Last will

We have ideas about the value of "some of our stuff" and are often quite mistaken. Obviously, if you are talking about genuine antiques in good condition, Georgian silver, or fine paintings, that's a bit different. If "our stuff" went into auction, maybe no one would buy it. It may also have no value to our young people and eventually find its way to a charity shop – or skip. So what? Why would they care about our "treasures" unless they treasure them themselves?

Florence I've told my lot where all the docs are and tried to get them to understand the value of some of our stuff but they don't want to know! They seem to think we will go on forever!

Hello gillybob, listen to Movedalot. Perhaps a chat with a disinterested friend would help you see your way through, then ask around for recommendations for a Solicitor who seems to be 'human'. Our set up is complicated too, but a long standing family Solicitor helped us set it up so it comes out as evenhanded and as transparently as possible. We have also let all those concerend know of the main overview (and where to find documents)

gilly please do it, just to make life easier for those you love.

Making a will is something I know I need to do. However having a somewhat complicated family set up I honestly don't know where to start.

Florence .

{sunshine]

HunterF...I have no wish to get into a discussion with you about how you are percieved. I merely posted that a legally written Will is to be encouraged. Personalities are something else.

Florence56

How do you define unpleasant people?.
A lot of people thought I was unpleasant as I would not give the family house to my father's ex.

Frank

HunterF, but that is a matter of personalities - you cannot legislate for unpleasant people.

Florence56

The problem was we had done all the caring for my mother in law and even if there had been no will my daughters would have inherited the estate.

For some reason which I can not understand my mother in law's cousins etc thought they should have the estate. They had done nothing for her.

Frank

Movedalot

A situation which happened caused problems was a wife left her half of the house to the children and the father got married again after her death and bought his new wife in to the house.
He died and the children wanted their half share immediately.
Legal action started but as it happened the new wife passed away about 6 weeks later.
I don't know the full storey but the children would have certainly been entitled to their half share of the proceeds from the house sale.
If the new wife had lived a lot longer I not sure if the children would have had to have waited till she died.
In my view if the children owned half of the house a legally binding agreement should be made giving the new wife the right to live in the house in return for the children getting all of the house on her death or when she has to go in to permanent care.

Frank

HunterF, am not sure what you are trying to say. All I am saying is that we need to make legally binding Wills, it wont stop arguements if people feel they have issues, but at least the deceased person's wishes are carried out.

Florence56

My mother / father in law did not discuss their wills with anybody except myself and my daughters. My 2 daughters got half of their estate each.
When my wife died my mother in law had a visit from relatives on her side of the family who she had not seen for 20 years and they wanted to be beneficiaries of her will.
Oddly enough when they came in she did not recognise them and she thought they were from my side of the family.
Oddly enough I did recognise them.
At that point in time my 2 daughters owned half of her bungalow between them anyway through my father in laws will.
My mother in law told them to go and stated clearly they would get nothing.
They would not leave and I went in to the other room and phoned my 2 sons in law.
About half an hour later my 2 sons in law arrived with 7 of their friends and the relatives were quick to leave.
They did not insist on having anything but we gave them all a drink as they were getting thirsty.
2 if them had a can of Stella and the others had various non alcoholic drinks.

Frank

I'd like to add 2 points. If the will is not complicated or the person who dies intestate had a simple estate it is quite simple to deal wtih it all by yourself and not involve a solicitor. We've done it.

It is important to make a new will if you remary as the old one is no longer valid. If you do not make a new will your new spouse will be entitled to everything and your children to nothing. At least that was the case until a few years ago and I haven't heard that it has changed.

Bad feeling caused by a will is quite different from the emotional turmoil of people not settling their affairs. We all have the right to make a will the way we wish, and if that upsets the people left behind, its unfortunate and unpleasant, but it is the deceased person's wishes (although its a shame if they have not discussed it beforehand).
Writing a legally binding Will will not stop families falling out but it does ensure those left behind know what to do and that they have one less thing to worry about.

Not all houses are jointly owned.

petra

Even when a will is written it an cause a lot of bad feeling.
As I said before the fact that my mother in law left her money to my daughters caused a lot of bad feeling on her side of the family.
They thought grandchildren did not have any right to the money of a grandparent if the mother had died.
My parents leaving their money and house to me caused a lot of bad feeling. None of the family complained just friends of my father's ex.

Frank

I think everyone has a moral duty to make a will.
I have been in a family situation where the outcome of someone not writing a will caused a lot of bad feeling.

Hello Tegan, a sad story, such a shame for you. Yes having a Will made, even when you feel you don't have a lot, means there is an executor (ideally someone from the next generation) who can get things sorted once probate is done. Its all so much easier, far less traumatic for those left behind, and more economic.

My husband and I have made our wills which are lodged with our solicitor. Our children are joint executors. Very clean and simple.

My mother spent a lot of money changing her will to 'cut out' whoever she was angry with (mostly me). She spent her last few years fizzing with anger that I had refused to leave my family in Berkshire, move to Norfolk to 'look after' her. We didn't speak for several years. When she died I was astounded to find that she had named me as her main beneficiary. However by that time, care home fees and solicitors charges had eaten into her estate which left a very small balance. We donated most of it to the local Cat's Protection League in her name.

My parents didn't have much money and lived in rented accomodation but they died intestate and, even though I was their only child, a large proportion of their money [which was only a few thousands if that] went in solicitors fees . I agree that you're never too young to make out a will [especially if you own your house] and also important to incorporate power of attorney into it as well.

Hello, I am perhaps a little odd as I don't see writing ones Will as anything to do with getting old. Why do people feel they need to wait?
I wrote my first on re-marriage aged 32. Over the years we have updated ours as circumstances have changed, I'd hate for the family to have problems after OH and I have gone. Wish they would bring back the programme on TV that Gerry whats his name did, where he took a mix variety of families and got them to address the problem. Certainly showed the pain of not getting it done, and was a salutary lesson.

Wills are certainly important and it is important for each spouse to will their halves of their house to their offspring so councils can not take all of a house if one of them has to go in to care.
There are a lot of misunderstandings about regarding inheritance law.
A lady I worked with continually read the death announcements in the local newspapers thinking if one of her relatives died she would be rich.
Oddly enough when my mother in law passed away she left her estate to my 2 daughters in her will.
She outlived my wife.
Her side of the family thought they ranked before my daughters saying blood relatives came first with inheritance.
As she was the grandmother of my daughters I am wondering why they thought they were not blood relatives because my wife had passed away.
In any case if there had been no will my daughters would have inherited the estate.

Frank

Yes, but it does need amending in the light of the grandchildren who have arrived since it was first made. Thanks for the reminder.

We've had Wills done because a friend of ours said how much difficulty it had caused when her husband died without having made one - and, if we both died at the same time, we wouldn't want our children burdened with extra problems.

My mum, who's 92, hasn't. Neither has she signed an Enduring Power of Attorney (I think that's what they're called) in the event that she becomes unable to manage things on her own. I believe if no legal provision has been made, the Court of Protection has to be involved and that is a time-consuming and costly matter. I have broached the subject but she is unresponsive and it's not a subject that I feel comfortable harping on about.