Bad homemaker

Allira

Casdon

That doesn’t sound like a tip to me Norah, it sounds like a nice, normal home when there are dogs and children about. I think a tip is a house where there are piles of stuff everywhere, unsorted and often on the floor or over sofas and tables, and where it looks a bit grubby, with un dusted surfaces or dirty floors - one where it looks like the owner has given up the fight.

That's mine at the moment, Casdon and Norah! Piles of stuff and dust everywhere but all in the name of home improvements.
However, I've got to the point of having had more than enough now.

Home improvements cause so much disruption don’t they, but it’s so nice when they are done, and you sit back and admire the end result, knowing every cupboard is sorted, and it is how you want it - the only problem being it makes you want all the rest done too.

For many years, I was a poor housekeeper but I didn't find the disorganization and messiness freeing at all. Everything that needed to be done would nag at me in the back of my mind and then I'd have times when I had to do horrible marathon cleanings because out of town company was coming or whatever. It was just depressing to me, really.

I think I am just not naturally a very disciplined or organized person and didn't know how to get into a routine and stay on one, without it seeming like slow torture and being intolerable for very long.

What finally helped me were programs, mainly "Flylady" (you can find it online and it's free). She just basically tells you what to do every day and keeps the assigned jobs moving around the house day by day so it all eventually gets and stays pretty well done. If you miss a day, you're supposed to just start with whatever day it is right then, so you can't get behind. Just following her about 1/4 of the time made a huge difference for me. I also like the Marie Kondo stuff.

Also, once years ago I went with a friend while she did a housecleaning job. It was a large house, two stories, four bedrooms, 2.5 baths. And she had it all sparkling in only two hours. That always stuck with me, how little effort it takes to clean an empty house. Otherwise, I'd expect that job to take four or five times that long. Of course my house isn't empty but I keep it de-cluttered, which cuts the cleaning time way down.

I like having a clean and organized house all the time, not only once in a while, BUT with minimal time and effort. Paying a cleaner wouldn't be enough for me because there's so much that's not included in their typical routine cleanings. I also don't like the idea of unnecessary strangers in my house.

Anyway, it took me decades to get it down but now my house is clean and organized. I actually find it less work to keep it that way than it was to "put out fires" and/or have huge cleaning jobs hanging over my head, not to mention not fully enjoying my home or wanting anyone to come over a lot of the time. Of course it helps to be retired now, with a smaller home and kids grown and gone but maybe not as much as you'd think.

So if anyone wishes they were a better housekeeper, I'd just say there is hope! I'd try Flylady. She's a bit weird but to me it's funny and she keeps it rather entertaining. Like she'll post a long letter scolding us all about not listening to her lol. I just ignore the religious stuff on her site and it's all good.

Casdon

That doesn’t sound like a tip to me Norah, it sounds like a nice, normal home when there are dogs and children about. I think a tip is a house where there are piles of stuff everywhere, unsorted and often on the floor or over sofas and tables, and where it looks a bit grubby, with un dusted surfaces or dirty floors - one where it looks like the owner has given up the fight.

That's mine at the moment, Casdon and Norah! Piles of stuff and dust everywhere but all in the name of home improvements.
However, I've got to the point of having had more than enough now.

That doesn’t sound like a tip to me Norah, it sounds like a nice, normal home when there are dogs and children about. I think a tip is a house where there are piles of stuff everywhere, unsorted and often on the floor or over sofas and tables, and where it looks a bit grubby, with un dusted surfaces or dirty floors - one where it looks like the owner has given up the fight.

Allira

I must say my house is a tip at the moment (for good reason) and to me mess = stress, although I'm not obsessionally tidy.

Our home is a tip many times over a week.

White dog hair flying about. Small children, though they eat at kitchen islands and have a play room, are just messy creatures.

Yesterday baby was sat on the floor feeding brotchen bits to dog, other children were tearing brochen to shapes for baby. Crumbs across a tidy floor. We'd not have it any other way.

I must say my house is a tip at the moment (for good reason) and to me mess = stress, although I'm not obsessionally tidy.

I think the reason this thread is all about cleaning is because the OP equated homemaking with having a clean tidy house, so all posters discussed this and din't really notic ethe word used at the start of the OP.

On the subject of home making as defined bt Romola, I am going to be really offensive and brag. Our house is for sale at the moment and a young couple viewing yesterday kept saying that they loved how we had made our home feel so comfortable. My response was that there is nothing to beat a big squashy sofa, in front of a wood burning stove on a cold day to give that impression.

