move into a new home

Ive recently downsized from a 3 bedroom house to a 1 bedroom apartment. So i had to get rid of lots.
I dont miss my home of 40 yrs as it was a cold house but I do miss my garden and especially the wild life that would visit, now that can upset me, but I could no longer maintain it all and im much warmer and snug here, with shops/restaurants on my doorstep , so i try and be realistic and say ive done the right thing for my later years. But im pretty exhausted with move, so i certainly wont be moving ever again !!
I hope things get easier for you

Never mind moving home, I am constantly getting rid of stuff. I am not conscious of being a hoarder but there always seems to be something I'm not using or don't need. If I had to move I think I would relish the thought of having a proper clear out knowing what I could only take with me and what, with no question, I had to dispose of. Yes there would be moments of sadness but I'd becrealistic and accept I couldn't take everything with me.

What I miss, is not so much the house and garden. I am glad to have had an autumn and winter with little or no gardening. But I have lived in the county, various parts of it for nearly 60 years. Its landscape is in my DNA. There are groups that I have been a member of for nearly as long. I know where the first lark of spring will sing, where to find the first wild primroses (in my garden). I know where everywhere is, can find my way to almost any village, we had rituals and traditions tied round certain places. Every window in my house looked out into forest sized trees.

Do I miss it? Of course I do, I ache for it, BUT, as I said, the garden had become a burden, when DH had heart problems, both children had long difficult drives to reach out. They were wonderful, but it was exhausting. We now live within easy reach of them. DD drops in weekly, DS's journey to us has been halved.

Life is like that and we just have to grit our teeth and adjust. Give me another 50 years and I will know this county as much as I knew my previous county. But there is something about first love and those blue remembered hills.

We moved from long time family home in 2006 to townhouse. Big downsize of possessions, relatively easy, two of us and ages around 59

Next more from townhouse in Wales to somerset. in 2010 Two of us and again quite easy ages about 63

Widowed and next move, a sideways move and appropriate with buses, shops etc. 2019. My age now 71. I did all the packing, fixed the mirrors, furniture etc. By myself, obviously not easy but do-able for my ability

If AC a dd, the one living closest to me, decides to move back to Wales, then that will be my last move. Both dd will then be in Wales and so will I. I could well be between 80 and 85. That gives me time, to use up the stash that I have accumulated here. This time I would use a handyman to help me but I would still look forward to it, better than stagnating

I still wake at time sin the morning knowing that I dreamed I was back in the flat we sold in 2013.

In these dreams sometimes my sister, parents and husband are there too, or one or other of them is. These family members are actually all dead, now.

I am never sure if these dreams mean I am missing them, or our former home.

In my waking hours, I would not go back to that flat, even if I could.

I think it is quite usual to regret a home, or any other place, which you enjoyed being in.

I hope you find as time passes that you enjoy living in your present home.

Having recently lost my DH I am considering my future. Downsizing is probably the way forward both for practical and future financial purposes. Similarly to usedtobeblonde though I have a GD staying and a GS coming back and forth due to his relationship issues. This is making me anxious because I think if I don’t do it soon I’m going to end up with two permanent lodgers! As much as I adore them I need to make a decision for myself and for the right reasons! So much to think about, good for those who have already made the choice. So many decisions

What's interesting with the AI version is it doesn't sound like me at all! and it's now disappeared completely instead of what usually happens when a post is reported. Even odder!

I am sorry. Foxie I hadn't noticed. How weird is that.

How odd. Are we being used to train AI? Probably.

I see now , how odd.

Oh that’s odd! Is @abudhabicurtain offering an AI version of @foxie48? It’s not without errors…

I think I might notice if a settee went into the departure lounge but the turkey tin went unnoticed until Christmas eve!

Look at the post above it!

I like the idea of the "departure lounge" Abud
I have a room like that and am about to see if anyone out there would take an enormous settee which won't fit into my next house. I'm definitely downsizing.

Why was that post reported?

