Help for the Hopeless Housewife!

I think I am more worried about it than I should be reading all your comments. I have just cleared out my mother's 6 bedroom, 4 reception room house which was stuffed to the gunnels and had got very grubby. I look at my house sometimes and see it starting to look the same so I shudder at the thought.
I am going to have a big chuck out, clean the house from top to bottom and start to do a little more in the mornings to keep on top of it. I am going to repeat to myself daily that I must not procrastinate and keep on top of it. Oh, and I am going to buy keepcalmandcavachon's recommendation of "Keep Calm and Carry On."
Thank you for all your replies.

My daughter told me that my daughter-in-law was (apparently) open-mouthed when she saw our home for the first time. She comes from a fairly modern house with modern interiors, built in fixtures and no antiques, no hobbies in the house, no toys and so on, modern furniture etc.

I do think it's harder if you live (as we do) with both vintage and antique furniture and nothing even loosely modern. With lots of ongoing projects and things in states of repair, lots of books and almost all free-standing storage.. complicated glass light fittings that take time to even dust and old paintings with "awkward" frames.

I can clean my mother-in-law's house easily in a couple of hours because she doesn't live like me. My home (and hers) just reflect who we are as people.

When I was a girl and we had tiny window panes they alone took forever - probably longer than my mother-in-law's whole house.

And some of us have jobs that involve extra "cleaning effort" too...

I like my washbasins, shower, w.cs etc to be clean, I like my cutlery/crockery to be spotless - and the rest is done as-and-when.

Yes, one needs to differentiate between what is necessary and what one does for one's own satisfaction.

sodapop

All the tired old clichés popping up, some of us quite enjoy housework and seeing our homes clean & tidy. Doesn't prevent us from leading full and interesting lives as well.

Enjoying housework isn’t related to how clean and tidy your house is, nor how full a life you lead though. I’d guess most of us have clean and tidy houses because we prefer that state, not because we enjoy housework. Cleaning is merely a necessary evil, to my mind anyway.

but long for a house where I can open the door to visitors if they turn up unexpectedly

Well, that would apply to my house. I am a very tidy person and always put things back where I find them. However DH is not equally tidy, Fortunately what he leaves lying around ar newspapers, quickly gathered and put in recycling or too;s. neatly lined up, whichjust get shoved in the garage.

But I really do believe that many people, mainly women, do far more cleaning than is necessary. The last six weeks when neither of us was capable of cleaning anything, has shown me just how little is really needed. I cleaned the bathrooms a couple of times and the kitchen sink about once a week, while we were ill.

Come the new year I will be re-assessing my cleaning routines and reducing them further. Not because I am comfortable with muddle and mess. I hate it and like things to be neat, tidy and clean, but I am realising how little cleaning is needed in a tidy house.

The other thing we have no pets, or animals at all in the house - and I do understand that that can make an enormous difference.

but long for a house where I can open the door to visitors if they turn up unexpectedly

One of my friends always used to say in situations like this: If all else fails, lower your standards. 😉

I agree Sodapop.

I regularly have people/family dropping in and often I have visitors who are staying, so I do keep on top of the housework. I have a cleaner who comes weekly (alternating for 1 and 2 hours) and she’s a great help as she changes some of the beds for me and mops the floors. I know and appreciate the difference she makes but she often says that the house looks the same before and after her visits. With 3 bathrooms and 4 toilets to clean and sometimes 6 beds to make each week she’s worth her weight in gold to me.

On the other hand I have a very good friend who lives in chaos with clutter and untidiness everywhere, but it bothers me not a bit as she is always warm and welcoming.

I enjoy a cup of tea so I fill the kettle as full as possible and do as much in that time. Make the tea in a large pot and do something while it brews. Then I strain the tea so it doesn’t stew and have reheatable cups of tea throughout the day as a reward for every job. Not necessarily housework jobs it could be boring paper work or picking things off the floor tasks. There have to be three things on the floor to make it worthwhile bending down. I generally if on my own uses timer. How much can I do in 15 minutes. It’s a carrot in front of the donkey way of doing things. Employing a cleaner is also a life saver if you can. I have a lady whose eyes glitter and fingers twitch when she asks if she can clean out a cupboard. She acts as if it’s a treat not a challenge.

sodapop

All the tired old clichés popping up, some of us quite enjoy housework and seeing our homes clean & tidy. Doesn't prevent us from leading full and interesting lives as well.

Indeed.

I want my home to be clean and dog hair free, at least once a day. I hoover daily - can't kick through dog hair shed without!

All the tired old clichés popping up, some of us quite enjoy housework and seeing our homes clean & tidy. Doesn't prevent us from leading full and interesting lives as well.

You’re so right MOnica. Life’s too short. I wonder if anyone on their death bed says they regret that they hadn’t been a better “housewife”?

Any cleaning regime where someone can say Sometimes I’ll pop upstairs in the evening to put the laundry away and find myself giving the bedrooms a quick dust and vacuum. is cleaning way beyond any requirement. unless you live in central London and have windows open all day, or have a houseful of marauding teenagers.

I have had a really nasty respiratory infection for the last six weeks, when cleaning has been beyond my capabilities. It is amazing just how little this shows. nor did catching up take long. 15 minutes per room, bar the kitchen..

People spend way too much time doing quite unnecessary cleaning. I have got so many other more interesting things to do.

It’s little and often for me too, as this is a big house and a blitz would take all day! For me, it’s important that the housework fits around me, not the reverse, so there’s not much routine. Sometimes I’ll pop upstairs in the evening to put the laundry away and find myself giving the bedrooms a quick dust and vacuum. I’m also a great believer in ‘straightening up’ before bed, so not coming down to a sink full of pots etc.
In all, it’s probably just an hour a day, but not in one go.

