I want to declutter, partner does not want to?

I'm in that situation too.DH won't throw things away.

I think he probably is a hoarder, actually. He leaves empty packets for me to put in the bin, really has a problem with throwing rubbish away even.

I get rid of things that are "mine". I leave his things alone. He has a lot of boat related stuff and 2 old lawnmowers that don't work, and 2 bikes from 25+ years ago, decrepit -looking and I'm not allowed to do anything about them. But things in the attic, candles, household things I do throw out or sell on - it's my home too.

SpinDriftCoastal

I once knew a lady whose husband had a penchant for smart suits. They lived in a long walk in wardrobe and some of them were 20 years old and more. Despite this he would continue to buy new suits. On the arrival of the next resident, the lady would remove one he had bought years ago and donate it to charity so the suits were actually contained in the wardrobe and he never even noticed one was missing.

One in, one out is my motto

So would I!
I'm that much of a hypercrite.

If anyone ‘quietly removed’ my stuff without checking with me I would be very upset.

Milest0ne

One effort at de cluttering has resulted in a large bag of paired socks which for him have rather tight elastic tops. I have made fabric tubes to use as draught excluders which I can stuff with the surplus socks. But--- Nobody I know wants or needs draught excluders. . does anybody know if the charity shops take pairs of socks?

We take new ones. The others go in the rag bag.

You DO completely understand that you’re not allowed to just chuck his stuff away against his wishes, don’t you?

As the daughter of an elderly man who refused to throw anything away or let me tidy up or move anything, as he “knew where everything was”, I spent several thousand pounds and much heartache after he died, getting rid of 75+ years of stuff in the house, garage and shed: not just his, but things he inherited and other stuff he kept in case it “came in handy”.

Furniture is worthless without fire retardant labels, charities are overwhelmed with clothing, books and old china. Most upsetting was that no-one wanted his large and cherished collection of opera and jazz LPs. I’ve also still got to go through suitcases full of old photos.

Moral of the story, get rid of all the clutter and stuff before you are too overwhelmed or elderly and spare your children the task later.

I have moved 3 times in the last 10 years. Did a big declutter each time. The only thing I kept without sorting was a large box of photographs spanning around 50 years. I started looking at them this week with daughters and granddaughters and they are going to help me cull them and just keep some sentimental or historical significance. 17 year old granddaughter was fascinated to see my engagement photo which was taken when I was the same age as her

Get a big skip

One effort at de cluttering has resulted in a large bag of paired socks which for him have rather tight elastic tops. I have made fabric tubes to use as draught excluders which I can stuff with the surplus socks. But--- Nobody I know wants or needs draught excluders. . does anybody know if the charity shops take pairs of socks?

I would say i'm a hoarder,i've got clothes that are years old that still fit me,some i still wear,i've got two wardrobes full.Cards are another thing,i've got boxes of them,the ones i keep from my Daughter and Son for bithdays,Mothers day,anniversarys all have such lovely words inside,also nice ones from Sisters,Niece and Nephew and Christmas cards,hubby has a moan now and then.

Decluttering clears the mind and makes you feel great. One of the reasons my brother is a rich man is because as well as a removal company he offers storage facilities. Many people have been paying for storage for 20+ years and never go near. They feel guilty and stressed about “stuff”. Get rid of it. It’s your home too. Living with clutter is debilitating.

Apologies, Essexgirl
I'm a bit grouchy these days.
I hope i didn't offend.

MissA you never fail to brighten my day.

NotSpaghetti nicely doesn't work I'm afraid, bull by the horns is more me.

MissAdventure

Of course it's my opinion.
I'd look a bit daft posting someone else's.

Have just been doing a lot of decluttering as have been in present home for 25 years+ and lots of stuff have discovered don't need now.
Get rid of your own stuff first. Go through household goods ( amazing how many extra towels/ sheets/ cushions/throws/equipment you find! I discovered several electrical items no longer serviceable and lots of old china/ glassware/ ornaments not used for years.

Show DH what achieved. Then take advice from other posters re how to discuss his collections with him. I agree don't get rid of any of his things until you have done this. You will know what items he especially values

Just do it.If you dont use it get rid of it..What use is it.cant stant clutter

I'd get rid of any of my own stuff I don't want. Then I'd collect what wasn't mine but hasn't been used for years (what I think should go) put them in a box or two and ask partner if he wants to unload them and if it's a NO I'd be asking why not? I'd leave them in the boxes and put them in the garage, attic, shed out of sight.

Of course it's my opinion.
I'd look a bit daft posting someone else's.

That's just your opinion Misadventure, throwing out someone elses stuff is not on.

I throw away a percentage of mine and my DH “stuff” He has two small drawers which I’d never touch, with anything he feels is “sentimental”, as for the rest, so
Long as he has clean socks, pants, etc he’d never ever notice.

We’ve accumulated so much “stuff” (crap) in the 30 years we’ve lived together in this house (I lived here for 7 years before I even met him).

I’d say do it!

My DH still brings up that I got rid of his wooden clogs and cowboy boots remnants of our 70s youth, they had sat on the bottom of his wardrobe for years and in the end I made him throw them out . Probably in 90s , when we moved he had pay slips going back probably 40 years which is how long we had been married then, why ? Do good to anyone. I now usually just have a good clear out he doesn't usually notice. If he says anything is tight I put it in the charity bag, when it is full it gets donated.

I agree with all that has been said but sometimes it saves the hoarder’s feelings if you get rid of stuff quietly. I mostly make a decision (currently working on the loft but it’s a long-term project) but sometimes I’ll show him the items and hope he’ll agree that they can go.
I completely empathise with those who feel that the past, represented by objects from the past, can exert a stranglehold on one’s life.

Dear Goodness me Linda Pat!- if i had been able to lose so much weight i would definitely be clearing out the bigger clothes(maybe keep one dress or something as a deterrance not to gain that much again?) And you should treat yourself to a few new outfits as a reward.You deserve it! Well done.😃

Would the old letters be any good to a museum perhaps?