How much have your neighbours cost you?

We spent a couple of thousand putting up a fence to hide our neighbour who lives in a house like Steptoe's yard. They start improvements them stop half way leaving rubbish everywhere. They have 4 cars but cannot use their drive as there is a trailer in it and the garage door hangs off showing the mounds of rubbish in the garage . There are chairs in the drive but at least the fridge freezer has gone after some months. If we were to try and sell our house , which we might want to soon, it will take several thousands off the price. In a way we are lucky that we cannot see the mess from our house but my friend's house is on the other side of the road and she cannot help seeing it .

Before I moved a few years back my front garden was shared with my next door neighbour and was laid to lawn.
Said neighbour pressured me to have artificial grass down which I hate with passion!
I succumbed for the peaceful life (which never transpired) and handed over cash which seemed a lot for the pocket-handkerchief sized garden).
It was rubbish and looked hideous and I moved house.

Plevey08

Mine have cost me a lot in emotional stress. I live in a flat and next door they smoke weed. It comes into the Hallway and into my flat and stinks the block out. Miserable. She is abusive if you ask her to smoke weed outside. The smell goes upstairs and to flats above with her window open. I've spoken to the management company and they sent a letter to all residents to remind them it's illegal and not permitted. It had no impact, she's too off her head to have even read it.

Dearest bill to date - though potentially rather than paid in the event.

Don't know what part of the country you live in - but, even if it's one of the cheaper areas = it would cost over £100,000 to deal with that for sure (ie the cost of being able to buy a place - well I'm assuming you rent??). Though I may be wrong and it's yours - but you're thinking "Why should I be the one to move - when they are the one that's a problem?" That I can understand - as I knew my neighbours wanted me to move - and were doing their best to shove me out for some years after I moved here. But I'm stubborn and thought "1. Why should I - when they're the ones at fault? 2. I moved here in the first place because I couldnt afford the detached where I was - so where's their whip-round to cover the cost of me not losing anything from going back? Thought not....well I'll just wait them out then"....and that's what I did in the end and the two worst offenders left at around about when I'd calculated they would (ie to downsizing to a cheaper house they hadnt comprehensively neglected into a ruin in one case and to a carehome in the other case).

That was me sighing thinking - for the umpteenth time - "Must be the lesson for life Capricorns like me are supposed to learn - ie patience - because we have to wait and wait some more for years longer than anyone else seems to have to in order to get things".

Mine have cost me a lot in emotional stress. I live in a flat and next door they smoke weed. It comes into the Hallway and into my flat and stinks the block out. Miserable. She is abusive if you ask her to smoke weed outside. The smell goes upstairs and to flats above with her window open. I've spoken to the management company and they sent a letter to all residents to remind them it's illegal and not permitted. It had no impact, she's too off her head to have even read it.

Daisycuddles - yours is the largest direct cost to date then - £40,000 is a lot....

That housing association flat I had was a problem for noise coming down a sorta "chute" thing in between the different levels and I was quite surprised that it actually worked when I decided to send some noise back up the chute in response - didnt know Chinese music was hated so much by some. That worked and so I stopped playing the music. Though there was still a budgie that used to sit there and sing out its name at regular intervals (I didnt know budgies could be so loud) and their preferred time for using their washing machine seemed to be 7 a.m. of a Sunday morning for some reason and that noise came straight through too.

Music is the worst offender for noise travelling though and it was upsetting to help a friend to get the bedsit under mine in one of the grotty bedsit houses - only for her to turn round and play music loud and frequently coming up through her ceiling/my floor and straight into my bedsit. Errr...thanks.....I wouldnt have helped her have that bedsit if I'd known she was going to do that.

So I can understand if someone even had to move because of noise issues (well I did - as we know - right across country...though mine was more of a preventative measure....rather than a "deal with existing noise" measure). There is fundamental incompatibility if one neighbour wants loud music or tv or letting their kids shout and scream and the other one is more likely than not to have their head in a book quietly reading and needing their "peace and quiet" for that. Bookworm neighbour is no problem to the Noisy Ones - but noisy ones can sure be a problem to the person who is a bookworm and likes their early nights sometimes. I did wonder whether I should put up soundproofing on my terrace house - but decided it wasn't a feasible proposition and the house had too many other problems anyway (I like the style of some Victorian houses - but they do tend to be damp imo). At least my "boring box" I now have from the 1970s doesn't have any damp issues at all.