Romola

Is home-making only about how clean and tidy the home is? Nearly everyone who has posted has talked about their attitude to cleaning. Making sure a home is clean and tidy enough gets you to the starting post, but that's not home-making as I understand it.
I think a welcoming and comfortable place with visual appeal is equally important.

Agreed.

We've dogs that shed copious quantity of white hair, hoovering daily is a necessity. Small children come round most days as well, adding to the hoovering! Additionally I can't get on well in clutter - tidy is essential.

Well said, Romola.

Is home-making only about how clean and tidy the home is? Nearly everyone who has posted has talked about their attitude to cleaning. Making sure a home is clean and tidy enough gets you to the starting post, but that's not home-making as I understand it.
I think a welcoming and comfortable place with visual appeal is equally important.

Esmay

Despite the clutter - I clean my loos daily (more often if not nice ) and vacuum most days!
Most of my clutter is in clear plastic boxes ,but there are far too many of them !

...........vacuum most days? Ah, the joys of a tidy house, I vacuum every few weeks.

Despite the clutter - I clean my loos daily (more often if not nice ) and vacuum most days!
Most of my clutter is in clear plastic boxes ,but there are far too many of them !

NonGrannyMoll

Resist impulse-buying for a while, save the money in a jar and, when you've got enough, pay someone to come in and do a one-off clean. I got my oven cleaned that way last month - worth all the lost doughnuts, take-aways and impulse-buys, none of which I really needed!

I do ‘save the change’ with my current account, it’s amazing how quickly it mounts up, and like you NGM I use the ££s to pay someone to do those jobs I hate, the oven being top of the list!

valdali

M0nica

I think the art of a clean house is to have a tidy house. It gives an impression of cleanliness, even when it isn't (within limits). An untidy house always looks dirty and unkempt, no matter how clean it really is.

I hope this is true. I'm quite good at " a place for everything & everything in its place" but I procrastinate terribly with cleaning.
I dislike cooking too, but I enjoy good food & eating healthily & responsibly, so I discipline myself to do this. But cleaning windows / dusting upstairs? Like having teeth pulled.

Two minds and a shared attitude to living. I echo your attitude to food and cooking. I cook because I really enjoy food, not because I enjoy cooking.

Its like I garden because I hate a weed infested untidy garden more than I dislike gardening.

As the daughter of a hoarder , who has clutter on every surface . Sitting on the sofa means clearing it of magazines and papers . Ditto eating at the table . I am a bit of a neat freak . I hate clutter and ornaments etc and everything has its place . And I always put things back when I’ve finished with them . My house is neat and tidy but with a dog it’s not spotless and he moults big time . I run the robot hoover every day. Mop the floors once a week, and clean the loos and bathrooms weekly . I dust roughly every fortnight .
We have extended our house and have a big open plan kitchen , dining , living area and I always maker sure it’s tidy before I go to bed . I hate coming down to a mess .

I grew up in an immaculate home, which didn't look lived in.
I wasn't allowed to make a mess.
It was clinical.
My mother used to throw my things out!

I've kept a neat and tidy home for years and not enjoyed it .
Now I've got other things to do with my precious time .
Having written that ,I'm having a massive clear out -only because I don't have enough room to do my art work and I can't find anything !
My house is stuffed to the gills .
I've thrown out a lot of books -not wanted by charity shops where I live. I've given many books away to anyone ,who expressed an interest.
I've also sent lots of clothes ,shoes and boots to a new charity shop.
And today,having given many sewing patterns to a sewing friend -it's another lot.
Knitting wool and patterns have gone to the church and no thank you I really don't want to knit squares for blankets.I've made them before and they don't wash well because the wools are different.

Since January 1st -no more charity shop browsing for me!
I just can't resist a charity shop bargain.
Maybe,just maybe I'll be able to keep the house looking tidier.

M0nica

I think the art of a clean house is to have a tidy house. It gives an impression of cleanliness, even when it isn't (within limits). An untidy house always looks dirty and unkempt, no matter how clean it really is.

I hope this is true. I'm quite good at " a place for everything & everything in its place" but I procrastinate terribly with cleaning.
I dislike cooking too, but I enjoy good food & eating healthily & responsibly, so I discipline myself to do this. But cleaning windows / dusting upstairs? Like having teeth pulled.

