NotSpaghetti
And us, Allira
It brings new meaning to the terms U and non-U.
I suppose now it means University or non-University.
As many of us do - I still check out properties for sale - even though I bought my current one a few years back and have no intention of moving.
When I bought mine (ie a 1970s bungalow) I had darn nearly everything ripped out. It really needed work - and all that's left is I kept the windows (as they were upvc), kept the internal doors and most of the skirting boards. Everything else got ripped out from both the house itself and garden.
Mine really needed it - poorly-planned 1980s kitchen, tatty 1970s bathroom, etc. All that - despite the fact there's been two owners in between the first owner and myself and the last owner did buy it this century.
Anyways - at long last it's done now - new kitchen, new bathroom, new floor coverings throughout, garden gutted and turned into my style, new decor throughout (had to be replastered before that could be done), all exterior doors changed, etc.
I still struggle with just why, in particular, the house still had a 1970s bathroom - despite those owners no 2 and no 3 since then and it was one that didn't even work well (high bath, trickling little shower, 1970s wall fire!!).
Since then - I've seen someone I used to know sell her house here and buy a 1960s bungalow here and do absolutely nothing to it (not even changing the 1970s carpets and having it decorated) - despite the fact she would have had quite a bit of leftover money from selling her last house. Me - I was walking through her "new to her" house when she moved in enthusiastically making suggestions for what a new kitchen/new bathroom could be like (yep...the house needed that) and defo taking it for granted she'd change the old 1970s/1980s carpets throughout and decorate at least (it needed it).
I was also very surprised to see that a neighbour bought an adjacent house and she would have had quite a bit of money over from her (noticeably dearer) last house and yet all she's had done was there was a painter in for a couple of days and so I think she's probably just had one or two rooms painted. She didn't even bring her own furniture with her when she moved - and is just using the previous owners furniture.
Looking at houses for sale (specifically bungalows - as that's what I bought - and I'm seeing 1980s or maybe even 1970s kitchen after kitchen/bathroom after bathroom. 1970s/1980s carpets). Cue for me thinking "It's obviously a probate house - and nothing much looks like it's been done since the 1970s/1980s. Have they had that house for 40-50 years personally that they don't seem to have done anything much to it? But it appears they must have bought it more recently than that and that means they're living with stuff from a previous owner a couple of buyers ago by the look of it?
That puzzles me personally - ie to move into a house that's basically not been touched for 40-50 years and do nothing at all (even though some of them will certainly have the money to do so). I would understand if they didn't have the money to do the work - but it often looks as if they did.
Very puzzling to use someone else's old furniture - I'd be wondering what the heck might have happened over the decades to the sofa I wanted to sit on and could be "harbouring" all seats of spills/dog hairs/etc.
Thankfully I have got the renovation work on this house finished before feeling I'd run out of energy to chase the "manana and unreliable" workmen this area seems to specialise in.....and so I can 'put my feet up' and just keep it up from here onwards.
The thing that surprised me most with my own current house is that owners no. 2 and no. 3 had obviously both kept the tatty old Rayburn, hybrid central heating set-up and oil tank in the garden that owner no. 1 wanted. I came in and thought "I wouldnt even know how to work that stuff" and out it came and I've got a normal gas central heating system and the Rayburn got taken out.
Certainly what puzzles me most is even living with a previous owners furniture....but I see it happening...
NotSpaghetti
And us, Allira
It brings new meaning to the terms U and non-U.
I suppose now it means University or non-University.
Allira
NotSpaghetti
And us, Allira
It brings new meaning to the terms U and non-U.
I suppose now it means University or non-University.
Or non-U-university? 
Seriously (this thread is in danger of turning unkind), the question of whether people are happy to live with other peoples' choices for years is an interesting one, although it was presented in a judgmental manner.
Every time we've bought a house (admittedly only 3 in 45 years) I've promised myself we would change this and alter that, but we very quickly get used to working around things. In the case of the first two houses we got round to it as we were about to sell, and this one when we decided to do future proof things before inflation made it even more expensive than it was. In our younger days that was because we were busy doing other things, and as time went by it felt like too much effort.