I owned a house for many years before I met my previous partner . I opted to keep the house when we got together . I rented it out but I strictly vetted the tenants and did regular checks . The neighbours had my number to report any problems. My joined on neighbour subsequently sold and that house became a rented property too. One tenant moved in my house and told me she was waiting for her housing benefit to be sorted out. It took months and when she got it it wasn’t the full amount and she owed me £600 . She assured me she would pay a bit extra each month to clear the arrears. The tenants next door did a moonlight and left the keys with my tenant . When the landlord came he offered my tenant his house which was a bit more modern with a garage . My tenant conned me into giving her a reference which was supposedly for a job . She left without giving notice and took my curtain rails etc. I also found out she had chopped down a beautiful mature laburnum tree . She told me the council told her to do it which wasn’t true! There was no point in chasing the money she owed me as she is on benefits . When my relationship ended I had to move out quickly and ended up eventually moving back to my house . My old tenant is still next door and tries to be friendly but seems to conveniently forget she owes me money . My neighbours on the other side are lovely and we take in parcels etc .

£5k in trying to sound proof the walls because of the noise ( not much difference) and the cost of moving as finally fed up with them (£35k) .

Our neighbours built a garage right on our boundary without planning consent or party wall agreement; council refused to do anything, it is such an eyesore that we had to plant a hedge to hide the nasty brickwork.
Not the neighbours, but planning authority reneged on their policy and allowed a house right behind us when their policy is bungalows back on to bungalows, just 18ft to windows where they stand looking straight into my lounge; the occupants then extended twice coming to 12ft from my door. Value of my home is £50K less than identical one around the corner.

eddiecat78

Someone bought the agricultural field next to us and now runs it as a dog walking business. We've spent £2000 on additional fencing to preserve our privacy and it has knocked about £50,000 off the value of our house.

Depends where you are, but dog walking business is a change of use requiring planning consent in lots of places (esp. UK) and is likely to be refused if retrospective

Really like my neighbours,friendly,we offer help to each other,we share a dram at Christmas, we laugh ,smile and complain about the government.

With you on that re noise.

One of the very few things I've got in common with my mother - we wonder why if there's noise there in our homes.

She got so fed-up when students moved in next door in a semi-detached house we were living in at the time - ie because they used to practice with drums - that she went out for one of her walks one time and came back and told my father that she'd just reserved a house in a road of detached houses that was in the process of being built and they were going to move. It was NOT funny being her daughter - as I was never ever allowed to do anything remotely noisy/even listen to the radio etc and of course being a teenager it was normal to expect to do so and I wanted to do so too.

After the two grotty bedsits, then housing association flat, then starter house (ie mid-terrace) and I'd had noise disturbance in the last three of those places = that's the main reason I moved to Wales actually. The fact I've always been single and poorly-paid meant I'd got to where it was long past time I had my detached house with garden and I'd just retired and still didn't have it and was scared how much longer I'd have to wait for it/would I ever get it!! So I scanned the whole country as to where I could move to and find sufficiently cheaper houseprices that I could turn my terrace house with a backyard into that detached house with garden. I paid a high price - in a variety of ways - in order to know I wasn't going to be disturbed by noise in my home (in that terrace house the neighbours alarm clock even used to wake me up too!!).

That is a problem - ie sensitive to noise doesn't necessarily mean having the money to buy the detached house that's obviously necessary to deal with that. So what DO you do then?

My neighbour was very "noise-sensitive". They were quite often banging on the walls (putting shelves up etc I guess) & as long as it wasn't unsociable hours, I accepted that, we are semi-detached & it comes with the territory.
But one day I was using an electric sander to sand down our paintwork at 2 pm & within 10 minutes she rang & asked what was that noise? I said I was sanding & wouldn't be long but she said it was disturbing her & if I continued, she would be forced to go out. So I explained that I needed to do it sometime, & wouldn't be more than 15 minutes, but that wasn't good enough .'I suppose I'll just have to go & visit someone then'.
There were a few things like this, guilt-tripping me for the slightest noise (alarm clock at 6.55 on a working day for eg - I even bought a vibrating wristband to try to stop her ringing & going on about it). I know noise is annoying, but if you know you're particularly sensitive to any noise, a semi is probably not a wise purchase.