Abudhabicurtain reported

We'll downsize at some point. I'm dreading it as I love my house, have lots of friends locally and although it's far too big for the two of us it's a wonderful place to entertain and have people to stay. OH is sensibly getting shot of all the things we no longer need by moving them into an unused part of the house, which he calls "the departure lounge". If I don't notice they've gone or need them over a few months they are disposed of. It's both amusing and annoying but it's a sensible way of getting rid of stuff and tbh I'm glad he's taking the initiative. I think this move is often the most difficult one to make so huge sympathy if you're finding it tough initially.

My husband has said a few times recently that we should move to a bungalow following his major Stroke. I can’t even contemplate it! Our 4 bed house, double garage, summerhouse, massive loft, 3 sheds are FULL of stuff. I mean full. We have 3 vehicles, 5 bikes, 2 motorbikes.

I also love our house as it is very quiet with a suntrap garden and not overlooked but close to shops and bus stop (if needed) and GP surgery a mile away.

I hope he doesn’t mention it again. 😥

I have been staying with friends who downsized and moved far away. They have only been there a few months but have already made friends and joined several groups. They seem very happy and love their bungalow - I did too.

Those of you planning to do this don’t hesitate or leave it too long.
I did and regret it.
When my H died nearly 7 years ago now I was advised not to rush into making any decisions for a year or so.
5 months later my GD was homeless due to friction in her family so she moved in with me, two years later my S’s relationship broke down so he moved in also.
They are both still here , my GD is probably moving out this year but my S’s 16 year old has now moved in, he is autistic, a lovely gentle soul but unworldly, I think they will both be here for the long term, but as I am 88 that could be for the short term as the house will have to be sold and he won’t be able to afford to buy the others out.
If I had downsized when my H died I would be settled and financially much better off now.

I too will be facing this prospect over the next year or 2. And having lived in the same house for 45 years and the same town for 50÷, I know it will be difficult. I will prefer I think to move to a new area and put all the memories behind me rather than downsize in the same town.
I can sympathise with getting rid of stuff.
I think what you are feeling OP is to be expected. It is a big life change. But if you are feeling more depressed and not better soon then a trip to the GP could be warranted.

The advice to absorb yourself in a new project is good. The weather is a bit depressing anyway at the moment. Spring and lighter days soon.
If your move was necessary then it was necessary. Try and think of the benefits. Chin up.

I think a lot of people feel this in the early days of relocating. I have moved 6 times in 50 years, often stepping into the unknown in a completely different part of the country. I look back very fondly at some of the past houses.
I have found that throwing myself into a project at the new house helped, no matter how small.
You don’t say if you have a garden or outside space. Spring is on the way, a perfect time to plan a few pots of bulbs or pick a small area of garden to make your own.
Good luck, I hope as time passes you become happier in your new home.

I feel for you OP. I'm staring that position in the face myself. We are having to downsize and move because we have both given up driving and my DH has other health problems.
Stuff isn't always just stuff is it? We become attached to things over the years. So I think this sadness is very normal but will slowly pass as you build on the good things about your move.

candie5454

i was at my old home from 2014 until last year i miss it we had move cause house wasn't fit . i had give up a lot stuff i been having anxiety and depression is this normal feel this way.

Is it the stuff you are missing or the area or friends and neighbours your missing?
Unfortunately you were forced into a situation not of your choosing.
Only you can decide how you want this situation to pan out so first I would get an appointment with your Dr.

What is normal? I am not being facetious, but I think if you spoke to 20 different housemovers, you would get 20 different answers.

We moved last year because we wanted a smaller garden and to be nearer our children as we become older and less healthy. It means we had to get rid of a lot of our belongings and we are still tipping, donating and selling stuff.

We also had to move from one side of the country to another very different area. I had lived in our previous area for around 60 years and, yes, I miss it in so many ways. DH and I find our selves still talking about our house there and the area as 'home' and we miss it.

But we try to be realistic. DH has already come close to losing his driving licence. Not because of bad driving but because of the medical conditions he has. had he lost it, we lived in a rural area, life would have been difficult, for both of us. Now we live in a towncentre, with everythig we need within a couple of hundred yards.

I am not sure what you feel is 'normal' but certainly this is how downsizing does effect some people,