Anyone moved home in their mid 60s? What did you get right? And wrong?

I moved over 100 miles to the north west from a large 3 bed house to a 2 bed bungalow 5 years ago aged 61 and couldn't be happier. I was widowed 20 years ago . But couldn't move to closer to where my children lived as I couldn't abandon my parents or mother in law even thought I hated her for 40 years.

My house sale fell through twice but they keep the bungalow for me . It would have upset if I lost it. I did all my own packing . And made the bungalow mine as I am disabled and needed it to be safe for me.

I existed before my move but since live my life to the full. Have better healthcare , neighbours who care ,great friends I can rely on and my daughter and family lives close by so see them regularly. Even though my son estranged me via email 4 years ago after seeing him and his 2 eldest every week for 7 months and have a grandson I don't even know his name or date of birth . Last time I saw my grandsons they where 4 and 2.

But it was his choice and will never understand why. I don't regret my moving here one little bit . The grief I feel over my husband dieing hurts me more than what my son has done

My weeks fly by go to sit fit ,gel printing and craft group every week . Transport system here is very good as I don't drive .

Moving has given me my life back and a better life and found me again .

Bungalows from the ones I’ve been in can be either fabulous if surrounded by a lovely garden or boring and dark with no interesting views if the windows are set too high and you are not in an elevated position amongst too many others.

Space for a top class stair lift if it is a house and preferably a proper hallway, with a seperate lounge ie not kitchen/diner through-lounge.
Definitely downstairs shower room and loo. Try and picture what it might be like if you ever need people to help you in the future and with regards to walking aids and chairs etc and their storage.
Making it as accessible as poss without it looking like a prospective care home.

That’s such a positive story Whiff and good to hear. I think you also need to have a positive mindset to settle in to a new area also, which you clearly have.

Farzanah I didn't have a home once my husband took his last breath it was a house which I rattled round. As soon as I decided to move I didn't think of it as mine . Moving gave me a home again and will never move again.

My bungalow is in a lovely area and not dark or boring . Northerners are so welcoming never know such kindness.

In my early 70's! Huge upheaval and 7 years on I'm still not settled. DH loves it though!!

It was a 'downsize' move to a bungalow, encouraged by and welcomed by the adult children. We are much nearer to them now. However, not all has worked out as the adult children had hoped as although we aim to please we have obviously failed in some respects. So advice would be to please yourself first and others should hopefully 'fit in' with your choices. Good luck.

We bought the ideal house a bungalow with a smallish garden all seemed idea but now 25 years later the town is far too far for me to walk into . The bus service is only once an hour and not reliable and not really convenient. How I wish I could just walk to the shops instead of having to go by car and find a parking space .

Reported

mrshat do you mean you are estranged from your child. If so the support thread on estrangement forum will help you. They helped me and you are not alone .

So many have moved to a new area in your later years.
I don't think I could do that. I love where I am but it's far too big and expensive to run.
I'm mid 70s and am seriously thinking of building in my own large garden. I'd have to sell first and it's not guaranteed that I'd get planning permission. My DC all think I'm batty but it excites me and I need something to look forward to.
I've looked at a few houses in this area but there's nothing suitable or that I can imagine living in.
If the build idea doesn't materialise, I'll probably stay here until the end.

We live very rural.
The talk of buses makes me smile.
There used to be one here, once a week, to go to a Supermarket. Dont think there is even that now.

I cant think of where to move home to, when older, as too many possibilities to consider.
A bit a part of, a matter of who dies first, or gets ill first. out of about 5 people.

Transport may end up being the biggest issue.