GrammaH

I'm with Norah and *Gannet" - extremely fortunate not to have close neighbours. Our grandsons can play the drums and keyboard as loud as they like 2henever they like and nobody will complain - except our cats, they hate it! My closest friend has just had her closest neighbours of 30 odd years turn on her, they've always been OK but have suddenly decided to be unpleasant. It's really upset her, a recently widowed lady who wouldn't say boo to a goose. So glad we don't have any.

I wonder whether the clue there is "recently widowed" ?? I still swear that single women get treated worse as neighbours than couples or single men do - I'd be willing to lay bets on it - as so often the people on the receiving end of aggro are single or widowed women. It may not even be a conscious thing and I don't know why this has a tendency to happen - but it certainly does...and every feminist bone in my body rears straight up at the thought of being treated worse for being a single woman...but I've witnessed it happening too often not to notice it happening by now - both to myself and to other women on their own.

On a different tack - and at least I thought earlier "Hmmm.....my VERY local friend that fills me in on what's happening here etc has just arranged a course for exactly what she was advising me I should take a look at - ie to do with my health". I wonder if that's coincidence - and suspect it isn't and she's putting it on at least partly to be helpful to me with the health issue. Aw! aw! which is nice of her if that's the case. She tells me she's tough and hard - and probably wonders why I burst out laughing at her saying that - as that's the last thing she is....with her soft heart and general helpfulness all round.

An elderly relative had an awful neighbour who kept putting in complaints about relative making noise, bins left out too long etc. Relative had been doing okay and could have lived out her days there but she was so scared of the neighbour (and her threats to report her) that she had a fall and had to go into a care home which cost thousands.
However last laugh came to the family - they sold the property to someone who actually did make a lot of noise. Family got called by neighbour in a strop - not our problem any more missus.

Smileforawhile

CariadAgain what terrible neighbours you have. I don’t know how they dare walk onto your property and another try to steal your land. May I ask which part of the UK you live in? Mind you there are odd people everywhere. We have Plymouth Brethren on one side and they keep themselves to themselves, very quiet but also unfriendly. The family on the other side were very kind to us during Covid. They always asked us to any parties and celebrations they were having, and were very mindful of not playing their music too loud. We are very lucky. If we lived across the road…………. that would be another matter, one of the nosiest women I have ever come across live’s there causing people problems, she loves reporting people to the authorities for minor issues.

West Wales.

I wouldnt be bothered by Plymouth Brethren personally - I'd be thinking "At least they'll probably behave themselves all round". Mind you - I was in the other type of Brethren many years back now for a couple of years - so I'm passably familiar so to say. So that doesnt bother me.

Reporting is a nuisance and one of mine reported me to the police and cue for a couple of them coming round!!!!! I think they basically realised she was being unreasonable complaining I wouldnt let her in my garden LOL. Of course I wouldnt - it was mine! But I wasn't very happy about having to explain in detail to them exactly where my boundaries lie - even though I think they did "get it" eventually and I've made them plainer and plainer over the time I've been here. I almost wondered whether she'd call them in again when she had quite deliberately parked right in the entranceway to my garden and blocking it when she could have reasonably foreseen that the workman I'd had in several days in a row would clearly be coming back again that day - as the work obviously hadnt been finished yet. I'd worked out she would try that one on at some point and decided what to do in advance if she did pull that stunt and cue for one (somewhat nervous) workman parking right behind her deliberately blocking car and leaving it there. It took her a couple of hours before she came out all flustery and trying to pretend to my workman she hadnt done it deliberately - so that he would move his vehicle from blocking her and she would then put it in her parking space (where it should have been in the first place).

I've had to be quite firm that it's clear whose parking is whose and they can't park in mine - just because I've got more than they have. Their house came as it came...with that more limited parking. That does not mean they could use mine.

therustyfairy

The question was 'How Much Has Your Neighbour Cost You' - Gransnet members were not asked 'How nice is your neighbour' Like CariadAgain my neighbours have cost me financially as well as precious time and also caused disruption, dispair and distress. It is a serious problem not taken with the gravitas deserved. Neither is it helpful when Gransnet members respond and share their 'Nice Neighbour Narratives', it negates the problem raised and, fails to recognize the author's dilemma.

Yep.

I try not to think about the time they've cost me as well (something I could have done without in an area that works more "slowly" than I'm used to anyway - ie I still can't quite believe I had to have Openreach in FIFTY times!!!!! before my phoneline and internet worked normally - as I'd been used to without a problem ever in my last house). I dread to think just how much of my time got wasted all round - rather than me having it available to use for whatever leisuretime pursuit I'd decided on. That didn't do wonders for my housework either - as I took the view that there was enough time for 2 out of 3 of "my Life", dealing with them and doing housework and would knock time off what I'd planned to use for housework if some more had gone on dealing with them.

