get grandchildren out of foster care

I thought I didn’t recognise any usernames! This is an old thread. Wonder how they all got on.....

The OP's grandchildren will be teenagers by now - I hope it all worked out well.

You might want to start a new thread Car88. This one is from 2013. Best wishes.

Hi there everyone
Just joined I'm a grandparent in same boat as a lot of your readers
Just waiting for social worker will get back soon

I had custody of my twin grandsons for 9 1/2 months. During this time, I was consumed with hoping my daughter would get them back. I literally worried myself sick. More to the story but that's enough for you to understand. I had to ask my niece and nephew to keep them for me and Dfcs placed them in their care. Five months later and I am more than stable enough to keep them but Dfcs says they don't like to give them back to the previous person. I am able to care for them without a doubt. I have been with them their whole lives except for four months when they lived with their mom. Niece and nephew don't allow me to see them very often. Maybe once a week if I'm lucky. They love us! They are loved by us! They have structure with us! How can I get them back? Any advice?

Grannylyn65 because this is more common than it seems hence a place where anyone can add to it when going through the same thing rather than all create separate posts about the topic

Genieslot8 sorry you are going through this , is there anyone else in the family who can have the children? Or could you not move home? I moved house as soon as I knew my home would be unsuitable for my Grandson

His foster carer would allow no sugar at all , so at the contact centre I used to bring ingredients for sugar free banana and peanut butter muffins which he LOVED and loved making with me and it helped to do something fun together in what was an awful situation tbh

I also made him home made sugar free rice pudding with mashed banana and raisins in it instead of sugar but not sure if the foster carer gave it to him or if it went in the bin! lol

I presume they are at least given a drink of water with their school meal? If not insist that they have a cup of tap water at least or send a crate of small bottles of mineral water for them or just make sure with the foster carer that she ensures they get a drink ( I send my Grandson to school with a drinks flask every day and yes he is living with me now! )

The real concern is the shouting and hitting them if it is indeed true as it will have to be investigated vis social services so make sure you tell them what the children are saying as if social services are concerned the children will be removed and placed elsewhere

Try and see if you or someone else in the family can have the children as non family is not as good as family for the children's sense of belonging , identity , security etc and it has been shown that children do better within the family in these circumstances which is why the authorities are meant to look at family first for placement of the children

Why is this post still 'active' sfter so long?

My two grandchildren are in foster care but hate it there they lock a lot of stuff I give them away so don't get many if any sweets chocs etc. If I could have them at my house I would but have no spare room. They don't get any extra money on the dinner card they have at school so can only have meal but no afters drink etc as its extra, not allowed sweets chocs at foster home and most of the stuff me and their mum as bought gets confiscated. Amber told her friend she hates it because they shout at them and even said they smack them. It's breaking my heart is it true I done know.

JRad69. You need a solicitor. Contact your local CAB (Citizens Advice Bureau). Their help is free and they will be able to give you help and advice. Your local CAB can be found online or in your local telephone directory or library.

We are currently at the very early stages of fighting for our 5 year old grandson who was placed into care on Tuesday this week. He has been placed with a same sex couple miles away from his family and school. He is being home tutored by one of the couple who is a teaching assistant. We have gone through a viability assessment to care for him from the fostering team who recommended this be the case but the social services contested it and the judge ruled with them. They are proposing a further, more in depth assessment take place which we are happy to undergo of course but time is of the essence here and we feel we need to get him out of care sooner rather than later. There is a further hearing on 26th Nov and we have sought legal advice and appointed a solicitor, the fees are £3000.00 + but we have not yet handed over any monies at this stage. We are now concerned as we have read other reports and horror stories from other families in a similar situation where it seems that not only are the ss are 'in on it' with the judges sometimes but sometimes even the solicitors so we are cautious about the solicitor now. Can anyone recommend a good honest solicitor? We live in Chigwell Essex, the case is being heard in Ipswich, Suffolk. Any other advice would also be welcomed. Any success stories will be gratefully received too! Thank you