Resist impulse-buying for a while, save the money in a jar and, when you've got enough, pay someone to come in and do a one-off clean. I got my oven cleaned that way last month - worth all the lost doughnuts, take-aways and impulse-buys, none of which I really needed!

As long as you are content that's all that matters. I am a widow, live alone do as little housework as possible, there were five of us when the children were at home, so I've done my whack of cleaning, washing and ironing. I had a friend who got up at 5.30 a.m. cleaned the house from top to bottom until 11.00a.m.every day except Sunday. Fat lot of good it did, she's now got Parkinson's and osteoarthritis, confined to barracks and has carers four times at day.

Sadgrandma

I’ve always thought that if my house is clean enough to be hygienic and untidy enough to looked lived it. It’s OK

You and me both!

My cooker is a fixture as well. We have a long narrow kitchen and the range cooker is across the end, even when I pull it out, I still need to climb over it and the adjacent worktop to get to the space it occupied to clean behind it. I do not think I have pulled out since it was installed in 2014.

petra

lixy

M0nica

Just in case anyone here is not feeling inadequate enough. here is the link to a site that appeared on my computer this morning
lifehacker.com/checklist-of-everything-you-are-forgetting-to-clean?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-gb

I do hope you all disinfect (not sanitise or clean) all your light switches and door knobs, clean under your coffee tables and chairs and clean all your light fittings.

Oh goodness MOnica, now I feel really boring! I do all the things on that list when I Spring clean, and disinfect touch points weekly - a hangover from working with small children who carry a multitude of germs on their hands.

I loved the advice on not to forget to wipe the outside of the toilet. How can you forget that 🤔
And in the kitchen. Move and clean under your kitchen appliances.
They really are trying to teach their grandmothers how to suck eggs.

And in the kitchen. Move and clean under your kitchen appliances.

We could move the washing machine at one time but no longer, alas. As for the dishwasher, forget it.

Aldom

CrazyH it's hard to lose a friend isn't it.

It is really hard. My best friend of 70 years standing, has just died and, although she lived miles away and I didn’t see her much, we were very close. We emailed and phoned regularly and I miss her so much. She was 77 and had COPD, so I suppose it was understood that she wouldn’t live to a very old age but it was still a shock. I have known her since we were 7 years old.
As friends fade away, as mine have, it makes you aware of your own mortality. It’s sad, and frightening.
I have cancer, so it won’t be a very old age for me either. I am making the most of the life I have left, as much as my ill health allows me to.

Franbern

When my children were small,, housework was very low on my agenda. Okay, I tried to keep things like toilets etc clean, but dusting and hoovering, etc were not a real priority,
When I was nursing my twins, and had three others under 6 years old, I can remember saying that the dust will be there when the children are grown up, but these vital, wonderful early years, can never be repeated.

Strangely enough, my children were very rarely unwell. Suppose their immune systems were properly tested and expanded on a daily basis. They had their 'peck of dirt'.
Others, from their impeccable clean and tidy homes, got colds, coughs, etc. Mine just sailed through it all. Clean clothes they had - bless that overworked washing machine, and good, made from scratch meals (mainly because these were cheaper than any other kind).

But, they had my time, to read books, do messy play, outdoors somewhere every day where they could run wild and explore nature. Did it really matter if we came back home to untidy bedrooms?

Now, in my eighties, I live by myself. My lovely flat is my pride and joy - and is always clean and tidy and neat. My children all in their 50's now are fortunately, still healthy and all in good careers and their own family homes.

Different time, different me.

Funny you should say about your children rarely being unwell. When mine were small, I was very house-proud. I had it in my head that if I didn’t keep the home spotlessly clean, it would make the children ill. Well, for all my efforts, my kids had tummy bug after tummy bug. When one of them had a really violent one where she vomited constantly all day and got very dehydrated, I called the doctor in. He said that it was all my fault because she had no resistance to germs as I kept the house so clean. I was furious at the time and retorted, ‘I suppose you’d like me to send her out in the garden to eat worms!’ The doc replied that she would be better off doing that than suffering my cleanliness routine!
I eased up on the cleaning, and sure enough, the tummy bugs eased off considerably.
Funnily enough, my daughter (now married with children of her own) has a very laidback attitude to housework, and my grandchildren are seldom ill!

Your home is your home. I would much prefer to visit you than someone who lives in a sterile show home.