I don't care if things have been previously owned. I happily shop on eBay and in charity shops, and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone had used a bath before me. How do people who care about that get on in hotels?
I like the house to look good, but not necessarily 'fashionable', and I refuse to buy into the Instagram - 'what's out in 2025' mentality that encourages unnecessary waste.
😁
Doodledog The hassle of ripping things out is not for everyone, and it can't take too much imagination to realise that, though. Judging people for not having the energy, budget or inclination to do it shows a lack of empathy and understanding that people are all different.
This.
We've no intention to rip out that which my grandparents, it's all still fine. We're added, extended, done electrics and plumbing.
I don't think kitchens are necessarily stylish, ours is old, solid wood with 2 islands and a diner, suits us, will see us out. Why the expense of a new kitchen? I'm not judging, just quite curious.
I don't think kitchens are necessarily stylish, ours is old, solid wood with 2 islands and a diner, suits us, will see us out. Why the expense of a new kitchen? I'm not judging, just quite curious.
We did, or rather DH persuaded me, so that we have large drawers instead of scrabbling round in the backs of cupboards for a lost item. It's going to be much easier when I've remembered where I've put everything!
Whatever education I received over 60 years ago are hardly relevant. Good Lord, talk about being stuck in the past.
No other education ( or more importantly life experience) since then?🙄🤔😬
I found that out when I was on a "mother of the groom" outfit with another Southern English person and we were struggling to find something "plain" enough for our taste. We hadn't realised it would be a problem to find an outfit that said "Good quality.....parent of one of the couple.....tasteful.......pretty plain" as we scrolled past COLOUR, sparkling, etc......
I've only been mother of the groom once and wore a rather bright jacket 😯u
However, I never heard it speak, thank goodness.
But then, I'm from the Midlands, not a Southern English person so I'm probably common as muck.
I’m a ‘southern English person’ and mother of the groom later this year, my dress is bright,multicoloured pink and turquoise, I obviously missed a lot of memo’s.
I rather think the late Queen Elizabeth was very fond of bright colours.
🤔
Jaxjacky
I’m a ‘southern English person’ and mother of the groom later this year, my dress is bright,multicoloured pink and turquoise, I obviously missed a lot of memo’s.
😯
It sounds lovely!
Lathyrus3
I rather think the late Queen Elizabeth was very fond of bright colours.
🤔
So she stood out in the crowd 😁
She'd probably have preferred a muted tartan skirt, tweed jacket and a headscarf.
I think it looks lovely.
Thank you. The grooms were in matching grey suits so it would have been a bit drab if I’d been in beige😬
I lived in an 1840’s cottage which had very few modern conveniences other than a shower and a built in wardrobe.
The windows were tiny and the stone walls 2ft thick which meant it was cool in summer and warm in winter. It had a very old oil fired Rayburn in the kitchen which was damaged and rusty in places but it kept the whole house so warm and cosy that we had constant hot water and rarely needed to light the wood burner in the lounge even on the coldest of days. Although the old Rayburn couldn’t be regulated like a modern oven it cooked the most amazing roasts, casseroles, bread etc. and I would never have ripped it out for anything more modern and pristine.
Sadly we had to leave it after my husband was diagnosed with osteoporosis and we couldn’t risk him falling on the stairs and breaking bones so we moved to be nearer facilities in town. We moved to an apartment with all mod cons and have learned to adapt to our new pristine surroundings.
The moral of my story is that we loved living in our old cottage and it really felt like the cottage loved us back. Living in an apartment may be safer and easier now we are in our 80’s but modernisation doesn’t necessarily bring happiness.
Each to their own.
