we swam and paddled. My Auntie was a lovely, kind lady who only died a few months ago in her 90s, but she was obsessed with house cleaning and used to be “too busy” to take my cousins down so often my Mum or her own elderly Mum would take them and her Mum would say “I wish she would just bring those boys down and forget her cleaning as that’s the abiding memory they will have of her.”

Lovely memories of mums. I still put a piece of apple in my brown sugar container if it cakes up. Just passed that wisdom to my daughter.
. My mum, and dad, taught me to enjoy the simple things in life.
My mum loved to look at the sunset and she would say 'come and look at this' as though it were the first time she had seen it.
I miss her so.

My mum taught me almost everything I know about child care. She was a nurse in the war and a children's nursery nurse afterwards. I followed her "use psychology" approach, and also Vitamin C for colds, steam for croup etc with my children.

It's coming up to my 11th year without my mum and I miss picking up the phone for advice and just a chat.
My mum always put a hard pea in the salt celler to stop dampness and she carried her net bag to put her fruit and veg straight into. My dad's parents lived near us and she always put her dinner on the top of pot of boiling water to keep it warm until she took dinner round to my grandparents every night. She was the kindest mum, who did without a lot just so we could have birthdays, Christmas, etc. We didn't have a lot, but she made us all feel so special and I miss her terribly.

What I really wish is that it would be possible to have a talk to my mum when she was the same age as I am.. as friends.. to really understand her.. unfortunately she's been dead for many years and when she was alive I didn't have those honest, open hearted talks with her.. Hindsight is often a sad thing and now I so value and appreciate how wise and kind she was..