Still Homesick Two Years After House Move

Hi, I’m OP’s daughter,

I wanted to update this thread to let you know that tragically my mum took her own life on 16 April 2024. She was 71.

Our family—my dad (her husband), my sister and I—are heartbroken and devastated.

It seems that in the end she was overwhelmed by grief for the loss of her old life and her family home of 40 years (although ageing and the relentless doom of the daily news contributed to her depression).

I had been worried about my mum’s emotional state and some changes in her behaviour and had briefly researched warning signs to look out for, but unfortunately they didn’t really match up with what I saw (and I foolishly thought she wasn’t “the type”).

My mum was a kind and gentle woman who loved her family, cats and the natural world and this should never have happened.

If you are struggling, please let someone know—your GP, a friend, counsellor, or contact Samaritans on 116 123. There is hope and your life is worth living.

If you’re worried about someone you know, please take your gut instinct seriously and don’t think they’re not “the type”—there is no type when it comes to suicide, as our family has learned the hard way.

Hello wondereye I am so very sorry to hear about your mum. What a terrible shock for you all. I really don’t know what else to say other than take care of each other

How very sad, wondereye, and how brave of you to let us know. Sending to you and your family, with sympathy.

So sorry to read this, sending you condolences 💐.

Sorry for your loss. Nothing I can say will make you or your family feel any better. But it's so kind of you to let everyone know plus give a warning about you can't tell who will take their own life . And to go with your gut instinct. 💐

Oh no.
How sad.

I feel a bit shocked, and I dont even know you.

Well done for coming on here. And posting what you have.

Best wishes to you and your family. .

Oh no… very sad news .😢
wondereye Thankyou for taking time, despite your grief, to let us know about your dear Mum. We didn’t know her, but we are one big family here and feel we have lost one of our own. Be strong and brave in the days, weeks, months and years ahead. I hope your Dad takes some comfort from the fact that he has you , your sister and the family, by his side. Take care

That is such sad news.

So very sorry. We are all thinking of you.

My condolences indeed. Very sad news. Take care of yourself.

Thank you so much for letting us know, albeit a sad ending. Coming to terms with a suicide is very difficult; please take time to look after yourself, and know that it is not in anyway your fault. Will be thinking of you and your family.

Hi wondereye, I am so very sorry to read your post. As someone who suffers with depression, I had such empathy for your mum. Just tragic she felt she could not go on, it is always easy to think you will find a solution for everything in the normal run of life. But when you suffer with depression, it is very scary and you feel so very fragile about so many things.
Thankyou for letting us all know,, sending love to you and your family.

I’m so very sorry Wondereye, about your lovely mom. To leave a home which has been a place of happy memories is too hard for many of us. It is kind of you to let us know. My own dear mother died two weeks after leaving her home. She was in her fifties.
Please look after yourself it is what she would have wanted.

wondereye

Hi, I’m OP’s daughter,

I wanted to update this thread to let you know that tragically my mum took her own life on 16 April 2024. She was 71.

Our family—my dad (her husband), my sister and I—are heartbroken and devastated.

It seems that in the end she was overwhelmed by grief for the loss of her old life and her family home of 40 years (although ageing and the relentless doom of the daily news contributed to her depression).

I had been worried about my mum’s emotional state and some changes in her behaviour and had briefly researched warning signs to look out for, but unfortunately they didn’t really match up with what I saw (and I foolishly thought she wasn’t “the type”).

My mum was a kind and gentle woman who loved her family, cats and the natural world and this should never have happened.

If you are struggling, please let someone know—your GP, a friend, counsellor, or contact Samaritans on 116 123. There is hope and your life is worth living.

If you’re worried about someone you know, please take your gut instinct seriously and don’t think they’re not “the type”—there is no type when it comes to suicide, as our family has learned the hard way.

wondereye

I am so sorry, please take care of yourself, your sister and Dad.

Reminder to all of us: listen, meet posters where they are. Make helpful suggestions - call Samaritans, a counsellor, ones Priest.

That's so terribly sad for you and
your family wondereye
Thankyou for finding her post on here and for your sensible advice, which I shall follow.

I have had several “forced” moves over the years the last one only a year ago. The one thing I have learned is that you have to throw yourself whole heartedly into the local community! You have to look forward not back and you will make friends and connections and and start to put down roots. Feeling a part of the area and invested in it is 100% the key

Oh blimey please take this down i hadnt read the update! So sorry for your loss!

jenpax if you want your post removed, report it and you will get a chance to explain why.

When we moved to this house I hated it. It was a new estate. I was scared in the winter months in the evening alone at home with two babies due to along antisocial behaviour from teenagers. Nearly 30 years later there is a more even mix of age groups and I feel very safe in my cul de sac surrounded by other people who’ve been here for as long. I wouldn’t leave for that reason.

So very sorry

So sorry. I feel that suicide also kills the living in a way. Life can never be the same. Things like eating and sleeping do get better with time. After a recent suicide in the family, I keep telling myself they are now at peace. This world is such a struggle and your dear mum made that decision and nothing can bring her back. Treasure all the happy memories and remember that last thing she would want is for you to be unhappy for ever. xx

wondereye I've just re-read the whole thread.

Your dear mum had seemed to be enjoying and benefitting from the support she was getting on here in January and was starting to look forward and make plans for the new house.
It's so tragic to hear that by April she felt she couldn't carry on.

I hope you, your dad and your sister can find some peace with memories of your mum in happier times.

I hope your dad is ok if he's still living in the new house.

Very best wishes to you all xx

wondereye I am so very sad to read this and so sorry for your loss.
My heart goes out to you, your dad and sister. I hope you can all find some comfort and peace after such a tragic event.

Dear Wondereye.
Thank you for coming on here and getting us know about your mother.
And for stressing the importance of contacting help if you need.
I do think the media does not help with its constant barrage of gloom.
So thank you again and sending all condolencies to you and your family.
Am going to do research on what helps people who are feeling down and how in local communities we can help them.

This world is such a struggle

Yes, very sorry to hear about your Mum.

Best Wishes at this challenging time.