Hi, I think I've come to the right place! Ok. In a 44 yr old nanny of two granddaughters 7 & 4, their mum is my daughter. Xmas night 2012 my daughter walked out with a drunk down the road & left the dad to get on with it. Numb with shock I picked up kids & made the best of a terrible day for them. The dad used to be a drug dealer which is why I found it hard to even be civil to him. SS were informed & they agrees the girls stay with him in the house for the time being. My daughter had relied heavily on postnatal medication Prozac but then after tests said she hS been wrongly diagnosed £ medicated for three years. She has BPD as well as a bad drunk problem. Now I had just moved into a rental home following a breakup of 17 yrs & doing a full time degree and working as well. When SS asked me to have kids I said no. However within two weeks my heart was breaking & we took them in. My youngest daughter of 21 lives at home & also at Uni plus works two jobs. For six weeks the kids slept one in my bed & the other in daughters. Four months max we were told & I had them under friends & family carers. My daughter was moved across country & trained each week at a contact centre supervised for 1.5hrs each weds. Kids were on CP & agreed kids stay with me. In April SW suggested I b their foster carer saying I could get 21days respite each year as what started off as four months was laughable. All was agreed. Foster assessor came round & by Monday it was in motion. We waited & apparently the children's SW was too busy to get everyone together! My daughter was making progress & once the SW finally realised I wasn't giving the foster idea up the last was re introduced to me who said she was amazed that it was just left for 3months. By the time I was their temp care it was the end of July & I was told it was yo to me to find school placements! School had broken up at thus point. My daughter finally made progress & was moving back in a hostel in September. First week back at school Sw tells me I have to drive kids back to their old school as no places were available! We all agreed that under no circumstances were they to go back there as if would bit help them to go forward. Their mum returned to live here the same day I managed to get eldest gd in a school nearby but it took a week & I also had to take the youngest god placement to appeal, which I did & one. Right, so this had gone on for nine months now & kids were thriving. Within one month everything was turned upside down, my eldest grabs daughter was stealing, lieing, being rude at school, spitting & trashing her new uniform. At home it became just as bad. I asked ss to please hell me support my god complex behaviour, train me teach me anything. I then said could I please gave that one weeks respite. The SW rang me ' said it's all in hand & two weeks would be granted so I could get up to date with unj work & household chores. Phew I needed this. I had had no help in ten months. All was signed off, kids left for their lil break with a small case & due back 4 nov fir school. I get a call the Thursday asking me to drop by, that was fine so we could arrange drop off for sun night......my world blew apart. WS told that as j clearly stated j couldn't cope & needed time out it wasn't good on my part & that they felt with all of my commitments to Uni etc they want to kids to remain in respite care now foster care. I told my daughter, their mum who has now had a massive relapse. Last but not least, I've now removed her from my life & she wants me to bs punished, the SW knew we weren't talking & also knew she was very vaunrable in relapse & rang her for permission to keep kids in FC. She agreed. Here I am now devasted looking at toys all in my house & their wellie boots on toilet door. It's three weeks now & I've had a lot of time to think. I now believe my grand daughters outbursts for September were all out of emotional dislike directed to her mum returning. Bless her xx I want these kids back in their beds where they are loved and wanted. Can anybody suggest any action for me at all?

More agreement with night owl and when - a good solicitor is essential for you. It sounds as though a very quick viability assessment was done at a particularly difficult time for everyone. This doesn't rule out a more detailed viability which may lead to a full assessment. Keep in touch with the social work team involved and if you're confused by their statements or actions, talk to your solicitor and the children's guardian, who will be appointed by the court. Best wishes

I would gree with nightowl. There's a social services office on Brownley Road in Wythenshawe. Keep in touch with them and ask them if you are being considered as a carer, but do get the legal back up you need.