It took a while before my neighbours had all clicked too that the trespassing in my garden had to stop and so I felt a bit on edge and probably/defo peering at my security monitor screen until the message finally sank in to "keep out" - as I dived out and went for them each time I spotted them - in the view that they'd get fed-up with transgressing and being told off at some point. I took the view that I was going to be quite open all round with everyone outside my road as to what was going on - as I wasn't going to hide their misdeeds and let them silently get up to all sorts. Nope - I decided it was best to "show them up" and so I'd tell everyone and make a joke of the lies one particular neighbour told when I caught him walking round my garden at 7 in the morning one time!

So yep...I joked about their excuses when I accosted them in my garden. I joked about them treating me like a "woman" - rather than a "person - sex irrelevant" (as I swear women get treated worst - as some think we're weaker because of that).

How much did time and money do you reckon your neighbours cost therustyfairy?

I'm with Norah and *Gannet" - extremely fortunate not to have close neighbours. Our grandsons can play the drums and keyboard as loud as they like 2henever they like and nobody will complain - except our cats, they hate it! My closest friend has just had her closest neighbours of 30 odd years turn on her, they've always been OK but have suddenly decided to be unpleasant. It's really upset her, a recently widowed lady who wouldn't say boo to a goose. So glad we don't have any.

What a nightmare OP - we are fortunate. Our neighbours are superb - we socialise with many of them and holiday with 3 sets of couples in our street. We all have our own lives but share a lot of fun with them and trust them completely to look after our home when we travel on our own at other times.

Our neighbour has cost us about £1500 so far, keeping her conifers from blocking our gutters, growing into the roof and casting shade into our garden.
She has an animal rescue in her small garden and now there are large holes appearing in the bank between our gardens and under her large sycamore. Possibly escaped rabbits! The costs will be ongoing because she refuses to cut the trees to the top of the 6’ fence.

We have lovely neighbours next door on one side. I know they would be there in any emergency. On the other side they kept themselves to themselves but in a friendly way. Wife died and husband now has dementia so how long he will be our neighbour who can say? It does worry me a bit …. The rest are all on speaking terms and would take parcels in etc but we don’t know them well.

GANNET No nearby neighbours which is a relief.

Same. Lovely innit?

CariadAgain what terrible neighbours you have. I don’t know how they dare walk onto your property and another try to steal your land. May I ask which part of the UK you live in? Mind you there are odd people everywhere. We have Plymouth Brethren on one side and they keep themselves to themselves, very quiet but also unfriendly. The family on the other side were very kind to us during Covid. They always asked us to any parties and celebrations they were having, and were very mindful of not playing their music too loud. We are very lucky. If we lived across the road…………. that would be another matter, one of the nosiest women I have ever come across live’s there causing people problems, she loves reporting people to the authorities for minor issues.

No nearby neighbours which is a relief. Had neighbours in our first home in the 80s - a bachelor next door who regularly flooded his house and ours. Put our insurance premiums up.

Well, between us we cost each other a marriage, the lady next door and me.

She moved in with her husband when they retired, and there was an instant spark between us, which was a surprise seeing as we were both in our early sixties.

Nonetheless, we behaved ourselves for about eighteen months even though it was becoming more and more obvious to both of us that each wanted the other.

So we started an affair, lasting about a year before we decided to stop hiding and sneaking around and came clean. We've been together over three years now and the fire still burns brightly.

My nice neighbour passed away a few months ago. We are in council properties. A new tenant has moved in & so far has not cost much in money terms but in aggravation seems like thousands! Every time I go in my garden she can see as she has even in freezing cold both lounge windows open & back door open! Then hides behind the bushes & shoots out at me as I take bird feeders back out to rehang! Also someone from her side has climbed the small fence at the end of the gardens & poked around in my recycling bins, leaving the lids scattered in the garden! Now there are broken bushes scattered over part of my garden which I will have to pay to remove. I have also had to pay out £250 for a fence to be put up to stop her seeing me in my garden. Our local Housing Officer gave permission for the fence when told about this woman. We were then told that she is ‘known’ to the council & has caused trouble before being moved on several times! So this is the start of a neighbour causing me to spend money I do not have much of! How much she will have cost me by the time she is moved on we will find out in time I guess!