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House and home

Bad homemaker

(109 Posts)
Thepanaramawoman Wed 05-Feb-25 22:57:34

I’m a very poor homemaker.
Never had a house that looked that nice and sometimes felt embarrassed when people came.
I’m tidy ish and clean ish if having guests. I hate housework and cleaning and haven’t much interest in home decor. As long as things are functional that’s about as much as I can do.
In the past I’ve wished I was but it’s just the way I am and I’m learning to accept it.
I admire people who love home making but I have other interests that I put a lot of effort in to.
Are there any other gransnetters who aren’t too bothered about home making and/or aren’t very good at it?

Dcba Sun 09-Feb-25 16:47:07

Love to be in a clean and tidy house …..but not sure I can commit to doing it myself! My cleaning lady - who has been with us for over 30 years on and off - is a gem! I so love the day after she’s been here…..everything sparkles and the bathrooms smell so nice! The older we get the more we appreciate her - but we had a wake up call last month when we realized she was about to celebrate her 70th birthday! That puts us to shame,

fancythat Sun 09-Feb-25 12:45:38

I am dreading losing my best friends.
My two best ones are both relatively young, but already have major health issues.

fancythat Sun 09-Feb-25 12:44:29

Time is necessary to grieve properly.

Aldom Fri 07-Feb-25 23:17:26

CrazyH it's hard to lose a friend isn't it. flowers

Lilyflower Fri 07-Feb-25 22:45:45

The DH and I are very tidy and put things away as we go. We both love a clean, elegant house and have nice things which we look after well.

That said, I use a bit of housework in the morning as part of my fitness regime (‘indoor steps’ on the Fitbit) but also have machines to help such as a Eufy and a Karcher hard floor cleaner.

When the jobs are done then the rest of the day is ours to enjoy ourselves.

crazyH Fri 07-Feb-25 22:22:43

I cannot believe I have sat down all day today, doing absolutely nothing 😫- I lost a dear friend a few days ago. Since then, I’ve been just moping around. I’m not a great home maker anyway. But I have to get a few things done tomorrow.

petra Fri 07-Feb-25 22:21:20

lixy

M0nica

Just in case anyone here is not feeling inadequate enough. here is the link to a site that appeared on my computer this morning
lifehacker.com/checklist-of-everything-you-are-forgetting-to-clean?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-gb

I do hope you all disinfect (not sanitise or clean) all your light switches and door knobs, clean under your coffee tables and chairs and clean all your light fittings.

Oh goodness MOnica, now I feel really boring! I do all the things on that list when I Spring clean, and disinfect touch points weekly - a hangover from working with small children who carry a multitude of germs on their hands.

I loved the advice on not to forget to wipe the outside of the toilet. How can you forget that 🤔
And in the kitchen. Move and clean under your kitchen appliances.
They really are trying to teach their grandmothers how to suck eggs.

Romola Fri 07-Feb-25 22:07:28

I would hope that people who come to our house feel welcome and relaxed. I don't think everything has to be tidy or perfectly clean, but there must be warm and comfortable seating without the space feeling crowded. The furniture doesn't have to be pristine, in fact a bit of shabby is okay. I like to have things around that are interesting or beautiful and have memories. For instance, FiL was a really talented water-colourist and his paintings give such pleasure. Also, things don't all have to match, but the colours must blend.
There are things in this room which I really don't like, but can't be bothered to change e.g. the laminate floor and the fake Georgian cornice, wrong for a house which is a bit 80s art deco. Should have got rid of them years ago. Too late now.

M0nica Fri 07-Feb-25 20:47:11

I think the art of a clean house is to have a tidy house. It gives an impression of cleanliness, even when it isn't (within limits). An untidy house always looks dirty and unkempt, no matter how clean it really is.

AuntieE Fri 07-Feb-25 19:36:55

I find housework relaxing and enjoyable.
I tend to stick to a routine, but can defer a task a couple of days, if I either don't feel like doing it, or if something crops up.

jocork Fri 07-Feb-25 19:10:56

Deedaa

I do have some nice things round the house but they are rarely seen at their best because I loathe housework. Cooking is fine, I enjoy cooking, although even that is beginning to pall after so many decades doing it. My daughter once bought me a fridge magnet that said "A mind is a terrible thing to waste on housework" and I have to agree.

I have a fridge magnet which says 'An immaculate home is a sign of a wasted life!' My husband said it was just an excuse. He's now my ex husband!

My house is a mess and I need to do some cleaning this week as DS, DiL and GC are coming next week. They are used to it being a tip but last visit it was particularly bad as I'd been ill so need to make a bit of effort this time.

lixy Fri 07-Feb-25 19:09:58

M0nica

Just in case anyone here is not feeling inadequate enough. here is the link to a site that appeared on my computer this morning
lifehacker.com/checklist-of-everything-you-are-forgetting-to-clean?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-gb

I do hope you all disinfect (not sanitise or clean) all your light switches and door knobs, clean under your coffee tables and chairs and clean all your light fittings.

Oh goodness MOnica, now I feel really boring! I do all the things on that list when I Spring clean, and disinfect touch points weekly - a hangover from working with small children who carry a multitude of germs on their hands.