This thread makes me think of friends of mine, who, in their mid-sixties, are very elderly in their mindset and their home reflects this. They both had older parents and it shows because their decorating ideas are of an older generation. It is like walking into my grandparents' house in many ways. They do update the decoration when it looks tired but with an older style. When they replaced the carpets, they had a plain colour but with big swirls in it. Their living room furniture is the upright variety with wooden arms and legs. There are antimacassars and arm covers on them, too. The downstairs was recently redecorated with anaglypta wallpaper - l didn't know you could still get it until then - and the lounge area was painted a startlingly bright yellow and the dining room end was painted terracotta. It is one of those houses where you can either have one big room or close doors and have two separate rooms. They also prefer sheets and blankets to duvets and even had a candlewick bedspread in the spare room. However, this is what suits them and they are very happy with it. They are also very welcoming and the house is always clean and tidy so it matters not one jot. Anyway, taste is just that. I love my home and they love theirs as, l hope, applies to everyone, no matter how they have decorated it. Who is to say whose house is superior? The most important thing with a home is that the people who live there are happy with it and that it is welcoming to others.
Lathyrus3
Here’s my mother/mother-in-law of the grooms outfit.
Dead common, that’s us😬
Love those colours!
CariadAgain
NotSpaghetti
butterandjam - my mother-in-law moved into a "new to her" house at 95.
She rewired, redecorated, put in a new kitchen and bathroom, revamped the utility, took up the carpets in the hall and staircase and had the wood sanded and polished.. she had a new boiler, moved all the plugs and lights about, had new radiators downstairs, ripped everything out of the front garden (and reinvented it) and then had the back garden terraced!
Not everyone will sit tight in their 90s.Wow! I admire her for stamina....
Well - good for her for still having "life in the old gal" yet....though my own take on old age is more of an "update me" one than an "update house" one.
Part of why I got on with it - as fast as was possible with the tradesmen here that is......is I was thinking "I'm in my 60's (now early 70's) and so gotta get on with it or I won't have the use of a fully-finished (to me) house for very long at all at that age".
My plans personally have all been based around expecting to live until early 80's and having at least 10 years "wear out of" whatever I do to the house. I understand some people want and/or accept a long life - but I'm not one personally and will be likely to be "throwing something at the walls" and putting in an "official complaint in writing to the Almighty" if I hit an 85th birthday (sorta phrased along lines of "What on earth are you DOING keeping me on Planet Earth this long? You must be a sadist expecting me to stay here even longer....haven't I had enough yet?/can I escape now please...").
That's my personal take - and hence basically come my 80's I'll be thinking "No point in doing anything I can help to the house now? I'll keep it maintained and that's it....but I won't be doing anything new at this age/for such a short remaining lifespan."
Like I said - that's my personal take for myself only of "Living past average lifespan = NO thanks!" whilst I understand some people want to go on longer and a local woman I know said she's set herself a target of living to 100!!!!
So - I do think "Well - good for them" if someone decides to take off trekking across the Sahara on the back of a camel in their 80's (as someone told me about a person they met) or taking up some art or bookwriting or something they'd been waiting all their life to do. But my "OMG - I'm still alive (***!!***)" project would also be of a more personal nature - rather than a DIY nature.
CariadAgain - your post made me very angry, and quite upset me actually. In a nutshell, you don’t want to live past a certain age, and will not be happy if you do. I have terminal cancer and I am fighting to say alive. You, on the other hand, will be happy to die.
Well, good for you, and thanks for ruining my day.
Ignore it, please, Crossstitchfan, don't let it ruin your day.
It's just thoughtless rather than intentionally unkind, I think. But yes, it could touch a nerve with many people.
Crossstitchfan
I hope you are able to keep on living life for a good while yet.
Please don't let a (trivial) conversation about house refurbishment upset you.
I'm sure that nobody would want that.
It’s one of those throwaway remarks that people make when they are talking about something outside their experience- like terminal illness.
Today is yours to enjoy. I hope it’s a lovely one💐
Oh I love that! Its gorgeous.
Glad I’m not the only one that loves colour.
👚👗👠👛
I really like both dresses. À
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