Moving/downsizing

I would stay put for all the good reasons mentioned here. X

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I agree about a stairlift. M0nica
My inlaws' final house was a 3 bed 1960s semi on an established, leafy estate which still had a great view over fields to the hills.
The garden was small but very well stocked with apple trees and shrubs around a lawn so easycare but eventually even that needed some help.

There was a downstairs loo but they preferred to go upstairs to bed and so installed a stairlift. He needed it. She refused to use it. When they died in their late 90s, their DC sold the house very quickly but sold the lift separately.

Having now found time to read your original post in detail I can tell you, Dotz50 that in your situation. I think you would be mad to downsize. It would completely dismember and destroy your family life and social life based on older family, who need you nearby.

Downsizing is sonething you do when life circumstances change and staying in your current home becomes untenable. We are moving and own sizing on our 80s because our house has a large garden that I now need paid help to manage, DH has been seriously ill and is now much less able and circumstances mean our children live between 100-200 miles away. So we are now looking for a house with only a small garden, closer to our children. This means that we are moving somewhere more suited to our changed currant and future requirements. The move is a positive move and we look forward to it.

You cannot say that about your move as you frame it. As for worrying about young families, there are also more old people who need to downsize than suitable homes and while if you move a family could move in to your house, if you do not move some older people who desperately need a flat or bungalow will be left struggling in unsuitable accommodation.

As for the knees and stairs problem. The answer is simple - a stair lift - and if you are on a low income the council will fit that for free.

If flats or semi detached dwellings were built with humans in mind there would be adequate soundproofing to floors walls and ceilings as well as double or triple glazing where appropriate.

But that costs time and more money and means some care and thought for the prospective lives of those who will inhabit these homes.

In the absence of insulation perhaps some governance criteria regarding who can live in them such as families, over forties, over sixties.

Dogs only if well behaved and with access to an outdoor space, properly cared for not neglected or causing a nuisance or fear to others.

Two people are bound to create more noise than one and so on.

People rarely take kindly to being asked to be quiet in their homes.

I wouldn't move for so many reasons considering your family circumstances.
I would most definitely not move into a flat. Years ago I lived in a couple of flats over a period of time and the noise was horrendous coming from all sides, never never again would I do that.
Son had the same problem in his flat, beautiful flat great layout overlooked the river. The huge downside was a family above him who had children and the noise of them running around was terrible. The polite visit of him to explain about this was the door shut in his face.

I want to point out that as long as a tenant is paying the rent on a “council property” they are doing nothing wrong.

Many people do confuse the issue of “the bedroom tax” which only applies if you are receiving housing benefits, and to avoid this “tax” tenants might be urged to downsize to a one bedroom or as appropriate for their needs.

Also it might not apply at all over pension age and possibly some other particular circumstances.

Many people do work, pay the full rent on their council/similar housing but do not wish to buy them.

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I’m surprised you’re still in a 3 bed, I thought social housing were hot on under occupation?
I’d start looking for the future as you don’t have to make a decision now and may have sorted your thoughts more.

Sorry I cannot read it as there are no paragraphs.

I would stay put, but it's not my dilemma.

50 is a bit young to downsize. We waited until we were 80.

I would be inclined to stay put too. Wait until you really know what you want to do/ where you want to go. Presumably there isn’t a rush.

I admire your social conscience but you’re only 50 and life can throw a lot of curve balls, so frankly, if you can afford it, I’d stay put for a few more years.

All of your alternatives are ok, but none of them is so ideal that you are saying “That’s the one”.
When in doubt, don’t?

Heaven forbid any of your children or grandchildren should need accommodation with you, but you never know and there seem to be two of you living there at the moment so it’s hardly too big a house for you.

The flat is nice it’s like a semi detached house with two flats on bottom and two on top, needs a bit of work but that’s ok it’s just a lot smaller with not a lot of storage and I have a lot of stuff so will have to go through the whole declutter and clear out process which I find difficult anyway but will have to be done whatever I chose. Maybe I should view the flat again gosh I feel so hopeless and annoyed with myself that my brain just won’t shut up

I would be loathe to move away if you are used to being near relatives. I'd love to live near people I know/family. I think I'd try to check out the neighbourhood on the flat or the 2 bed house.
The bungalow sounds lovely, I moved to a lovely new bungalow 3 years ago, I love it but its surrounded by houses mostly young working couples and no one seems to speak to anyone.

Your dodgy knees won't get any better without an op (2ops?) which is difficult if you're supporting 2 older relatives

What about the flat? And leave Grumpy behind!