Cateq Fri 07-Feb-25 18:26:42

I grew up living mostly in my grans house that was kept very clean and tidy. She had a routine that was followed every week. The living room and bedrooms were dusted daily the floors hoovered and mopped as well. Her bathroom and kitchen were wiped down after every use. Her windows were washed inside and out every Friday along with the window ledges and front door step scrubbed. Her brass candlesticks and other brass items cleaned with brasso on a Saturday morning. Some of these jobs were done by my mum and aunt, following the death of both I took over the windows and door steps. Needless to say once I had my own house I followed some of her routine and now 40+ years I’m still doing it, but with lots of modern technology. I have 2 robot hoovers one is kept upstairs and the other downstairs. A window vac makes short work of streak free windows. I also got rid of a lot of clutter so dusting is completed quickly. Whilst my home may not look like a castle to others it does to me.

NotSpaghetti Fri 07-Feb-25 17:01:53

Apologies, the message (above) was replying to suelld

NotSpaghetti Fri 07-Feb-25 17:01:07

Ha ha! I can't let them go into my studio or bedroom - or study!

Yes, it's definitely a "nice home" and some areas (the downstairs loo for example) are really lovely - however my mess and chaos is on another scale!

My work takes over two rooms - one is my studio and the other is basically "overspill".

I would^like^everywhere to be beautiful!

mae13 Fri 07-Feb-25 16:54:39

Please resist flicking through those back copies of Homes & Gardens in the dentist waiting room, with glossy, fantasy homes, kitchens as big as a ballroom, chandeliers in the bathroom, etc, etc.
They're an ostentatious fiction cobbled together by a regiment of stylists, calculated to make us feel inadequate enough to part with our cash for a kitchen remake we probably don't need - or want.

petra Fri 07-Feb-25 16:50:51

Why is it assumed that people with tidy clean homes have nothing else going on in their lives?
From my own, and my friends experiences it’s just not true.

suelld Fri 07-Feb-25 16:48:46

NotSpaghetti

I hate cleaning.
I've bought robot vacuums and it seems to make things look way better to have that vacuuming done early morning.

I'm fussy about sparking crockery and cuttlery and the kitchen table. I like a clean bathroom/toilet but I'm really untidy.
I used to think it was the children that made all the chaos but as they left home one by one the mess didn't diminish!

Unlike you, however I also love "home things" of beauty. I like a few beautiful pieces (a painting, a lamp, a chair, a kettle) and am very fussy about colours. I will spend a long time (way too long) on details but they do give me lots of joy. I try out numerous colours on A3 or larger sheets before I decorate and take pride in finding just the right colours for me.

In terms of "household things", carpets etc, if I can't afford what I really fancy I can happily live in a half-done space till I find something very similar or at least as lush.

One of my good friends is hopeless at making things look lovely - however I love her for who she is, not for her home! It's quite irrelevant if it doesn't make you happy!

A robot hoover would be spinning in a circle in my room … no space to get going!
In my defence I work from home and am surrounded by piles of ‘things’ necessary for my job!
Sounds as if you are really one of the ‘nice’ home brigade ?

suelld Fri 07-Feb-25 16:43:07

Betty18

Oh my goodness this is so refreshing to hear. I am a home body but I tend to nest. So I’m surrounded by stuff that I need/want. But I’m in a mess. My compromise is that my toilet is always clean and I try in the bathroom and kitchen. Other than that I just don’t care lol

Hooray Betty18. Ditto!

suelld Fri 07-Feb-25 16:40:50

Thepanaramawoman

I’m a very poor homemaker.
Never had a house that looked that nice and sometimes felt embarrassed when people came.
I’m tidy ish and clean ish if having guests. I hate housework and cleaning and haven’t much interest in home decor. As long as things are functional that’s about as much as I can do.
In the past I’ve wished I was but it’s just the way I am and I’m learning to accept it.
I admire people who love home making but I have other interests that I put a lot of effort in to.
Are there any other gransnetters who aren’t too bothered about home making and/or aren’t very good at it?

Oh ditto …there’s so much more to life than having a neat and tidy home. I’ve often wished mine would be ( so do my sons!) but it’s never going to happen and at 80 next year I no longer have the energies to do what I used to. So people accept me as I am …or not! And if they don’t it’s no great loss. I’m relatively happy as I am … if I had help it might be a LITTLE tidier, but that costs money and disruption… so keep to being YOU. I DO!

Delila Fri 07-Feb-25 16:35:16

I agree that homemaking and cleaning are two different things.

GrauntyHelen Fri 07-Feb-25 16:31:25

I run a home not a show house I've better things to do than clean I'm fortunate to be able to have a cleaner though so it is clean

4allweknow Fri 07-Feb-25 15:11:32

I hate that you can spend ages cleaning, a fortune on decor and furnishing then you turn round and every thing needs cleaned again or is out of fashion. I like comfort. My cleaning concentrates on kitchen and bathrooms. Everywhere else gets done when I feel guilty.

M0nica Fri 07-Feb-25 15:08:55

Actually the best bit was the comment posted on th site yesterday by a reader

Could this be made into a pictograph pdf? I would love to put this around the house so my kids can learn how to clean thoroughly.

I just tried to imagine even trying this one on my children when they were small.

M0nica Fri 07-Feb-25 15:07:19

Just in case anyone here is not feeling inadequate enough. here is the link to a site that appeared on my computer this morning
lifehacker.com/checklist-of-everything-you-are-forgetting-to-clean?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-gb

I do hope you all disinfect (not sanitise or clean) all your light switches and door knobs, clean under your coffee tables and chairs and clean all your light fittings.