I was thinking I would read on here of people regularly using taxis.

fancythat - my widowed neighbour, who, for medical reasons is not allowed to drive, uses taxis regularly. Sometimes I wonder whether I should get rid of my car and use taxis - perhaps more cost effective

Yes. I moved 10 years ago when I was about your age and came to Canada because my daughter and family are here. I wanted to live nearby and now live 10 mins. walk away from them. So the area was really predetermined but luckily it is a friendly neighbourhood of mixed ages and I live in an apartment building amongest single people, young couples, some with children and some people around my age and various nationalities. Security was a priority and accordingly I ruled out ground floor properties. Community centre, library, swimming pool, grocery stores,restaurants, GP, optician, dentist all within walking distance which is a real bonus. The transit system is great with theatres, cinema etc. only a 1/2 hour ride away and airport 1 hour away. So location very important. My apartment is open plan with 2 bedrooms, quick and easy to clean. I have a little garden area on a communal patio and a few plants and seating on my balcony.
Good luck.

Cocopops, have you made friends and built a life for yourself? It sounds like you have and have no regrets.

My In-laws moved in their mid 60s to an unsuitable rural property and moved again after 5 years to a housing estate 3 bed with downstairs loo. Later they installed a stair lift. It was near us and to their other
relatives. Shops and amenities were handy and a bus which they rarely, if ever, used.
When he died in his mid 90s, 2 of her DC took turns to live with her to save her from going into care. She died last year aged 98. The house was suitable till the end.

Having friends nearby was never a priority for them whereas I would miss my network if I moved.

We're in our early 60s and about to downsize for retirement. Moving from a 4 bed/4 bath detached to a 3 bed semi. We're hopefully due to complete soon, but it hasn't been an easy process, as this will the the 3rd property we've tried to purchase, as the previous two fell through!

However, each time, after more consideration, we've chosen a completely different style of property, so perhaps it was meant to be! The first property was really too large, with a big garden ... a perfect family home, but there's now only two of us living in it! The second had a large kitchen/diner, so no spare room for a downstairs bedroom if eventually necessary. The third (and hopefully final one!) has a separate dining room which could become a bedroom. It also has a downstairs WC, which could convert to a shower room. The garden has a large flat terrace, with plenty of room for outdoor furniture/BBQ, and a smallish flat lawn, so it's quite easy to maintain. Close to local shops and services, with a bus route into town just at the end of the road. It was a process we went through until we finally (hopefully!) got it right!

Grammaretto Yes thank-you. I made 4 good friends by joining some groups. Then one moved an hour's flight away, another returned to her birth country and another one died . I joined a new Meetup group a couple of months ago "Over 50's Social Group"(I am probably the oldest!) There are meetups for chats at coffee shops, restaurants ,bike rides, dancing, 10 pin bowling and all sorts of things and I've been lucky to make new friends again. I had to learn the different culture here and also pushed myself to be more outgoing and to try new things!

Grammaretto
I've looked at a few houses in this area but there's nothing suitable or that I can imagine living in.

This is just how I feel despite 10+ viewings.

I've been bowled over by all the comments - so detailed and insightful and genuinely helpful. And they've made me feel less alone in my search - I don't know anyone in RL who is going through or has been through this process.

I'm not surprised you feel lonely in your search grassgreen. It's such a big decision to make.

I had my house valued by 2 agents. One was so nice and kind, telling me my house was very pretty and someone else would love it though it could take a long time to find a buyer.
The next EA was brutal. Told me anyone buying would knock it down and redevelop the site!

I am expecting a third valuation. 😂

I notice many are saying how convenient moving to a bungalow has been, no stairs to worry about.

And no one has mentioned the dreaded ‘bungalow legs’, which many seem to see as a consequence of bungalow living.

As a bungalow owner, I am very happy with it, no desire to have stairs again.

Keep using your legs and hopefully they will be ok.

We were thinking of moving when we’re in our sixties, so glad we didn’t. I live in a safe town, near to a city with good bus links. Choice of two large hospitals and a good by today standards health centre. I never thought when I was 60 my health would be as it is today at 77 so having decent health support is key for me

We moved to a lovely bungalow 1.5 years ago. The garden is smallish and manageable. I think you have to be far more practical about your needs as you get older, and this house is definitely much easier to look after than the large 70’s semi we lived in previously.
Nowhere is perfect though, and we are nearer a main road than I would have wanted to be. No regrets though!
Good luck with finding your new home.

