Off to annoy another NHS Continuing Care Nurse today.

My offspring and their partners have bought their own homes, without much help from me - except for a loan to make up the mortgage deposit. I am proud of their self-sufficiency. Please stop me if I sound as smug as you-know-who.

The nursing homes aroun suttoncoldfield must be full by now!

Goodness Frank how do you fit all this in? Is this yet another lady? How many is that in the last week?

Just been asked by a lady if I can attend her father's assessment in 3 weeks.
The letter is signed by the care nurse I saw the last time.



Frank

Ariadne's darkened room, anyone?

absent

The parent has passed away but in all cases I have been involved in the children are still in the houses.

Frank

So they haven't assed on then?

Hi gracemum / Galen / Soop

You may laugh but these people are still living in the houses.

Frank

Galen

Yawn!

Gracemum / Galen

If a son / daughter has inherited half a house from 1 parent and decides to move in he / she becomes an owner occupier and can not be thrown out.
The other parent can not sell the property as nobody would want to buy a house with somebody living in it so that in effect makes the other parent's share worthless.
What she could have done if the mother was only qualified for social funding she could have took it and paid top up.
In this case only 1 home would take the mother because of behaviour problems which was an expensive one so the mother would not have got a better care home if the daughter paid.
As the mother was violent and the daughter would not finance the care the NHS had no alternative but to pay.

Frank

Hear hear!

Perhaps I will feel differently when I am in my care home, but if I hd a £750K house and my parent could have a more comfortable final few years if they were self-funding, I would not begrudge them the money. I was brought up to stand on my own feet. I believe adult children have no right of expectation of an inheritance when their parents die. If there is anything left over, fine, but you do not expect the state to look after you and yours* if you are capable of doing it yourself* It's as wrong to expect the state to pick up the tab for your parents as for your children.
Don't bother to reply to this Frank we obviously have differing views as to responsibility and self-respect.

Hi Mishap

I was involved in a meeting once and we were polite and pointed out to the Social Worker that the property did not have to be sold as it was jointly owned.
The Social Worker just said that it was not necessary for 1 person to have a £750,000 house on her own and then went on that there would be a much better choice of homes available if the patient was self funded.
He did not mention that as the father had very little money except his share of the property the daughter was entitled to social funding as a minimum.
He then asked her if she had financial advice with a view to paying the fees out of her money and the fathers pension.
At that point she just said she was paying nothing knowing they could not let the father go on the street.
It was amazing how quick it was found out the father was entitled to NHS funding and he went in to a nice secure home at the expense of the NHS and the daughter has now inherited the house.

Frank

lovely

Here's an idea......

"Good day Ms/Mrs/Mr Social Worker/nurse

Mrs/mr so-and-so has asked for me to be here today to help clarify the position as regards (client's name). I know that we are both working to get the best care for (...) and to make sure that all the rules are followed. I have a feeling that there might have been some mistake here as regards the advice (.....) has received. I realise it is a complex system and would like to discuss this with you to make sure that everything is as it should be. I am sure that we can work this out together to everyone's benefit."

Might that be better than setting out to annoy?

Well put absent but reading the response I feel your comments have fallen on stoney ground.

Hi Galen

By law I have got to be admitted to the meetings if the relative wants me to be there.
I am sure they would like to see solicitors banned.
I am not sure what would happen if an individual Social Worker or Continuing Care Nurse refused to work with me in the room.
The only possibility I could think of is a manager might have to deal with the case.

Frank

Hi Mishap

I do not charge for advice.
The lady wanted to buy me a meal for my help.
I did not have time yesterday but I may take her up on her offer in the near future.
We won't go too expensive possibly a Harvester.
I will buy some drinks and we may go for a Latte at the café around the corner after which I will pay for.
I think it should have been blatantly obvious to her the patient did not own the property.
We showed her the latest photocopy of the Land Certificate and she still insisted the property would have to be sold.
At least my friend will have her money and her home.

Frank

Well said Mishap I couldn't agree more.
I suspect that if I was the unfortunate SW, I would refuse to continue in Frank's presence.

Why do you always go spoiling for a fight with those who are employed to help people? Maybe if you arrived with an open mind and looked at ways of co-operating and working together it might be more productive.

What chip on your shoulder has been focussed on this particular issue that makes you want to go in all guns blazing with a desire to annoy?

In the main these people are working hard to do their best for people under very often difficult circumstances and we have to give them some credit for caring and doing their best in the face of a problematic system that is not of their making. How will it help to annoy them?

I have been the one going back to the powers that be with an assessment that means they have to fork out and it is not a pleasant experience. Has to be done of course and my duty was always to the patient and family, but it truly is not easy believe me! The faceless people behind their desks are not having to see the suffering at grass roots level, and the training that the nurses etc receive in these matters leaves something to be desired.

I have been faced with a number of battles over the quality of care for my father, but I always give credit where it is due and praise those members of the team who do a good job. The intermediate care team were wonderful and I told them so frequently.

If this nurse has made a mistake then it needs to be sorted, but maybe with good manners and consideration rather than a desire to annoy. I know well the scenario where you go into a profession with a sense of dedication and a desire to help and then find yourself morphed into a finanncial gatekeeper for a system of which you do not approve. Cut her some slack why don't you? Help to move things on in a considerate way.

Your approach is so unproductive - what is your role in these situations? Who is asking you to get involved? Are you really helping them by being so belligerent?

When I was a SW there was a man who latched onto vulnerable elderly people and their families and charged them for advice that could have been theirs for free and was often wrong. I hope you are not one of these!!!!

This is the first time that I have replied to one of your posts as they always seem so antagonisitc and life is too short to be bothered with them; but entitling your thread with a clear plan to annoy somebody is so ridiculous. Have you thought about meditation?! Or taking a different path in life and enjoying your retirement.

Sorry to be so blunt - I am not usually - but really this is all becoming so tiresome. I'm with shysal on this one - try being pleasant?

Just composed a draft letter of complaint on my laptop for the step daughter to complete / amend as required.
I am not very sure however if it will do any good.

Frank

Hi Nonu

I have spoken to the step daughter and we have agreed to compose a letter as suggested tomorrow morning.
What is more worrying is how many houses have been sold which should not have been sold around the country.
I do realise people could be compensated in money terms but if the property had been sold and the new people had moved in it is unlikely the step daughter could have got it back.

Frank

You need to get on the case and send letters letters to the line manager and senior officer ---- pronto .

You know you want to .

If this CHC nurse is asking for funding illegally, and it sounds as if this might be the case as she is giving out misinformation to clients, then a letter needs to be sent to her immediate Line Manager and a more Senior Officer.