I once heard someone say she made a point of not spending more than 15 mins a day in each room. If I count all my rooms (including landings and hallways etc) I come to about 17. Which would mean over. 4 hours housework a day.

I split it differently. I don't always keep to the routine and it's not always necessary to do it every week, but one day I dust, the next day I polish wood, the next I wipe any "plastic" surfaces (window sills, light switches, sockets., skirting boards, all of which gather horrendous amounts of dust and grubbiness). The fourth day is easy - just anything of steel, which are things like table legs, some light fittings. On the last day I go over glass surfaces, mirrors mainly, but we have glass doors on the ground floor and some glass-topped tables in the lounge.

This way

- you go into each room each day, so you will automatically tidy
- each job averages about 20-30 mins a day
- you only need one set of equipment each time and don't have to lug the hoover, bottles of various cleaning agents, buckets of water and dusters into each room

I split the floors similarly, dividing them into equal area sizes and according to whether they are tiled, carpeted or wood/laminate.

The system doesn't always work because I get tired quicker these days. Next year I think I'll alternate floors and general cleaning each week. We do get an awful lot of dust here, though, due to the chipboard factory in the village.

If you don't feel like housework, I have learnt over Christmas (yet again) that you can still do it if you have to! My kitchen and dining room are spotless despite having family including grandchildren of 4 and 9 over for a huge lunch and later tea last night. I was up till midnight and got the whole kitchen clean including a quick wipe of the floor. It's a lovely feeling. I can rest today [smug]

However, as everyone has said, it's not tidiness or cleanliness that make for a welcoming home. It's you and the things you choose to place in it. It's a cosy fire, or at least a warm room or a sunny patio, sitting down in comfortable seats, even if it is amongst unpumped up cushions and last week's newspapers and looking and smiling at your visitor. Keeping everything ready to be able to produce a steaming cup of tea however cluttered the kitchen otherwise is so that you can quickly bring it out to your guest and not leave them alone for long. Keeping a conversation going that is about them and their worries.

And NEVER talk about plans you have for improving your home. Give the impression that you are happy as you are, and not itching to paint that wall or clean that carpet, move that piano or find a home for that stuffed bear.

Oh dear. Excuse the ramble. I hope someone got something out of it. It certainly helped me arrange my thoughts and gave me some ideas for the new year.

I don’t think I need to vacuum or dust on a daily basis, just the two of us and no pets.

Plus thinking about previous threads about taking shoes off before entering the house, surely not that much dirt should even be coming into our homes?

And I am part of the ‘keep them on’ brigade. Just wipe them on the doormat before entering.

I'm a bit like that icanhandthemback I want to clean every inch of the room I am in. I have had to school myself into being less enthusiastic. I don't have a particular routine but I do give each room a thorough clean about every three weeks and then just the basics in between times. We have two dogs and a cat so vacuuming is a given on alternate days. I'm lucky in that my husband does the shopping and cooking. I volunteer as a librarian a couple of times a week and regularly go out with friends. I dont keep a lot of 'stuff' either so that its easier to keep surfaces clean. Good luck but don't stress about things, even I can live with a little dust

Farzanah, my husband is very helpful with things like washing up, cooking, hoovering, etc. He doesn't do things to my standards (or those that I aspire to) but he keeps things ticking over. I am more of your DIY girl than housewife!

sodapop, I don't think you are boring at all. Run me through your routine so I get an idea of how it is done.

One of my problems is that I can never do things in half measures. Once I start cleaning, I see all the dust, marks, cobwebs, etc and eventually I feel overwhelmed. I also find that I open the cupboard with the cleaning stuff in and find myself sorting it out to make it more accessible...it never stays that way.

Our house is usually tidy if perhaps a little dusty. I dislike housework but find the best way is little and often rather than trying to do a blitz all in one go. Decide which room(s) to clean and concentrate on that I find an hour usually does it and I tell myself that it is an hour less time than on social media where I can often waste a lot of time!

If two people live in a house I don’t see why it should be down to just one to keep it clean, unless one is unable to help.
I agree with MOnica, just do the basics and clean things when they obviously look dirty.
Friends worth having won’t be judging your worth on whether your house is pristine.

It is possible to do both I agree MerylStreep I do get tired of hearing how boring those of us who don't mind cleaning must be.
If I only vacuumed once a fortnight you would have to dig your way into the house
Maybe a slight exaggeration but you get my drift.

Grandma not Grandna . And sorry for leaned !
Where are my glasses ?
If only I were tidier !

I also hate cleaning though I do it .
If I'm really frank about it : my childhood was ruined by my mother's complete obsession with having an immaculate home .
She worked full time and had a glittering career .
She was incredibly beautiful and had a great social life .
My Grandma was stuck with the cleaning - and when my mother was at home she would lose her temper with her over her "poor standards".
My Grandna was a deeply relugious country woman not given over to an immaculate home .
In failing health , she did her best to shop , cook for my fussy demanding eating different foods parents and launder our clothes and to grow fresh vegetables , fruit and salad .

I remember being constantly shooed out of rooms that my mother was cleaning .

I earmark a film that I want to see or time to read and write and force myself to clean .
At the moment , I'm struggling with ill health and I'm way behind with my routine .
So I prioritise -
cleaning the kitchen and bathroom and myself !

Life is too short .
Enjoy it !

leaned

icanhandthemback How long? About 40 mins/ hour per day broken down into chunks if needed, gets me going in the mornings haha!
Never feels overwhelming and as the house is always 'done' never feels as if it needs a clean/tidy . Far too many hobbies/good books to read/ places to visit or gardening to enjoy so I like to get it done (and to be honest I do enjoy it whilst listening to Taylor Swift and so on )and get out.
Favourite sayings -
" Little and often "& "Be your future friend"
But really it's the de-cluttering