We had two reasons for moving - our daughter asked us to move closer to her, and we were already thinking of a change due to the fact that we had a very old 17th century cottage with a very large garden in the country.

We compiled a list of essential things and things that were nice to have. In the end we got most on our list - I would say location is absolutely number one consideration as we age. We're about half an hour from our daughter which is definitely near enough, we have regular buses into the nearby city, a village shop, two pubs and a fish and chip shop. There is a library and the doctors surgery and a new hospital approx. a mile down the road.

We were in our mid 60's and glad we didn't leave it any longer. We still have a decent sized house with four bedrooms, all fully used - one for our grandsons, one as a dressing room for me, a hobby room and our bedroom. The house is modern with downstairs loo, separate dining room which could become a bedroom if necessary, a bathroom each, a small garden and a garage. The compromise was that it's on a main road which wouldn't suit everyone - but the trade-off is the bus stop right outside. Also it has a decent sized front garden with trees and shrubs to screen the road.

I love being near our daughter and grandchildren - we looked after the eldest two days a week until he went to school - which we couldn't have done from our previous location. Also as gardening is my main hobby I wouldn't want to be without at least a small garden.

So much to weigh up and consider, in the end some of it is down to the luck of getting the right buyer and seller! I hope it all works out for you.

We moved five years ago aged 62. We bought a two bed semi with two bathrooms, and a downstairs toilet i’d have been happy with one bathroom though as there’s a lot of cleaning.
I wish we’d bought a bungalow, but there weren’t any suitable where we lived, and we didn’t want to move away from our family.

Im not sure either if we’d be able to have a stairlift, as the staircase is small with two turns so we may have to move again. Who knows 🤞 So not perfect but better than the three story house we moved from.

Calendargirl

I notice many are saying how convenient moving to a bungalow has been, no stairs to worry about.

And no one has mentioned the dreaded ‘bungalow legs’, which many seem to see as a consequence of bungalow living.

As a bungalow owner, I am very happy with it, no desire to have stairs again.

Keep using your legs and hopefully they will be ok.

Personally, I dont understand the concept of bungalow legs.
I dont know anyone who has them I dont think?
But would I know if I did?

And then older people sometimes move to a bungalow. So then no one cares any more about them??

As I say, I dont get it.

I could start a thread sometime I suppose. So as not to derail this one.

Grammaretto

So many have moved to a new area in your later years.
I don't think I could do that. I love where I am but it's far too big and expensive to run.
I'm mid 70s and am seriously thinking of building in my own large garden. I'd have to sell first and it's not guaranteed that I'd get planning permission. My DC all think I'm batty but it excites me and I need something to look forward to.
I've looked at a few houses in this area but there's nothing suitable or that I can imagine living in.
If the build idea doesn't materialise, I'll probably stay here until the end.

Grammaretto; you wouldn't necessarily have to sell first. There are specific finance companies that will lend you the money to do the build, then recoup on the sale. It is quite complex, and you would need specialist advice. You may prefer to sell, rent nearby & supervise the build.
Do you know this site:
www.homebuildingshow.co.uk/
They have loads of advice, contacts etc. It's well worth going to a show and gathering lots of information. They are great fun.
A friend who lives near to us recently did what you are thinking of - but instead of gathering lots of information and considering carefully (as we did) she simply contracted out to a local builder. he made all the decisions - and now she moans about them! But when she says 'I wish I had ....x... like you' I want to say 'But you didn't want to make the effort to find out about it!' (Of course I don't)

As for planning permission - contact the planning department and make a general enquiry. When we did our build the council offered general advice for free - I think some charge now. However it is worth it to get an idea of what is likely to be allowed, what considerations there would have to be etc. before consulting anyone else.
You might even ask about converting your existing home into a flat suitable for you and one to sell.
Good luck!