These are very sensitive situations which it is impossible to give advice on, other than to say seek legal advice (as you have done). Once a case is in Court proceedings it is only there that anything can be decided. In addition, do try to get as much information about why you were not considered suitable and try to keep up the communication with social workers, however difficult that might be. Good luck to all of you in this situation.

hello my name is lucy and 3 days ago social services put my granddaughter into care

My daughter signed a document believing that she would be placed into our care ,social services did a home assessment taking 20 mins and on the back of that removed her from our home .we are at our wits end ,what can we do? can we make them re do the assessment ? they didn't ask for references or anything ....?

they said she would be in care for up to 8 weeks ....can you help or advise any liaison or support in our area which is Wythenshawe Manchester, we already have appointed a solicitor

thank you

i am having trouble getting my granddaughter out of care. my daughter had her taken off her for genuine reason. but... me and my husband wanted her straight away, we have been there for her from birth nearly every weekend and a few days of the week.
My own children have had problems themselves growing up, my eldest used to self harm but does not anymore and has two sons herself and a great mum, my second is the one had her daughter taken away because she kept putting her at harm with reasons i wont go into.
my youngest has a criminal record for abh,1 knife crime, and a few thefts. ( only out in the street with it did not actually stab anyone just didnt know what to do with himself once in trouble) he is a good lad now and grown up is 19 and moved out.
the s/w are saying that we have been bad parents as they have all had problems....they say our children have not mentioned that they love and value us.. i know they do...as well as i know i love them no matter what...
there assessments have all been lies or twisted words, we did record one of sessions and when the assessment was done we then have proof of the lies. our last assessment is just as condemning and says they are not putting us through as viable carers for my granddaughter, her father is also failing his assessments and having same probs with s/w..
any help would be much appreciated. i am very very scared they are going to take her away from her much loved family, not just us but her cousins, aunt and uncle, great grandparents and so on.
My grandson and granddaughter are only a day apart (yes both daughter pregnant at same time and in hospital together) they have grown up together and are only two... we already miss her and she has been taken away from us now for the past 4 months and we only see her once a week... definitely not enough, we have tried on numerous occasions to see her more. any help please

Great news Bewildered, so good to see that your initial worries about social workers/guardians have been lessened. I'm a retired social worker/guardian and appreciate just how hard it is for grandparents in these circumstances. All best for the future

I am so pleased for you Bewidered. Just one tip; accept whatever help/assistance is offered. Even though they're your grandchildren and you love them it is an ENORMOUS upheaval for everyone.

Thought I would update everyone, we have had the viability and it was positive and been to court , they are starting full foster carer assessment soon and placing 2 children with us in just over 2 weeks, if all positive child 3 will come soon after and we will be allowed to care for them. Waiting for a date now to do a planning meeting to work out the details of it all .

Thankfully all seems to be ok so far , only concern is father has to now be told and that is a big worry

Thanks for all the help advise so far ,it's been a comfort to be able to come here

Seek legal representation. I guess you may have to pay for the advice.

I am sorry to read about your situation claryanne,I hope you can get help to find out what is happening and why ..............................

claryanne I am sorry I can not offer any advice but my heart goes out to you and I wish you the very best in your endeavour to get your DGC back

thank you all for your best wishes. i have a solicitor who has asked for details of the report that she has done .i get the feeling that the social worker involved wants my grandchildren taken away from the family.my daughter has been told that they will not be going home to her and they are looking at long term care for the children.they are 4 and 6 years old we want to and can give them a good and loving home to grow up in .my daughter has never got on with the social worker and i must say she is rather difficult to speak to .as we have found out i can see things from both sides my daughters and that of the social worker .but never ever thought that it would have came to us not getting the support from the social worker .i am so worried that they are taken away and that they think we dont want and love them it breaks my heart .i have only been allowed 1 vist to see them while they have been in care has anyone else had the same experience as us . and can offer some hope please

Nellimoser is right claryanne we don't know the whole picture but you do have a right to know why the social worker's report was negative. Have you asked for a meeting with the social worker and/or the manager? You also need some legal advice and I suggest you try to get this via a law centre or CAB.

If you haven't already done so, do look at the Family Rights Group or Grandparents Plus websites for information. Good luck.

claryanne There is little advice anyone can give as its all now in in the hands of the legal system and we cannot know the whole picture.

I hope it works out well for you.